Episode Report Card Pamie: C+ | Grade It Now! YOU GRADE IT She Bop, He Bop a-We Bop
By Pamie | Season 5 | Episode 5 | Aired on 10.18.2004
Emily tells Sarah that she'll answer the door. It's Lorelai, apologizing for being late. She stops her rehearsed excuse when she sees a large, white box in Emily's living room. Gosh, Emily's house is dark. It's a panic room. "Like Jodie Foster?" Lorelai asks, much to the confusion of Emily. It's so small. Emily says it's for one person, maybe two. "It's primarily for me," Emily says. The panic room was supposed to go upstairs, as panic rooms should, but the movers didn't know there were going to be stairs, so they left the large refrigerator-like object at the bottom of Emily's staircase, pretty much in the foyer. Lorelai asks if they can test it out. "I'm gonna get you!" she says to Emily, wiggling her fingers in her mother's face. "You better get in there because I'm menacing! Aaagh!" Emily says there's nothing funny about it. The doorbell rings and Lorelai gasps. "Get in there! Quick! Quick!"
Emily opens the door for Rory, who immediately sees the panic room. "Hey, what's that?" Lorelai poses in front of the panic room like a game-show hostess: "I know how to protect you from shrapnel and Agent Orange! Ask me how!" Emily tells Rory it's a panic room. "Like Jodie Foster?" she asks. Emily doesn't see how Jodie Foster has to do with all of this. Lorelai tells Rory to get one for her dorm room. Emily says it's not a bad idea, since the panic room will stop a .9 mm shell. "Mmm," Lorelai says. "Handy for when Suge Knight comes for tea." Emily says it's time for drinks, and tells them to forget about the panic room. She takes their drink orders, but the cart Richard has left her with has no booze at all. Even their minister had to go without his whiskey sour the other night. She has vermouth, but no gin. Emily tells Sarah to check everywhere for gin. "Including the bathtub," Lorelai adds. Emily says the main reason she bought the panic room was that she's a woman living alone. Lorelai points out that she wasn't the one to bring up the panic room. Emily says she's never lived alone. She went from her parents' house to college to Richard. Rory says that Richard's just in the poolhouse, so she's really not alone. Emily thinks that he might as well be a million miles away: "I don't even know if your grandfather would look up from his stamp collection if he heard me scream." Rory says that's not true, but Lorelai says it could happen if Richard had his nose stuck to a stamp. Emily says Richard barely remembered to tell her he was leaving on a business trip. Rory says that telling her at all meant that he wanted to tell her, and that she's not an afterthought to him: "That's a thought. A very thoughtful thought." Sarah can't find gin anywhere, and offers to check the bathtub. Emily scolds Lorelai for joking with the maids and tells Sarah to try Richard's study. Rory says her mother doesn't need a drink anyway. Sarah comes back, flustered that Richard's door is locked. Emily is incensed that her husband locked his study: "I'm not going to let Richard's business trip keep you from having the drink you want." She grabs a set of spare keys and heads to the poolhouse, Lorelai and Rory in tow. Ooh, my soup is ready. Rainy days make recapping a very difficult chore. I'd much rather read a book.