Episode Report Card Joe R: B+ | 2 USERS: A+ YOU GRADE IT Release The Hounds
By Joe R | Season 3 | Episode 9 | Aired on 2007.10.08
Out in the woods, a dog comes upon Dean's still-conscious and still-immobile body. And...pees on his face. Man, what did Dean ever do to deserve that?
Elsewhere, Celia's reading the paper; the headline reads "Majestic Swallows Agrestic," so I guess the referendum passed? Sullivan gives her a necklace to thank her for her help. They start making out, and her phone rings. She doesn't want to answer it, but Sullivan picks it up and sees it's from "Belly." Okay, I know that nickname arises from Celia being mean to Isabelle in the first episode, but I think it's totally sweet that Celia has her in her phone as "Belly." Gives me hope for those two. So Celia answers the phone and has to tell Isabelle to stop crying about three times before she can understand what she's saying. Once she does, all she can do is sigh, "Son of a bitch."
Cut to the hospital, where Dean's in one of those neck brace things that makes it looks like you're in a magic trick and your head's in a box. He's also bandaged up on his arms and legs and he can't speak. Isabelle is a crying mess, and Celia tells her to "drop the Steel Magnolias bit." And then out pops Shane to grab Celia by her arms and tell Isabelle to knock her lights out. No, that didn't happen. Though that is the 100th time I've referenced that scene in that movie on this site, which I think makes me eligible for a prize. Or castration. Celia's like, "He's still breathing, isn't he?" Isabelle inquires as to why her mother's such a cunt. Rather than place the blame for that on the two other people in the room, Celia just tells her not to use foul language, lest people think she wasn't raised right. The doctor comes in and explains that Dean's going to live, thanks in part to the many animals who peed on him, inadvertently disinfecting his wounds. He will have to undergo several more surgeries and extensive rehab, but Celia's not at all down for that commitment. Isabelle points out that Dean has no one else, but Celia's still not budging and suggests that the state-funded institutions could help. Speaking of getting peed on by animals...
Doug gets prevented for accessing the Majestic golf club, despite his membership, because Sullivan's vengeful like that. Doug says he's not budging, no matter how many cars pile up behind him, so we cut to Doug's van getting towed, with Doug inside it. He pledges that "this," whatever it is, is not over.
"Teach him how to grow," says Nancy, to Conrad, re: Silas. And say what you will about the poor parenting decision to set your kid up with an apprenticeship at a grow house, but considering Conrad is by far the most positive male role model on the show, maybe this isn't the worst thing Nancy's done as a mother. Not even just this week. Of course, Conrad wants no part of it, not least because Silas is the "little fucker" who stole their stash and got them into all their trouble to begin with. Nancy's explicit about wanting Conrad to be a "mentor" and a "positive role model" for Silas, even though I'm pretty sure we in the audience could come to that conclusion on our own. Nancy tries to sweet-talk Conrad into it, but what eventually works is $10 an hour, which Conrad points out is on the cheap side of the current suburban babysitting market, so she tosses in a Rolex as well. "Go on," she says. "Make my boy your bitch." Conrad kind of likes the sound of that. Not in a creepy, rapey way. Just in a "Silas is gonna have to fucking work" way, which I think we can all get behind.