Episode Report Card Keckler: B- | Grade It Now! YOU GRADE IT Starship Mine
By Keckler | Season 2 | Episode 3 | Aired on 10.01.2002
"Ever see a ship like that?" Quantum asks T'Pol. She hasn't. Quantum wonders why their fancy-schmancy grappling-arm beacon didn't allow them to see through their cloak. "Perhaps the mines use a more primitive cloaking-system," T'Pol comments, clearly a bit bugged that he was stupid enough to ask a question that had an answer so obvious even May-who would have known it. The alien ship hails them, but because Hoshi's tongue isn't there to help them, it's all gibberish to them. I'm thinking that with their fancy cloaking device, the magical mystery ship is more advanced than they are, so if they sent a message back in English, their Universal Translator should be able to deal with it. Speaking of massive head injuries, Quantum comms Sickbay to find out if Hoshi's in any condition to return to her post. "I'm afraid not. She suffered a rather severe concussion," Phlox reports, measuring out powders. In the background, Hoshi struggles to sit up and says, "Tell him I'm on my way." Phlox tut-tuts her and makes her lie down again.
Bridge. T'Pol struggles to decipher what the mystery ship is saying, and May-waste reports that the ship is charging their weapons. Trip looks nervous. The ship fires, purposely missing Enterprise. May-waste tells the Bridge how close the shots came. "Not a very subtle warning shot," Quantum furrows. Another shot is fired, seeming to zip by Reed's head as he futzes with the mine. "Warning shots?" More like You Better Get Out of Our Face And Now shots. Quantum wants to know if May-waste can get them out of there. "The orbits of those mines are pretty erratic, sir," May-waste reports, transfixed by the viewscreen. "It's going to be tricky." "We'll give you whatever help we can," Quantum blurts out and scurries back to his chair. Weird choice by Bakula to deliver his line that way -- with such a raised and impatient voice. I would think that if you're about to have your out-of-practice chauffeur navigate through a minefield, soothing tones and lavender incense might be more the ticket than shouting at him. And what kind of "help" does he see the rest of the Bridge crew giving? Picking up pom-poms and jumping around? "Travis! Travis! He's our man! If he can't do it, it doesn't matter because no one knows who he is anyway!" Quantum comms Reed that they are going to break orbit to get away from the magical mystery ship. "Understood. If you plan to go to warp, sir, you'll let me know," Reed requests. Heh. "I'll try to remember," Quantum tells him. Ugh. They ruined a perfectly martini-dry Brit-line with Quantum's American meat-fished response. Quantum gives some orders to May-waste. "Aye, sir," May-waste acknowledges and pushes some buttons so a joystick moves closer to him. Nice touch. They activate the beacon so they can see all the mines in the field ahead of them and start to leave orbit. The trailing mystery ship shimmer-shudders out of sight. "Our friends just vanished," Reed reports. Is he just bored up there? He knows the Bridge can see what the ship is doing, so why does he feel the need to report on it? Quantum tells Reed, "That doesn't mean they're not still close." May-waste grips the joystick with intense concentration and pilots them through Space Invaders. Tense silence on the Bridge for a bit, until Reed breaks in to report that he's identified some stuff on the mine, which should be of some disabling use. "But to be honest, Captain, it's only a theory," Reed avers. "How...goodatheory?" Quantum demands, jumping to his feet. Reed talks about his prowess in disabling other similar explosive devices and reports that he "thinks" he can do it.