By Deborah
Shout-out to maki.
Slow-mo flashbacks of a little girl riding a horse. Now it's grown-up Zoey. Little girl. Grown-up. Little girl. Jed calling Zoey. Horse falters. Child starts to fall. Bartlet wakes up from his nightmare.
Cut to Abby dozing on a couch, and a wide-eyed Zoey lying with her head on her mother's lap. Isn't that the side where her clavicle's broken or whatever? Bartlet walks up behind the couch. Zoey rouses herself from a glassy stare, turns to her father, and smiles: "Dad." Bartlet's expression is equal parts relief and concern.
As Leo arrives for work, Josh is impressing his boss by telling him a story about blowing about some toilets at a ballpark when he was younger. Leo: "Mm-hmm." Josh: "Cute girls were there...in shorts." Margaret sticks her head in to ask if Berryhill's supposed to be there. We know she doesn't like it when Leo makes his own appointments, but she doesn't say anything; she just has a mildly disapproving look. Leo says he made the appointment last night: "I put it on your...where you said." Is it just me, or have they been styling Margaret to be dowdier than usual this season? Leo calls Berryhill in; Berryhill asks if they read Berardi's resignation letter in the Post. Leo calls it "eloquent." Berryhill says it was a little old-fashioned. Josh: "'A little'? Aaron Burr's call to the interview at Weehawken was less stilted." Berryhill: "Berardi blunted his protest by making it a laundry list -- the bombings, the assassination...I thought he was going to go after our neckties." Leo asks about the Syrians. Berryhill says they're better, but probably afraid they're . He adds that there are regards to the First Family from Saudi Arabia and Cairo. Leo says that Berryhill's UN address went a long way. Josh tells Berryhill he's polling in the high sixties. Berryhill seems amused that they're polling on him: "You guys must be desperate for good news." Josh and Leo tell them that their first priority is to name a VPOTUS. Berryhill agrees. Leo: "So if your President asks, you'll serve?" Credits.
Bartlet's in the First Kitchen making some coffee or espresso or one of those complicated caffeine drinks that requires a $950 machine, but it sounds more like he's flushing an industrial toilet. Zoey commends him on having joined the twenty-first century. Jed: "Can we keep this between us?" Zoey: "In the office..." Jed: "I still take a plain, all-American cuppa joe." She asks if he's doing okay. He claims to be. Abby wanders in. Zoey: "I just wondered, because it is the fourth of July, and we've been up for twenty minutes..." Jed: "I'm saving the Founding Fathers 'til lunch." Hold up one damn second. It's the fourth of July? Zoey was abducted the night of her commencement, which was "5/7" as we were told in "Commencement." Even if you tried to spin that as "July 5" instead of May 7, it doesn't work. It was clearly early May when Zoey was abducted...and when Andi had her twins. This episode clearly takes place within a few days of Zoey's return, which is supported by the fact that they are still searching for a VPOTUS, and the fact that Huck Wyatt-Ziegler has his bris, traditionally observed on a baby boy's eighth day, during this episode. Yeah, I know they need to get the show back on track so that things like Christmas, winter, and elections will fall at the right times. But the time to catch up is after they've picked a VPOTUS and Zoey's recovered. It shouldn't be the Fourth of July now, and viewers shouldn't be expected not to notice the seven-week gaffe, and the only reason I can think of for it is so that they have an excuse for the anvilly fireworks at the end. Anyway, Zoey asks if lunch is still on, and he says it is, only if she's up to it. She knows. Abby says a groggy "Morning." Jed says the same back. There's no warmth there. Zoey asks if Abby smelled the coffee. Abby gripes, "I could hear it. Could that thing be any louder?" Then Ross gets married again...no, wait. Wrong show. Zoey leaves, saying she'll be right back to make Abby's drink. As she goes, Abby tells her to keep the ice on her arm, which is in a sling. Jed notes that Abby's not in a talkative mood, so he doesn't even try to initiate conversation. He just leaves. Maybe she's just upset that a small marsupial died where her hair used to be.
