Episode Report Card Joe R: B+ | 0 USERS: N/A YOU GRADE IT Protection
By Joe R | Season 3 | Episode 14 | Aired on 2007.11.12
Elsewhere (the next day, we'll assume), Celia's at the bank trying to deposit $15,000 in cash. Oh, Celia. Of course, when the bank teller hands her forms to fill out so this unusually large batch of cash can be reported to both the IRS and the bank's internal records, Celia's like, "Perhaps I counted wrong," and she beats a hasty retreat.
Somewhere else in Majestic, Sullivan gets a voice-distorted phone call demanding that Sullivan "make good on certain promises to certain people" if he ever wants to see his gaudy light-up cross again. Unfortunately for Doug, his voice modulator stops working halfway through the conversation. And, you know, I'm not even sure what Doug wants out of Sullivan anymore? A seat on the Majestic city council? A house like Celia got? Doug's righteous anger is just kind of shooting out in all directions without a purpose these days. I normally never advise this, but maybe Doug needs to find Jesus.
At the grow house, we see that Celia needs to ring the bell on her own home to get access from Heylia. She notices the gaudy light-up cross currently helping the new batch of crops to grow and is like, "Of course!" Meanwhile, I'm doing a little dance in my chair because they're actually making a go of this whole Heylia/Celia friendship thing. Awesome. Celia needs to know what to do with her giant wads of cash that she can't deposit. Heylia isn't too keen on "training another white girl in the ways of the drug business," so Celia pulls the "I'm your landlord" card. So Heylia starts doing what she does best: telling people how to live. God love that woman. She tells Celia to first take 20% off the top for her emergency money and hide it somewhere around the house, "furniture cushions, floorboards, up your snatch if you got it." As for the other 80%? She should start a cover business (hey, what about a coffee shop?). In fact, she should find a disreputable accountant and let them figure something out for her. Having dispensed all her advice, Heylia would like to be left alone to her reading, but Celia has one more question: "You ever get scared? ...Getting caught?" Heylia says Celia needs to put those kinds of thoughts right out of her mind. "It's like flying. Sure, the plane might crash, but you gotta get to where you're going fast, so in the end, it's worth the risk." Oddly enough, Heylia's making me feel more comfortable about going into the drug business and less comfortable about flying. Celia seems to like the advice, though, because she hugs Heylia (!) and tells her they're going to be friends (!!). Seriously, it's all my dreams for this show coming true. Weirdly, Heylia doesn't seem to share my (or Celia's) enthusiasm.