Episode Report Card Keckler: A+ | Grade It Now! YOU GRADE IT Dullas Shittis
By Keckler | Season 2 | Episode 2 | Aired on 03.23.2000
Crichton checks out Chiana's washerwoman legs. He knocks on the solid (solid as a rock!) amnexus fluid. DRDs crowd around inquisitively. Chiana announces that she can't feel her feet. Frustrated by her unsuccessful efforts to hack through with a pole, Aeryn muses, "I wonder if I have any grenades left." Heh. She walks off, leaving Chiana to bleat that Aeryn had to be kidding, right? "Well, with Aeryn... you never know," Crichton says. Exactly, but you always get good hair. Rygel sleepily joins them in a velvet dressing gown over pajamas -- I find it very odd that Rygel seems to have the same stripy blue pajamas I gave to my father for Christmas ten years ago -- and wants to know what the big fat emergency is. "How about breaches in the outer hull?" Crichton tells him. Rygel yawns and reminds them that the inner hulls are secure. "Yeah, but we need you to take your scooter out there in the tight spaces and check for weak spots," Crichton tells him. "Can't the DRDs do that?" Rygel whines. They can and are, but Rygel still needs to help out. "If I must, but you're worrying about nothing -- hull breaches are nearly unheard of on leviathans," Rygel notes. And then Pilot reports there's an inner hull breach. Something depresses in the wall of the chamber Chiana, Rygel, and Crichton are in. They scream and grab onto each other as decompression starts. Crichton yells at pilot to seal off the tier. As the DRDs fight to survive, a metal tool is blown through Moya's innards and into outer space. Crichton yells at Rygel to grab his hand. Rygel bellows, "Crichtooooon!" before his ass is blown into the hull breach. And stays. In essence, Rygel's fuzzy butt is the finger in the dyke. For now. Chiana comments that Rygel has finally made himself useful. Rygel gasps that he's stuck.
Pilot reports that decompression has stopped and asks what happened. "We got lucky -- Sparky's got a big ass," Crichton reports. Pilot's confused. "Butt. Hole. I'll explain later, Pilot," Crichton tells him and checks the hull around Rygel. He tells him he's a tight fit, as long as he doesn't move. Rygel struggles and oxygen fizzes. Crichton grabs Rygel's head (HANDS ON THE -- oh, who cares? I hate this episode.) and orders him not to move. Aeryn returns from checking Moya's hull where she saw some gaps and Rygel's backside. "And was I... intact?" Rygel asks, pleadingly. "You seemed to be all there but I can't say I looked too closely," Aeryn responds, raising a magnificent eyebrow. Were I a hair on that eyebrow that I might touch that... brow. Aeryn hands over something scabby and metallic and tells Crichton it's part of the largest hull hole, and it came off very easily in her hands. Crichton hopes it will help Zhaan figure out what's going on. Rygel struggles more. Crichton stops him. Chiana asks if he's trying to kill all of them now. Rygel says he can't help it, "I'm being crushed, I can't breathe." "Then... don't... BREATHE!" Crichton orders. Rygel whimpers. D'Argo and the Sexan arrive. "Who's that and why is she here?" Rygel demands, echoing Chiana's clearly upset thoughts. D'Argo introduces Sexan and says she's there to help. Help kill them all, maybe. Chiana's pissed. Sexan says she's there to heal the outer hull of the ship, and Rygel's all for that. "I thought you said she was ancient," Chiana hisses at Crichton. "I -- I know!" Crichton hisses back jerking his head around to say he will explain later. D'Argo closes his eyes as Sexan closes hers to apply some healing handjobs.