Previously on The West Wing: Abby wanted to know when Jed decided to run again, but Jed said he hadn't made that decision; Leo told the story of Andrew Jackson's big block of cheese, which somehow inspired what Toby calls "Throw Open Our Office Doors To People Who Want To Discuss Things We Could [sic] Care Less About Day."
Shout-out to kqog.
As the title appears on the black screen, we can just barely hear the strains of Don Henley's "New York Minute," (from the lyrics of which this episode's title is drawn). I figured from knowing the title that the song might be featured in the episode, but it was odd to hear such a comparatively contemporary song on this show. It definitely set a different tone. I try not to think about that episode of Friends where Marcel the monkey swallows some Scrabble™ tiles. ["I tried too. I was not successful." -- Wing Chun] The scene opens with a shot of Washington at dawn; the sky is almost tropical colours of pink, orange, and lavender. Inside the West Wing, mailguys are starting to deliver things, security guards are changing shifts, janitorial staff are cleaning the floors...it's very, very early. We see Leo entering the building.
The shot is of someone curled up sleeping on a couch; it's Sam. As Leo passes Toby's office, he notices Sam on the couch and comes in to rouse him. Sam wakes up, groggily asking what day it is. Leo tells him it's Friday. Sam then asks what time it is. Leo asks whether Sam slept here last night. Sam explains that he doesn't have a couch in his office. Leo: "Yeah, but you have a bed in your house, right?" Sam states, "I need to change my shirt." Leo suggests that perhaps Sam needs to go home for a while. Sam asks Leo what he's doing at work so early. Leo explains that he's trying to avoid the protesters.
As Sam puts on his jacket and walks with Leo, Leo explains the Byzantine route he had to take to get to work, what with all the road blocks, closings, and police cordons -- including one around the National Geographic Society. Sam wonders who has a problem with the NGS. Leo'd like to know the answer to that, too. Sam says, "Anyway, I'm going to change my shirt." As Sam starts to go, Leo asks, "What's going on with the pardon recommendations?" Sam replies, "They're coming together. I've reviewed the recommendations from Justice and the OPA, and Tribby's office had its own recommendations." Leo asks how many he's sending in. Sam says, "Eighteen, I think, now. Mail fraud, securities fraud, and truly the most bogus drug bust I've ever seen." Leo advises him not to retry the cases. Sam says that he's not -- he's just reading the material he's supposed to read and making the recommendations he's supposed to make. He adds, "The guy was tried in Spain and found guilty of a crime he was obviously too stupid to commit." Leo says, "Sam...go home, would ya?" Sam insists that he's just going to change his shirt. Leo: "You look bad. You're tired, you slept in the office, it's Friday...go home." Sam: "Why?" Leo: "Because I think you're putting too much faith in the magical powers of a new shirt." Leo mentions that Josh told him what happened with Sam's parents. Sam's expression is mostly one of disillusionment. Leo goes on to say that his father had affairs. Sam: "Did he? My father didn't pick up a cocktail waitress, Leo. He's had a woman in an apartment in Santa Monica..." Leo: "Yeah?" Sam: "...For twenty-eight years." Leo wonders how his father got caught. Sam responds, "My father, it turns out, is stupider than the guy in Spain. So the real question is, how did he not get caught until now?" Leo acknowledges this: "Yeah." Sam leaves, saying that he'll see Leo at the staff meeting later.
“ Leo: 'Except it wouldn't be Big Block of Cheese Day without the speech, now, would it?' Josh: 'Well, let's find out -- maybe it would.' ”
Leo follows Sam out into the hall (the walls of which are a beautiful golden yellow colour that I love) and asks him when he found out. Sam says that it was Tuesday. Leo asks, "You slept here the last three nights?" Sam says he didn't. Leo tells him again to go home. Sam says he's going to check the final OPA list: "In fact, I'll be checking it twice...see who's been naughty, see who's been nice." Leo says, "Sam..." Sam shrugs, "Life goes on, Leo. Certainly the federal government does, so...thanks. But let's drop it, okay?" Leo agrees. Sam changes the subject: "They're expecting trouble at the National Geographic Society?" Leo admits that he has no explanation for it. Sam: "Well, those little postcards they stick in the subscription magazines drive me out of my mind, so maybe..." Leo: "Yeah." Sam walks toward his office, past Ginger; she's on the phone to someone telling them it's 6:35 AM and that she's opened the Communications Office. Credits.