Josh, C.J., and Will are walking through the halls kvelling about the suitability of Berryhill for VPOTUS. Toby arrives and walks into his office saying that they need a war room. He wants someone from Counsel's office, someone from Legislative Affairs, etc., etc. Josh reminds them that Berryhill's already been through this as Secretary of State. Toby says he was confirmed by the Senate, not the House, and that they only have twenty-four hours to pull it together. They all yatter like a well-oiled machine about pushing Berryhill through. Toby: "Even a whiff of a whiff of a whiff of a rumour, we're ready to bat it down." C.J.: "Smart offense." Will: "Error-free ball." Josh: "Knock yourselves out, but he's a slam-dunk." Toby: "Okay, that's one too many sports metaphors." Whoa! Yooge shout-out to me. And way more than "one too many," by the way. Toby tells them he wants everything from Berryhill's public statements to his Post-It Notes. C.J. takes off to do a briefing. Will wonders if they can start booking Berryhill; Toby wants no interviews until they're sure he's going to be confirmed. Toby assures C.J. that this will go quickly enough for Berryhill to do the Sunday shows. They pedeconference as Toby says he doesn't want a "Help Wanted" sign hanging on the country for another news cycle. C.J. mentions that Zoey's public appearance today (which she calls a "pool spray") will occupy the media for a while. Toby asks when the Republicans come over; Josh says they're there before lunch. They go on congratulating themselves on getting Berryhill confirmed in the overconfident way that tells you there's no way the guy's getting the job. As C.J. and Toby have to go off somewhere, Josh asks, "You like him, right?" Toby: "Berryhill? I'm over the moon. This is my over-the-moon face." Hee! It's the incredibly serious and unimpressed expression you'd expect. Someone alert the FBI that there's been a sighting of Toby Ziegler's character, who's been missing in action for some time.
Toby follows C.J. to her office as she describes the official response to Berardi's resignation: POTUS appreciates his long service, respects his right to differ, he'll be missed, yada yada. Apropos of I'm not sure exactly what, she tells Toby that he looks spiffy. Toby: "You could look spiffy, too, if you ever went home." She says that she's showered. They pedeconference again, as C.J. says she wanted to ask something about the assassination. Toby: "Avoid that word, for starters." C.J. says that Berardi's letter keeps it on the front page: "The questions I keep getting asked are, 'Why not a trial or tribunal? Why covert ops? Why didn't we simply detain him?'" Toby tells her to stick to the script. C.J. says she tried to get more from the Pentagon, but they're keeping it classified. I'll bet. Toby tells her to send the questions to the Pentagon.
As Josh walks out of his office, Amy's coming through, and asks, "Hey, Spanky, when was the last time you got a look at the CDC budget breakdown?" Josh admits that everything before last Saturday is kind of fuzzy. Amy complains about a budget cut to the Division of Violence Prevention. Josh asks if FLOTUS is pissed. Amy says that Abby's attention is elsewhere. Josh thinks it's probably just as well. Amy disagrees. Josh thinks Abby'd just get worked out without being able to do a lot about it. Amy thinks she could do plenty. Josh: "Then it's a damn shame." Amy: "There's a future for you in motivational speaking." Josh tells Amy to take it to Abby, but Amy says Abby's not in the office for a while. As she reaches a door, Josh tells her to let it go and that she's going to have to "breathe through it for a while." Amy: "Not my forte -- waiting." Josh: "You have other fortes." Amy: "What's that supposed to mean?" Urgh. Josh: "Nothing. I didn't mean that." Amy: "You absolutely meant that." I bark at her: "Move your bloody mouth!" Frink tells me to take it easy. Josh: "Okay, maybe I did." Amy warns him, "Careful what you start," and saunters off. Wise, wise advice that Josh seems determined to ignore. And there it is, the blossoming of Josh and Amy II: Non-Electric Blecch-Eww (tm maki).
On a monitor broadcasting C.J.'s briefing, Katie is asking whether the most practical reason for not assassinating foreign leaders is the fear of retaliation against government officials and their families. C.J. says that Shareef wasn't targeted as a foreign leader, but as a terrorist who was going to blow up the Golden Gate Bridge. She says that Zoey will be coming down soon, and the reporters will want to get into position, and she reminds them that Zoey's been through a horrible ordeal and she's not taking questions: "So if you could show some basic, human -- you know, I almost said 'decency,' but I'm back."
