The Mommy Problem

In his office, Toby takes Josh's call. Josh is asking that they do something to quiet down the leak story, but Toby breaks it to him that the White House is ending its investigation of the leak. Josh recognizes that this will throw the focus onto security issues for a while, giving Vinick a chance to dominate the discussion and contrast himself with the Democrats. Josh starts yelling at Toby, who just hangs up on him.

Back at Santos HQ, a cable-news talking head is already discussing the effect of the announcement on the Santos campaign. I just don't think things happen this quickly -- especially not this early in the morning. Josh, looking angry and frustrated, walks over to the whiteboard while Otto asks if the leak fits into the "trivia" box. Josh doesn't answer -- instead, he just erases the checkmark he drew in the "domestic" box and draws another checkmark in the "security" box. Credits (which feature a curiously reduced cast -- no Janel Moloney or Dul� Hill, although Kristin Chenoweth, Mary McCormack, John Spencer, and Martin Sheen are there despite the fact that none of them appears in the episode).

Santos HQ is now buzzing with activity. Josh is on the phone in the conference room telling someone (Bram?) to keep Santos away from the press until they know how Vinick responds to the news. Joey and Kenny are in the conference room as well. She thinks some senior adviser needs to join Santos on the road. Josh selflessly offers to fly out that afternoon to be with Santos. Ronna turns on the television and calls Josh over. Vinick is giving a brief comment to reporters as he walks out of the Senate Office Building: "If that were my White House, I'd seal the doors and windows until we found that leaker. And then I'd throw him in federal prison." And then Santos is on the phone (on speakerphone, even): "What are they smoking in that White House of yours, Josh?" Santos and Bram (and a ton of other people) are exiting the campaign jet. Santos and Bram each have a cell phone to his ear. Santos is complaining about the White House "bogarting [his] education plan" and then screwing up their message with the announcement about the leak. Josh tells Santos not to comment, because doing so will take focus off of the economic message. Santos wonders how he's going to avoid it at the foreign-policy lunch, but someone (Edie? Ronna?) tells him that Josh already canceled that event. Instead, Santos is doing a town hall on high-tech jobs. In fact, it's a "reverse town hall." Voters aren't going to get to ask Santos questions -- instead, he'll ask them questions about their economic situations. Bram tells Josh that Santos can handle tough questions: "You should see him out here, he's on fire." Joey tells Santos that the focus on the leak is "magnifying the inevitable mommy problem." Ronna wonders what that means, so Josh explains that when voters want a "national daddy" to be tough on security issues, they vote for Republicans. And when they want a "mommy, to give them jobs, health care, the policy equivalent of matzo ball soup, they vote Democratic." I think Santos is a much better daddy than Alan Alda. But we may be talking about different kinds of daddies. Edie thinks Santos is better than Vinick on military issues, and that he has a personal story as a Marine combat pilot to back it up. But Josh thinks that's totally irrelevant, because voters will always perceive Republicans as stronger than Democrats on those issues. Santos gets it that he needs to give the press nothing to speak about other than his economic message. And then Bram fulfills his people-moving duties telephonically, telling the folks in HQ that they have to end the call in order to get Santos to a rally. Before long, Bram will be sending faxes to meetings to remind people that they have to be somewhere else.

In his office, Toby takes Josh's call. Josh is asking that they do something to quiet down the leak story, but Toby breaks it to him that the White House is ending its investigation of the leak. Josh recognizes that this will throw the focus onto security issues for a while, giving Vinick a chance to dominate the discussion and contrast himself with the Democrats. Josh starts yelling at Toby, who just hangs up on him.

Back at Santos HQ, a cable-news talking head is already discussing the effect of the announcement on the Santos campaign. I just don't think things happen this quickly -- especially not this early in the morning. Josh, looking angry and frustrated, walks over to the whiteboard while Otto asks if the leak fits into the "trivia" box. Josh doesn't answer -- instead, he just erases the checkmark he drew in the "domestic" box and draws another checkmark in the "security" box. Credits (which feature a curiously reduced cast -- no Janel Moloney or Dul Hill, although Kristin Chenoweth, Mary McCormack, John Spencer, and Martin Sheen are there despite the fact that none of them appears in the episode).

