On the Day Before

Previously on The West Wing: Hard to say, because my VCR was slow off the mark when I taped it on CTV, and when I tried to catch it again on NBC, these scenes were abruptly cut off for some reason. All I caught was that the staff came to POTUS to recommend he veto the repeal of the estate tax.

Some guy in a grey trench coat, followed by a uniformed security guard, walks down to an office through empty halls. He's carrying what looks like a large, very shallow rectangular box; it's dark blue and has silver embossing on the lid. Without knocking, he and the security guard -- whom we shall call Silent Bob -- enter a door marked Office of the Executive Clerk. The room is even darker than the Situation Room usually is. A baby-faced staffer greets Trenchcoat, who asks if the staffer is Dolan. Babyface is. Trenchcoat is Kovolesky. Babyface says they spoke on the phone, and that he's the only one there now, but that there are usually seven of them. Trenchcoat doesn't care. Babyface says he's new, and it's the end of his second week. Dude, I guess that's why you're working late on Friday night and everyone else is knocking back beverages containing "colourless volatile inflammable liquids forming intoxicating elements" somewhere else. Trenchcoat wonders whether Babyface knows what to do. He does; he's supposed to phone the Deputy Chief of Staff (Josh, for those of you who were late coming to the party. We'll embrace the fact that you showed up at all). Trenchcoat tells him to tell Josh that the Clerk of the House has delivered a bill, and then he's supposed to bring it to POTUS for his signature or veto. Babyface has got it. Trenchcoat and Silent Bob leave. Babyface phones Josh's office.

Upstairs...Red Alert! Red Alert! Major 'shipper moment. Donna is tying a bow tie around Josh's neck; he's in a tuxedo. Woo: spousally suggestive caretaking in close physical proximity. I think we're going to need a drool mop-up in Aisle Seven. Donna wants to know why Josh doesn't just wear a pre-tied tie. Well, how about because those are dweeby? Josh agrees with me; it's not the same. Donna claims it looks the same. Josh says, "The end of the night, you want to be able to pull it open like Tony Bennett." Donna: "You think the tie's the only thing standing between you and Tony Bennett?" Josh: "He's also shorter than I am." And Italian. Donna asks when he's bringing Buckland back to the office; Josh was going to do it before the entree. Donna suggests that doing it after the entree would be more polite. Josh wonders whether there's etiquette for this. She's still tying his tie during all this, by the way, for those of you who won't be able to see this episode for a while but can't resist spoiling yourselves by reading the recaps. Yeah, I'm looking at you over there in West Wollongong. She says there isn't; he asks, "Then why are you bothering me?" Now the tie is more or less tied, but Donna seems to be fussing with it to prolong the moment. Josh's phone starts ringing as she tells him that she needs to talk to him about something. Josh points out that his phone is ringing. She ignores it while she asks again whether they can talk sometime that night, maybe after the cheese course? At the mention of a cheese course, I imagine Wing shouting a mighty "Word!" to that. He doesn't really answer her, but just prompts her to get the phone, already. She does; the bill has arrived. Josh has donned his jacket, and he leaves, telling her to call around.

The scene opens with a shot of C.J. wrestling her feet into a pair of dressy shoes with four-inch heels. She's ordering Toby, "Quiz me." He's leaning against her door, hands in pockets, looking vaguely uncomfortable -- or, in other words, pretty much like he always does. He is not in a tux; I guess he won't be going to this soire. He says, "I don't think I will." We see a shot of C.J. wearing a stunning one-shouldered red dress and a sparkly necklace. She looks divine, of course. She insists, "Quiz me." Toby replies, "You're a lively conversationalist. You won't have any problem --" "Quiz me!" C.J. orders. He asks who she's sitting to; she replies, "Dr. Kary B. Mullis, the recipient of the 1993 Nobel Prize for Chemistry, born 1944 in North Carolina. He earned his Bachelor's degree from Georgia Tech and his Ph.D in Biochemistry from my alma mater, UC Berkeley." She gets up and walks around behind her desk. Toby says that if Dr. Mullis only wants to talk about where he's from and where he went to school, C.J. will be fine. Carol appears to tell them the bill is there. Toby takes off immediately; C.J. says she'll meet him over there.