The camera drifts over to the Oval Office, where Bartlet's asking, "What's ?" He's meeting with Leo and some military bigwigs about national security issues. Some guy loaded with hardware says, "Norfolk is remaining at THREATCON 5." That must be difficult, since there's no such thing. Ach, why do I bother? He continues, "The training manuals confiscated in Portland included blueprints for a Radiological Dispersion Device, and the guys we detained in Tanzania yesterday were packing botulinum toxin and cyanide." Jed: "But we can go ahead and light some sparklers in our own back yard..." Ron Butterfield (who, I must remind you, is the magic) says that there will be an extra two thousand officers out. Airspace is being monitored by the Air Force, and a no-boating zone on the Potomac is being enforced. Aw, there go Gatsby's sailing plans. Not that I know if people can or do sail on the Potomac. It's a river, so, probably not. I dunno. Nor do I care. Please don't email me everything you know about the Potomac River. Bartlet: "An invitation to party if I ever heard one." Leo says that very few local events have been affected. They go over some things that were cancelled, one of which is that an "overflow group" of immigrants taking their citizenship oaths lost their venue because the VFW hall they were going to use had a bomb scare. Bartlet thanks them all.
As everyone leaves, Jed asks Leo when he meets with Berryhill. It's at 2:00 PM. Jed says he doesn't want to rush his lunch with Zoey. Leo asks how she's doing. Jed says she's doing well, considering. Charlie sticks his head in to say "they" (Abby and Zoey, I guess) are on their way down. Jed asks Leo what the deal is with the bomb scare. Leo explains that Immigration has been encouraging more neighbourhood swearing-in ceremonies: "Most of this group being sworn in are from Arab countries." A glimpse of a coat flip, there. Jed: "We're talking folks who have been interviewed and background-checked by two agencies, taken classes to learn our language, passed exams on our history and government, and been fingerprinted twice?" Why, yes, yes we are. "These are the kinds of Arabs we're talking about?" You hadda go and ruin it. "The kinds of Arabs"? What, are there just the two kinds -- the ones who are "happy" to clean American buildings and drive American taxis and the ones who want to blow them up? Jed tells Leo to find them an auditorium where they can safely take their oath.
Although the sun appears to be shining brightly outside, when Jed walks out of the Oval Office, it's so dark you can only tell that it's Debbie and Charlie there by their voices. I don't think any amount of jibing or pleading is going to get some light on this show. I'd wave a white flag -- but who'd see it? Jed's got a lot of paperwork to sign; he wonders why the autopen was not employed during his hiatus. Why didn't they put Walken to work? Debbie says that it raised some constitutional issues they couldn't parse. Debbie asks Jed to approve a photo from the archives showing Zoey on a horse with Jed and Abby standing on either side. Debbie says that C.J. thinks most media outlets will go with the fireworks shot, but this one is "nice" and "sweet." Charlie: "No, it's not. They were laughing at me." Jed wonders if that was Charlie's first time up at the farm: "It was, wasn't it?" Charlie: "Yeah, I got on and I stayed on." Jed, indifferently: "You were a natural horseman, Charlie." In the background, Debbie answers the phone: "Fidererererer." She hangs up and tells Jed, "She's ready."
Jed walks out and meets Zoey, who is wearing a beige pant suit and a black sling and being fussed over by her mother (who's wearing an eggplant satin blouse and black skirt). Jed says to Abby, "Are you..." Abby offers a hesitant-sounding sigh, as Zoey assures her mother that she's okay. I think Jed was asking if Abby was joining them, and Abby deferred to Zoey. If that's not what that was about, then I have no idea. As they approach the reporters, C.J. tells Zoey, "You know how to do this. Just breathe and walk. You look great." As they come into sight of the media, everyone starts shouting her name and questions and snapping pictures. The footage of Zoey and her dad walking along is intercut with black-and-white still shots being snapped and Ominous Music. Zoey has one brief flashback to the moments between being drugged and abducted, and then she pulls it together, turns, and waves enthusiastically. She smiles as the reporters shout greeting and compliments.
