Episode Report Card Sars: C | Grade It Now! YOU GRADE IT Have yourseeeeeelf a greeeeeeeeeasy little Christmaaaaaaas
By Sars | Season 4 | Episode 9 | Aired on 11.28.2000
Leery holiday party. The college counselor comes out to the porch to praise Jen: "Your essays were wonderful." She adds that Jen should "be very proud of" herself. Jen is confused: "What…did I do, exactly?" She turned her applications in on time, apparently. The college counselor takes her leave. Jen knits her brow.
Worthington party. At dinner, Mr. Kubelik says that Joey hasn't said much; Joey blushes that she's "just soaking it all in [sic], I guess." Mr. K urges her to tell them a little about herself. Pacey shoots her an expectant look, as does NLNC, who clearly hopes that Joey will now put her foot in it. Joey stammers that there's not much to tell and she's just "your average teen-age girl." Mr. K says he's seen her application, and he disagrees with that assessment; the writers finally board the continuity train as Mr. K remembers "a certain fondness for art" and asks if Joey's seen the new Guggenheim. "No, but I've always wanted to go to New York," Joey says, thinking she's dodged a bullet, but after a quick shot of NLNC smirking victoriously, Drue enters the frame to fill her water glass and sneer that the new Guggenheim is actually in Bilbao, Spain. "Which isn't important," Mr. K says quickly, and he goes on to describe the "architectural epiphany" of the building itself. Joey nods and smiles politely, but she's obviously mortified. Pacey observes casually that, if you ask him, "the thing just looks like a big artichoke." Hee! It kind of does look like an artichoke from certain angles. Joey stares at Pacey in frank horror. NLNC stops chewing. Pacey also stops chewing: "What? I'm serious, it does." "You've been?" Mr. K asks. Pacey says no, but Doug is an "architecture buff" who has lots of coffee-table art books, so Pacey has seen all the pictures, and it looks like a big artichoke to him. Mr. K starts giggling and says that Pacey's right, it does look like a big artichoke. Pacey beams. Everyone else at the table laughs along. Joey looks ill.
Leery party. Dawson broods outside. Mr. Brooks hails him, commenting on the "shindig" that's going on inside. Dawson grudgingly invites him in, but Mr. Brooks says he's "not much for crowds." Dawson isn't surprised, and asks if there's something he can do for Mr. Brooks. Mr. Brooks hands him Kiss Kiss Bang Bang by Pauline Kael, whom he calls "the best film critic ever was," and I'd have to agree. Mr. Brooks adds that Kael can say it a lot better than he ever could. "Says what?" "Why," Mr. Brooks says -- why he lived for Saturdays at the Rialto, why he hopped a train for LA as soon as he could after high school, why he nearly cried the first time he set foot on a studio lot, why he did cry the first time he yelled "Action!" Then he apologizes for snapping at Dawson. I light a candle for the beginning of the end of Mr. Brooks as Mr. Brooks adds that Dawson "scratch[ed] an open wound" that hasn't healed yet. "Which is none of my business," Dawson says. Correct! But no, Mr. Brooks isn't finished, and he begins a tale of Louis B. Mayer calling him into his office in 1956 and telling him that he had a "brilliant idea" -- casting Mr. Brooks's best friend and Mr. Brooks's girlfriend in Mr. Brooks's next picture, Turn Away, My Sweet. Ohhhhhh, no. No, no, no, no, no, no, NO.