Later that same morning, Leo's standing at the doorway of Josh's office, as Josh gets himself organized. Josh says, "It's a good speech." Leo says, "The Andrew Jackson speech?" Josh says yeah. Leo agrees that it is. Josh says, "And it gets better every year, but..." Leo: "What?" Josh: "You're not gonna give it, right?" Leo says he is, because it's Big Block of Cheese Day. Woohoo! Josh points out that they all know it's Big Block of Cheese Day, and that they know why it's called Big Block of Cheese Day, so there's really no need for the speech. Leo counters, "Except it wouldn't be Big Block of Cheese Day without the speech, now, would it?" Josh: "Well, let's find out -- maybe it would." Leo asks Josh how he got to work this morning; Josh says he walked. Leo asks what it's like out there; Josh says it's pretty loud.
As he and Josh walk toward the meeting, Leo mentions that World Policy Studies is holding a forum this morning and that he's sending Toby. Josh thinks that's a good idea, mainly because it means Leo's not sending him. Leo seems to get really annoyed, but before he can say anything, Josh says, "Look, Leo, the World Bank and the WTO are international organizations of which the U.S. is one member. Why isn't Switzerland the one?" Leo responds, "'Cause they're not protesting in Switzerland, they're protesting on Eighteenth Street, and I don't want to be asked how come no one from the White House ever met with them." Josh thinks that sounds reasonable. Leo: "I can't tell you how relieved I am to have your approval on that." Josh: "But you're still going to do the speech." As they reach the door of the meeting room, Leo stops and says, "Got to! A little thing called team morale, Josh. You gotta make people feel good about themselves."
As he and Josh enter the noisy, staff-filled room, Leo says, "All right! Shut the hell up, everybody. I've fired more people than you before breakfast." Everybody shuts the hell up. As Margaret hands out assignments, Leo launches into the Andrew Jackson speech, which is met with mild groaning. Leo is explaining that Andrew Jackson kept a big, huge block of cheese in the White House main foyer (which he, like way too many Americans and too many Canadians, pronounces to rhyme with "lawyer," which it really should not). C.J. interrupts to ask who made these assignments. Leo suggests that things will go faster if he's not interrupted, but C.J. is complaining about having to meet with a group called Cartographers for Social Equality, and would like to know what mapmakers have to do with social equality. ["Glark would like me to mention that he correctly predicted what the cartographers would have to do with social equality." -- Wing Chun] Leo guesses that she's about to find out. C.J. replies, "Well, probably not, because I won't really be listening to them." Leo returns to the hugeness of the block of cheese, but someone else -- part of the pair that I believe is "Larry and Ed," except I can't remember which one's Larry and which one's Ed -- interrupts to offer to trade his meeting (with NIH representatives seeking funding for research on cancer treatment involving shark cartilage) for C.J.'s meeting (with the mapmakers). The other half of the Larry/Ed pair offers to take the NIH off his hands in exchange for his meeting with Citizens for D.C. Statehood. (Yeah, that's all we need.) The first guy says to forget it. Donna mentions that she has the Kemps-Ridley Sea Turtle Society, but that she's keeping it. Leo says, "You're all keeping it! I'm sure Margaret worked long and hard to make sure the appropriate petitioner went to the appropriate staffer." Margaret, standing behind Leo, shakes her head "no," but when Leo turns to look at her for affirmation, probably wondering why she's silent since she so rarely is at these moments, she starts nodding to Leo. He carries on the speech: "The block of cheese was two tons, and was there for any and all who might be hungry..."
