Episode Report Card Demian: B+ | Grade It Now! YOU GRADE IT Ow! Quit it. Ow! Quit it.
By Demian | Season 1 | Episode 8 | Aired on 11.24.1998
Attic. Prue dispiritedly leafs through the section entitled "Demons" in the Book before slamming it shut in frustration, muttering, "I don't even know what I'm looking for." As she mopes towards the attic door, The Invisible Spectral Presence Of Grams lines up the Theme Mallet and whacks the Book open to "The Truth Spell," which reads as follows:
For those who want the truth revealed,
Opened hearts, and secrets unsealed
From now until it's now again,
After which the memory ends:
Those who now are in this house
Will hear the truth from other's mouths.
The words are accompanied by a watercolor of a robed figure who I think is meant to be some sort of seer. I can't be entirely certain, because the figure looks like an enormous pink maggot with alarming dorsal fins and a glowy head. This being Prue's first encounter with the meddling ISP Of Grams, she warily picks her way back across the floor to the Book to stare suspiciously at the page. She flips back over to the Demon section, but the ISP Of Grams insistently flips right back to the truth spell. Prue squints with annoyance, shuts the Book once more, and stomps out of the room. The ISP Of Grams snidely hacks the Book open to the spell once more.
[72virg=ins]. Amid a throng of conventioneers in the bar area, Piper attempts to finagle more tablecloths from a supplier over the phone. An oaf of a suit spills a glass of red wine all over her accounts just as Piper's boss swishes over in a snit. The swish is played by Jason Stuart, a comedian familiar to some gay and lesbian audiences primarily for his appearance in one of Comedy Central's Out There stand-up cavalcades way back in the early nineties. In keeping with this evening's Theme Mallet, let me announce that the boy has aged as well as his routine, which is to say not very well at all. Still, I've been wondering where all of the actual gay people have been hiding on this show, and now I have one. And he's prissy, lisping, uptight, bloated, snippy, passive-aggressive, and Rude To Piper. Joy. He blows attitude at her about making supplier calls from the bar instead of the office, and berates her for allowing the restaurant to descend into "chaos" while he was away. Piper stutters and stammers and tries to screw her courage to the sticking place to confront him, but alas, her courage is all fucked out. Piper sighs in frustration as Jason Stuart, Professional Homosexual makes a grand, sweeping exit.
Buckland's. Prue gazes mournfully at a framed photo of herself and Andy as the Feebs comes a-knocking at the office door. The flimsy pretext of Phoebe's visit is to borrow Prue's laptop to research this week's dark demonic force on the internet. Prue snarks something about Phoebe being the least "computer-friendly" person she knows, but hands over the machine nonetheless. Prue then asks if Phoebe's spoken with Andy about the murder. Phoebe hasn't, but she did assault Darryl for some information. Apparently, every detective in the precinct is buzzing about the case, and I am forced to believe that it must be a pretty slow week for those entrusted with the care and protection of the residents of San Francisco. One lousy parking garage murder, and it's tying up an entire precinct? Please. We just had an angry mob stone two drunk movers to death here in Chicago, and it didn't take more than a handful of cops to crack that case. Whatever. Prue clearly has other things on her mind, and is using the current demonic infiltration to pump Phoebe for information on the erstwhile boyfriend. Phoebe admits that while she didn't actually speak with Andy, she did see him in the parking lot. "He had that look, Prue. You know the one I'm talking about -- you might recognize it from the mirror." Phoebe counsels Prue to be honest with Andy about the whole bitchcraft thing so that they can resume their relationship. Prue settles bleakly into her chair and insists that that's not possible. "What if he can't handle it?" she asks. "It's not like I can put the genie back in the bottle." Um. Yes, you can, and you'd know this if you'd actually read the spell I took the time to transcribe above. For shame. I expect better of you, Prue. Phoebe reminds Prue that Andy's "not about to call the warlock police" on any of them, and urges Prue to figure out a way to let him in on the family secret. Perhaps realizing she should go no further than that at this point, she smiles gently, thanks Prue for the use of the computer, and leaves.