So it's another serious and emotionally gripping episode. If I'd realized that this show was a drama, I'm not sure I would have signed on to recap it. ["But you're stuck with it now. No backsies!" -- Wing Chun]
We open on John Hoynes, our favorite ex-Vice-President, in a televised interview with someone named Dianne. A subtitle tells us that it's Friday night. Hoynes is promoting his new book. We see Jed tying a bowtie and listening to the interview in the background. Jed seems to be having some difficulty with his tie. After fumbling for a few minutes, he gives up and walks away from the mirror.
Cut to Josh watching the interview. At first I thought he was in his office, but it's also possible that he's in his apartment. (Of course, these scenes are all set at night, so everyone has all his or her lights turned off. Because that's what people do.) We hear Dianne say that she hates to interrupt Hoynes, but that she has a question for him. I hate it when people say that they "hate to do" something and then go ahead and do it. Nobody's forcing you, Dianne. If you really hated it, you could just say no. In any case, Dianne asks Hoynes if he's saying "we're on the wrong track." Hoynes establishes that he thinks the present administration has done a fine job, and that he has "no ill will towards the President or Leo McGarry."
The interview audio recedes into the background (kind of like Bradley Whitford's hairline) as C.J., dressed in a fabulous dress, walks into Toby's office. I know that recappers might have given a detailed description of the dress, but I'm not that kind of gay man. Suffice it to say, C.J. looks amazing. She tells Toby that someone (I couldn't make out who) is in the East Room watching the run-through, and then asks Toby what he's reading. He holds up the volume in his hands, and we can see that it's Hoynes's book. Unfortunately, I couldn't make out the title. C.J. asks Toby where he got it, and he tells her that Will had a copy. She's surprised to hear that Will gave it to Toby, but he tells her that he "borrowed" it. C.J. is "sure it's illuminating." When Toby asks her if she wants to know how many times she's mentioned, she just says "No," as she looks over at the Hoynes interview on a monitor. She's also not interested in hearing how many times Toby was mentioned, but when he asks her if she wants to know how many times Josh was mentioned, she looks at him and quietly asks, "How is Josh?" Although she may have been asking "Where is Josh," or even "What is Josh." It was nearly impossible to make out the first word of that sentence. In response to whatever question it was, Toby says, "Josh is...he'll be fine."
Josh walks into the assistants' pit and says something in what's supposed to be Chinese to Donna. She's as unimpressed as I am, saying, "Whatever, you're early." Josh points out that it's dinnertime in Beijing. She asks him if he heard that Hoynes is doing Dianne Mathers "tomorrow night." And because they think we're idiots, the producers also put up a subtitle telling us that it is Thursday morning. That insult is followed by actual injury, as the subtitle tells us that it is "One Day Earlier." Well, the subtitle didn't cause the injury -- that was me, smacking my head on the coffee table. When I come to, I find that Josh is asking Donna to do little things in preparation for the China summit (like get him a converter for his electric shaver), while she wants to talk about Hoynes. Apparently, Hoynes has already called for Josh twice this morning. Josh continues to ignore everything she says about Hoynes, and tells her that he can't find his garment bag. Donna: "I think baggage claim is in the terminal over." Josh: "You used to love it when I couldn't dress myself without you." Donna: "I used to love peppermint ice cream too, but now those little pieces of candy, they get stuck in your teeth in a way I find irritating." By the way, Donna has lost the crutches completely, so I think we're supposed to realize that at least several weeks have passed since the last episode. If only they would give us some subtitles to help us determine exactly how much time has passed.
Toby and Kate are meeting with two Chinese diplomats to discuss the details of the summit. Kate's hair has finally reached the style that we've been seeing in the credits all season, so there is nothing left to mock. The Chinese diplomats are going into minute detail about the preparations. Toby is clearly impatient with the meeting, and keeps trying to agree to things to rush the conversation along. Kate barely says a word, and I really can't tell what she's supposed to be feeling in this scene. She keeps touching her face and staring down at the table -- I'm not sure if she's supposed to be bored or if she's in the early stages of heroin withdrawal. Just as the topic turns to the menu for one of the breakfast meetings, Toby sees C.J. almost walk into the room before noticing that it was occupied, and rudely excuses himself from the meeting.
