By LTG
I don't know how John Wells expects us to swallow this crap. As if anyone could possibly believe that the moron from Texas would really get more votes than the smart war hero from New England. Does Wells really think the American people are that stupid?
Oh, wait. These seem to be my notes from Tuesday night, not Wednesday night. Let me start over. (Although I still have a sneaking suspicion that Wells is behind everything bad in our society, including the election results.)
A black SUV pulls up in front of the White House. Josh, Toby, and Will are in the SUV, wearing the same clothes they had on at the end of the last episode, when we saw them climb into the gas-guzzling earth destroyer. Except that they seem to be sitting in different positions. And Kate is not with them. Did they lose her? Did they get so tired of her always being right that they shoved her out of the car on the highway? Where is she? Oh, I've got it -- they must have dropped her off at the hair salon. My new theory about the bangs is that, as a young woman, Kate took an oath that she would never cut her bangs until there was peace in the Middle East. Now that she has single-handedly brought about that peace, it's finally time for a trim. Just to further mess with the continuity freaks, the pavement in the White House driveway is wet after the rain that we saw at Camp David. So they got the clothes and the weather right, but messed up on the seating arrangement and the identity of the people who were actually in the SUV. I guess two out of four isn't so bad -- for a student film. In the SUV, Josh is wondering whether the President should address a joint session of Congress, while Toby is on his cell phone trying to reach Leo. He keeps asking someone named "Signal" to try Leo's number again. As they get out of the SUV, Will says, "My fellow Americans. Please deposit fifty cents for three more paragraphs." I think I just have to give up trying to understand Will's lines. As Toby argues with the operator, Josh exposits that he has already tried to call Leo five times. As the three of them enter the White House, Will leaves Josh and Toby to go to his own office. Which, as you might recall, is not in the West Wing. Because he doesn't work for the President. Suddenly, Josh and Toby are accosted by Margaret, who tells them that the Republican leadership has been waiting twenty minutes in the Roosevelt room. Apparently, they had a meeting scheduled with Leo, and Margaret cannot find him anywhere.
Josh and Toby enter the Roosevelt room, still dressed in their casual camp clothes, and greet the Speaker and the Majority Leader. Josh explains that they are taking the meeting because "Leo's got a thing at Foggy Bottom." The Speaker: "He's got a thing?" I could make a joke about Leo's thing, but the man just had a heart attack, so I think I'll give him a break. Josh: "Yeah, who knows why he'd be busy. It's not like we brokered a major peace deal last night." Josh has a giddy little grin by the end of this speech. You know he just loves being able to stick it in the face of the Republicans after they were so hostile to the idea of a summit. However, as Josh continues to brag to the Speaker and Majority Leader, Toby keeps trying to soften the gloating. The Republicans make it clear that, regardless of how successful the summit was, they are not just going to roll over and agree to fund the peacekeepers without getting something in return. What they want is a $300 expansion of the child tax credit, and they want the White House to get sixty Democrats to vote for it. Without support for the tax cut, the Republicans won't schedule a vote to fund the peacekeeping mission.
Cut to Charlie, who hangs up a phone and walks into the Oval Office. He tells Jed that Signal is still trying to reach Leo. Jed is speaking to Debbie, saying, "Let's get a little flow chart going. State calls the foreign ministers and I call the heads of state. Like tag-team wrestling without the body slams." After the last two episodes, I fully expected Debbie to give Jed a look and walk out of the room, but she actually speaks: "All set to pile-drive Germany, sir." As she leaves the office, Toby and Josh enter. Jed starts to tell them that he wants to line up as much international support as possible before the signing, and that after the signing they will have to start dealing with the Knesset and the leadership of Hamas. The Wonder Twins break the news about the Republican demand for a tax cut. Josh thinks they should agree to it, but Toby wants to wait for Leo. Just then, Charlie enters, and tells Jed that "Barracks Security found Leo in the woods at Camp David. They think it's a massive heart attack." But fear not: Leo is not dead. Unless they would take the effort to fly a corpse to Bethesda Naval. Credits.