Leo, Toby, and Josh are having a meeting in the Roosevelt Room. Leo begins by addressing "Mr. Speaker" and "Mr. Leader." But just in case you've never seen this show before, and just in case you've already forgotten that just five minutes ago they talked about meeting with the Republican Leadership, and just in case you're so impatient or addled that you can't wait the three and a half seconds it would take for the nature of the meeting to become apparent, they've helpfully provided a title card that says "The Republican Leadership." Honestly, who the hell is that for? The Jerry Springer Show viewers who are suddenly tuning in in droves? Leo thanks them and pats both parties on the back for the way the recent crisis has been handled. He goes on to inform them of the President's choice for VPOTUS. Long story short: they don't want Berryhill. Josh complains that Berryhill is the most popular Secretary of State "since...whoever Lincoln had." Haffley supplies the information: "Seward. Lincoln had Seward, who was stabbed in his bed." Popularity, boy, I don't know. Leo offers to give the Republicans the room, but Haffley says he doesn't need to be "schooled by [his] Senate brethren." Josh says that Haffley's job is to "advise and consent." They push Berryhill; the other party's not having it. Haffley tells them that they're going to have a fight to confirm Berryhill. It gets slightly unpleasant, and then Haffley produces his list of names of people who could be "easily confirmed." Leo looks at it, and then hands it to Josh. Josh reads it and asks, "This is your list?" Haffley nods. Toby reads it and then Mr. Leader says, "Do you mind?" Toby hands it to him; he reads it. Hasn't he seen it already? Leo asks: "Senator?" He says he has no problem with the list. Toby and Josh seem concerned. Haffley pushes the list back to the middle of the table.
Leo comes out of the meeting, followed by Josh and Toby. Leo barks to Will to meet in the Oval Office and to grab C.J. Josh complains that the idiot thinks he tagged them. Toby: "He did."
In the Oval Office, Jed looks at the list as everyone bitches and complains about it. Josh says that Haffley's an idiot, that he's bluffing, and that they're going to destroy him. C.J.'s worried about their numbers falling as the selection process drags on. Toby rants about the list: "It's a joke. August Adair will bore the country into a stupor, and Starkey is -- forgive me, sir -- more likely to keel over in the three years than you are." Will says that Diane Frost is a serious name. Josh: "Diane is a serious loon of the left." And the Republican leadership put her on the list? Toby: "I love Diane Frost. I'd marry Diane Frost if I were a member of her stated sexual...preference, but Diane is the definition of unelectable." Josh, still pacing around: "That's their agenda: sniper anyone who looks hard to beat time out." C.J. says she thought this choice wasn't about partisan politics. Josh: "It is now!" Jed's had enough: "Come on, guys, the door is closed. This has always been about partisan politics. One reason we were dancing on the tables this morning is that Berryhill looks good to take over in three years." Toby says that Berryhill also looks good right now. Will asks who Robert Russell is. Josh says he's the Congressman from Western Colorado: "And I don't mean the state, I mean the mining company." Toby says that Russell is not Presidential. Josh wonders if they're actually discussing the list. C.J.: "We're dissing the list. Wasn't Russell...is he 'Bingo Bob'?" Toby says he is. Josh suggests not even dissing the list. POTUS tells them to listen up: they're sticking with Berryhill, and he wants to announce it tomorrow. Leo says they should check with their friends: "See if they've got our back." Toby asks, "What about the list?" Leo says that Toby and Josh should chat with the people on the list. Josh is pissed: "You want to placate Haffley?" Leo: "I want to try. If he thinks he's getting to advise, maybe he'll consent." Leo suggests that POTUS say hello to Haffley's candidates, too. Jed says that that's about all they're going to get. Leo tells Josh to haul ass on this. As they're all leaving, Jed asks Toby, "When's the bris?" Toby says it was this morning. C.J. seems dismayed: "This morning? You dog!" Toby says they've been a little busy. She says she'll get him later. Jed: "Nice service?" Toby: "For me. I'm not sure Huck enjoyed it as much." Jed: "Quite a way to start the morning." Yeah, get your foreskin cut off first thing and probably nothing worse will happen to you all day. Jed adds, "And, it's just the beginning." Toby just smiles.
