Episode Report Card Erin: C- | Grade It Now! YOU GRADE IT Sharon! This episode sucked!
By Erin | Season 3 | Episode 2 | Aired on 10.04.2003
While I'm at it, I'll try your mom, too. She's always good for a party. Or, erm, I mean, "information." Assuming she's alive, that is. "I haven't talked to her for a year," he says. "But we established a protocol for making contact. I'll try to reach her. But for now," he says, his voice dropping to a tender note, "you deserve to get on with your life."
The New And Improved Ovary Electric. Agent Sean's helping Syd move in to what appears to be a totally killer new pad. "Why does lifting heavy objects automatically mean I'm in need of one of those beers?" asks Agent Sean, toting a big-ass box past Syd. "Chop-chop." Hee. Um. Why does Syd have boxes of shit? Didn't her place, like, BURN DOWN? The only personal effects she should have are boxes of charred picture frames and crates of smoldering sofa arms. And maybe an indestructible floor safe filled with cash and passports or something. I mean…WHATEVER.
Oh, screw it. Back in non-reality land, Syd hands Sean the beer he asked for and smiles sweetly at him. Sean practically falls on the floor all, was that a…SMILE?! Yeah, Sean. It was. Not that you'll see it again any time soon if you keep ANNOUNCING its appearance! God. That's like when you're walking down the street, minding your own business, possibly contemplating how you really should eat more fresh fruit but every time you go to the market and pick up peaches and plums and pears, they wind up moldering in your crisper drawer without ever coming NEAR your stomach, and some random guy goes, "Hey, how about a smile, cutie?" It's like, yeah, I could smile, Prince Charming, but I'd have to do so while RIPPING OFF YOUR TONGUE AND FEEDING IT TO THE PIGEONS.
Ahem. Sorry. Back to the scene at hand…oh, wait. We don't really have to go back to the scene. Know why? This scene is completely unnecessary. All it does is give the Exposition Fairy a chance to dance around the room in her pretty pink tutu, spreading plot dust wherever she smacks her wand. Bling! Francie's dead. Bling! Will's in witness protection. Bling! Syd's living alone. Bling! Syd has no friends. Bling! This apartment has a FIREPLACE. Bling! Sean has the hots for Syd. Bling! Syd's two blocks from the beach. Bling! Sean's her neighbor. Bling! REM's new song sounds just like "It's The End Of The World As We Know It." Bling! Vaughn spent months hiding out from the world in order to get over Syd, and he almost didn't recover. Bling! Vaughn's thinking about coming back to the Agency. Bling! He ain't coming back because of Syd.