Massive pedeconference in the halls of the West Wing. I see Abbey, Jed, C.J., Toby, Josh, and Charlie. And there may be some more people hidden in the back of the pack. Abbey is explaining to the group that Leo was unconscious for a long time, and that every minute without treatment following a major heart attack can mean muscle damage. When C.J. and Toby ask for more specifics, she explains that they just don't know yet. Jed: "These are supposed to be the best thoracic surgeons in the world. What the hell do they know?" Abbey: "That time is muscle, Jed. They're going to do everything they can." They exit the White House, where a limo is waiting. Abbey tells everyone that there is no need for them all to come to the hospital, since Leo will be out for hours. Charlie will call back if there are any updates. Josh asks Jed if they should consider delaying the signing of the peace agreement, but the President reassures him that he will be back in time. He tells them to work on getting a quick vote on peacekeeping and a show of international support. "A Security Council resolution would be ideal." With that, he climbs into the limo and the motorcade takes off. In the limo, Abbey holds Jed's hand. He looks quite scared.
Cut to the wheels of a gurney being rolled down a hospital corridor. Assorted medical personnel are talking about Leo's condition. As they enter an elevator, one medical dude says, "Mr. McGarry, do you understand me?" Cut to a shot of Leo's gaunt and sweaty face, oxygen mask in place, as he gives a slight nod. The medical dude tells him that he has near total blockage in two of the major arteries in his heart. If that's true, it's very difficult for me to see how he could have survived his many hours alone in the woods without treatment.
C.J., Toby, and Josh are in Josh's office talking about Leo. Josh: "He looked pale last night. I just thought it was a White House tan." Toby: "Can we never use that expression again?" Josh says that Leo should have taken better care of himself, just as he's about to stuff a donut in his piehole. C.J. grabs the donut, gives Josh a look, and sets the donut down on his desk. Is there not a trash can in the office? And with that, they stop discussing Leo and move on to discussing work. I agree with the numerous forum posters who called bullshit on this scene. It's just not believable to me that these three people could so easily move on from the news they got about Leo. They quickly discuss the things that are already arranged -- the signing ceremony, Jed's remarks. C.J. tells Toby she heard that he's scheduled an interagency meeting on mental health and homelessness: "That's a good idea." But Toby has rescheduled the meeting: "We're in the middle of an intersection without a traffic cop. If we want, we can run things through me." Wait, is Toby volunteering to get run over? And I must point out that this suggestion is very hard to square with Toby's claim later in the episode. Josh: "If we want?" Toby: "I'm talking about a process." Josh: "And if we want to sacrifice livestock in your name?" I'm pretty sure there's a commandment about that. Toby: "Fine. A decision-making tree." C.J.: "How about you be the Communications Director, you be the Deputy Chief of Staff? We can use the old barn for a stage." So she's already starting the day in a classic movie kind of mood. They decide to release a statement about Leo's medical condition. Toby says that the main focus at the moment needs to be demonstrating that the peace agreement can hold. Josh and Toby run together some nonsensical sentences pulled from their earlier meeting with the Republican leadership that are supposed to let C.J. know about the demand for a tax cut but that actually leave her completely confused. After C.J. leaves to release the statement about Leo, Josh and Toby discuss a strategy for getting Democratic support for the tax cut. Josh tells Toby to start with the leading Democrats on Ways and Means, since they can deliver thirty or forty votes right away. Toby tells Josh that they should not discuss any specifics.
As C.J. enters her office, she calls to Carol and tells her to contact the State Department and begin gathering statements of support from any Security Council members. "If we get 'em all, it can make a Security Council resolution seem like a done deal." Just then, Toby walks by her office and makes the same suggestion: "We can tell the President it was your idea." As soon as Toby walks away, Josh walks in and makes the same suggestion: "I got your back on this." As Josh walks away, C.J. tells Carol, "This day's going to be an absolute nightmare." You said it, sister.
The hospital. Abbey is reading through Leo's chart and grilling one of the doctors about Leo's condition and treatment. At the end of interrogation, the doctor says, "He was down a long time." Jed: "Time being muscle?" Doc: "Yes sir."
Josh and C.J. pedeconference toward her office. He tells her that he'll be gone for about an hour. She tells him that State already has language drafted for a Security Council resolution, and he says he heard that Russia was on board. She tells him that Indonesia is threatening to vote against it, and "Turkmenistan's banging on cans for no reason I can fathom." Josh tells her not to comment on Turkmenistan, because its leader is insane: "He created a holiday for his favorite melon...He mandated that the Turkmen people gnaw on bones like dogs to strengthen their teeth." This is not far from the truth. Josh advises that they ignore him, and that he will eventually fall in line. When C.J. asks him where he's going, Josh tells her that he's meeting Donna's plane, which is landing at Andrews Air Force base. Again, this calls for a rousing chorus of "bullshit." Donna underwent major surgery approximately five days ago -- there is simply no way she would be in any position to fly that quickly. As Josh turns to leave C.J.'s office, he snags a donut from a tray of them to her door. She chastises him: "Leo's having his chest cracked open and all morning you've been heading toward a high fructose coma." Josh: "I just eat this stuff when it's around." C.J.: "Which is all the time." She says that she'd like to see him survive past the age of twelve, and tells him that if he can stay off the junk food for one week, she'll cook him dinner that weekend. Josh: "Wearing an apron and one of those floppy hats?" C.J.: "Wearing anything you like." On seeing the look that comes over his face, she backtracks a bit. "I mean...you know perfectly well what I mean." He accepts the challenge, and throws the donut away into the trash can she's holding up.