Out in the hall, Toby runs into Sam (in shirtsleeves; not invited to the ball either), who says that the Social Office called to tell him that seven Republicans who had indicated they would attend the dinner are not showing up now. They pedeconference as Toby says they knew that might happen. They talk about whether they should put off the veto. Toby says that both POTUS and C.J. have announced that the President's going to veto the bill, and he's going to do it.

Leo and Jed are walking along the portico outside the Oval Office. They are wearing matching penguin suits. Leo tells Jed there's an emergency meeting of the Republican leadership. That can't be good. Jed wonders what Leo thinks they're going to talk about. Leo: "I think they're planning a surprise party." Jed suggests they could have left after the entree. So he and Donna are on the same wavelength. He says they're going to miss "hot pumpkin soup with a cheese gnocchi and a chvre brioche." Leo dutifully mutters, "Yeah." Jed continues: "That's a pretty big price to pay just to override my veto."

Jed and Leo enter the Oval Office. Leo muses, "Maybe they think they've got the votes..." Jed: "What are you saying?" Leo thinks something might have shifted in the last couple of hours. Leo says they just sent the bill up five minutes ago; he wonders why they'd schedule a meeting for right now? Jed says, "So I'd think twice about vetoing." Leo thought so, too. Jed: "And now?"

Situation Room. Leo comes in and asks Nancy, "What do we know?" She reports, "Keyhole sees twelve Israeli F-15s on the tarmac at Hatzerim Air Base." Leo: "What are they armed with?" Nancy: "Eight AIM sidewinders. Pilots are in the cockpits, we see heat plumes." A dude in uniform adds, "We also got ten Douglas A.H. Apache Longbows airborne from Betzet. They're armed with Hellfires." Leo inquires as to whether there's any chance it's a training exercise. Nancy: "It's always a training exercise." Yeah. Leo's told by one of the suits that they think the targets are the Abu Sneni Bab and Al-Sheik neighbourhoods in Hebron, a police station in Ramallah, and Al-Watan, the Hamas newspaper. He adds, "But we could be wrong about all of that." Leo asks about Arab reaction. Another suit says that Egypt will call for an immediate Arab summit if Israel retaliates. Leo: "Nancy, what about the C-4?" Nancy replies, "Good, 'cause this is what's interesting. The Agency indicates that the bomber had ties to Abdul Mujib." May I just say, props for getting this Arabic name right? Sometimes TV shows and movies take it upon themselves to make up Arabic names which for various reasons are really unlikely to exist. Abdul is a combination of the Arabic words abd ("servant" or "slave") and the preposition ul (sometimes rendered al or el), "of." And according to Islamic concepts, it should only be coupled with certain words, most of which are known as the Ninety-Nine Names of God, words that describe the attributes of God. You're not supposed to simply name a child after one of these attributes alone, e.g., Mujib ("The Answerer") or Jabbar ("The Compeller"); that is considered extremely disrespectful, practically equivalent to naming your kid "God" in English (urban legends about Grace Slick notwithstanding). Such a name should always be prefaced with Abdul, which is why you hear so many Muslim names that include that combination. (And Abdullah simply means "Servant of God.") And obviously, it's important to avoid coupling "Abdul" with the name of anything other than God. Now, of course, not all Arabic names correspond to a Muslim person. However, people on TV shows with Arabic names are rarely supposed to be anything but Muslim. I think it's safe to assume in this case that the bomber is to be understood to be Muslim. Anyway, this viewer appreciates them getting it right. Leo: "Really? Well, that may be our way out." He seems hopeful. He turns to a woman in uniform and says, "Sally, I need to see the President." He leaves.

