Episode Report Card Strega: B- | 1 USERS: B- YOU GRADE IT The Muppet Masters
By Strega | Season 2 | Episode 14 | Aired on 2000.08.11
The transport pod returns to Moya. Cut to Chiana wheeling a barrel-shaped thing, draped in a metallic sheet, into the maintenance bay as she announces that their parasite problem is solved. Aeryn says, "Rygel's decided to leave us, then, has he?" Hey, Aeryn made a joke! Alert the media! And it's a funnier joke than even she knows, given the later revelations. Aeryn points out that they're not even sure they have an infestation. Chiana says, "That's what this little guy will tell us," and unveils her cargo. Cross E.T. with Yoda, and you're getting warm. Add a hint of the baby from It's Alive and you've got it. Ugh. The ugly critter stands and peers out of its cage. Chiana identifies it as a Vorc. And that's why for three days I had the Swedish Chef in my head singing. "Vorc Vorc Vorc!" By day two, I'd have traded that for Scorpius. D'Argo says, "We had some problems with our translator microbes and the local merchants" -- and that by itself should start a general panic -- "but from what we can gather, this little fellow hones in on one specific parasite, and eradicates it." Chiana is holding the Vorc now, and it reaches one puppety hand out as she repeats a story about a parasite that killed 200 people aboard one ship, leaving behind nothing but cocoons. And people still trade with this place? I guess whatever they have to offer is really, really tasty. Maybe it's the Uncharted Territory's version of fugu. Aeryn very reasonably says that if the danger is that great, they should dump the food they picked up. Chiana says, "When you see what this little fella can do --" and is interrupted when the Vorc squeals and releases a stream of piss upon D'Argo. D'Argo takes a second to realize what's happening, and then moans in disgust. Chiana drops the Vorc, who squeaks and skitters off behind some equipment. Aeryn dryly notes, "Yeah, that's impressive."
The camera swoops into the corridor, where the sparkly ball Crichton was playing with rolls across the floor. Crichton strolls in after it, carrying a very long pole with a funky thing on the end. I can't tell if it's a weapon or a tool or what. Crichton reenacts Caddyshack, saying, "He's a Cinderella boy." The ball is, improbably, spinning in place as Crichton approaches and does some color commentary about how "this is a big chance for the kid from the Uncharted Territories." He prepares to putt the ball and hears a snarl from behind a grating. Crichton asks, "Sparky?" Another growl, and he ducks down to peer through the grating as he calls Rygel. Nothing happens for a second, and then that samurai robot thing from Brazil leans into the camera and bellows angrily. Crichton jumps back and fires through the grating a few times. The grate is knocked in, and Crichton peers down the empty space.