Jed must have made it back for the signing of the peace accord, because he and Abbey are watching footage of the signing on a television in the hospital waiting room. Lest you picture Jed waiting in an uncomfortable chair surrounded by sick and crazy people, let me point out that this seems to be a special presidential waiting room. Right now it just contains Jed, Abbey, Charlie, and at least one Secret Service agent. Abbey is telling Jed that stress causes a physical reaction that contributes to the likelihood of a heart attack. (Something like the effect caused by watching this show.) She tells him that unless he "wanted [Leo] meditating his way through intelligence briefings and sleeping in a flotation tank, there's nothing you did..." Jed: "I fired him." Abbey: "What?" Jed: "Last night, at Camp David, I fired him. What does that do to the flow of blood?"
Cut to an unnecessarily gruesome shot of Leo's surgery. I refuse to recap this, on the grounds that this is not ER. Commercials.
Toby's office, where he is meeting with a member of Congress. The Congressman (for man it is) tells Toby that the President did a great thing at Camp David, and asks about Leo's health. Toby: "They're trying to stabilize his pressure." Congressman: "What does that mean, exactly?" Toby: "No idea, but I wish they'd do it to me." Toby asks for Congressman's support for the tax cut. It turns out that Congressman is all for the idea, and is willing to deliver as many votes as he can. But he wants Toby to promise that the President won't support a cap on the number of children eligible for the tax credit. Apparently, there are deficit hawks who have floated this exact idea.
And Josh is meeting with two of those deficit hawks. There is a huge plate of brownies sitting in front of Josh. Josh tells them (the deficit hawks, not the brownies) that he understands their concern about the deficit, but that the leadership won't authorize a vote on peacekeeping without something to grease the skids. Deficit Hawk #1: "Fine. Just go easy on the grease." Deficit Hawk #2: "Not too much grease." Heh. Josh points out that there is already an income cap on the child tax credit, and asks them what else they want. Can you guess what they suggest? Yes, they propose limiting the number of children eligible for the credit to three or four per family. Josh points out that only a tiny percentage of families have more than four children, but Deficit Hawk #1 wants to send a message "about social responsibility as well as fiscal." Deficit Hawk #2: "Social and fiscal." Deficit Hawk #1: "Peacekeeping is about to explode the deficit. We should subsidize every Rube Goldberg's reproductive glands?" What the...? I mean, what? Did Will start righting speeches for Deficit Hawk #1? What the fuck does that mean? Oh, and once again, I have to call (sing it with me) "bullshit" on this storyline. Leaving aside the partisan complaint that it's Democrats who normally support middle-class tax relief like expanding the child tax credit (whereas Republicans are more likely to support child poisoning tax credits), there is simply not a single elected official in the U.S. government who would seriously propose placing a cap on the number of children covered by such a credit. It's as likely as someone proposing mandatory euthanasia for all people over age ninety as a way to preserve Medicare. It's just beyond the realm of acceptable political discourse in the U.S.
C.J. pedeconferences with Carol, who tells her that Leo's bypass surgery just began. She also tells C.J. that Josh is meeting with House Democrats, if she wants to sit in. Just then, C.J. walks past the conference room in which Josh is holding said meeting, takes a few more steps, and then heads back. She stands in the doorway, and we see that Josh has a brownie on a plate in front of him, fork poised to dig in. Josh sees C.J. and slides the plate across the table to Deficit Hawk #2. C.J. continues walking down the hall, but stops at a doorway and turns back again. Once again, Josh has just put a brownie on a plate. He sees her and slides that plate across the table to Deficit Hawk #1, who interrupts his own speechifying to say "Thanks." C.J. marches into the room, excuses herself, picks up the platter of brownies, and tells Deficit Hawks #s 1 and 2 that Josh is diabetic and that she hasn't had any lunch.