Carol comes to C.J.'s door and says the networks want to take her live the time she briefs: "Is that okay?" It is. Carol informs her that Sherri Wexler's about to do her stand-up. C.J. asks, "The station can't send somebody over who knows what she's doing?" Carol: "She thinks she knows what she's doing." Carol sits down. C.J. asks, "I have to watch this?" Carol supportively says, "I thought you showed great restraint in there before." C.J. replies, "'Walk softly...' and do something else." Carol: "'Carry a big stick.'" C.J.: "Yeah. Walk softly. Walk around." Carol turns up the TV. Wexler concludes her little blurb about the bombing and the veto by saying, "It's a tense night here, Alan, as staffers and press burn the midnight oil." Alan, the anchor, inquires, "Sherri, going back to the suicide bomber, you say the White House can't confirm whether Americans were involved, yet other news outlets..." Sherri interjects, "Yes, I should say the press secretary, C.J. Cregg, can't confirm if Americans were involved. It's not clear the extent to which C.J. is in the loop on this." Shot of Carol looking concerned and glancing sidelong at C.J., who looks mildly irritated. Sherri prattles on, "I can tell you, she's changed her clothes several times throughout the evening." C.J. looks at Carol. The anchor, naturally not expecting this superficial trajectory of prattle, asks her to say that again; he doesn't seem to have caught it. Sherri cattily says, "I say, C.J. Cregg's known to be a bit of a clotheshorse, and perhaps she's missed some information during one of her wardrobe changes." Did I already use the word "tool"? C.J. doesn't say anything; she just looks disgusted. She snaps off the TV and says, "Well. Turns out she did know what she was doing." Carol's like a bulldog: "You want me to take care of it?" C.J. says quite placidly: "I'll take care of it."

Sam and Toby approach Margaret's desk. She tells them that Leo will be back in a moment. Toby spots someone and says he'll be right back. Yup. It's Toby's turn to lobby Charlie. Before Toby even opens his mouth, Charlie says, "I can't talk about it." Toby objects, "You didn't know what I was going to say!" Charlie: "Immunity?" Toby, dismayed: "Yeah." Charlie restates his position. Toby mutters, "Coulda been talking about a flu vaccine." Charlie says, "That's immunization."

Leo's back and calls Toby toward his office. In his office, he asks Sam and Toby what's happening. Toby sighs, and tells him they've given Kimball a one-year moratorium on an increase in grazing fees, support for an increase in the production flexibility contracts, and a promise not to lower agricultural export subsidies. "We're up to a tougher FDA crackdown on the illegal use of antibiotics in milk." Josh shows up. Leo's incredulous: "Are you kid--" "Swear to God," replies Toby. Leo asks Josh about Buckland. Josh confirms that Buckland definitely wants a seat at the table. Well, with hot pumpkin soup with cheese gnocchi and a chvre brioche on the menu, who among us would not? Toby asks, "How far do we go with these guys?" Josh asks, "Can I offer Buckland...?" Leo: "No." Josh: "Well, he's gonna keep mouthing off..." Leo cries, "I don't care! Take him out!" He's fed up. "Enough's enough! First Victor Campos, then Kimball and his band of four, then Buckland? Let him know we're going to put it out that he tried to blackmail the President unless he caved to industry on clean air, clean water, climate control...and worker safety. Emphasize work safety -- that'll get him in good with the unions." Josh objects, "Everyone'll know the leak came from us." Leo: "Yeah." He seems pleased, but the guys seem uncertain about this course of action. Time for a Leo parable to reassure everybody. He begins, "You know what? Bill Russell was getting eaten alive 'cause they could never get him to throw an elbow. He didn't want to do it. So Red Auerbach told him to do it one time. 'Throw an elbow in a nationally televised game. You'll never have to do it again.' You bet your ass they'll know the leak came from us. Toby, whatever's on the table in there, take it or leave it." Fortunately, while I didn't know who Bill Russell and Red Auerbach are/were, or even what sport was being referenced, I got the moral of the story. They all thank him and leave.