“ Jed, looking down at the desk while writing something, asks, 'What plaid flannel- wearing, cheese- eating yahoo of a milkman governor signed that idiot bill into state law?' Wait for it. Charlie wisely says nothing. Jed looks up, takes off his glasses and asks Charlie, 'It was me, wasn't it?' ”
Donna walks up and greets a woman named Stephanie in the hallway. They embrace warmly and Stephanie whispers to Donna that she looks great. Donna asks why she's talking so quietly; Stephanie says that she doesn't want to shout. Donna says that they can use their normal voices. Stephanie explains that she's never been in the White House; Donna says that, later tonight, she'll give Stephanie a tour. They're not allowed to give tours until 10 PM, after POTUS is out of the West Wing. Stephanie asks whether the President works until 10 PM; Donna says that he usually works later than that, but that he leaves the Oval Office then. Donna leads her toward Josh's office. Stephanie's concerned that she's gotten Donna out of something important; Donna reassures her that it was just the Big Block of Cheese Day meeting. Stephanie naturally asks about Big Block of Cheese Day; Donna explains Leo's policy of designating a day for certain senior staff members to take appointments with people or groups who wouldn't normally have the ear of the White House. Stephanie asks whether Donna was able to mention her to Sam; Donna hasn't been able to yet, and apologizes, saying that it's been a bad week for Sam. Stephanie says that it's okay, it's just that she's heard that POTUS listens to Sam Seaborn when it comes to.... She doesn't finish. Donna says, "Yeah." Donna pauses and then says, "I should have said this on the phone. I'm not that comfortable...it puts him in an awkward position if he has to say no, and something like this, if it seems like a favour...Steph, is your dad dying?" Stephanie nods slightly. Donna says, "Okay, listen. When we're in with Sam, mention what you just said before, that from everything you've heard, he's the man. He'll want to impress you and show you that he's got access to the President." Stephanie asks, "Wait a minute -- you're really getting me in to see him? It's really all right?" Donna lightly says, "Yeah. It's Big Block of Cheese Day." She picks up Josh's phone and calls someone -- Sam's assistant Cathy, I guess -- and tells her she needs some time with Sam. And we, apparently, need some time with our sponsors.
POTUS is pedeconferencing with a bunch of suits, one of whom wants him to look at the ten-year numbers for something. POTUS doesn't want to: "Have the ten-year projections ever been close to accurate?" First Suit says, "Depends on what you mean by 'close.'" POTUS: "Within a trillion dollars?" First Suit replies, "No sir, but we'd like you to take a look at them anyway." POTUS relents: "Okay, bring me the ten-year projections, a Ouija board, and a magic wand." First Suit replies, "Yes, sir." If I were that guy, I'd really bring POTUS all that stuff, but I just know First Suit is too humourless for that. POTUS dumps the suits and catches up with Charlie, asking him what's as they walk toward the Oval Office. Charlie says he needs a moment to discuss a fax from Jonathan Bartlet. Jed: "That name sounds familiar." Charlie says that he's Jed's brother. Jed: "Yes! I remember being locked in a steamer trunk." Charlie thinks that doesn't sound so bad. Jed points out, "There were actual steamers in there with me, Charlie. I was in there with seafood." ["I just want to comment here that when POTUS referred to 'actual steamers,' Glark and I thought he meant something quite different. But then, we're four." -- Wing Chun] Anyway, Jed figures out that the fax is about losing the site, or at least, their first choice of site. Charlie explains that his brother's been speaking with Neda Wallin (at least I think that's what Charlie says; might have been Anita) who is counsel to the Bartlet Presidential Library Commission; it seems the proposed site violates the Historic Barn and Bridges Preservation Act. Jed prompts, "Which says...?" Charlie reads from his notes: "Requires that all non-housing farm and ranch structures built prior to 1900 be preserved by the owners unless destroyed by an act of God." Jed, looking down at the desk while writing something, asks, "What plaid flannel-wearing, cheese-eating yahoo of a milkman governor signed that idiot bill into state law?" Wait for it. Charlie wisely says nothing. Jed looks up, takes off his glasses and asks Charlie, "It was me, wasn't it?" Charlie: "Yes, sir." Jed agrees that they can go ahead with the second site. Charlie leaves to dispense with that task, but before he can get out the door, Jed changes his mind and asks Charlie to tell his brother just to hang on for a while, and he'll make a decision: "I don't know what the damn hurry is."