Santos HQ is now buzzing with activity. Josh is on the phone in the conference room telling someone (Bram?) to keep Santos away from the press until they know how Vinick responds to the news. Joey and Kenny are in the conference room as well. She thinks some senior adviser needs to join Santos on the road. Josh selflessly offers to fly out that afternoon to be with Santos. Ronna turns on the television and calls Josh over. Vinick is giving a brief comment to reporters as he walks out of the Senate Office Building: "If that were my White House, I'd seal the doors and windows until we found that leaker. And then I'd throw him in federal prison." And then Santos is on the phone (on speakerphone, even): "What are they smoking in that White House of yours, Josh?" Santos and Bram (and a ton of other people) are exiting the campaign jet. Santos and Bram each have a cell phone to his ear. Santos is complaining about the White House "bogarting [his] education plan" and then screwing up their message with the announcement about the leak. Josh tells Santos not to comment, because doing so will take focus off of the economic message. Santos wonders how he's going to avoid it at the foreign-policy lunch, but someone (Edie? Ronna?) tells him that Josh already canceled that event. Instead, Santos is doing a town hall on high-tech jobs. In fact, it's a "reverse town hall." Voters aren't going to get to ask Santos questions -- instead, he'll ask them questions about their economic situations. Bram tells Josh that Santos can handle tough questions: "You should see him out here, he's on fire." Joey tells Santos that the focus on the leak is "magnifying the inevitable mommy problem." Ronna wonders what that means, so Josh explains that when voters want a "national daddy" to be tough on security issues, they vote for Republicans. And when they want a "mommy, to give them jobs, health care, the policy equivalent of matzo ball soup, they vote Democratic." I think Santos is a much better daddy than Alan Alda. But we may be talking about different kinds of daddies. Edie thinks Santos is better than Vinick on military issues, and that he has a personal story as a Marine combat pilot to back it up. But Josh thinks that's totally irrelevant, because voters will always perceive Republicans as stronger than Democrats on those issues. Santos gets it that he needs to give the press nothing to speak about other than his economic message. And then Bram fulfills his people-moving duties telephonically, telling the folks in HQ that they have to end the call in order to get Santos to a rally. Before long, Bram will be sending faxes to meetings to remind people that they have to be somewhere else.

By this time, Josh, Joey, and Bill have arrived at an empty office. Josh tells Bill that this is his desk, that his business cards will be ready soon, and that the policy working group starts at 3:00. Bill asks, "And that's when I install the new phone lines?" Joey rolls her eyes, but heroically resists the temptation to slap Josh. The pedeconference continues -- Joey thinks that if Josh won't lean on his own staff, he should lean on the media consultants with whom they are about to meet. But Josh doesn't think those consultants are really there to help -- they're just there to make sure they each get a portion of the DNC media budget. And then Ronna hands Josh the list of attendees. He immediately asks, "What's she doing on there?" Ronna points out that Josh told her to be sure to invite Louise Thornton. Josh clarifies that he really meant "be sure not to invite her."

And...we pedeconference right into the meeting. A bunch of folks are seated at the conference table. Josh thanks them for coming, noting that "this is probably the greatest assemblage of Democratic talent since the last time Jed Bartlet dined alone." The joke does not go over at all. And then Joey looks at Josh and lets out an enormous fake laugh. That man is a fool for not dating her when he had the chance. Josh starts to go over the themes the campaign is trying to push. And there's Janeane Garofalo, who is playing Louise. He asks for their input on the campaign's message and strategy, and the trash talk just starts flying. One woman leads the complaining, with two guys echoing everything she says. Louise keeps having little whispered conversations with Ronna, apparently about the state of Louise's coffee. Josh seems unnerved by it, until Louise tells him, "You don't really want our input on message. Everybody's here for a piece of the DNC media budget. So get to the point, please." Josh tells them that of course they will each be getting part of the DNC media budget, and they suddenly start praising the campaign's message and strategy. Josh asks Louise what she would say if he did want their advice on the campaign's message. She tells him it would be hard to give: "You don't really have one." The other hacks in the room try to soft-pedal that harsh truth, talking about all the ways they can sell the campaign. Louise tells Josh that she's "talking about the iconic, the symbolic. Something you can put on a bumper sticker that tells people who Matt Santos is." Would a picture of his cute butt work? ["It would work for me." -- Wing Chun] Louise gets up to leave, and Josh asks where she's going. She responds, "I don't want a DNC contract. I just came by to see if this is the Josh Lyman vanity exercise everyone says it is. Besides, if I take your money, how can I snipe at you on Meet the Press?" She walks out, and the other hacks start blathering. But Josh just stares, and then gets up to follow her.

