Impact Winter

Thanks to Quilldriver, GraydonCarter, and barmyarmy. They know why.

Over the title card, we hear what sounds like a very understated cover of The Mamas and The Papas' "Monday, Monday." But as the screen fades from black (uh, "unfades," I guess), we see that it's actually Josh and Donna. He's singing the lyrics while reading the paper, and she's throwing in the backup vocals while buttering his muffin. And that's not a euphemism -- they're sitting at his desk with a bunch of breakfast accoutrements in front of them, and she's buttering a muffin (or bagel, or breakfast pastry) for him. Does she cut his steak into little pieces at dinner time? Or even worse, does she cut his toenails? And to get away from this disgusting tangent and back to the subject of The Mamas and The Papas, let me say that Queen Latifah's cover of "California Dreamin'" is reason enough to buy The Dana Owens Album. Donna interrupts her singing to answer the phone, and she tells the caller that Josh is unavailable for lunch, but that he can meet in the afternoon. Josh asks her who he has for lunch, and she tells him that it's her. Josh: "We're having breakfast." Donna: "We need to be able to have a conversation." Josh: "What are we doing now?" Well, it looks like you're reading the paper while Donna feeds you your breakfast. Which is downright creepy, in my opinion. She tells him that they need to be able to speak where they won't be interrupted: "This lunch has been cancelled six times. It's gonna kill you to buy me a salad?" Since the first time we heard her ask to speak with Josh was in the last episode, which took place no more than two days ago, I can't help wondering how many times a day they eat lunch. I think I have to give up trying to figure out timelines on this show. Josh reminds her that it's going to be a slow day at the White House, so there should be few interruptions. Donna puts cream and sugar into her coffee as Josh starts singing again. As he gets to the part where the backup vocals should come in, he stops and looks at Donna. She gives him an icy stare, and after a few seconds of silence, he provides his own backup. (And that's not a euphemism either).

Josh walks up to the stranger sitting at Donna's desk and asks her where Donna is. Hey, I recognize that woman. Don't let her make you smell that shoe. She appears to have changed catchphrases, asking Josh, "Who's Donna?" Josh tells her that Donna is the woman in whose chair she is sitting. "The blonde girl? I'm Marla Warsky. I'm covering this desk for a few days." Josh hones in on the fact that Marla is a temp, and assumes that Donna will be back in a few days. But the shoe woman does not let anyone live in a state of denial: "She got a new job, I think. I've got her cell, if you want to give her a call." Because that's the shoe woman. She'll take your deepest truths and shove them in your face. And make you smell them. Josh has a look of utter despair on his face as Marla holds up a post-it note for him. Don't smell it, Josh, whatever you do.

Beijing. Millie is telling C.J. and Abbey that she thinks they ought to pull Jed out of the meeting. C.J. thinks that if he's having any trouble, he'll let them know. Abbey agrees with C.J.: "The President's made his choice, Millie. He'll come out when he wants to come out." So, of course, he chooses that exact second to want to come out. Jed hands some papers to Kate, telling her to proofread them carefully: "Their translator's spelling ain't what he thinks it is." Curtis wheels Jed away, accompanied by Abbey and Millie. Kate starts looking at the documents as C.J. and Toby walk over to her. Toby asks what the papers are. Kate: "It's a seating arrangement. For North Korea talks." Ah, but did they write out the place cards while they were in there? And decide on the centerpieces? Because I've heard from my bride friends that those are the kinds of details you just can't leave to other people.

Josh walks into the doorway of an office that Leo is using. Josh: "Donna quit." Leo takes a second, and then says, "Donna Moss?" Is there another Donna? Maybe a secret, evil twin? (I'm also recapping The O.C. this week, so I'm trying to get into a soap opera mood.) Leo asks Josh if he pissed Donna off -- I think he should know the answer to that based purely on his own interactions with Josh. Leo's not the most comforting guy in the world, telling Josh, "Good for her. See, I tried to tell you this. People move on." Josh gets a look of steely determination in his eyes (tempered, I think, by a little love).

Josh walks over to Marla's desk and says, "I need you to make me a plane reservation as quickly as you can. I need to go to Houston." Marla: "Texas?" Josh confirms his and starts to walk away. But the shoe woman does not just jump when you tell her to: "Hold on, hold on, let me get a pen." Josh just yells to another assistant to get him on the plane to Houston. He gives Marla a really cold look and stalks off. Some posters on the forums have complained that we finally get an African-American administrative assistant on the show and she turns out to be much less competent than all the other (white) assistants we've seen. I can see the point, but I think the real reason Marla is not a good assistant is because she's a temp. And we all know temps suck.

Air Force One. The posse is walking down a corridor, and C.J. is quite thrilled with the agreement, telling Jed, "I could kiss you on your married mouth." Abbey tells her to watch it. They discuss some of the details of the agreement. C.J. tells Jed, "You got potential, sir. You oughta think about running for office." C.J. is looking for a phone so that she can call Leo: "I want to tell Leo McGarry that this sonofagun just blasted us a North Korea summit. The man is a force of nature." Toby is just upset that there is no recording of the negotiations for posterity.

In Jed's office (the Flying O, I think I'll call it, assuming we ever see it again), Millie tells Jed, "They're planning a ticker tape parade out there." Abbey notices that Jed is soaked: "You've sweat right through your clothes." She asks Curtis to help Jed out of the chair, when Jed weakly tells her that he needs a minute. Abbey calls to Millie, and the two of them start loosening Jed's tie and collar.

In the main cabin, C.J. is on a phone filling Leo in on the details of the upcoming multilateral North Korea summit. She's laughing and talking about how great Jed was when she sees what look to be flight officers (and perhaps the unseen flight doctor?) walking into the Flying O. She tells Leo that she'll need to call him back. As she and Toby look down the hallway and into the office, they see medical personnel hovering over Jed. Abbey walks to the door of the office and closes it.

Josh walks up a walkway of a house in what the subtitle tells us is Houston, Texas. What, no street address? Or maybe the relative humidity? Josh knocks on a door. Through a window, we can see a Happy Holiday Family Scene (trademark, the Hallmark Corporation). From inside the house, we see Matt Santos walk to the door. He sure has a lot of kids. Because, you know, he's Hispanic. He's totally dumsquizzled to see Josh at the door: "Wow. Hi. You lost?" Josh: "Could be. Could be." Santos invites him in, and Josh apologizes for disturbing him at home: "I'm on a bit of a deadline. It's a filing deadline." Santos tells Josh that he's not running for Congress again. Josh: "I'm not talking about Congress." Josh and Santos stare into each other's eyes as Mrs. Santos asks her husband if he knows where the tinsel is. I'm sorry, Mrs. Santos, but I think your husband knows exactly where the tinsel is now, if you know what I mean. Fade to black.

See you after the break. Enjoy the holiday of your choice (or the one your family shoves down your throat).