By M. Giant | Season 2 | Episode 14
We get to watch severely letterboxed versions of last week's eliminations of Sister C, Willie Jones, David Correy, and Diamond White before we're reminded that we're expected to vote for the acts who will sing live tonight. Because I think that what America is in the mood for right now is more voting. Stellar timing as always, The X Factor.
The judges come out onstage and submit to the crowd noise before taking their seats. Mario and Khloe come out and Mario yells, "Everyone welcome to The X Factor, let's go!" So we're not wasting any time, then? Great, who sings first? Oh, wait, Mario was just blustering. He and Khloe tell us yet again that the top twelve will be singing for our votes tonight. Except, as Simon announces, the judges have decided that someone from last week gets to come back because they made a mistake, and by "they," we of course mean Britney Spears. And out comes Diamond White, wearing earrings the size of her head and smiling happily over getting the coveted Melanie Amaro spot. Mario shoos her offstage until later and announces that the theme tonight is "songs from the movies," which is underscored by a playing of the 20th Century Fox fanfare, of course.
And the first person to sing tonight, after Khloe and Britney have themselves an impromptu little awkward-off, is Arin Ray. We flash back to Arin's near-elimination last week, as well as his actual elimination with InTENsity at this time last year, as he vows that he's about to give the biggest performance of his life. He sings "American Boy" by Estelle with a motorcycle-racing themed production (which must have something to do with a movie I don't know that this song I also don't know must be from), and he sounds pretty good once he warms up. L.A. tells him he's a totally different person from last year, and Arin thanks him. He didn't say it was a compliment, but it turns out it actually was. Demi (who needs to fire her eyebrow person) tells Arin that he clearly took their advice from last week, which is the biggest compliment they ever give anyone. Simon even credits Britney for doing such a good job as his mentor. Britney recites complimentary speech number three, and then the hosts come out to join Arin, Khloe flirts awkwardly, and Mario sends us to commercial. Thank you, Mario. A little faster time, though, please.
After the ads, Mario comes back to flog the hell out of the X Factor app from the control room and then yields to Khloe at the judges' table, who lets Simon flog it as well, as he deadpans that it's the best app in the world. Well, if he says so. You know how objective he always is.
By M. Giant | Season 2 | Episode 14
Khloe has Demi introduce Paige Thomas, whose intro clip is all about how her three-year-old daughter is her motivation. And then, believe it or not, Paige is lowered onto the stage in a giant billowing white dress that looks like a scene from Tony Kushner's Angels In America: The Upskirt Epoch. She sings "Take My Breath Away" from Top Gun, battling against the distraction of having a "dance partner" whose primary function appears to be disengaging her from her flight rig. L.A. loved the production, but was expecting more from Paige vocally. Britney also liked the beginning the best. But Simon tells Demi, "I don't think you could have put any more on that stage," and then says she could have used her imagination and done more with it. Well, which is it? Demi responds sarcastically, saying to Paige, "I'm so sorry I let you down." She kind of had to eventually; Paige couldn't hover indefinitely. Demi and the audience pretty much shout Simon down with their positive feedback, and the hosts let Paige tell us how much she loved it. Which, surprise, was a lot.
Khloe brings her awkward vibe and lack of personal space backstage to try to have a conversation with Tate Stevens, who would clearly rather be anywhere else in the world. Back out in the auditorium, Tate's mentor L.A. introduces Vino Alan. We learn that Vino's hometown is Waynesville, Missouri, right outside a military base. He tried to join, but his tattoos kept him out, so he's been singing for the troops instead. Tonight he's singing "When a Man Loves a Woman" (supposedly from the movie When a Man Loves a Woman, like the film came first), looking uncharacteristically swag in a steel-gray suit that might be made of actual steel. He does fine, although he doesn't pace himself and show off his voice as well as usual with the quieter notes. Not that the song really lets him, with its notorious lack of quiet parts. Still, Britney liked the performance, particularly the way it showed off how unique and special his voice was. The fact that he's hiding more of his tattoos than normal couldn't hurt with her either. Demi says it was phenomenal, but she's still concerned that "I have a hard time seeing you as a number one artist." You know, Demi, they have lasers and Dermabrasion now. Simon tells him he went "from zero to hero" compared to last week, and that Demi's comment was pretty stupid given what happened with Susan Boyle. "Vino, come back," he interrupts himself while Vino's shaking hands with the crowd off stage left, and lamely concludes, "You're a good man." As Khloe and Mario flank Vino, L.A. tells him he's proud of him and admits that Simon was right, so they used his advice. Looks like they've patched things up, at least for now.