Outside in the hall, Sam has an idea: "What's on the table...don't you...grazing fees, farm nets, milk subsidies...what's on the table? Aren't they the same things a farm-district Republican would want?" Toby says yeah and rubs his head, but doesn't see where Sam's going. Sam: "Let's offer it to them." Toby: "Offer it to who?" Sam: "Republicans. Royce. He'll carry six Republicans. That'll be seven votes. First off, when Kimball and his four see we're going to win, they'll hop on board, so we've got a bigger margin. Second, C.J. can make a big deal out of bipartisanship. But mostly..." Toby: "We threw an elbow." Sam: "On national TV."

Toby's gears are grinding. He heads for his office to kick Kimball to the curb. Kimball's ready to pick up where they left off, but Toby simply says "No." Kimball patronizes him, warning, "Well, I wouldn't be so quick to say no." Toby: "I think I will." Kimball: "No to the FDA crackdown?" Toby: "No to...everything." Kimball's confused. Toby starts enumerating all the things he's rejecting: everything they've discussed. Kimball looks peeved but says nothing. Toby politely says, "We're going to need the room. Would you mind, Congressman?" Kimball starts to say something, but Sam interjects, "Congressman? We're a little pressed for time." Kimball leaves with a semi-dirty look. Kimball says, "Good luck." Sam thanks him. Toby asks Ginger to get Pennsylvania Congressman Robert Royce on the phone. Sam says, "Okay, well...now this really needs to work." Toby sits down, looking fairly unconvinced.

Jed drops in on Abby, who's sick in bed. She's reading. I wish I could see what the book is. I always want to know what people on my favourite shows are reading. ["I thought I saw something that looked like 'Harry S. Truman.'" -- Wing Chun] Abby warns Jed to stay away: "I'm like a petri dish over here." Stockard Channing recently broke her ankle, but I don't know if she had done so by the time this was shot. If so, I guess that's at least partly why she's laid up in bed. Someone in the forums suggested that perhaps Jed's meant to catch her cold and become sick himself, prompting concerns about his health, but given the enormous number of people with whom the President comes into physical contact each day, I can't imagine that there's no other way for him to contract a cold. He agrees that she's "pretty gross." But he says it in such a way that you know he doesn't mean it at all. She asks how the dinner is; he says it's good. He tells her about the bombing. She asks how old the Levys were; they were nineteen and twenty-one. Jed wonders whether she's spoken with Zoey today. Abby replies that she hasn't. Jed says, "I thought the deal was, she calls once a day?" "She calls most days," Abby replies. Jed wants her to call every day. Abby agrees. Where is Zoey, anyway? She seems to have gone the way of Mandy, Danny, Mallory...but I don't really miss any of them. I kind of miss Zoey, especially since she made Charlie happy. Jed gets up, kisses Abby on the top of her head, and asks whether she needs anything. She says she doesn't. And it's time for the third commercial break.

