Episode Report Card Aaron: B+ | Grade It Now! YOU GRADE IT Give me Lauren or give me death
By Aaron | Season 1 | Episode 6 | Aired on 07.07.2001
Now we see David in The White Van Of Overly Intrusive Dream Sequence. A throbbing techno beat plays as he watches two men walk in front of him, kissing and fondling one another for his benefit. The guy on the right looks suspiciously like Timothy Dalton, who must really be hurting for post-Bond work these days. Fade to white.
Fade back in on Gripey Guy, griping to Federico in the kid's contractually required scene-of-the-week. Mr. Cobbs claims that the corpse of his wife is in fact not his wife, but when Federico insists that it is, Bill quickly switches to wisdom mode. "We all die," says Federico. "Doesn't that piss you off?" asks Bill, and which Rico replies, as I would, "Not yet."
In The Room, Nate and Brenda come and go, talking of The Late Nate, you know. They're speculating on what Dad might have done in the room, and Nate is completely unsatisfied with Brenda Zen-style instructions to just not care. "Come on, don't you pick up on something? I thought things left marks in people and places and time," he asks. "What, you think I'm a witch?" wonders Brenda. Change one of the letters, and I could agree to that. Nate sags down into the chair and wonders about the mystery that was The Late Nate. "When I die," he sighs, "I don't want to be somebody who nobody knows who I was." "So don't be," she tells him. You know, it's precisely that attitude that's responsible for all the people in this world who are willing to debase themselves through appearances on Jerry Springer or Chains of Love or whatever, so maybe that's not the best advice.
Back at the Fortress, Ruth gets her turn with Gripey Guy. Before he can gripe too much, Nikolai The Flower Guy arrives with the flowers for Hattie's funeral. After placing them beside the coffin, he just stares at Ruth until she agrees to see him out. Once they get into the lobby, Mom quickly tears into him. "I don’t know what you think you're doing, but I'm going to have to ask my sons to order flowers from someone else if this behavior continues…there are grieving people here. I can't have skulking around with that look in your eye…that sex look. That big, black sex look." Again, see if you can guess which part I made up. Nikolai, who was kinda leering at her back there, plays innocent, and receives a patented Ruth Fisher backhand across the face for his troubles. He rubs his jaw and smiles as he walks away, leaving Ruth to notice that Gripey Guy has witnessed the entire scene. Now would also be a good time to point out that Ruth is wearing a bright red shirt. You know, a "Russian color." Mr. Cobbs points out that she wouldn't be wearing that shirt if she didn't want to be noticed, but Mom insists that it's "just what was clean." "Lady, I can see it from here," says Mr. Cobbs, "and I'm blind and deaf. You need to get yourself laid." And truer words have never been spoken, my friend.