Episode Report Card Couch Baron: B+ | 9 USERS: A YOU GRADE IT Melrose Law
By Couch Baron | Season 1 | Episode 6 | Aired on 11.01.2004
Outside, Veronica tells Wallace that Keith wants to take her to the San Diego Zoo that weekend. Wallace thinks that sounds fun. After your experience in the pilot, Wallace, I'd think you'd have some empathy for animals who can't do anything but get gawked at by a bunch of slack-jawed yokels. Oh well. I never thought your learning curve was very steep anyway. Veronica complains that Keith has been going a little nuts with the father-daughter days. I guess he's trying to get it while the getting's good, until the next Icetwin comes on the scene. Ew. I'm not helping here, am I? Wallace mock-sadly tells Veronica that he'd love to go to the zoo with his dad, but that he can't, because his dad's dead. I hope this happened a long time ago, because otherwise his geniality seems a bit misplaced. Veronica apologizes, and then they notice as a girl makes a big show about getting a food delivery. Honey, you might want to play it a little cooler, considering how you just discovered Hot Topic and all. Some girl, who looks like Marcia Brady with pancake makeup and a cheerleader's uniform, and is also carrying two pizzas, snots up to Not! Topic and tells her she's "not allowed delivery." Not! Topic tells Makeup, Makeup, Makeup! that she's not allowed to breathe her air: "Go, shoo, return to Xanadu!" Not exactly Jane tackling a wedding-dress-clad Sydney into the Melrose Place pool, is it? Then again, what is? (It's nice to have an excuse to make Melrose references. Lucky Jessica.)
Makeup, Makeup, Makeup! goes and tattles to Miss Dent that "Wanda" just had food delivered, which is a problem because she doesn't have any "Pirate Points." At Miss Dent's bafflement, M,M,M! explains that Pirate Points are earned by being a "contributing member of the school," in other words, through activities such as Student Council, sports... Miss Dent raises an eyebrow and asks, "Cheerleading?" M,M,M!: "Is a sport." Miss Dent has clearly never seen Bring It On. And, as such, is dead to me. M,M,M! goes and tattles to Vice-Principal Clemens, and they go confront Wanda, who's sitting with Felix. Clemens tells her that he'll have to confiscate the food. Wanda reacts by going over to M,M,M!, hopping up on her table, and planting each of her boots square in a pizza. M,M,M! freaks. I don't know what she's so upset about. I'm sure her index finger could use the break, if you take my meaning. Clemens summons Wanda to his office. We flash over to Wallace, who's impressed. Veronica tells Wallace Wanda's name, and says they used to be in pep squad together. Which makes me wonder, since they're both now outcasts with that group, why they're not already friends. Then again, Wanda's got something Veronica lacks. It's what our country's fearless leader might term "poserosity."