Toby walks up to Charlie's desk. Charlie tells him that the damage to Leo's heart was pretty severe, and that they had to restart his heart after they took off the clamp. Toby tells Charlie that he wants to see Jed before he heads back to the hospital, and Charlie tells him that Jed is meeting with Will. Toby: "Why is he in with Will?" Don't we all want to know. Charlie tells Toby that it shouldn't be long. Toby asks Charlie if it's true that he finished his courses at Georgetown. Charlie tells him that he still has some requirements to complete. Toby: "Besides courses?" Charlie: "A swim test, stuff like that." Toby asks Charlie to let him know when "Will paddles back to the shallow end."
C.J.'s office. She's meeting with three reporters. Two of them ask questions about the peace accord, and C.J. gives them snappy answers. One of them asks about Leo, and C.J. tells them that he is still in surgery. After she dismisses them, one of them sticks around for a few seconds. He asks her if it's going to be Josh or Toby. C.J.: "What?" "The new White House Chief of Staff." C.J.: "'Gee C.J., I'm sorry your boss and dear friend is sprawled across an operating table having his veins harvested, but I do think it's kind of neat that the President single-handedly forged a major peace deal. Why don't I write about it until my typewriter is tangled up in ribbon.'" The reporter has his own snappy comeback. "'Jeepers, Brock, you care about Leo too, but there's a power vacuum here, and your editors don't accept puff pieces, and you haven't used a typewriter since the Coolidge administration.'" They argue about whether C.J. would ever say "jeepers." Brock points out the many ways in which the question of who is filling in for Leo is a serious story, and tells her that he can sit on it for a day or two before he'll have to write some kind of story about it.
Debbie enters the Office of O. while Jed is on the phone, reassuring someone that Congress will schedule a vote on funding the peacekeeping troops. He hangs up the phone and tells Debbie that he'll do the rest of "these" (presumably the calls to heads of state seeking support for the peacekeeping mission) from Bethesda. Debbie tells him that she has never been prouder to work at the White House than she was that day, "when the Chairman and the Prime Minister shook hands, and you..." Jed: "Watched them shake hands?" Debbie tells Jed that Leo would be proud, and then corrects herself to say that he will be proud. Jed points out that Leo had reservations about the deal. Debbie: "I'm not saying it won't blow up in your face." Josh enters, and Debbie exits. Josh tries to get Jed's opinion on the issue of capping the number of children eligible for the child tax credit, but Jed just tells him to get a vote on peacekeeping. As Jed is walking out of the office, Josh screws up his courage and says, "You know, if you want anyone working out of Leo's office, just shout if you need anything...." But Jed gives him a look that is pretty equivalent to the wrath coming down from on high, and Josh trails off by telling him that he will let Jed know when a vote is scheduled.
Toby walks into his office, where C.J. and Will are waiting for him. Toby asks Will how his meeting with the President went. Will: "He asked me to pitch in." Toby: "I'm surprised you didn't pitch a tent." Such hostility. C.J. asks if they can discuss some business before they head to the hospital. She tells Toby that Lebanon has come out against the accord, and that France may oppose it "until Congress acts. They don't want to get stuck doing all the peacekeeping." Will says that the president of Turkmenistan is claiming that he flipped Lebanon. Just then, Josh enters the office and cries out, "He's lying!" He calls the Turkmen president a nutjob dictator, and C.J. tells Josh that he's a bounder and a cheat. Josh: "You tried to entrap me with those brownies." But C.J. disclaims any responsibility for the brownies. Toby points out that Jed wants a unanimous Security Council resolution, and that they've just lost three countries. Josh proposes having the State Department lean on France, but they all realize that the Secretary of State has not been returning any of their phone calls. Well, that's what you get when you freeze the country's chief diplomat out of one of the most important diplomatic events of the last ten years. C.J. suggests that things would go a lot more smoothly if they could get the sixty Democratic votes for the tax cut so that they could get Congressional approval for the peacekeeping forces. Toby says that he has twenty-three votes lines up, and Josh says that he has twenty-seven. But then Toby says that he had to promise not to support a cap on the number of children in order to get those votes, while Josh admits that he agreed to support a cap to get his votes. They yell at each other over the fact that they weren't supposed to discuss specifics. C.J. suggests that they get an estimate from the Treasury Department -- perhaps if the cap won't actually save that much money, the deficit hawks will agree to give it up. And in an attempt to find more votes, they decide to meet with some backbenchers who have called Leo's office to request meetings. Will asks what they're going to do about Turkmenistan. Josh: "It's a nation of Labradors run by Zeppo Marx. Can we please forget about Turkmenistan?" Through the last several lines, they have been marching down the corridor, headed to a vehicle that will take them to the hospital.