Sam and Toby are meeting with Royce, who says, "I want to make sure I understand this: you're offering a one-year moratorium on grazing fees, a GAO review of the need for a stronger farm safety net, a promise not to lower agricultural export subsidies, and a tougher FDA crackdown on what?" Sam: "The illegal use of antibiotics in milk." Royce: "In exchange for my vote to sustain the veto?" Toby adds, "And the six that come with you?" They confirm, in answer to his questions, that this is the same deal they offered to Kimball, and that he was ready to take it. Royce says, "I don't want it," and takes a sip from a coffee mug. Toby and Sam remain calm. Toby ventures, "Congressman, you've been uneasy about the estate tax from the beginning." Royce admits that, but says, "And yet, the White House did what it always does: it went to the extreme flank of its own party. Which meant more arm wrestling, more dealmaking, God knows how many billions wasted in pork-barrel promises..." Sam asks, "What are you saying?" Royce replies, "That the moderates get shut out! Let me tell you something: the idea of repealing the estate tax makes me embarrassed to be a Republican. We used to be about the sensible centre, about fiscal discipline. A tax break for billionaires?" He snorts. "Of course this thing should be vetoed! It was a Republican named Oliver Wendell Holmes who said, 'Taxes are the price we pay for a civilized society.'" If so, given the state of things, I want a refund. Royce tells Josh and Sam, "Don't target me for defeat. I'm vulnerable in my district. The DNC will run a conservative Democrat. If he's elected, he won't even be photographed with the President, much less vote with him. Take a look around at all the Democrats running from you right now. Do you even know who your friends are anymore?" Sam looks kind of like a scared little boy. Toby asks, "If we do our best to see that you're not seriously challenged...?" Royce: "You have seven new votes tonight." He pauses and says, "Oh, and, uh...throw in the milk thing." Toby stands and shakes his hand, saying, "Go vote, Congressman." Sam shakes his hand, and Royce leaves.

Out in the hall, Royce passes Leo. Leo looks at him with slight curiosity, and Royce just says, "You're home." Leo walks over to where Toby and Sam are, and gives them a proud smile. Toby is typically low-key, but Sam straightens up a wee bit and smiles back. Leo sees Charlie in the hall and says, "You. Get in here."

In his office, Leo tells Charlie, "Take the immunity." Charlie: "I'm not allowed..." Leo: "Take it." Charlie asks, "Is anyone else taking it?" Leo tells him it's not being offered to anyone else. Charlie asks, "Would they take it if they were?" Leo responds, "Charlie, who the hell knows what's going to happen with this prosecution? It's a partisan prosecution. You could go broke! You could be barred from law school!" Charlie looks concerned. He asks, "Doesn't immunity imply guilt?" Leo says, "Not necessarily." Charlie continues, "And if someone in my position took a deal to protect himself, what would that person be saying to his employer?" Who, in this case, also happens to be his girlfriend's father. "That they were wrong to trust him." Leo's annoyed: "Don't be a hero." Charlie: "Why not? I'll stay with my team. People should stop trying to get me not to do that." Ah, God love ya, Charlie. You've got all the integrity in the world but it ain't gonna pay the rent. It's going to get you eaten alive in Washington. But you're so my boyfriend. Margaret knocks and enters. Charlie says, as he leaves, "Anyway, I'm not supposed to talk about it." Nancy comes in to tell Leo that Palestinian police arrested Abdul Mujib at his residence in Gaza. Leo seems relieved. He hollers for Margaret; she comes in, and he asks her to get C.J. on the phone. He adds, "And see if there's still any food over there." Poor Leo. Has he ever once gotten through a fancy dinner party without an international crisis to handle?

Josh returns from the dinner, and stops by Donna's desk as he's taking off his tie, saying, "I got away with this thing, but you should really learn how to tie a bow tie." Donna says, without much oopmh, "Or you could." Josh admits, "Yeah, but that doesn't seem that likely, right?" No, it doesn't. He says she can go home. She says she'll stick around. He suddenly remembers that she wanted to talk to him about something earlier. She says, with a smile that seems forced, "Listen...I was fixed up on a blind date a few nights ago." Boy, does she have Josh's full attention: "When?" he asks. He seems to be trying to keep his expression somewhat neutral, but he makes these very subtle gestures with his shoulder and jaw that convey his sense of unease. She just says that it was a few nights ago, and that Ainsley fixed them up: "He's a Republican lawyer working for Ways and Means but he was being transferred. And it turns out now that he's on Government Oversight..." Josh doesn't waste a moment in declaring, "You can't see him anymore." Donna knows that. He repeats, "You can't see him anymore." She repeats, "I know that." He asks, "It was just that night?" She says, "Yeah." Somehow I've had the feeling since the beginning of this show that it wasn't. She hesitates and then confesses, "No...we got together the night again. We shouldn't have." Josh doesn't look at her; his eyes are lowered as he propels as much frustration he's willing to show into struggling with the top button on his shirt. He says, "Yeah." Donna, "Look, when we got together the first time..." Finally getting his collar open and looking at Donna, Josh says, "You just thought he was on Ways and Means who I was battling on the estate tax." He seems really disappointed in her; he seems to feel really betrayed. It does seem that any personal jealousy he might be feeling is taking a back seat to his professional concerns. She says, "I'm sorry..." Josh: "Did any reporters see you?" Donna: "No." Josh: "The second night?" Donna: "No." But how can you ever be sure? ["If they were in...you know, her apartment. Not to cast aspersions on Ms. Moss's character, but that's what I thought." -- Wing Chun] Josh gives Donna a cold stare. "All right. You can go home." Donna indicates that the President wants to see Josh in five minutes. He says, "Thanks," and goes into his office. He doesn't slam the door, but he does close it pretty firmly.