C.J. is in the corridor when Charlie walks up to her and hands her a thick binder. She asks what it is and he tells her that it's the nuclear non-proliferation briefing packet. She's surprised to hear that he completed it so quickly, and he asks if he gets extra credit. C.J.: "You want a gold star?" Not to beat a dead horse, but I know plenty of forum posters who could find ways to reward Charlie's diligence. Charlie lets C.J. know that he'd be happy with another assignment. After he walks away, C.J. turns a corner (leading me to believe that she was trying to go through the conference room as a shortcut) and finds herself face-to-face with Toby. He tells her that the meeting has devolved to the point of planning the breakfast menu: "They're picking fortune cookies." C.J.: "I always thought fortune cookies were an American invention, like pizza and the Frisbee." And would you really serve fortune cookies at breakfast? Toby asks her to get him out of the meeting, and she tells him to take it up with Josh. She also calls him "Rocko." He argues that he doesn't report to Josh, but she reminds him that, as Chief of Staff, she has put Josh in charge of preparations for the summit, so he's really acting with her authority when he assigns Toby to handle these meetings. Except she uses a lot more words to say it, and she spits them out like a machine gun. Toby: "I can't believe you're making me go back in there." C.J.: "Uh uh uh uh. Not I. Josh. That's the beauty of it. See how this thing works?" And with that she leaves him to his breakfast planning.
“ Jed grumbles that the Smithsonian hasn't come calling. Debbie: 'I'm sure they'll take a greater interest in you once you're dead.' I always hope for Debbie to have a little more involvement in some actual plot, but as long as she continues to cut down Jed's ginormous ego, I won't complain too much. ”
Debbie is in the Oval with Jed. She hands him something to sign so that his 25th amendment letter can be retrieved from his personal archives. Jed: "They want me to step down again?" She tells him that it's being loaned out for an exhibit at the National Constitution Center. Jed: "I solve Middle East peace, fix Social Security, and they want the piece of paper I used to remove myself from office." Debbie points out that it's the National Constitution Center. Jed grumbles that the Smithsonian hasn't come calling. Debbie: "I'm sure they'll take a greater interest in you once you're dead." I always hope for Debbie to have a little more involvement in some actual plot, but as long as she continues to cut down Jed's ginormous ego, I won't complain too much. She also gives Jed the bios for the Medal of Arts winners for tomorrow night's gala. So tomorrow night -- that would be Saturday, right? (I've grown so dependent on subtitles I can't figure these things out for myself anymore). Oh no, wait, it must Friday. Debbie's heard a rumor that there's going to be a surprise musical guest at the gala: "I always loved Jerry Garcia." Jed: "If I'm not mistaken, he's unavailable." Debbie: "Hence the surprise."
C.J. and Kate enter the office. Kate asks Jed if he received a flag at the prayer breakfast. He recites a partial list of the gifts he received that morning. Kate is completely unamused, and she describes the flag to him. (The flower, by the way, is a chrysanthemum.) Jed tells them that he gave everything to his new body man, whose name he once again forgets. (Or, since this happening before the pre-credits scene, maybe we should drop the "once again" part.) Charlie is also in the room, and he tells C.J. that Curtis should have turned everything over to the Gifts Unit. At the Gifts Unit, "it's got to be tagged, catalogued, photographed, and appraised. It could be decades before you see that thing again." C.J. wants it sooner, so Charlie heads down to the Gifts Unit to retrieve the flag. Jed asks Kate and C.J. how serious the problem is. Kate thinks that China will want the flag returned publicly. She also thinks that they'll want a statement that the U.S. does not support Taiwanese independence, "and maybe tattoo 'There's only one China' on all our foreheads." Jed's not too keen on the tattoo idea. Kate heads out. Jed puts on his jacket, and he doesn't actually do a coat-flip. It's more of a sideways coat swing. I've been wondering if that was a deliberate attempt to let us see some of the symptoms of his MS episode. (Which is certainly how I've been taking his unfocused speech and mannerisms this week.) If so, nice work, Mr. Sheen. C.J. asks Jed if he wants to consult with the Secretary of State. He's not sure why he would. C.J.: "I just thought, if you were reconsidering our policy on Taiwan..." Jed doesn't know why C.J. would think that, and she points out that engaging in politics through a non-accidental accident is his style. But Jed insists that he just did not notice the flag in the midst of everything else he received. He asks her if they're done, and then leaves the office. It must suck to be Jed's Secretary of State -- ignored, excluded from major negotiations, and generally out of the loop. Kind of like being Colin Powell. Commercials.