Episode Report Card Deborah: C | Grade It Now! YOU GRADE IT Boiling Point
By Deborah | Season 1 | Episode 15 | Aired on 02.12.2004
Breakfast time at the Girardis' house. Joan's making toast when Helen comes in with her hair in a sloppy updo and two chopsticks (with some dangly things on the ends) poked into it. Joan looks at it, points, and says, "Uh...no. Just -- no." Helen takes her 'do apart and frets, "I can't be your school's art teacher! I don't remember the name of a single pre-Raphaelite, I never got Miró, and I like Ingres, which is so...unsophisticated, and I don't know anything about the metallurgical backlash." Joan: "How do you think I feel?" Well, there's a reason teenagers aren't known for their empathy. Helen gives her a look, a mixture of "I was in labour for how long for this kid?" and "I suppose I have to be the bigger person here," and thanks her for listening. Joan: "Hey, you're lucky I'm such a nice person. I could totally throw down on this but I'm just letting it happen." Helen removes the kicky little scarf she's tied around her neck, saying, "I don't know why, but somehow that's comforting." Joan struggles with the toaster; Helen makes the toast pop up and Joan catches it in her hands and then drops it, because of course it's hot. Good hand-eye coordination, there. She asks her, "How'd you do that?" Will comes in and says, "You have a superstar mother, she can do anything. And she's gonna be brilliant today." He embraces her and they start kissing. Joan: "Ew! I'm trying to eat here. I thought we established the kitchen as a no-PDA zone." Man, what is with her discomfort with seeing her parents touch each other? It just seems a little excessive.
Kevin wheels in, and Will says, "There he is!" Kevin smiles, more pleased than embarrassed, and says, "I scored eight points, Dad." Helen kvells: "You were a-mazing!" Joan, sitting at the table with her back to Helen, says to the room in general, "Mom's gonna blow." And indeed, she bursts into tears. No one reacts much; Will hands her a napkin. She says it's just stress and a little of seeing Kevin having so much fun. Luke comes in and starts packing up his books. Joan: "Mom's crying." Helen says she's done. Luke says he's late, as Will asks, "How about your brother last night, huh?" Luke: "Awesome." Kevin: "How do you know, geek? You left after two minutes." Luke: "Yes, to participate in that, uh, rarest of high school rituals: the pursuit of knowledge." In Joan's direction: "You might want to try it sometime." Through a mouthful of food she asks, "Hey, what's with attacking the bystander?" Kevin says, "I want you to stay next time, Brain Boy!" He punctuates his words by punching Luke on the upper arm a couple of times -- kind of hard. Luke leaves, saying, "Yeah, I really missed the pummelling, Kev. Glad it's back." His parents both admonish Luke, but he's gone. Kevin: "I didn't hit him hard." Maybe the hittee is a better judge of that than you are. Joan: "Ha! We're a freak show." She gets up and says, "Bye," but as she's leaving, Kevin wheels up and intercepts her, forcing her onto his lap. She "oofs" and sort of laughs, saying, "That's old." Kevin: "You love it." She puts his arms around his neck and he wheels away with her, saying, "Knock 'em dead today, Mom." I'm glad he finally gets confronted about forcing his physicality on people in this episode. I've known people who are always grabbing, hitting, punching, shoving, et cetera, in so-called "playful" ways -- and I didn't like them. Keep your damn paws to yourself unless otherwise invited. Also: Amber Tamblyn has too much chemistry with everybody for the completely innocent sibling tomfoolery not to look at least a bit like something else. I'm just saying.