Episode Report Card Wing Chun: A- | 0 USERS: N/A YOU GRADE IT Risk
By Wing Chun | Season 3 | Episode 13 | Aired on 2007.11.05
Nancy's. The alarm goes off, and Shane, brandishing a hockey stick, starts racing through the house, checking everyone's door; none of Andy, Silas, or Nancy has apparently been in bed. Shane comes downstairs, calling, "Mom? Dad?," finally -- after WAY too long for this viewer's taste -- managing to turn off the pealing alarm. In the quiet that ensues, Shane looks directly to the camera and greets whomever he apparently sees there, saying "it was just a bug in the system." That's one way to say it. A mental-health professional may have a different interpretation.
The next day, Celia shows up at the grow house, bringing plants to Vaneeta and Heylia (who are already out front, planting) and bitching that she thought she'd get to do something more exciting. What, like ride shotgun at a drive-by? You have to work your way up to that gig. She strikes a pose by the garage and, off Heylia's look, carps that she's "part Viking" and can't take the heat. Heylia archly notes that it sounds more like a hot flash -- which Celia doesn't deny -- and asks whether Celia's taking estrogen. Celia says she can't, because of her cancer. Heylia says she's tried everything -- HRT, ERT, herbs. Celia merrily says that vodka and cigarettes have been the only things that have worked for her, and Heylia decides that's as good a cue as any to take a break and have a butt. The two ladies light up, Celia asking whether Heylia has a man, and if so, whether he's a "piece-of-shit lying asshole." She forgot "hairy" and "crippled." Heylia says that she's starting to think she's destined to be alone, and that there's no shame in it. Celia whispers that she gets lonely, and Heylia sasses that she should get a dog. Celia says she's not good with animals. Heylia: "Men are animals!" Oh, show. You're better than that. At this, Vaneeta breaks in: "Two of the scariest bitches on the planet -- no wonder nothing with a dick wants to come within a hundred yards of either of you." Heylia tartly comments that Vaneeta's not exactly combing dudes out of her braids these days either: "So shut the fuck up, Vaneeta!" "Yeah, shut the fuck up, Vaneeta!" Celia mimics, trying it out and apparently really liking the sound of it. Heylia can't help cracking up. Oh, I really love the idea of these two becoming friends -- it's too perfect.
At the Majestic Senior Center, the guy who played Pickles on Scrubs is playing some kind of card game -- though apparently by himself, because Tara's doggedly reading to him from the Bible. He tells her to get to the punchline, already, and she's like, "It's a resurrection story," just like the one she was reading him last week. He says he doesn't know about that; what he does know is that what she's just sold him is "ditchweed." She takes a hit and agrees that it's sub-par, apologizing profusely; Silas enters at this point and says that's what he's been hearing all over town. As Pickles goes into the bathroom to take a typical old-man four-hour pee, Silas and Tara have a talk about the relationship we totally don't care about. He says he doesn't like to share, but she makes him admit that she's worth it (doubtful), and they make out, which Mary-Kate Olsen looks really bad at.