Episode Report Card Keckler: C- | 1097 USERS: B YOU GRADE IT It's So Hard to Say Goodbye to YesterTrek
By Keckler | Season 4 | Episode 22 | Aired on 2005.05.13
Quantum's Ready Room. Shran left the Imperial Guard because he had a family to protect and keep out of harm's way. "I was a fool," he laments in front of Quantum's WOTWW (aw, bye-bye, glass partition of Quantum's Weltschmerz!). Shran faked his own death to get away from some poorly chosen friends. These poorly chosen friends think he took something from him, so Shran made himself disappear. Unfortunately, these poorly chosen friends found him and took his daughter in the middle of the night while he slept in the next room. He must've taken Excedrin PM. "It's been a week," Shran continues, "they say if I don't return what's theirs, they'll kill her." "Then give them what they want," Quantum urges. Oh, give them what they want! Gee, I'm sure he never thought of that! Thank you, Quantum -- it was certainly worth Shran coming all this way and out of hiding to receive such precious counsel as that from you! Wow, you are a god. Now go be a silent deity. Shran says he doesn't have what they want and he never did. Now he's spent all his resources to find her: "They're on a trading outpost -- Rigel X." Quantum says he's familiar with the place that has The Heavy Link Chains of Ill Portent and The Trash-Can Fires of Dodginess. Shran needs the help of seven good men and true. Quantum furrows. Oh, furrows, I think I'll miss you most of all! NOOOOOT! Riker's been sitting in a chair in a corner this whole time, observing the scene.
Quantum has a hard time convincing T'Pol they should help Shran. Luckily, they've brought back his Water Polo Ball of Persuasion to help him in this matter. T'Pol doesn't trust Shran. "You don't trust Andorians, you never have," Quantum says, bouncing his Water Polo Ball of Persuasion against the wall. You know, it drives me nuts when people do stuff like that. I get all edgy because I think they're going to hit an odd angle and I'm going to get smacked in the face. Plus, it's just rude. "Thank god the Vulcan Council is a little more enlightened than you are!" Quantum continues. Scott, Scott, SCOTT -- I look at you and I'm like, "God, you're HOT," then I listen to you and I'm like, "God, SHUT UP!" Quantum goes on with his convincing and adds, "When we met ten years ago, I didn't trust you. For that matter, I didn't trust any Vulcans -- you helped me get past that, remember? I listened to you and now it's your turn to listen to me -- I can't turn my back on him, T'Pol. Try to understand." T'Pol will try. Before she leaves, Quantum tells her to drop by the galley when she has a moment. "Chef's trying to come up with a menu for our last dinner together -- he wants to know everybody's favorite dish," Quantum explains. "There are eighty-three crewmembers aboard," T'Pol says. I'm sorry, but it's been ten years and the chef doesn't know everyone's favorite dish? He's not a very good. Hell, when we go to Alamo Seafood Grill, they know exactly what we like, right down to how we prefer our fish cooked or how much cassis to put in our Kir Royales. And guess what? We've only been going there for two years. Quantum tells her to just go see him. T'Pol leaves. A larger and slightly-whiter-about-the-nose Porthos jumps up on the bed. Quantum tousles his ears, saying, "Don't worry, Chef's promised at least six kinds of cheese." And for dessert, Porthos gets to spend the next week in sickbay! After the ship gets decommissioned, Porthos is taking a new assignment. With Poppadum and Hunca Munca. They're going to seek out and explore new pigeons.