Open on a talking head wrapping up an interview with Toby, who is identified as "author of President Bartlet's final State of the Union Address." Talking Head thanks Toby for not making the speech too long, and he tells her that they were "aiming for pith." After the cameras stop rolling, Talking Head wants to ask Toby some questions about the prescription drug coverage mentioned in the speech, but he's pulled away by Carol, who tells him that C.J. is waiting for him. In a nice touch of continuity, you can see Annabeth hovering in the background in her role as Deputy Press Secretary for Media Relations.
Walking through the West Wing, Toby runs into C.J., who congratulates him. They then exchange some dialogue that is utterly incomprehensible to me. The only thing I can make out is that C.J. seems to be mumbling some praise, and Toby seems to be muttering some resistance to accepting that praise. Toby asks if "he's here yet," and C.J. tells him that "he" is due any time. Toby wonders if "he" is ready for this, and C.J. says, "He says he is." Toby complains about the meeting's having been scheduled at 7:00 AM, but C.J. says it's the only time that would fit everyone's schedule. Apparently, "he" has some thoughts he wanted to share with everyone. Carol passes behind them, and praises Toby on the speech. Wouldn't she have done that when she saw him moments ago? He deflects the praise, and C.J. calls him on his false modesty as they turn the corner and walk out of sight. Gee, I wonder who "he" could be? Could it be Jed? Or is the animatronic version of Fitz ready to assume its duties? Oh, you say you read the episode description in the media source of your choice and knew it was Leo? Then I guess all this misdirection was for nothing.
Cut to a shot of Leo's bony claw. I'm not kidding -- his hand looks nearly skeletal. It's attached to Leo (natch), who is riding in the back of a limo while a reporter on the radio talks about Jed's asking for the largest expansion ever of the Earned Income Tax Credit (EITC from here on out, kids -- I don't get paid by the letter). The thing that struck me immediately about this shot is that it was so clearly not shot on location -- the light is completely wrong for D.C. in January. I think they should avoid any shot that calls for natural light in the winter unless they are on location in a place that actually has a winter. Just two seconds after passing a glassy building, the driver stops the car and tells Leo that they've arrived. Again, a telling flaw to anyone familiar with D.C.
Leo walks into the White House and is welcomed by a security guard as he signs in. (That is, Leo signs in. The guard was already there.) Some never-before-and never-again-to-be-seen woman also tells Leo how nice it is to see him again. Wells is giving out SAG cards like they're going out of style. Leo walks down a corridor and opens a door, only to find the entire regular cast of White House staff waiting for him. C.J. leads a round of applause as he walks into the room.
Someone says, "Welcome back, boss," as Leo walks up to C.J. and tells her that he thought they were "keeping this low-key." C.J. tells him it is low-key: "Annabeth wanted to bring in the Marine Marching Band." If Kristin Chenoweth gets to sing with them, I won't object. Woman has pipes, is all I'm sayin'. ["Too bad she loves George W. Bush enough to perform at his inauguration." -- Wing Chun] For those keeping score at home, the cast of characters in the room includes C.J., Toby, Charlie, Kate, Annabeth, and Will. There are some other folks in the room as well -- I'm told that even Ed and Larry(!) were there, but it's been so long since I've seen them that I can no longer remember what they look like.
Leo walks over to his new desk, seemingly a bit at a loss as to how to deal with the group, and then he turns around and points at Toby: "Ah, man of the hour." That sets off another round of applause. Toby looks sheepish, and Will calls him on his false modesty. Toby rejects the diagnosis: "It's actually self-loathing." Annabeth tells Toby to "stop being such a pill." You know, I've heard people use that word all my life, and I've never really understood what it meant, so I looked it up: "a tiresomely disagreeable person." I think if Toby stopped being that, he would disappear in a ball of smoke. Leo is about to start saying a few words, but C.J. cuts him off so that he can accept a gift they all bought him. As he starts to open it, beepers start going off around the room -- first Kate, then C.J. Leo opens his gift: "My very own defibrillator." I blame John Wells for the fact that I have start learning how to spell words like "defibrillator." Leo once again starts to address the group when there's a knock on the door -- it's a military type, looking for Kate. She leaves, and Leo starts again: "I rather unexpectedly found myself with a bit of spare time on my hands, these last few months." Will's cell phone starts ringing, and he leaves to take a call from Bingo Bob. Leo is talking about the need for an internal assessment when Kate sticks her head into the room and asks for C.J. Leo continues as his audience dwindles.