Hospital. Bethesda Naval seems to have invited some lighting engineers to visit from Germany -- it's incredibly dark through this scene. Jed and Abbey are concerned that Leo has been on a pump for five hours. In the darkness, I can barely see Margaret sitting on a couch, working on a laptop. Toby, Josh, Will, and C.J. enter the room. Jed tells them that they are still waiting. Will: "We know. Mallory told us downstairs." Oh. "Downstairs." That's where Mallory has been. And does Will even know Mallory? Toby asks Jed for a moment of his time. They walk into the corridor. Toby starts to ask about tomorrow's schedule, and Jed tells him that he will be staying at the hospital. Toby: "Sir, you have to name an interim Chief of Staff." Jed: "Leo is my interim Chief of Staff." Toby points out that they are fumbling on the tax bill and on getting international support. Jed thinks they are doing fine, based on that day's news coverage. But Toby points out that eventually there will be a third-day story, and that story will be "that Congress doesn't want to pay, that our coalition's fraying, that the spokes are coming off the wheel." Toby thinks that Jed must have had a process in place in case Leo was unable to serve, but Jed didn't, and he doesn't want to discuss it. Toby gives the tritest line of the episode: "Leo is one person, and there's two hundred and ninety million more and they come first." Throughout this entire scene, Jed's eyes are bulging out and his forehead is super-shiny. He looks like the Red Skull. Abbey walks up to them and tells them that the bypass is complete, but that Leo's heart would not function without the pump. They are going to try again in a few hours, but in the meantime, she and Jed need to speak with Mallory about possible options. Toby walks away. Commercials.
The day after Leo's surgery, Josh is wheeling Donna's wheelchair into the White House, telling her about the outcome of Leo's surgery. Donna is a marvel of modern medicine -- less than seven days after her chest was cracked open, she's been able to take a transatlantic flight and return to work. And she looks fabulous. It must be something in the German water. C.J. sees them and runs over to say hello to Donna and give her a kiss. She has to run off for something or other, but as she goes, she tells Josh, "You're weak and you know you're weak." Josh: "Belly up to the griddle, Griselda." Donna: "Are we opening a restaurant?" Josh explains that C.J. is trying to trap him, but that "she's going down like a cheap pair of salad tongs." Donna looks as confused by that statement as I am. Josh runs off to get a call and leaves Donna stranded in a corridor.
Toby is meeting with the Speaker at the Capitol. He's very gently explaining the problems they are having in lining up Democratic votes, in light of the fact that half of the members they've found want a cap, and half don't want one. Toby tells him that they are still working on it, but that "the President is hoping that Congress could vote on peacekeeping first." To help make that happen, Toby is there to offer the President's support for a $400 increase to the child tax credit. The Speaker seems to be considering this when he gets a phone call. It's Josh, whom the Speaker puts on speakerphone. Heh. Josh tells the Speaker that the President freaked out about the idea of the tax credit. "I may be able to talk him down, but you're going to have to move on peacekeeping now." Toby lets Josh know that he's there with the Speaker. The Speaker tells them that he wants sixty votes, or there will be no vote on peacekeeping, and then he has to leave for a quorum call. Josh's voice comes out of the speakerphone: "The thing about good cop/bad cop, it usually helps..." Toby reaches over and hangs up the phone.
Donna is sitting at her desk when Josh walks up and tells her he needs to know when Toby returns. He walks away and then comes back, asking her to get him the Democratic whip. As he's walking away again, Donna says, "You know there's an intercom?" He calls out her name and starts to make one more trip to her cubicle when he crashes into someone carrying a plate full of donuts. He ends up covered in jelly and fried dough.
C.J. is walking down the corridor when Brock calls out to her. Brock: "C.J. I hate to take your time with this." C.J., doing a mediocre Mae West, says, "What do you think my time's for, big boy?" Brock: "Don't do that, because now I have to do my lousy Cary Grant and you end up stealing the scene." Uh, Brock? I think I can guarantee that C.J. will steal just about any scene she has with you. You just have to learn to live with it. Brock once again asks who's the new White House Chief of Staff. C.J. jumps into some more screwball '30s movie schtick, saying "I'll tell you about him. His name's Leo McGarry, comes out of Chicago, an unconventional choice, sure." She tells him that Leo is out of surgery and should be out of the woods soon. Brock points out all the complications that Leo's surgery will cause -- complications that will prevent him from working for months. Brock tells C.J. that he's hearing rumors that Will is being considered. He tells her, "Will's proven he can manage upwards. A fully-fledged adult." Just as C.J. is reassuring Brock that Toby and Josh are both responsible adults, Josh charges into her office (still wearing his donut-encrusted raiment) and yells, "You can throw me in a vat of custard with a chocolate-covered snorkel, it's going to be you and me this weekend, baby! And you are wearing a floppy hat!" He throws the donut tray on her desk and storms out.