By M. Giant | Season 2 | Episode 14
Simon introduces Emblem3, who he says will be singing a song from My Girl. Wonder what it'll be? In their intro reel, we're reminded of their names (which I'm putting an increasing amount of effort into not learning) and find out that they've recently been evicted, so the contestants' mansion is the only place for them to stay right now. Clearly they're motivated to earn the grand prize that's as good as theirs. Onstage, they sing -- you guessed it -- "My Girl," but as a mash-up with Katy Perry's "California Girls." Quit it with the damn mash-ups, Simon. They don't seem quite as comfortable with the material as usual and are having about a tenth as much fun. In fact it's hard to tell whether they or Simon look more embarrassed. Still, after they've finished, L.A. can't find anything to be critical of, saying, "You were perfect, and I don't like that." Britney talks about how they made the song theirs, not having noticed that there was more than one. Demi stops mooning over them long enough to dis Simon for putting a One Direction shout-out in the number. Simon compliments them on their energy and adds that they just changed songs yesterday and got on with it without a lot of bitching. Well, that explains the performance, at least. Khloe says they could go on tour now, as is, probably because she wants to be a groupie.
We're keeping this going, as Britney introduces her second teen, Beatrice Miller. Beatrice tells us about her two moms and younger twin sisters, none of whom are employed right now, so it's on Beatrice to be the family breadwinner. We also learn in the intro reel that Beatrice's voice isn't currently at a hundred percent, and that seems to hold up in her performance of "Iris" from City of Angels. L.A., however, says the tone of her voice sounds like a hit record. I thought it sounded a bit more like a cold medicine commercial, but that's just me. Demi appreciates how much of her soul she poured into it, and Simon is impressed at how good she is for a thirteen-year-old. Britney compliments her on having the best personality, which is really a potential game-changer in a singing competition. Especially when one of the other competitors is CeCe Frey.
Coming back from ads in which tomorrow's Grease episode of Glee is promoted, Mario and Demi have to shout the introduction of Jennel Garcia over "You're the One that I Want" being blasted in the auditorium. Synergy! The intro reel shows Jennel telling her life's story to CeCe, and it's hard to tell which of them is more uncomfortable with this obviously staged arrangement. Jennel's making the most of her new Joan Jett bangs tonight by singing "I Love Rock & Roll," I guess from Crossroads. I think she's even singing it in Britney's key from the karaoke scene in that movie, although much, much better. L.A. says it was good, but dismisses it as a Joan Jett parody. Britney offers one word: "Hot, hot, hot." She's not so much a judge as a Magic 8-Ball. Simon tells Jennel that he likes her, but he doesn't like what Demi's done to her look. "That's why I'm her mentor and you're not," Demi says to Simon, who doesn't exactly look shot down. Khloe and Mario come to tower over Jennel while going to break. One thing's for sure: Jennel can only look so tough at that height.
By M. Giant | Season 2 | Episode 14
Coming back, Mario and Khloe are up in the audience as they remind us that we vote tonight and there will be results tomorrow, as well as a performance from One Direction. Can't wait. And then L.A. introduces Tate Stevens, who we learn graduated from high school in 1994, then tried to be a star instead of going to college, and then ended up taking his day job in construction rather than being away from home all the time. So now he's here for his family. It's totally logical if you think about it. He sings "Wanted Dead or Alive," which I guess could potentially be from any number of movies, not that I can think of any right now. And, you know, it's not country like Tate usually does, but there are lyrics about being a cowboy so L.A. must figure it counts. Especially with a lot of giant neon steer heads and words in "Western" font up on the projection screens. He does pretty well with it, though, and so does whoever's singing the indispensable Richie Sambora part along with him. Britney agrees with Tate that he's a cowboy and "a slice of America." Demi says she loves him and thinks he has what it takes, and Simon tells him it feels like he's arrived back in the competition. And he likes giving guys like Tate a break, putting Demi on the spot as to whether Tate can sell records at age 37. Demi maintains that Tate looks like a pop star. Well, unless he takes his hat off. L.A. just says he hopes America votes for Tate. Always nice when your mentor is the least effusive of all the judges.
Khloe's still backstage, where I'm starting to think she should spend a lot more time, and the cameras should spend a lot less. Simon gets the floor and announces, "The movie is Mary Poppins; the group are Lyric 145." Can't wait to hear their hip-hop version of "Chim Chim Cheree" or "Supercalifragilisticexpialidocious." Wait, what, they're actually doing that second one? Simon appears to have his Disney movies mixed up, starting them off dressed for Alice's mad tea party behind a table that turns out to be packed with dancers. And of course he also has them dressed like demented clowns again, with a stage and lighting design that expresses every last erg of Simon's pent-up rage at the world's epileptics. At one point, Lyric Da Queen leans over on the judges' table and teases L.A. about how she can even say "Supercalifragilisticexpialidocious" backwards, but that would be going a little too far. And one of the guys says, "One night I said it to Britney and now she's my wife." Clearly Simon's goal with this group is to invent a weapon of mass headache-inducement. When the torture finally ends, L.A. goes first, telling the table-mic that Lyric broke for him that he hated it, but it was perfect. Britney liked the theatrics (which, agreed, were amped up enough to penetrate even the thickest Thorazine haze), and Demi says to Simon, "Who knew that in that rusty old brain there were some fresh, cool, hip thoughts?" Is that what we've just learned? Simon reveals that Lyric picked the song, and it was "bloody fantastic." I think I may be losing my mind here.