“ If I were heading to the White House expecting to meet with the Chief of Staff, I think I'd be pretty pissed to find myself foisted off on the Deputy Special Assistant to the Chief of Staff. No matter how cute he is. ”
C.J. steps out in the hall, where Kate tells her that there is a large demonstration outside the U.S. embassy in Bolivia. Apparently, it has something to do with a statement made by the U.S. ambassador. Kate tells C.J., "It's being seen as interfering in their election." C.J.: "The guy is a socialist, who says that, if elected, he'll immediately halt their coca eradication program." I assume that's not a description of the U.S. ambassador -- although, if it is, I would like to attend some of those embassy parties. Kate tells C.J. that she'll call the Department of Defense and speak to the "Undersecretary for Low-Grade Conflicts." You can usually find him hanging out with his pal from the Department of Agriculture, the Undersecretary for Low-Grade Meat By-Products. Oh, and on the hair front, Kate is still in the ponytail. I'm really starting to give up hope.
In Leo's office, he's soldiering on through his remarks when C.J. sticks her head in to get Charlie. C.J. and Charlie take off walking down the hall. She tells him that there's a situation in Bolivia, and that she needs him to speak to Margaret to see what meetings he can cover and what meetings can be moved. I know that Charlie is great and all, but I have to agree with the forum posters who think that it's a bit much for someone of his rank to suddenly be taking meetings that C.J. was going to run. If I were heading to the White House expecting to meet with the Chief of Staff, I think I'd be pretty pissed to find myself foisted off on the Deputy Special Assistant to the Chief of Staff. No matter how cute he is. C.J. asks Charlie what Leo's talking about, and he tells her, "I'm really not sure." They pass Will, who is still on his cell phone with the Veep. He seems to be having some kind of disagreement with Bingo Bob, but we don't get many details. However, we can hear him tell the Veep that he doesn't think a week is long enough -- but for what, we don't know. Yet. By the way, I thought cell phones weren't supposed to work in the White House?
Back in Leo's office, Ed and Larry (I think, and in no particular order) are wondering if they didn't just do an internal assessment while preparing for the State of the Union. Leo starts to respond when Carol walks in to tell Annabeth that "the Labor Secretary's panicked about his press conference." Annabeth excuses herself, telling everyone on the way out that "it's about time [the Secretary of Labor] got a good spanking." Toby gets a worried look on his face, and excuses himself to make sure Annabeth doesn't go overboard with the corporal punishment. Charlie sticks his head back in, but he's not returning to hear the rest of Leo's remarks. He's there for Ed and Larry. Once they leave, Leo is left alone with a woman we've never seen before. After a few awkward seconds, she asks him, "Are we done, Mr. McGarry?" He gives her a small smile, says, "No, not yet," and turns to the whiteboard behind him. Picking up a marker, he writes "365" on the board, underlining it twice for emphasis. Credits.
Office of O. A doctor is taking Jed's blood pressure while Abbey sits nearby and looks at a book. The doctor notes that Jed's balance has returned, and asks if he's in any pain. Jed, always the smart-ass, responds with a question of his own: "Physical, or existential?" The doctor wonders what the chance is of getting a straight answer from Jed, and Abbey speaks for the audience when she tells him not to hold his breath. Jed tells the doc that he's feeling no pain, "spiritual or otherwise," and then tells Abbey that she doesn't have to go. She doesn't think that's an option: "They'll think we're northeast Yankee elitists." Now Jed speaks for the audience by pointing out that they are northeast Yankee elitists. Abbey tells Jed that he could make the occasional effort, and he is completely dismissive: "Five-hundred laps around an oval. An entire sport predicated on the expectation of the Grand Guignol." He mispronounces Guignol with a soft "g," and Abbey immediately corrects him: "Guignol, connoting the sanguinary, buckets of blood, like hockey." The doctor has realized that they are speaking about the autocar races, and he tells her that she's in for a treat. Abbey seizes on this to point out to Jed that "there are people with most of their teeth who are actual NASCAR fans." Jed wonders whether the doctor is really a doctor, and the doc tells him that he graduated "first in [his] class, University of Daytona." Abbey tells the doc that Jed likes to be the funny one. Kind of like me. Abbey asks the doctor if Jed is well enough to join her, and the doc tells her that Jed shouldn't travel. Jed is completely transparent in faking his disappointment, and Abbey accuses the doctor of colluding with Jed so that he could get out of a day at the races. Jed kisses Abbey on the cheek, and on the way out of the office he tells her that Grand Guignol refers to "horror and sensationalism, not blood. Look it up." I did, and he's right.
