Episode Report Card Wing Chun: B- | 1 USERS: C- YOU GRADE IT Mrs. Botwin's Neighborhood
By Wing Chun | Season 2 | Episode 5 | Aired on 09.10.2006
Once Sanjay's gone, Andy turns the TV to 34 and settles down with a bowl. But before he can get it lit, we can hear sirens, and Sanjay darts back inside, breathlessly saying that there are cops everywhere: "It's a raid!" Andy springs into action, saying that they need to get rid of everything. The first stop: hiding all the plants. He orders Sanjay to turn the lights on. Sanjay says that it'll screw up the plants' growing cycle, and that Conrad said never to turn the lights on. "Fuck Conrad!" shrieks Andy. The lights come on, and are, of course, WAY too bright. He starts tearing plants out of pots, and races to the bathroom to try to flush them. He orders Sanjay to carry on, and says that he has to save the mother. And then, pretty much, that's what happens. Except for how the plants won't flush. Sanjay prays over the toilet, which does not stop the bowl from overflowing. Andy locates the plant, pulls it out of its pot, and heads for a closet, but Sanjay beats him to it, leaping inside to hide. These people need to go to ready.gov and come up with an emergency plan.
Morning at Nancy's. Botwins, minus Andy, eat cereal. After a long silence, Shane says that they had a pregnant hamster at school last year. Silas visibly wilts. Shane adds that Denny Corwin stuck a pencil up its butt and later it had dead babies: "It's kind of like an abortion." There's uncomfortable silence for a few moments, and then Silas huffs, "Fuck you. It wasn't a hamster." He stalks off. After another few moments, Nancy tells Shane she doesn't want him playing with Denny Corwin anymore. Heh.
Nancy sends Shane off to get ready for school, and once he's gone, the phone rings. She picks up, and on the other end, it's Peter, telling her he has a gift for her, and she should turn on Channel 8. Nancy obliges, just in time to see a news package on the raids of...every other grow house in her neighbourhood, including b-roll of Peter arresting Keshisyan. Nancy goggles. The reporter on the scene says that Agent Peter Scottson of the DEA led the raids, and turns to interview him. This part is live, and Peter takes his phone away from his ear to speak to the reporter. Nancy laughs in delighted disbelief. Peter somewhat pompously tells the reporter that gated communities can provide the perfect cover for drug operations, but can also be useful for raids, since the gates keep people out, but also keep people in. The reporter exposits that, in this case, they kept in an Armenian drug cartel. Peter wouldn't use "cartel," adding -- while addressing the camera directly -- that this Gardendale neighbourhood is not a drug-free zone. Peter turns back around, smirking, and into his phone, says that he was looking for the perfect gift to give his wife, and decided to give her a neighbourhood. I hope it goes with her shoes. Also? Better than anything made of diamonique. Nancy calls "Mr. Botwin" "very thoughtful," and Peter rejoins that "Mrs. Scottson" is "very beautiful." I don't know what Conrad's so worried about; clearly, this is a completely symbiotic relationship.