Episode Report Card Pamie: B- | Grade It Now! YOU GRADE IT Rory's A Material Girl
By Pamie | Season 5 | Episode 8 | Aired on 11.08.2004
Rory gets scoped by a big tool named Jordan who was sent over by Emily because they're made for each other. He asks if she's old enough to be legal and offers her a drink, which isn't legal. She declines the drink. He asks if that's because she gets a little crazy when she drinks. "I'd like to see that," he says. Logan -- a.k.a. Tristan 3.0 -- shows up, flinging an arm around Rory, laying claim to her, calling himself her boyfriend. It's hard to put an arm around Rory; her hunched back makes most things roll right off her. Rory plays along with Logan, easing into him, not saying another word. Logan says he and Rory have been together for a year and a half. Jordan asks what he's doing there, and leaves. Logan tells Rory that she looked cornered. She thanks him for helping her. Logan says he hates these parties: "But at least the bar is stocked, and I must say, your grandmother has excellent food." Richard walks up and is happy to see Logan, because apparently the Gilmores are old friends of Logan's family. He's happy that Rory is in such capable hands. Again, if the scene feels familiar, it's because we've done all this before, and it was much better the first time around. Logan tells Rory that lesson #1 in dealing with these parties is to form a subparty. He calls for Finn and says they need a change of venue. Rory plays with her straps. "Do I know you?" Finn asks her: the only good line they've ever given this boy.
Lane goes to her mom's house to talk to Lane 2.0. MamaLane is out helping someone to find her faith. Lane asks Lane 2.0 why she ratted Lane out to her mother after Lane gave Lane 2.0 fries and bonded with her. Lane 2.0 says she had to tell MamaLane about hugging the boy because MamaLane took her in and she can't lie to her because she'll know because she knows everything: "She read the thoughts and hand gestures!" Lane sits Lane 2.0 down and offers to help her. She tells Lane 2.0 that on Sundays, while waiting for MamaLane to get him from her Crochet for Christ meeting, she doesn't have to sit still quietly, but could watch television, undetected, and then just not tell MamaLane about it. Lane 2.0 says there's a machine in the television set that will tell MamaLane what she watched. Lane says this isn't true. It doesn't exist: "Took me fifteen years to figure it out, but that's the truth." She says that MamaLane also can't smell fast food on Lane 2.0 even after she's showered. MamaLane can't tell how many times Lane 2.0 opened her Bible by staring at her palm. Lane 2.0 says she needs to lie down. I said it in the recaplet, but honestly, Mom had me convinced Silly Putty evaporated, because she never wanted to find the stuff in the carpet, so she'd throw it away whenever I left it out. And the day I figured out she didn't really have eyes in the back of her head was a very liberating day. Lane tells Lane 2.0 that it's a whole new world -- one that took her a very long time to figure out, and that she's willing to pass on all the knowledge. Does it sound like all of Lane 2.0's lines have been dubbed in later? Lane 2.0 is very excited to watch television. Lane says she'll be wearing lip gloss within a month.