By M. Giant | Season 2 | Episode 14
Britney gets to introduce her mistake from last week that was so egregious she earned an automatic do-over, Diamond White. In her intro reel, Diamond says her elimination was the worst day of her life. She cried through what she thought was her last interview, and then got the call from Britney -- on camera -- telling her she was the one who was too good to let go. So now she's back, singing "I Have Nothing" by Whitney Houston. She must have been brought back in just the last couple of days, because the production is pretty much limited to a light show and the white suit that's wearing her. As for her singing, she's clearly got something to prove, and I'd say she proved it. L.A. says it was an ambitious song choice, but she "brought it home." Demi confesses to being near tears and doesn't have much else to add, and Simon says he's so happy she's back. Britney tells her that Whitney would be very proud. Hard to say how long it will be until Britney gets to ask Whitney herself.
Demi introduces CeCe Frey, who does her best in her intro reel to make her rural upbringing in Decatur, IL seem desperate and hardscrabble. She says she's going to be doing "'Eye of the Tiger' from the movie Rocky," which is not entirely accurate, but maybe Simon is reserving all uses of the number three for his boy band for the duration of the competition. She comes out with her hair extra tall and featuring the not-so-triumphant return of the leopard spots, which are now spreading all the way back into her hair. And not sounding great, to be honest. L.A. basically says it was less than the sum of its parts, Britney makes a vague compliment, and Simon complains that "anything recognizable about you from the beginning has been thrown away and this song choice was just horrible." So clearly Simon's targeting Demi this week instead of L.A. Or maybe he's just pissed that CeCe's finally been given access to pants. In response to Simon, Demi asks CeCe if she wanted to do this song, and CeCe sticks with her mentor. When the hosts come out, Mario wants to settle a lingering question once and for all: how does CeCe pronounce her last name? It's "Fry," as it turns out, and when Mario says it's like "French fry," she rolls her eyes and says, "Never heard that one before." Still working on that likability thing, I see.
Britney introduces Carly Rose Sonenclar. There's some old home video of Carly singing at home when she was two and looked exactly the same only shorter, and her brother pretended to judge her as Simon. Nobody mentions that this would have been when Simon was on some other show. She and Britney promise a conscious departure from the overproduced mess they perpetrated last week, and indeed, while both she and the stage are overdressed, her performance of "It Will Rain" is straightforward and really vocally strong, enough to move at least one person to tears. It's Carly, but still. L.A. gushes that he loved it and he loves her, and Demi says this is Carly in her element as opposed to last week, with Simon completely agreeing. "You've got real guts for someone your age," he adds, and tells her she's a star in the making. And Britney finally says something that's specific to a performance she just saw, which is that Carly should have closed the show because nobody can follow that. Good thing commercials exist.
By M. Giant | Season 2 | Episode 14
Coming back, the hosts are back up in the house with some audience members who are even more awkward on-camera than Khloe is (just to prove that such humans exist, I suppose) before letting L.A. introduce the guy he insists on calling "Mr. Entertainment," Jason Brock, singing a song from Space Jam. Oh, here we go. In his intro reel, Jason claims to have been Mr. Entertainment from a young age, but his dad wanted him to "act like a guy." Shut up, Jason's dad. Sure enough, Jason's singing "I Believe I Can Fly," which of course nobody ever would have heard if not for Space Jam. Jason has also ditched last week's overproduction, singing in a red tuxedo in front of projected images of candles instead of an army of dancers, and even the inevitable gospel choir is allowed only the smallest peek out from upstage. And I have to say, Jason does an excellent job singing it. Britney says it was better than last week, but still Vegas lounge act. Demi agrees, saying Jason's better than that. Simon cracks that he doesn't believe Jason could fly, and he's dressed like a singer in an Italian restaurant. "So I think there's a lot of work that needs to be done with you." L.A. manages to swallow his obvious frustration and say it's up to the voters and not the judges this week. Encouraging. Khloe puts Britney on the spot, asking what she'd have Jason sing instead. "Something more urban," Britney says, almost as though she's been paying attention, and even specifies "Scream" by Usher. What movie was that in, though? At least Jason likes the idea, and he also draws attention to the fact that he's keeping his hands clear of Mario's ass tonight. Which is good, because Mario needs to concentrate on the fact that the last act coming up after the ads will be the group formerly known as 1432, formerly known as Lylas, and soon we'll find out what they're called this week.
Coming back, Mario and Khloe are standing to the judges' table so Simon can introduce the last group, which, thanks to America, is now called Fifth Harmony. Oh, good, another name with a number in it. We're introduced to the girls individually, for what it's worth. They say that they've been struggling without a name, but now that it's been taken care of all of their problems are presumably solved. They sit on stools and sing Christina Perri's "A Thousand Years" from Twilight, wisely showcasing Camila but also doing some decent harmonies. Which they kind of have to with that name, at least until it gets changed again. L.A. doesn't like this name either, even though he doesn't want to say so since America picked it, but he liked the song. Britney's impressed with their improvement since last week, and although Demi didn't love the arrangement, she loved the vocals. Simon gushes about how awesome they were and how proud he was, as if he's ever going to zing one of his own acts. If that ever happens I don't know what I'm going to do.