Josh catches up to Louise and tells her that they haven't always seen eye-to-eye. She asks if he's referring to the four times she beat his "hand-picked primary candidates." He tells her that it was really three times. Louise: "I was counting the two-to-one victory twice, but okay." And that is the closest that Janeane Garofalo gets to her normal sarcastic quippy self in this episode, which is why I think this is one of the best performances I've ever seen her give. I mean, I generally like her stuff, but she almost always seems to be just playing herself. But here, I see none of the normal behaviors and tics that I associate with her. She's actually acting, and not just being funny. Josh starts to genuinely admit his flaws, including his inability to shape the message the way a real communications director would. Louise gets in another dig, praising him for acknowledging that he's really not very good at "connecting with the electorate." He turns it around, calling her work "reducing human complexity to a box of soap flakes." Louise tells him, "All I know about Santos is what the country knows. He's smart and he's cute." Isn't that enough? I guess if you're actually looking for leadership in a president you might want some other things. Josh thinks that smart and cute is better than "fat and dumb." Louise: "That's such a good bumper sticker. You don't need me." She walks away, and he chases after her, telling her that he thinks that what she does is superficial but also important. If he woos women like he woos media consultants, I can see why he hasn't had a date in a while. He points out that they have different approaches to campaign. Louise: "Right, I win them." She tells him that even though Vinick's comments that morning didn't have much content, he was tough and authentic: "He was Neil Young to your Neil Diamond." Josh admits that he likes Neil Diamond. I just don't believe that. Josh tells Louise that he wants to get the conversation off of security and back to the economy. She keeps walking towards the elevator, telling him that he needs to be stressing Santos's military record while hammering Vinick for his lack of one, and also pointing out how long Vinick has been in the Senate: "If you're not using the phrase 'Beltway Arnie' in every press release...." Josh tells Louise that he doesn't want to go negative. She accuses him of already going negative, only more subtly, by stressing high-tech economic issues, which points to the fact that Vinick still uses a manual typewriter. Josh holds the elevator. Ned walks up and tells Josh that they've received 113 press calls on the security leak story, and that the New York Post still wants to know why they canceled the lunch. Josh tells Ned to tell the Post that they cancel lunches all the time: "We're fast and nimble and move like the night." Josh asks Louise not to leave.

Josh finds Ronna and tells her to make plans for Louise (whom he calls "Lou") to go on the Florida/California trip. Ronna wonders what kind of loco weed Josh is smoking, pointing out that, a few minutes ago, he didn't even want her in the meeting. Josh tells her that she's smart and good, and that "it's better than having her on the outside lobbing mortars onto [his] lap." Ronna asks if she wants the vegetarian option (on the flight, I assume). Josh: "She'll have the raw meat."

Back at the elevator, Josh tells Louise that he wants her to join him on the trip, allowing as to how she can pick up a bag on the way to the airport. Packing at the last minute is never a success. You just know she's going to forget to pack something important, like underwear or her toothbrush. And then it's going to be a long and stinky trip. Josh tells Louise that he wants to hire her as Communications Director, answering to him. She's not interested. As she gets on the elevator, Josh tells Louise, "I am asking you to meet with the President of the United States." Commercials.

