Episode Report Card Cindy McLennan: A | 3 USERS: A- YOU GRADE IT Friends Don't Let Friends Kill Matt
By Cindy McLennan | Season 4 | Episode 3 | Aired on 10.25.2012
We cut to a country road. Stefan and Elena are zipping down it on his motorcycle. Elena tries to get into it. At first she musters up the courage to stand on the back of the speeding bike. Next she does a handstand. It's all very cutesy, but in a sweet way, with genuine smiles. The green screen is annoying. 95 million people write to me, asking why vampires would bother wearing helmets, but my 13-year-old daughter beat them to the punch with that question, because we watched together. My fanwank: they don't want to attract the attention of the cops. Plus, the helmets make it easier to film the stunt doubles. Yes, her hair should be more windblown. Blah blee bloo. Elena's finally having a little fun being a vamp though, so let's give her that and move forward.
Hospital. Jeremy and Connor follow Meredith down the corridor. Her neck is bandaged, so clearly she's in on this setup. When she enters the supply room, Connor tells Jeremy to stay where he is. Inside the supply room, instead of Mere, Connor finds Damon. "Is a hospital really the place for a germaphobe?" Damon: "Did I say 'germaphobe'? Sorry, I meant vampire." As Connor draws his weapon, he's struck by two bomb-triggering arrows. Well I'm sorry, but what the heck am I supposed to call them? Connor's gun falls just out of reach. Or does it. He looks at the trigger wires and decides there's just enough slack to let him reach for the gun, but Klaus appears and kicks it out of reach as he says, "Hello, mate." Commercial.
Mossy Manse. Stefan and Elena are making out on Stefan's bed, clearly about to have vampire sex. It's rough and would probably be sexy, except I'm totally taken out of the moment, by Alex Clare's "Too Close" (you know the song; it's in that ubiquitous car commercial). This is the second time I can remember the show choosing a song that's prominently featured in an ad. Please stop that. Anyhow, as things heat up, Elena pictures Damon on top of her, rather than Stefan. She cries, "No," and throws off Stefan, who between this and the puking, is going to get a sexual inferiority complex. Elena shakes off the hallucination, but she doesn't feel well. She pulls up her sleeves, to see the same veiny mess Rebekah had all over her face -- the same ick that surrounded Rose's werewolf bite. Stefan puts two and two together. The hunter has venom. Elena must have been poisoned with it. Now, I'll just stop here, because it's the last point in this episode, during which I can breathe at a normal rate, and note that I think it strains credulity, that Connor could spike kegs -- and the right kegs -- the kegs going to Becky's party, and leave it at that.