Episode Report Card Gustave: B+ | Grade It Now! YOU GRADE IT Guess Who's Coming To Breakfast?
By Gustave | Season 1 | Episode 8 | Aired on 01.14.2002
The time is 7:15:43 AM. Klockwise from the top left, Palmer and Lady MacPalmer ride in their limo to the breakfast, Kiefer drives the Terror Taurus to the breakfast, FauxMartin mingles at the breakfast, and Spawn and Bride are reunited 'cause it feels so good. And it's still good even after the commercial. You know how in those soft-core porn films on Cinemax, there's the obligatory lesbo scene where the sexy older female professor seduces her nubile young student by inviting her to discuss her thesis over a female bonding dinner, which soon turns into a wine-inspired mutual confession of past loves and long buried curiosities, leading to tender caresses and finally a candle-lit Sapphic romp that lasts until the golden hue of the morning sun? Well, imagine that with some hay and no actual nudity or lesbianism and you've got the visual gist of this next scene. Bride holds Spawn and caresses her hair as Spawn pours her heart out about the evil frat boys. "PMMS was hit by a car," says Spawn. "I know," says Bride, brushing a tendril of blonde hair away from Spawn's eyes. Spawn looks like she's going to ask how Bride knows about all of this and how PMMS is doing, but stops herself. Bride comforts her again, assuring her that everything will be all right.
Speaking of uninhibited sensual women in agricultural settings, Nina finds what looks like an abandoned grain storage facility, and kicks in the door like it's no big deal when no one answers her knock. I love her! Miraculously, the farm phone still works. She calls Jalapeno, who has stepped away from her desk, or could simply be at her third desk since Nina left the office, for all we know. The phone rings at the old Jalapeno desk that is attached to Soul Patch's desk. Soul Patch even looks out over the pierced aluminum cubicle divider, watching Jalapeno's black phone from the MOMA catalog ring unanswered. When Nina gets Jalapeno's voicemail, she hangs up and rings Soul Patch's desk. Soul Patch, who is obviously miffed that he was Nina's second choice, gives her the third degree about where she is and what's going on. Nina kuts him off and kommands him not to let anyone at CTU to know she's alive. Soul Patch wants more of an explanation, but Nina asks him to summon Jalapeno to the phone. He walks over to her second desk, where Milo is showing her the fake keycard and asking her where Nina is. "Nina won't be back for a couple of hours," says Jalapeno, just as Soul Patch arrives at her desk. Soul Patch asks her how she knows when Nina will be back. Jalapeno, carrying out Gaines's order that she think of an excuse for Nina's absence, claims to have talked to Nina a "couple of minutes ago." Soul Patch changes his mind about putting Jamey on the phone, and tells Nina about Jalapeno's lie. Nina realizes that Jamey is the mole. "We can't trust Jamey!" she says desperately to Soul Patch. She gives Soul Patch some sketchy details about Kiefer being watched. Soul Patch sends a car to pick her up at the grain warehouse.
Speaking of chauffeured cars with desperate women inside, Palmer's limousine arrives at the power plant. Lord and Lady MacPalmer enter the building through the freight entrance amid a sea of officious-looking well-wishers and security people. There's a great tracking shot of Lady MacPalmer posing for photos and keeping it together as the freight elevator closes its doors on the Palmer entourage.