Jed walks over to the door that connects to C.J.'s office, knocks on it, opens it, and says, "The President will see you now." Toby, Kate, and C.J. file in. Kate tells Jed that someone whose name sounds like "Zalia" is polling a close second in the Bolivian presidential election. He had been in fourth place prior to the U.S. ambassador's unfortunate remark (whatever it was). C.J. points out that "there's concern about rioting outside [the] embassy," and Kate asks Jed to make a statement reaffirming U.S. impartiality in the election. Jed thinks that such a statement would be silly, because nobody would believe that the U.S. is not interested in the outcome of the election. Kate points out all the bad things Zalia will do if he's elected, including "remov[ing] all U.S. imperialist forces from Bolivia." Jed points out that the current government invited those "imperialist forces" into the country. Kate refers to Bolivia as an ally in the war on drugs, and Toby suggests that "since no one ever wins and it never ends, maybe we should stop calling it a war." Kate points out that the U.S. has "two thousand troops and seven battleships in Latin America, and our pilots engage daily in hostile gunfire [as opposed to friendly gunfire?] as they spray coca fields, but we don't have to call it a war." C.J. suggests that they call it a low-grade conflict. I suggest we call it a futile effort to impose the burden of stopping drug trafficking on other countries instead of taking real steps to decrease demand in the U.S. But C.J.'s idea is catchier. Toby suggests some language that would affirm American neutrality in all elections, and Jed supposes that he can live with it. They move on to the item on the agenda.
“ Jed is used to Toby by now: 'I used to think it was a way of harvesting even more compliments. Now I understand it's just self- abnegation and clinical despair.' Yup, that's our Toby. ”
Debbie's office. She asks Leo if he wouldn't prefer to wait in his own office, and then tells him, "I'm sure you could go in and join them." Leo is content to wait, and when she offers him some water, he says, "I'm good, Deb." She observes that Leo has never called her "Deb" before, and tells him that Jed sometimes calls her "Deb": "I actually kind of hate it." Leo apologizes, and she tells him it's no big deal. When he asks her whether she's told Jed about it, she points out that it can be kind of difficult to find time to raise things like that.
Kate emerges from the Oval and apologizes to Leo for having to run out that morning. She tells him it would be great to get his perspective on the Bolivia thing, and he tells her to feel free to drop by his office any time. She starts to walk away, and then turns back to suggest that they set up an actual appointment for 3:30 that afternoon. Some people have said that they thought Kate was coming on to Leo in that scene, but my impression was just that she was trying to see if they would be on good terms after butting heads so much earlier in the season. Besides, everybody knows she's got the hots for Donna. Kate walks out of Debbie's office, and Leo notices a painting on the wall. He asks Debbie, "Was that Thomas Paine always there?" Debbie thought that it was Nathan Hale, but Leo is certain it's Paine: "These are the times that try men's souls." Huh. I always thought Paine wrote "Now is the time for all good men to come to the aid of the party." Or maybe it was "The quick red fox jumps over the lazy brown dog." Debbie thinks Tom should get over himself.
Back in the Oval Office, C.J., Jed, and Toby are discussing some issues related to the EITC. Jed tells them that $10 billion is the goal, but that he's realistic if there's bargaining to be done. C.J. points out that during the State of the Union, there were thirty-six interruptions for applause. Jed: "I don't know what's more depressing -- that we count them, or that I care." Or that the members of Congress choreograph their response to the speech so much. 'Cause that's the part I find sad. Jed tries to shift credit to Toby, who naturally seeks to evade it. C.J. tells Jed that Toby is "doing his annual sack-cloth and ashes bit." Didn't I once see a sack-cloth and ashes show at Fashion Week in New York? Gaultier, maybe? Jed is used to Toby by now: "I used to think it was a way of harvesting even more compliments. Now I understand it's just self-abnegation and clinical despair." Yup, that's our Toby. Debbie knocks and sticks her head into the office to tell Jed that "Leo McGarry" is waiting, and to remind Jed that he's late for an NSA briefing on Chechnya. Jed and C.J. both seem surprised to hear that Leo's been waiting, and Jed tells Debbie to send him in. He also asks her to "do that knocking thing again in five minutes." As she leaves, he calls out, "Thanks, Deb." She stops for a second and looks as though she's about to say something, but thinks better of it as Leo squeezes past her to enter the room.