C.J. has a last press briefing about the apprehension of Abdul Mujib. A reporter asks whether POTUS urged the Chairman to hand over Abdul Mujib; C.J. replies that POTUS urged the parties to honour the terms of the cease-fire, and reiterated the United States's commitment to the peace process. Katie asks whether it's true that the President threatened to withhold $100 million in aid to Palestinian NGOs unless Abdul Mujib was handed over. C.J. says that there will be more on the details of the diplomatic exchange tomorrow. She mentions that the House is getting ready to vote on the override of the President's veto, and she knows they'll all want to report on that: "Since this is the President's first veto, I thought it might be helpful if we brushed up on the rules. Sherri, can you tell us how many votes it takes to override a veto?" Sherri seems surprised: "I'm sorry?" C.J. repeats the question, and Sherri quickly says, "A majority." C.J. says, "Actually, it takes two thirds." Sherri pleasantly says, "Yes, a two-thirds majority." C.J.: "Yeah, 290. And how many votes does it take to sustain?" Sherri attempts not to look like a dumb-ass caught in the headlights, and gives C.J. a quizzical look. C.J. says, "That should be easy. You just subtract 290 from the total number of members in the House, and add one." Sherri nods compliantly. "How many people sit in the House of Representatives, Sherri?" C.J. asks. The other reporters glance at Sherri, in the exact way that we all did in high school when someone was being excoriated by a teacher and we knew the kid didn't have a clue or a hope. Sherri is silent and tries to keep her composure. It's 435 by the way; even as a Canadian I knew that. ["I didn't, but I knew NaCl!" -- Wing Chun] C.J. concludes, "Okay, maybe you can get the notes from a classmate." Dissed and dismissed. Quite entertaining, but way too easy for someone of C.J.'s calibre; it's fish in a barrel, man! C.J. ate twits like Sherri for breakfast when she was twelve years old. C.J. ends the briefing.

Out in the hall, Carol scurries up behind C.J. to tell her that the staff is meeting in the Oval Office. Sherri comes out of the Briefing Room and confronts C.J.: "That was totally uncalled for." C.J. keeps walking. "Yeah?" Sherri: "My competitors are going to show that tape. Every local station..." C.J. interjects: "What? Are you crazy? That thing's going out to 154 affiliates! I changed my clothes because I didn't think it was appropriate to talk about the death of two teenagers while wearing a ball gown, and you knew that. Because you're stupid, but you're not stupid, you know what I'm saying? Security's going to take your press credentials. You'll call my office every day and I'll decide if you get into the room. I'm taking your spot on Pebble Beach. You can do your stand-ups from Lafayette Park." Sherri, "Who the hell..." C.J.: "One more word out of your mouth and every local station in town but yours gets an exclusive with the President. Hunting season on me is over." Sherri gives her a stink-eye and leaves. C.J. quietly adds, "And the chemical abbreviation for table salt is NaCl."