Episode Report Card Cindy McLennan: A | 1374 USERS: A- YOU GRADE IT Live Alone; Die Together
By Cindy McLennan | Season 5 | Episode 16 | Aired on 2009.05.13
The Pontoon: Ilana, Bram and crew, and their casket-sized crate (and other cargo, which includes an unconscious Frank) reach shore. The crew beaches the boat while Bram grumbles about having to bring this yahoo (i.e. Frank) along since he didn't even know the answer to "the question." Ilana says that doesn't mean he's not important. Bram wants to know if she means that Frank is a "candidate." Ilana realizes Frank is only pretending to be unconscious. Bram demands to know how long Frank has been listening, so Frank says, "Long enough to wonder what the hell I'm a candidate for." Never mind that, Frank. What's your slogan? Vote for Frank or he'll never grow back his beard. When Frank asks, "Who the hell are you people?" Ilana claims she, Bram and crew are "friends." He asks if all their friends get smacked in the head with an oar. Ilana smiles. "Only the ones we like." Heh. Has she met Sawyer? Frank again gives us a laidback Brad Pitt. "What's in the box?" Ilana raises her eyebrows at Bram who tells her it's her call. She orders the crew to open it and Frank gets a good look inside, but we don't. He winces and deadpans: "Terrific." And they go to commercial so they don't have to show us what's in the box, but we now all know what's in the box and that that what is but a who.
Jasper, Alabama; 1976: Eight year old Sawyer, who was then James Ford attends the funeral of his parents -- the mother who fell for a conman, and the father who fell for the con, learned the truth, killed his wife, then turned the gun on himself. Why don't these murder-suicide husbands ever skip the middle (wo)man? Sheeesh. After the caskets are loaded into the waiting hearses, wee Jimmy sits on the church stoop, fighting with a pen that's running out of ink as he tries to write his letter. JACOB appears and gives him a nice, new pen, which he tells him he can keep. They touch digits for a moment, while the pen changes hands. Jacob says, "I'm very sorry about your mother and father, James." With regret in his eyes, he smiles at the boy, and then leaves him there alone. James is soon joined by a man. We'll call him Doug because that's what he was named in the casting call. Doug tells "Jimmy" they have to get to the cemetery and then asks what he's writing. When the boy says, "Nothing," Doug grabs the notebook and reads: