Episode Report Card Gwen: D+ | Grade It Now! YOU GRADE IT Cameo Cavalcade
By Gwen | Season 4 | Episode 20 | Aired on 04.29.2001
Renee, in a heinously tight and shiny blue blouse, flatly baby-voices some song about moving on from one loser guy to another. Jackson watches with a wolfish grin until Ling blocks his view, asking, "You slept with her?" Jackson protests that he hasn't "re-slept" with Ling because she hasn't let him. "Oh, right -- after you've been with that. Don't talk to me. Don't even look at me," Ling fumes. Guess what happens next. Richard walks in with Chesty Margolis, right as Renee's singing, "If I start being seen with someone new, don't be blue, don't be blue." Ling fumes some more. Poor Ling. Time to crank up the escort service again.
Discomfort Lawyer asks Sting directly, "Did you want to be with Melissa that evening as you sang to her?" Sting pauses dramatically and then says he did. "I can't lie about it anymore, Larry," he continues. Then, to Melissa: "That night, when I sang that song, I allowed myself to dream. I imagined myself in your arms -- running away with you, making love with you." Melissa's eyes mist up and she says, "Ah-ah-ah-ah!" "Uh...Sting..." says Larry. "I'm under oath, Larry," says Sting. When I was a teenager, I had a crush on Sting. My dad called him Stink. I also used to love Simon LeBon. My dad said he was a coke addict. When I was six or seven, I idolized Jamie Summers. My dad called her the "Bionic Broad." I would now like to take the time to thank my dad for foreshadowing my career as a recapper for MBTV.
Larry takes Sting into the other office. Sting asks how much it'd cost him to settle the case. Larry's new associate, still nameless to me, cynically explains that Sting's trying to be noble. Larry thanks Sting for settling and then passive-aggressifies something about sacrificing his own love life for the case, before hauling his files out the door. Nameless tells Sting that Larry missed his girlfriend's birthday. Sting looks properly concerned, just like he did when he dug Bart Simpson out of the well.
Back in the waiting/conference room, Larry initiates the settlement paperwork. He and Uncomfortable leave the cameo couple alone. Melissa "told you so"s, and Louis says that he now feels inadequate. "Louis, haven't I always told you what a vigorous lover you are?" Melissa asks. "But you could have had Sting," he replies. Now would be a good time for them to start making out, like Cheri always gets to do with Chris Kattan. Instead, Nosy Nameless walks in and tells Louis that rock stars are nothing but illusions. Melissa reminds Louis that their anniversary is that Saturday. Louis informs her that he already bought Springsteen tickets for the occasion. Nameless Nosy tells him to take Melissa to a movie, instead.