Josh bursts through a door, pissed. Ryan is standing around, about as useful as a broken wrench. Josh hands Donna the list and tells her to call each of them in for twenty minutes, and to make it clear it's not about the Vice-Presidency: "They are not candidates for...you know, jobs listed in the Constitution." Donna: "Are they candidates?" Josh: "They are not. They are not. Repeat that." Donna does so, fairly robotically. Josh goes into his office and slams the door.
C.J. talks to Leo about the progress on the President's attempts to find a place for the citizenship ceremony. Leo wants to wait to announce anything until they're sure they've got something. They walk together as Leo says, "On the other thing..." C.J. I'm fine." Leo: "Toby thought you were a little..." C.J.: "Toby's wrong. I'm not." Leo calls Berardi's resignation letter "persuasive." She says it was, but that she's not persuaded. Leo suddenly remembers something he has to do and takes off.
Amy and Abby come through the lobby as Amy updates Abby on cards, calls, and flowers that have come in. Amy tries to broach the subject of the budget changes, but Abby's totally distracted and not paying attention. Amy apologizes. Abby tells Amy that she hired Amy because she trusts her, and that Amy's going to have to handle things for a while longer. Why do I feel Abby will live to regret those words? More importantly, why do I have the feeling that I will, too?
At Debbie's desk, Debbie tells Abby that Jed's just finishing a call with Congresswoman Frost. Abby's not interested; she's looking for Zoey. Debbie tells Abby that Zoey's meeting with Will. Abby tries to leave, but Debbie seems determined to try to let Jed know Abby's there. Debbie's convinced that's what Jed would want. Abby puts the kibosh on that; clearly, Abby's got nothing to say to him. Debbie makes a point of telling Abby that she prayed hard for her. Abby says she appreciates it. Debbie rambles on about how maybe she shouldn't be because she's not religious and maybe her prayers were seen as insincere or an affront and made things worse. Yep, that's straight out of Dumb Condolences for All Occasions. Abby: "Well, it didn't. So maybe there's a clue."
Zoey is reading letters that have been written to and about her. Charlie says that the White House has received about ten thousand. Zoey reads one from a little girl who's also reading the same book Debbie is: "'I hope that they won't kill you, but if they do, that it will be quick.' She put a little smiley face at the end." Charlie tells Zoey she doesn't need to read all that stuff. Zoey says, "Sure I do." Will arrives, apologizing for being late. Zoey asks if it's okay if Charlie stays: "He thinks he needs to babysit me." You know, it would have been nice to hear some dialogue between Zoey and Charlie privately about what happened -- Charlie, I'm sure, is wracked with guilt. Or maybe it would be hellish and pointless; I don't know. Not loving the writing so far this season. It's fine with Will if Charlie stays. He asks how lunch was. Zoey: "You know Dad: 'Jefferson lives.'" Charlie reminds her that Will doesn't know about this. Zoey explains that her father loves "fourth of July stuff" -- like Jefferson and Adams dying on the same day. Charlie adds, "Adams thought Jefferson had survived him -- and 'Jefferson lives' were his last words." Zoey chuckles: "It appeals to Dad -- you know, hope and irony..." Will: "With a little party politics thrown in." Will is there to help Zoey draft a letter to the country. Maybe she's going to explain just what the hell happened. Will says he'll ask her some questions, and then draft a letter for her to review. Zoey seems a little uneasy about that, but agrees. He asks how she feels, and before she can answer, tells her not to worry about phrasing or brevity -- he'll handle that. Zoey: "I feel...lucky. I feel happy to be back. And...grateful. I feel a little bad that so much had to go into this...saving me, and all." Charlie looks at her with concern. She adds, "I wish I hadn't...it didn't happen." Will says they all do. Zoey: "And then I have to go and..." Charlie says at the same time: "It wasn't your fault." She doesn't answer him or look at him, but just stands up saying, "Okay, so that's good, huh?" Will says it's fine and he'll get back to her. She leaves. Charlie looks sad.