Toby is meeting with a member of Congress while walking between two Congressional office buildings. He asks the member for her support on the tax bill. She tells him that she wants to amend it to appoint a monarch for the United States. He chuckles, but she points out that she's reviewed the President's public schedule, and that she estimates that he spends just over half his time engaged in purely ceremonial duties: "On his trip to Argentina, he went to three state banquets and didn't do a damn thing for the pork producers in my state of Iowa." She tells him that if pork producers don't get some kind of tax relief, she'll introduce a pro-monarch amendment.
Josh is meeting with another member of Congress at the White House. This Congressman tells Josh that he's very disappointed that the Justice Department didn't file a brief in either the Oregon or Massachusetts same-sex marriage cases. Josh gets a little flustered, and tells him that they debated the question thoroughly and decided that it was not wise to get too far ahead of public opinion going into a presidential election year. (And yes, you are all absolutely correct that the show seems to have cut a year off Jed's second term. The presidential election in the West Wing universe should not take place until November 2006. This is just one more crime to lay at the feet of John Wells.) The Congressman says that he is aware of the political situation, and then tells Josh that he wants to introduce a bill to ban marriage. Josh thinks he's talking about a strategic move to introduce a bill to ban same-sex marriage, thereby putting opponents on the record. But Congressman Gay (for indeed he is) tells Josh that he wants to ban all marriage: "If the government can't make it available to everyone, I want us out of the business entirely. Leave it to churches and synagogues. And of course, um, casinos and department stores." Josh asks him if the Republicans put him up to this. Congressman Gay: "They don't condone my lifestyle, and I don't condone theirs." Well said, Congressman Gay. Well said. ["Yeah! You go, Congressman Fabulous!" -- Wing Chun]
Josh leaves his meeting and walks up to Donna's cubicle. He asks her if the Democratic leadership called to let him know that Congressman Gay wants to ban all marriage. She wonders who would take the idea seriously. Well, Donna, a number of religious congregations who believe that their religion calls on them to recognize same-sex marriages have refused to perform any legal wedding ceremonies until such time as the law recognizes all of the marriages they perform. But that's not the answer that Josh gives, as he tells her that the introduction of such a bill would be a bonanza for the religious right: "They'll be reenacting Caligula at the Republican convention." Donna: "You'd look cute in a toga and a dog collar." Josh gives her a sideways glance and says, "Thank you." She tells him that China is opposed to a Security Council resolution until Congress acts. "And the president of Turkmenistan told AP that he know of six more wavering votes." Josh: "No he doesn't! He's making that up!" At that moment, someone hands Josh two pizza boxes, telling him that they're from C.J. He takes them, and Donna jokingly says, "Send it to the president of Turkmenistan."
Hospital waiting room. Jed is on the phone with another head of state, seeking support for the peace agreement. As he hangs up with Madame President, Debbie approaches him and tells him that Charlie is bringing a clean change of clothes and more call sheets. Abbey tells Debbie to have him leave them at the White House. Jed says that he's staying at the hospital, but Abbey repeats, "Tell him to leave them at the White House." Debbie walks away, and Jed tells Abbey that he can make the calls from the hospital. Abbey: "You think this is your fault. It's not." Jed: "He's my best friend, and I'm not the kind of person who has best friends." Abbey: "Because your life is your work. And so is his. Your work." He asks her what he's trying to say, and she tells him that he and Leo chose this when they chose to run a country. Jed says that they will work around Leo's recovery -- that he can work half days. Abbey: "He's not gonna work half days. He's not gonna work around his recovery. He's not gonna do whatever it takes." Jed says that it should be Leo's decision, but Abbey says that they already know what Leo's decision will be. She's right up in Jed's face by this point. Jed: "So I should wake him up and fire him again? 'Cause that worked so well last time." Abbey tells Jed that he has to keep Leo away from the C.O.S. job: "He'll kill himself for you if you don't." Jed looks at her for a moment and then sits down heavily. A few seconds later, he calls out to Debbie and tells her that he is ready for his call. Man, Stockard Channing is so great in this role. Commercials.