Margaret enters C.J.'s office to tell her about some briefing of Jed and Bingo Bob concerning a Norwegian state dinner. There's a bit of bureaucratic babbling, and then not-Debbie (whose name is Nancy, I know, but I'm set in my ways) sticks her head in to tell C.J. that Jed is ready for her. Before C.J. leaves, Margaret tells her that Brock still wants a few minutes of her time. C.J.: "Tell him 'no.' In Norwegian, if you have to. That would be no-sk." As C.J. walks away, Margaret stays just about six inches behind her. Feeling that hot breath on her neck, C.J. turns around and asks her what's wrong. Margaret tells her that Babish's office has indicated that the first round of Congressional subpoenas should arrive any time now, and Margaret expects to be one of the first ones called to testify. Haltingly, she asks C.J., "If there's anything you want me to...?" C.J. interrupts her: "I want you to tell the truth." And then C.J. walks into the Office of O.

Josh and Louise have arrived in Tampa. As Josh exits an SUV, reporters start throwing questions around. He doesn't really answer any of them, but just passes out a policy paper and tells them that Santos is announcing a major new tax credit at the reverse town hall. One reporter asks when Santos will be available for questions. Josh tells him, "After you write about the tax credit." He ignores some more questions about the leak investigation. Someone asks how Leo feels about the White House's announcement about the investigation. Yeah, wouldn't it have been nice to see what Leo thought about all this? He must be campaigning in Mandyville this week. And then someone asks if Josh has a comment on the New York Post. Josh: "I'm against it. That's off the record." The reporter points out that there's a story on the paper's website pointing out that Santos has canceled four lunch events in the last two weeks. Someone else asks why he's always canceling lunch. The Post is calling it "Santos Siesta." I have a hard time believing that even the New York Post would stoop to such a level. Josh thinks the story is ridiculous, but one reporter makes it clear that this is more interesting to them than the same old economic speech they've already heard before. Josh says goodbye to the press and walks away from them. Ned is with him, and Josh tells him, "When I told you to tell the Post that we cancel lunches all the time, the point wasn't to emphasize..." Ned: "That we cancel lunches all the time?" Ned thinks it's kind of a fine line, but Josh doesn't see any subtlety there. Edie asks how they should deal with it, and Josh tells them that they'll hold a lunch event every day that week. "I don't care if we're stuffed to the gills, we put out a sandwich tray and we call it a lunch event."

By this time, the group has pedeconferenced into the building. Louise and Josh spar about his use of a message grid, and she accuses him of "fighting scandal with spreadsheets." He asks her what she wants him to do, and she tells him that they should start hitting back at Vinick. The group moves up some stairs, and a reporter approaches Josh. Josh tells him that he's not commenting on the leak story, but the reporter tells him that it's something else entirely -- something he'll like. And he hands Josh a folded piece of paper.

Santos and Bram are deep in the bowels of a restaurant (or hotel) kitchen. There are some fancy dishes being prepared. It must be awfully hard for these cooks to work, considering that the Secret Service undoubtedly made them put away all their sharp knives. I hope. Bram is telling Santos about a "listen-only conference call" scheduled immediately after the reverse town hall. Apparently, he'll be put on the phone with a bunch of local reporters, but they won't be able to ask him questions -- they can only hear what he has to say. Hearing the description, Santos tells Bram, "If it goes well, I can open it up to hand gestures." Bram tells him that, after the call, he's meeting with Louise (once again called "Lou"). A cute little waiter hands Santos a piece of paper for his autograph. Josh has caught up to them, and he tells Santos that it might be tough to recruit Louise, but that Santos should really try to get her on board. He also tells Santos that if she is hired, any ideas she has will be filtered through Josh. They slowly make their way through the kitchen. Santos wonders if the press is going crazy because he hasn't issued a statement on the leak investigation. Josh tells him, "I think I have a way to close the security gap overnight." It turns out that the letter Josh was handed was a notice requiring Santos to report for his annual Marine Corps Reserve duty, scheduled for two days starting the Tuesday after Labor Day, in Fort Worth. Santos seems pretty pissed that Time magazine got the letter before he did. I am wondering how that official government mail fell into their hands. Josh thinks this is a great opportunity: "This is everything we couldn't do at the convention. You in fatigues, wind in your hair, trench knife in your teeth." Josh is getting kind of turned on by this image. He verifies that it's an annual required event, so it won't look like a stunt because Santos is just following orders. And then Bram does his thing, so Santos leaves.

