Episode Report Card Jacob: B+ | 132 USERS: B- YOU GRADE IT A Pool And His Money
By Jacob | Season 3 | Episode 2 | Aired on 2007.08.20
Isabelle and Doug come home from the grad party and laugh about somebody's drunk mom flying commando. They start to get sundaes together, all cute and fat like a cute fat little family, but Isabelle discovers Celia passed out in the dumbest fucking room ever built. (Great fucking episode.) Celia rolls around on the ground for awhile, much to Isabelle's pleasure, and admits that she is locked out. They make fun of her for awhile, and she finally drags herself to her feet, begging for a bath. Doug gives her a little bath time, unlocking the bedroom door with a houseplant key. Isabelle loves it more than anything.
U-Turn obsesses on Sanjay's sexuality; Sanjay explains his crush on Nancy as "a Judy Garland, Joan Crawford, Sarah Jessica Parker kind of love." U-Turn asks if this then implies that he would suck a dick. Sanjay's kind of awesome: "I would, if it was the right dick." You go, girl. U-Turn brandishes a gun at him and suggests the hypothesis that there is no such thing. Sanjay tells him he's going to be true to himself regardless of U-Turn or his family's objections. Conrad asks Sanjay if he's ever slept with a woman, and Sanjay admits that his cousin's friend once let her play with her nipples. He found it "kind of gross." U-Turn offers this pearl of wisdom: "Yeah, some women got ugly titties. Don't mean you a cocksucker." I...don't know how to respond to that.
A crazy ho named Clinique shows up with sandwiches for everybody. U-Turn calls an impromptu meeting with her in the corner while Conrad tries to get Sanjay on board with a plan to threaten U-Turn with the empty gun and escape. Too soon, U-Turn and Clinique come to an agreement: she is going to, I suppose as a favor to U-Turn, take Sanjay into another room and "fuck the gay out of [him]." Sanjay chokes on his sandwich; Conrad giggles and tells them it doesn't work that way. "Clinique's gonna make it work," U-Turn promises. It's hilarious because you can see him doing this as a tactic, but really I think he's just concerned about Sanjay. Clinique offers to try and fuck something out of Conrad too, but he only likes crazy bitches when they're white. Clinique, who is really growing on me, drags Sanjay back into the other room. The fucking commences.