Episode Report Card Keckler: A+ | Grade It Now! YOU GRADE IT Dullas Shittis
By Keckler | Season 2 | Episode 2 | Aired on 03.23.2000
Credits.
D'Argo awkwardly stumbles to his feet, insisting that he's fine. Crichton insists that he can't be fine after a geriatric rummaged around in his colon. Zhaan looks him over with a healing eye. D'Argo says they should leave now; Crichton agrees. Zhaan tells D'Argo he doesn't want to leave. Yes, he does, and so do I. Next episode! Zhaan whispers fiercely to Crichton that D'Argo has been humiliated. Crichton thinks D'Argo got off easy. Zhaan insists that as an Orican, a holy woman, she doesn't mean to harm D'Argo. Because holy people NEVER harm people. Which is what John says, actually. Damn. He needs to stop recapping this show. Although, if he wants to sub in for this episode, he's more than welcome. Crichton pointedly asks what Nilaam is doing out there all alone. Zhaan can't answer that. "Exactly, she could have been excommunicated. She could have been kicked out for putting her hands in other PEOPLE'S BUSINESS!" Crichton yells at the closed door. Heh. No matter how bad the episode, you can always count on a few giggles courtesy of Crichton. Especially when he yells. D'Argo tells Crichton that Nilaam's worthiness isn't in question, his is. Crichton yells some more that just because some ancient Luxan doesn't like the feel of his spleen, it doesn't mean she gets to call his friend a fraud. D'Argo shakes Crichton and says she called him a fraud because he's not a general. "Well, who said you were?!" Crichton demands angrily. D'Argo did. That's what the Ka before his name means. Also the tattoos on his chin wang. D'Argo explains that he never was really a Ka, he just pretended to be a Ka on the battlefield to save his real Ka and battalion from slaughter and then was captured as a Ka. Ka. Ka. Ka. Kaka. "But you saved the real general's ass, right? So tell me, what the hell is she bitching about?" Crichton demands. Zhaan agrees with Crichton, but she puts it more Zhaanishly: "Your fraud served a higher purpose. She has to see that." And tough noogies if she doesn't, claims Crichton. D'Argo agrees. "Good, then let's get back to Moya and heat up some Irish Coffees," Crichton says, slapping D'Argo on the back. Mmm, Irish Coffee. D'Argo insists on going and explaining himself to the Holy Intestine Groper.
As D'Argo re-enters Nilaam's bedroom, Nilaam complains that she didn't invite him back. D'Argo wishes to say something. "I could kill you where you stand," Nilaam mutters. No, only Glark can do that. Nonetheless, D'Argo wishes to tell her the truth about himself. He reminds her that Oricans are truth-seekers and she's not a true Orican if she doesn't listen to him. Nilaam, who has gotten out of bed and is hobbling around, chuckles, "I knew you had strength, I needed to know if you had FIRE!" Yep, D'Argo's a spunky one.