Episode Report Card Gustave: B | 1 USERS: A+ YOU GRADE IT Goodbye Darlene, hello Nina!
By Gustave | Season 2 | Episode 5 | Aired on 11.25.2002
Back at Chez Crew, PoorMan'sReneeZellweger is finished trying on the dress, and brags that it will fit perfectly if she skips lunch. Cate tries to keep her away from the dining room door, but she can't. PoorMan'sReneeZellweger sees HandsomeBlackAgentDuJour, demands to know where her fiancé is, and has a temper tantrum. She even uses the old "this is my house" line on HBADJ. Jeez, I'm surprised she didn't just whip out a gun and shoot him. She could totally get away with it. They have vast supplies of these expendable black men back at the base. Cate manages to pull her away from the door, and explains to her about the background check she did on Reza and how that led to a visit from CTU and the interrogation et cetera. PoorMan'sReneeZellweger is appalled that Cate had Reza investigated behind her back. Papa Crew tries, unsuccessfully, to calm her down, and Cate tries to apologize, but PoorMan'sReneeZellweger's mind is made up: Cate is no longer invited to the wedding. Are we supposed to care? The time is 12:50:13 PM.
The time is 12:54:51 PM. Back at the hospital parking lot where Spawn is waiting, Miguel arrives in a cab. He is wearing an Antique Boutique ensemble of a toffee-colored pleather jacket and a seventies-style polyester shirt. Spawn bitches him out for not bringing his car, which Miguel has lent to a friend of his. Miguel says that they can just "take a cab." Spawn doesn't think so. She tells Miguel about her morning: the bashing of JonBenet, the kidnapping charges being brought against Spawn, and so on. Miguel tries to talk her out of getting involved, but Spawn's boobs -- plus the news of a nuclear device threatening to destroy L.A. that very day -- convince Miguel to cooperate.
Back at CTU, Mason enters Ye Olde Kiefer Kube to find Kiefer himself sitting at his desk. The jig is up. Kiefer knows that Mason inhaled plutonium and has days, if not hours, to live. "I'm not the only person who shouldn't be here today," intones Kiefer's solemn velvety bedroom whisper. Kiefer threatens to call Division and tell them about Mason's illness if he doesn't let him interrogate Nina himself. Mason reluctantly agrees. Oh yeah, like that wasn't going to happen.
NSA. Palmer turns on the news to find that the Fauxraqi ambassador and intelligence officer were killed in a helicopter crash on their way back to Fauxraqistan to confer with the Prime Minister. Dun dun dun! The screen splits to show Palmer's reaction, FarsiBoy getting angry with Soul Patch, and Spawn sneaking her boobs and her boyfriend into the hospital. Meanwhile, Kiefer approaches the video screens set up to tape Nina's interrogation. He stares at Nina's face over the monitor. Nina looks right back at him. Wait, she can't see him from the interrogation room. Can she? Can she??!! The time is 12:59:58…12:59:59…1:00:00 PM.