Josh and Toby listen to some windbag in the Mural Room. It's Senator Starkey. They've finished with him and send him on to the Oval Office to say hello to POTUS. He leaves through one door. Toby and Josh look at each other and sigh, then let in another candidate through a different door. Hey, it's Bill Lumbergh (Gary Cole). Actually, it's Congressman Robert "Bingo Bob" Russell. He shakes each of their hands, and then Josh says, "We met at the..." Bob: "Good memory. I wasn't sure you could pick me out of a crowd." Josh: "Luckily, I didn't have to." Josh rambles on about the press climate as they all sit down. The camera then lingers on Russell's cowboy boot-clad foot so long you might think it's Tony Lama commercial. God, we GET it, he's a hick, a yokel, a good ol' boy, a bumpkin, a rube, a yokel, a hayseed, an apple knocker, a chawbacon, a mossback, a provincial. Either that or someone on the show has a big ol' foot fetish, and there's strong evidence for the latter. But I'm getting ahead of myself. Oh, there's confusion afoot! Sorry, I'll stop. Toby says that there's to be no discussion in the meeting of any position within the federal government that may or may not be open. Russell understands. Josh: "Which is not to say this meeting is about that." Toby asks for Bingo's thoughts on the President's and party's agenda for the three years.
POTUS and Berryhill are chatting in the Oval Office. Jed says, "There hasn't been much about the last couple of weeks I wouldn't rather erase, but this, I'll keep. Lewis, I'm hoping to announce you as my new Vice-President." Berryhill asks if Haffley's balking. Jed says this could be rockier than they'd hoped. Berryhill can handle it. Jed: "Not just for us, but for the country." Berryhill: "Sir, as Secretary of State, I've shown you my conciliatory side, but in my heart of hearts, I'm spoiling for a fight." Jed: "Me, too."
Ron is talking to Abby about how they're increasing Zoey's security detail: basically, they're doubling it. It will be practically the same as the President's. Abby says she's going to need a little time to process this. She's about to ask another question when Leo knocks on the door and apologizes, saying he didn't hear that the meeting was moved up. Abby says they're just finishing. Ron tells Leo that there will be a written report on Leo's desk on the new security protocols by COB (close of business). Frink tells me he thought he was the only one who used that expression. Abby says: "Feel free to copy Leo, but I'd like the report delivered to me directly, Ron." Ron agrees and is about to leave when he remembers Abby had another question. She asks how he would compare the Residence to the farm in terms of security. Leo asks Abby, "What are you thinking?" She quickly says, "I don't know yet. Ron?" Ron says that the farm is continually secured, but doesn't have bulletproof windows or a crashproof gate: "Here, we're in a fortress. On the other hand, the White House is a target: ground zero. It's probably six of one..." Abby thanks him. He leaves.
Leo doesn't say anything for a bit, and then finally sits down. He waits a bit longer before saying to Abby (who's not looking at him or speaking to him): "I hadn't heard you were thinking of New Hampshire. That might be the best..." Abby: "I moved the meeting up because I didn't want you here." Leo: "In the meeting." Abby: "In the Residence." It's a good thing John Spencer's a good enough actor that you can appreciate the look on his face even when you can barely freaking see it. You know, I was successful in raising funds to buy Donna a backbone. Perhaps I can generate interest in contributions to a lighting fund. God help us when the show fast-forwards another few weeks to the big blackout of August 14. Wait -- it'll probably be brighter, because people will light a few candles. Leo says, "Yeah...I've been trying to...I thought you'd need some space." Abby: "She's back. She's safe. She's gonna stay safe." Leo: "We all want what's best for Zoey." Abby: "You laid us open. You laid me and my daughters wide open. And God knows what else there is..." Leo says there's nothing else. Abby: "I swear to God, Leo, don't...seventy-two hours, her bruises aren't even -- did you see her face? For God's sake, don't ask me to trust you." Leo, softly, and with a lot of hurt in his eyes: "I'm not." Abby adds, "And don't think you took the bullet. I blame Jed. He did this." She gets up and walks out.