C.J. walks into her office and calls out to Carol that England, Iceland, Canada, and Spain have all pledged troops for peacekeeping: "Does Canada even have troops? What do they do? Hurl those little bottles of maple syrup?" ["Yeah, when they're not getting accidentally killed by their ostensible allies. Shut up, fictional America." -- Wing Chun] Carol keeps trying to interrupt her as C.J. prepares to run to an economic briefing. Finally, Carol gets C.J. to shut up for a second so that she can tell her that Leo's heart is beating on its own.
Josh walks into his office, where Donna is going over some files. She tells him about Leo's heart. He takes something from one of the drawers in the credenza behind his desk. He walks over to Donna with a small box in his hand. She says, "What's this?" Josh: "A pen." Donna: "Am I having a bar mitzvah?" It's a pen from the signing of the peace agreement, the one that the Prime Minister used to write the 'h' in his name. "I tried to get the z but the Israeli ambassador beat me to it." Donna: "I didn't have anything to do with the peace agreement." Josh: "Let's just say you were a blood donor. I want to stop taking those for granted." She thanks him. Oh, for crying out loud, just tell her you love her, you dope! Sorry, I just couldn't keep it in any longer. Donna notices that the Treasury Secretary is being interviewed on television. Josh suggests that she's just spinning the peace deal, and then mutters that they should really "loop her in" on the tax cut. "Loop her in"? I hope nobody in our government actually says that. He turns up the volume just in time to hear the Treasury Secretary take a question on tax cuts. She says that she can guarantee that the President would not support a tax cut on top of the cost of peacekeeping. Josh runs out of the office.
Josh runs into Toby in the hall. They each saw what the Treasury Secretary just did. C.J. runs up to them and says, "When I suggested a Treasury estimate, I guess I assumed we told the Treasury Secretary, head of all federal tax policy, what in Alexander Hamilton's name we were doing!" Toby shakes his head no: "Good assumption, though." C.J. leaves to call the Secretary's press office to try to straighten out the mess. Toby tells Josh that the tax bill has become more expensive because he had to agree to give some tax benefit to pork producers. But Josh just promised Congressman Gay that he would not support any amendments at all. Again, they have a fight over the fact that they were not supposed to agree to any specifics. If this scene had a finger-poke in the eye and a big slap, it would be indistinguishable from classic Three Stooges. Toby points out that this wouldn't have happened if they had run things using a decision-making tree. Josh: "With you at the top?" Toby: "No, with you at the top." Josh is surprised to hear that. So am I, given Toby's statement earlier that he was willing to have them run everything through him. Toby tells Josh that he went to see the President earlier to suggest that Josh be given the job, but that Jed was not interested. Toby tells Josh that he's been trying for two days to hold his meeting on homelessness and mental health. Josh tells him that it's a great idea, and Toby admits that it came from Leo: "He didn't want to let the urgent crowd out the important." Josh: "It's getting harder to tell the difference." Toby: "Well, somebody ought to try."
C.J. is watching news coverage of the Speaker, who is talking about a "possible" U.S. role in the peacekeeping operation. She's ticked off by his statement. Will is in her office, and he tells her that the day's coverage was excellent. C.J.: "It's the little burst of warmth before you freeze to death." Will: "It's a little bit drafty in here, actually." She asks him to close the door, and then tells him that she's getting questions about the meeting he had with Jed. He tells her that Jed wanted his thoughts on possible NATO involvement in the peacekeeping mission. C.J. starts listing off NATO member countries. After a few seconds of this, she smiles and says, "Well, heavens to Murgatroyd." I think that a woman who would say "heavens to Murgatroyd" is liable to say "jeepers." While they had been focused on getting support from all of the members of the Security Council, they had scored support from all of the members of NATO. C.J. grabs Will and gives him a kiss on the cheek, and then opens her office door. Will asks C.J., "Does this mean you're cooking for me this weekend?" C.J.: "Not a chance." C.J. calls out to Carol to prepare a press release announcing the news: "We're moving the goal post and claiming the match."
Debbie walks out of the Near-Circular Office to find Toby and Josh waiting to see Jed. She tells them that Jed won't be there for long, so they had better get in while they can. Josh suggests that Toby go in first, because of the special relationship he has with Jed. Toby: "If by 'special' you mean 'bound for deportation.'" Debbie tells them that she doesn't know why they're so nervous. Jed isn't even that upset. Josh and Toby simultaneously turn to her and ask, "Really?" Debbie: "No, just kidding. He's ready to rip off his finger and light it like a cigarette." I wonder if that would qualify as low tar? Josh and Toby exchange a look and head in to see Jed.
