Episode Report Card Gustave: B | Grade It Now! YOU GRADE IT Serfin' USA
By Gustave | Season 1 | Episode 22 | Aired on 05.06.2002
The time is 9:26:20 PM. Klockwise from the top left, Kiefer suffers, TerrorHopper eats, and Xander works the phones. Back in the KieferKube, an unseen secretary tells Xander that there's a phone call for him. It's Palmer. Palmer tells Xander to disobey Division's orders and make the trade. When Palmer becomes President, Xander will be rewarded with a high-level position in Washington. "And if you don't get elected?" asks Xander. "That's not going to happen," says Palmer. "Think about it, Xander."
Back at Serf and Turf's, TerrorHopper and FATB discuss something about transportation costing $200,000. TerrorHopper urges a koughing Kiefer to try some of the wonderful food that they're all eating. Milla Gueststarovna flirts with TerrorHopper. "My father told me to tek good care of you," says Milla, clearing the plates. TerrorHopper kompliments her kooking. Kiefer stabs a TerrorMinion and takes Milla hostage. TerrorHopper and the other TerrorMinions pull their guns on Kiefer. Kiefer kalls for everyone to drop their weapons. Everyone obeys except TerrorHopper. He shoots Milla. She's dead. Dude, no more kasha varnishkas for you. Kiefer is subdued by the other TerrorMinions. TerrorHopper demands to speak to CTU now. FATB orders the TerrorMinions to try to keep Victor Gueststarov away from his daughter's body.
The time is 9:29:27 PM. Soul Patch enters the KieferKube and tells Xander that Bride is safely out of the way in the Konfrontational Koffee room. The phone rings. It's FATB. "We're going to do the swap on our terms," says Xander. "That's an interesting dream," says FATB. He tells Xander to bring LittleTerrorBrother to a location in thirty "meenutes." Soul Patch has traced the location of FATB before he hangs up. And no one could do this back when Bride and Spawn were in The Stable of Sensuality? Xander tells Soul Patch to make arrangements to have the place surrounded in time for the trade, and to go get LittleTerrorBrother out of the hospital. "He just got stabbed in the stomach," says Soul Patch. "They're not going to let him out." "They're going to have to," says Xander.
Back at the Palmer Powwow, the jazz combo is now playing Kool and the Gang's "Celebration" while Palmer has a private cell phone call with an unidentified crony. "Don't worry," says Palmer. "My name's not going to be even close to this." I assume he's pulling strings for the Kiefer trade, but who knows? He rejoins the party and runs into Lady Mac. She carps on him about his general absence from the party. "Everyone is here to see you," says Lady Mac. "You need to make an impression, not phone calls." Palmer tells her to stop talking down to him. Lady Mac makes yet another crack about the "weakness" that Palmer has shown that day, tells him to "get to work," and exits to go speak to an off-camera pal. PerkyPatty enters, wanting to talk about some Wall Street Journal article that's being written on him. "Don't you look gorgeous tonight?" says Palmer. Actually, she could ease up a little on the lip liner, but that's just me. Palmer also wants to prepare for any future interviews, specifically regarding the media's questions about the Theo situation. Patty has already prepared some statements. Palmer wants to see them. Now. Back up in the Suite. Bamp bamp chicka pow pow.