I'm starting to really get behind the idea of a divorce -- or at least a separation. I don't think that's ever happened in the history of the American Presidency, has it? If I were Abby, I would have had way more than enough. Though she's been quite successful, she has still to some degree sacrificed her own career over the years, to the demands of being a political wife. She never wanted him to run for this second term, and wasn't really consulted about it, either. She protected his secret about the MS and lost her license for it (as she should have for treating him and prescribing for him, but he never should have expected her to keep that secret). Now she learns he's ordered an assassination, which she must see as a very serious sin from her religious point of view. Even if she didn't, it's probably something of a blow to her perception of his morals and values. She almost lost one of her children, and that child has been through a horrific ordeal. And they're all still at risk, really. It's all just too much. It's over the line. And I'm not saying it's Jed's fault that Zoey was abducted: that responsibility lies solely with the abductors (and French Toasted, who's an accessory). I'm saying there are a lot of problems with their relationship, with their communication styles, with Jed's lack of respect for Abby and her concerns, and with their approach to resolving conflict.
Roosevelt Room. Flashcard time, kiddies: This time we're meeting with the Democratic Leadership. Big words! Sound them out: Dem-o-cra-tic. Lea-der-ship. Who the hell thought we needed these title cards to spell this out for us? If they think we're that dumb, why not make them all wear black and white cowboy hats or something? Hey, it's that guy I thought looked like the ex-husband from Grace Under Fire; that is, in fact, who it is: Geoffrey Pierson. Tripplehorn! That's the guy's name. I do bear a brain. Turns out the Democrats don't want Berryhill either: too aloof, too dictatorial, not enough of a team player. Josh thinks Haffley's list is amateur hour, but Tripplehorn thinks there are some decent names on that list. The woman beside Tripplehorn -- somebody named Fields -- says that if the White House insists on Berryhill, the Democrats will go to the mat: "But it'll only prove how impotent you've made us." Toby asks, "How's that?" She says that they knighted Haffley when they moved Walken out: "Haffley's not bluffing. Haffley doesn't bluff." Josh says they should fight for Berryhill; they only need four votes. Fields says they won't get them.
Senator Adair is in the Oval Office, boring Jed with an especially tedious yarn about Jefferson and Adams...told in a very slow and monotonous and repetitive way. Do you know how boring you have to be to lose POTUS? Especially when you're telling him one of his own favourite stories? Jed sneaks a look at his watch. As Adair's about to launch another sentence, he suddenly gets up and walks out, saying he's sorry and he'll be back in a second. Outside, he lambastes Debbie: "You were supposed to interrupt after five minutes." She tells him it's only been three. He heads back to the Oval, saying, "Tell Leo I can't take any more of this." She says there are only a couple more. He sighs as he opens the door.
Quick cut to Josh coming through his office door, and Will incredulously asking about the Democrats actually liking Haffley's list. Josh adds that they're not wild about Berryhill. Josh yells for Donna. Toby says that Tripplehorn thinks it's not a bluff, and that they won't win a battle in the House. Josh points out that Tripplehorn's running for POTUS in three years. He yells again for Donna to get him Leo. Ryan sticks his head in to say that Donna's in the bathroom. Josh says exactly what I expect him to: "She's not allowed to do that. Get me Leo." Swimtern: "Leo McGarry?" No, Leonardo da Vinci, moron. Josh confirms this. C.J. runs in to say that they leaked the Starkey-Russell list. Ryan drifts away, chomping gum. Will asks if that's bad: "It makes Berryhill look even better." Toby announces they can't confirm Berryhill. C.J.: "We can't?" Will says that they're having trouble with the Democrats. C.J.: "Wow. Along with the Republicans, that's kind of everyone." Toby says that they have to move on. Josh: "Move on? We don't move on from our first post-Walken showdown! This is the single most defining decision the President makes!" Toby knows that, and says they have to find someone they'll confirm by tomorrow. C.J. says they had other names. Ryan sticks his doofy head in to ask if anyone knows Mr. McGarry's extension. Ha! Except for the Ha! part. Yeesh.
