Episode Report Card Couch Baron: B | 283 USERS: B YOU GRADE IT White People Problems
By Couch Baron | Season 6 | Episode 5 | Aired on 2013.04.28
Don is sitting on his bed, and he looks so unsteady I'm surprised he hasn't been drinking straight out of that bottle on the nightstand instead of bothering with a glass. Megan enters, dressed in her nightgown, and after she tells him the kids are in bed, she's like, hey Drunky, how about letting me in on what's in your brain besides a BAC of somewhere over 2? She goes on that she didn't know what to say to Sally, but Don sighs that she's better with the kids than he is, and she doesn't understand. Megan: "I do. You don't have Marx; you've got a bottle." Don doesn't even acknowledge the burn, excellent though it was, so Megan sits with him and asks if "this" is what he wants to be to the kids when they need him. He admits that it isn't, and then takes a long moment before going on that he always wanted to be "the man who loves children." But he always faked it - from the moment the kids were born, he acted proud and excited, but he didn't feel anything. (He's using the second person, which adds to the effect, but it's easier to recap this way.) He goes on that his inability to love was exacerbated by his difficult childhood, and Megan looks concerned in a different way as he goes on, "You want to love them, but you don't. And the fact that you're faking that feeling makes you wonder if your own father had the same problem." It's been too long since Don's given us anything identifiable to work with, but this scene is the best he's offered in a long time precisely because the things he's saying are so difficult even to think, let alone to say. He goes on that suddenly, the kids are older and "you see them do something, and you feel that feeling that you were pretending to have. And it feels like your heart is going to explode." Is he that proud that Bobby bought Milk Duds all by himself? More seriously, if I were Megan, I'd wonder if this genuine feeling of love makes Don's infatuation with her pale in comparison, but I suppose it's a good sign overall for him to feel something human, and she puts a comforting arm around him. I feel you on the tender moment, Megan, but you might also want to get him some Alka-Seltzer.
Pete answers the door for an Asian deliveryman and tries to chat him up a bit about the situation outside, only to realize that the guy doesn't understand a word he's saying. Inside, he looks super-bummed, but it's his fault for not ordering fish and chips.