Josh sees a waiter -- the same one that had Santos sign an autograph at the other end of the kitchen -- and asks him for his best bottle of champagne. "Make it your tenth-best. Nothing with a screw-off top." And then Louise is there. Josh suggests that she go watch the reverse town hall, but she doesn't want to go in until the introductions are done. So then Josh asks her to leave so that he can talk about things she's not allowed to hear. She obligingly walks away, and Josh grabs Edie and Ned and tells them that Santos is doing his reserve duty two days after Labor Day. Josh tells Edie to work with the Marine Corps to organize a small press pool and to make sure that Santos's uniform fits like a glove. I know some folks that might volunteer for that duty. And then Josh grabs Ned and tells him to get documentation on all of Santos's past call-ups to show that he does this every year and that it's not just some kind of stunt. Ned has a thoughtful look on his face, and breaks it to Josh that Santos has often rescheduled his Reserve duty. Josh hopes that it was only when there was some crucial national security vote scheduled in Congress, but Ned breaks his heart by informing him it was usually when Santos was campaigning, or when one of his children was sick. And then the cute waiter walks up behind Ned and pops the cork on his tenth-best champagne. Hee.

White House. (Do you remember when every scene pretty much took place in the White House? Yeah, me too. Good times, good times.) Carol is making her semiannual appearance, telling Toby that there is a huge number of press requests about the leak investigation. They are progressing down the corridor, making their way to C.J.'s office. Toby tells Carol to refer all calls to the Counsel's office, but Carol tells him that Babish is not taking any press questions. She also tells Toby that there are three reporters camped outside his office. He tells her that's why he's nowhere near his office.

Toby enters C.J.'s office, and she asks him what the response has been to the announcement. He refers to "Arnold Vinick's plan to turn the federal government into an episode of Dragnet," and gives her a witness list for the Congressional hearings. C.J. notes that Brock's name is on the list, and predicts that he'll refuse to testify. She wonders if Congress will hold him in contempt. Toby: "First Amendment isn't what it used to be." C.J. tells Toby that she's been avoiding Brock all day. Toby thinks that's a good idea.

Santos and his entourage walk across the tarmac to the campaign jet. Santos is pointing out that even if he did sometimes reschedule his reserve duty, he still did it every year -- "almost." He's concerned that if people realize how easy it is to reschedule, it will look like a stunt if he shows up on command this year. Josh agrees (but with a lot more words), and Santos walks onto the plane.

Santos enters his private room on the plane, where Louise is already waiting. Bram tells Santos that he has five minutes and then a quick meeting with a city councilmember before takeoff. Santos asks Louise if she prefers "Lou" or "Louise." Yeah, I'm dying to know. She tells him, "'Lou' started in college when I signed up for men's intramural softball. They were a player short, turned out I was the best hitter on the team." Hmmm. Based on that description, I'm predicting that she went to Brown. 'Cause those guys are all nancy-boys. (And I say that with some personal expertise on the subject of nancy-boys). Santos thinks the story means that she prefers "Lou," but she tells him, "'Louise' is fine." I can't decide which name to use. So I'll let you decide. Take the poll at right. Santos asks her what she thought of the reverse town hall. She tells him she disliked his joke about being the first one unemployed. Tell me about it, sister. But she just thinks it's inappropriate to be joking about economic adversity. He asks her if there's anything she liked. Louise: "Oh, sure, but I assume you have plenty of people around to tell you how great you are, and if you don't, you should hire some, 'cause they're wonderful." Santos asks her if she thinks he has a mommy problem. I assume he means to ask if he's unable to appear as a commanding father figure. She doesn't really answer his question, telling him, "Right now, Beltway Arnie's kicking you all over the electoral map, the White House is treating you like a fly on their governmental windshield, and I'm wondering if it's just Josh, or if you have what it takes to come out of the Candidate Protection Program and start kicking back." And then Bram enters to introduce Santos to the city councilmember and her family. Santos gets up for a picture, but Louise stays in her seat, ready to resume their conversation after Santos finishes. Commercials.