Episode Report Card Alex Richmond: D+ | Grade It Now! YOU GRADE IT Lost Lunch
By Alex Richmond | Season 7 | Episode 9 | Aired on 11.17.2002
Upstairs, Ruthie is met by SamVid, who tell her there's a boy throwing rocks at their window. Jake? No, "a new one," a "stranger." And "stranger, danger!" Jesus, beezus. Ruthie goes blindly to the window and sees a little boy with a mouthful of teeth and spiky blond hair. He's all, hey, are you still on "restriction"? Did I get the right window? Eric wanders up behind him, and Ruthie points at her father in a gesture of ultimate laziness, like, oh, ask him how much longer I'm on "restriction." Eric says "hmm," and the boy tells Ruthie he isn't sure. Eric asks the boy who he is. He's Peter, he lives down the street, he's in school with Ruthie, and he's also in "love" with her. What a fucked-up little boy. Eric tells Peter that Ruthie already has a boyfriend, and Peter says she can't see him because of the "restriction." He wants to make his move now. What a cunning, conniving, lovelorn little twelve-year-old. So very unreal.
Peter is all, "C'mon, Mr. Camden." Eric rolls this around for a while. "Mr. Camden. Misss-ter Camden, Mister Eric Camden." Peter steals my line and says he sure isn't Mrs. Camden. Please let that be the crisis of the week? Reverend Camden becomes la reverendina? Annie walks into the twins' room and asks what everyone is looking at. The new boy, who wants to come in and hang out. Annie says she's just the mother that has to say no sometimes, and that Ruthie is still on "restriction" for another week. Oh, and she's off to the pool hall now for some solo fun. Woo! Ruthie makes a snippy face at her mother. Oh, and twins? Get back into bed. They lie down and say goodnight, I love you. Wow, the twins don't even say "we" even though they speak in unison? Weird. As soon as Annie walks out, they're out of bed and back at the window.
Annie heads downstairs and meets Eric in the kitchen. Eric says that the new neighbor boy tuned him into a "new insight." Annie is all, did you notice I freshened my make-up and changed my clothes? Eric asks if that was a "trick question," and then says in a Monty Python-esque voice, "That's not my new hat, I'm wearing a gas mask!" Annie makes a "wha?" face, and Eric says never mind. Annie says she's going out to the pool hall, and would Eric like to tell her his new insight? Nah -- he'd rather mull it over in private. What a fucked-up family.
Phone! Ruthie answers it. Kevin asks a million questions about Lucy, including what she was wearing. Ruthie can't remember -- something "cowboy, or cowgirl, or cow-woman...jeans." "Cow-woman"? What, like an udder, or a huge bell? Ruthie gets that Lucy must be AWOL, but seems more into busting Kevin's covert ops than actually giving a shit that her sister is "missing." Kevin is all "gotta go," and hangs up. He actually says, "Let's roll." Simon and Cecilia silently groan, then slide off their seats with the enthusiasm usually reserved for trips to the dentist.