“ Toby: 'How many different ways do you know to kill a man?' Rhonda: 'How many different ways do I need?' Toby: 'I like you.' ”
Sam asks Bonnie for the ten-year OMB projections. She asks, "Are those ever accurate?" He says no as she hands him a phone message. Donna and Stephanie show up and Donna introduces him to Stephanie Gault. They all go into Sam's office, where Donna explains that she and Stephanie went to school together, where they bonded as a result of mutual loathing for the same ex-boyfriend (Dr. Free Ride, I presume?), and that Stephanie is an associate professor of international relations at the Maxwell School. Sam asks what she's doing in town. Stephanie indicates that she advises the WTO in certain areas of macroeconomics. She adds, "So a global monetary crisis can't be very far off." Sam asks what he can do for her. Stephanie mentions that her grandfather was Daniel Gault; Sam seems somewhat surprised by this, but we can't tell yet whether he's impressed by this fact. He asks Donna whether she knows who Daniel Gault was. Donna says that he was a White House staffer in the 1940s. Sam elaborates, "He was a Special Economic Assistant to FDR, and Special Liaison to State for Eastern European Affairs." Sam kind of hesitates, and Stephanie volunteers that Donna knows the rest. Donna continues, "He was jailed for espionage and died in prison six months later." Sam clarifies that he wasn't actually jailed for espionage -- since they couldn't make that case against him -- but rather for perjury, for lying in front of HUAC (the House Un-American Activities Committee). Donna tells Sam that Stephanie would like her grandfather to be included on the list of people being considered for a Presidential pardon. Stephanie gives him her "you have the ear of the President" pitch. Sam looks vaguely uncomfortable. He points out, "It's impossible to demonstrate remorse since he's no longer alive. Demonstrating his innocence is extremely complicated." Stephanie agrees with that, but says that Sam has already done it. Sam's puzzled. Stephanie claims that Sam has already demonstrated his innocence, in an extraordinarily compelling way, and has eloquently argued for his being pardoned. Sam seems to have no recollection of this, and asks when he did that, as Stephanie pulls out a thick document and puts it in front of him. She says, "At Princeton. For twenty-three pages in the middle of your thesis." Sam seems quite uncomfortable and looks at the document, and not her, as he asks where she got it. Stephanie says he sent it to her father. Sam says he did. Stephanie says, "I know it doesn't seem there should be much of a rush about getting a pardon for someone who's been dead for fifty years, but time has become a factor." Sam figures out that her father's sick. Sam suddenly asks whether Donna and Stephanie want to go to the mess and get some coffee. They all troop off.
Toby's in the back of the car being driven to the site of the World Policy Studies meeting. He's reading the paper and whistling as we see him driving past lots of shouting protesters. A cop comes up to the window, and Toby tells him his name; the guard radios the name to another cop who's waiting by the door. When Toby enters the building, still whistling nonchalantly, she introduces herself as Rhonda Sachs. She's played by Roma Maffia, which strikes me as a name that can't be all that easy to bear through one's life. She says that they've asked her to make sure he goes home in one piece. Toby: "How many different ways do you know to kill a man?" Rhonda: "How many different ways do I need?" Toby: "I like you." She thanks him; he tells her it's going to be a day at the beach.