Oval Office. As Toby and Josh enter, Jed tells them, "I'd like to know why my Treasury Secretary is on national television denouncing a tax cut I never saw because of an estimate I never asked for?" Josh points out that they did offer to brief Jed on the details. When he asks to be briefed now, there's dead silence. Josh tells him that they aren't quite ready to brief him yet. Jed points out that it was the leadership's only request before a peacekeeping vote, and that they messed it up. Toby tells him that they are close to the sixty votes they need. Josh jumps in, telling Jed, "It's just that you might face a decision on the fall legislative agenda." Jed: "What's that?" Toby: "Would you prefer a bill to appoint an American monarch?" Josh: "Or a ban on the institution of marriage, except in casinos and department stores?" Jed takes this in with a nod, and tells them to tell the Republican leadership that he is going to send the peacekeeping troops in, and that if they want to feed them or equip them or ever bring them back, they are going to have to vote to fund them. As Toby leaves, Jed calls out to Josh: "Perhaps you can shed some light on this State Department cable? 'Turkmenistan to U.S.: We didn't order these pizzas.'" Josh: "I bet you're thinking there's a really good explanation for that, sir." I'd like a really good explanation for how those pizzas got halfway around the world in a few hours.
Donna's cubicle. It is quite dark. Charlie stops by and welcomes her home. He tells her that Leo may be ready for visitors soon. Donna tells him that Zoey stopped by to see her, and told her that Charlie had finished at Georgetown. Charlie: "I wish she'd stop telling people that." Donna: "Why? If I had finished college, I'd be shouting it from the rooftops." Charlie: "We have snipers up there." Donna: "It was more of a metaphor." Charlie tells her that he still has to complete some paperwork and his swim test. Donna's surprised he's letting those things hold up his graduation. Charlie sits on the corner of her desk, and tells her, "When I started Georgetown, the President made me promise that when I got the degree, I'd leave this job." Donna: "Why would he want you to do that?" Charlie: "He doesn't want me holding his jacket the rest of my life." As he gets up to leave, Donna wishes him a happy almost-graduation. Charlie: "I'm not wearing a tassel. I don't care what they do to me." But would you wear two of them? Because I know some fans who might really like to see that.
Leo's hospital room. Again, there is no light. Jed enters and approaches Leo's bed. Leo whispers, "Mr. President." Jed tells him, in light of the morphine drip, to skip the formalities: "I might get one myself. Wheel it into meetings with the Joint Chiefs." Jed takes Leo's hand: "You're not fired, Leo. You can delegate, work part-time. Bring the morphine with you for all I care." Leo whispers to Jed, "Do you remember what you told me when you offered me the job?" Jed: "'I need you to jump off a cliff.'" Leo: "And I did. And I'd do it again. But you need a new chief of staff." Jed looks him in the eyes and says, "We came here to put the job first. Spend our lives with something that would outlast us. I just thought we'd have a longer line of credit, that's all. I'm gonna need that list of names." Leo: "Only one name."
Darkened waiting room. Somebody really needs to tell the lighting people that when it's nighttime, people are more likely to turn on the lights. C.J., Will, Josh, and Toby are all there. You can barely see Mallory in the room. But of course, she does not speak. She must have caught whatever Debbie had in the first two episodes. Every table in the room is covered with gift baskets. Josh accuses C.J. of planting all the baskets there to tempt him. C.J. tells him, "I promised Donna, no more traps." Josh: "It's like a torture chamber designed by a renegade Keebler elf." Jed enters, and everyone stands up. It kind of looks like they're all gathered there for a rose ceremony. He thanks them for the work they did over the last couple of days, and takes the blame on himself for things' not being as organized as they should have. But he expresses his confidence in their ability to fix things, and to make the peace agreement work. Then, with eyes that are just on the verge of tearing up, he tells them to go spend some time with his outgoing chief of staff. Abbey is also there, looking like she is near tears. Everyone files out of the room to see Leo. Shouldn't he really just have one visitor at a time? C.J. is conveniently the last person to leave the room, and Jed calls out to her. "C.J., there's something I need you to do for me." C.J.: "What's that?" Jed: "Jump off a cliff. We'll talk about it on the ride back." C.J. walks away, and with one look behind her, enters Leo's room.