Charlie knocks on the door to the Oval Office. Jed's on the phone with some governor who likes fishing for catfish (catfishing?), and beckons him in. Charlie asks if Jed has a moment. Jed: "You don't want to be Vice-President, do you?" Hee! That would rock. Okay, maybe not. Charlie: "No, sir." Jed says he can stay. Charlie says that it's about Zoey; she had trouble talking to Will. Jed is surprised to hear it: "She was fearless with the press!" Well, I think you see what you wanna see, Dad. Charlie replies: "Yes, sir. She does that." Oh no, slo-mo horses again. Jed has a flashback to little Zoey on her horse. He tells Charlie, "You've said this before." Charlie's confused. More flashbacks, of Charlie, Jed, and Abby watching Zoey ride at the farm. Flashback Jed says, "Look at that: fearless!" Flashback Charlie says: "She puts up a good front." Flashback Jed asks him to name one thing his little girl's afraid of. Regular Charlie says, "She knows you like to see her strong. She thinks what happened was her fault." More flashing, more horses. Girls falling off horses, the trippy black-and-white footage of Zoey's eyes from "Commencement," more slo-mo hooves. The clock in Jed's office that gets louder only when things are more dramatic or serious ticks away. Regular Jed's all bummed now, and Regular Charlie says, "I'm sorry, sir, if I..." Jed says: "Her mother wants to take her back to New Hampshire for a while. What do you think?" Charlie: "I think her mom is right."
Josh is in his office working when Amy comes in to be a pain in the ass. She's blathering a mile a minute about Dooley and anthrax and smallpox and domestic violence, concluding, "If women and children aren't safe in their own homes, who needs national security?" Josh begs her to gotta stop talking: "You're a machine, my head's going to explode." Here are the words you're looking for: Shut the fuck up. Amy whines, and Josh tells her he's got bigger problems: he can't confirm the one guy the President wants for VPOTUS, and he wants Amy to be quiet for a moment. He's clearly distraught over what he perceives as really failing the President. Amy blithely apologizes and says that Berryhill's perfect. Josh snaps: "I mean it, one minute! Silence...can you manage that?" She starts to sputter an objection, and Josh interjects, "You can't do it, can you?" He gets up from his desk. Amy: "Ye--" Josh: "See?" He walks over to his bulletin board, where he's been playing Pin the Tail on the Vice-President. We get a shot of Amy's hand pulling up the sleeve on her other arm to look at her watch. Then the camera drifts down to her feet, and we see her slip them out of her shoes. She sits on something to Josh's desk and puts her toes, with her red-painted toenails, up on Josh's desk. He looks over at this, and chuckles to himself. Frink and I are just looking at each other with "The hell...?" expressions on our faces. Mind you, he missed the entire third season after "Gone Quiet," so he knows zip about the joy they brought so many of us in days of yore. Josh walks over to Amy and takes her watch out of her hands. The camera's on Amy's face, to Josh's back. She looks at him with what I would call trepidation, and then after a moment of the two of them gazing at each other, Josh decides to kiss her. They suck face for about eleven seconds (yes, I timed it), and then Amy puts her shoes back on (which we get another close-up of) and leaves without a word. And there's Josh thinking: Can open. Worms everywhere. And here's me, who already lived through their juvenile, insecure antics once: see this? This is my over-the-moon face.
Zoey's in the Residence packing her bag, complaining to Jed that he and Abby ganged up on her and are making her go to the farm. She doesn't seem really furious, just disappointed and slightly pissed. He hands her clothing as she packs one-armed. Jed says, "Your mother and I are a united front, so don't even bother." Abby looks like she could have a lot to say about that, but decides against it. Jed tries to convince her it will be fun and that he'll be up as soon as he can: "There's only one thing you have to do for me: give yourself time. Don't try to rush this." Abby wanders out. Zoey stops packing for a moment, and tells him, "There was an arm...grabbing me..." Jed looks down; he doesn't seem at all ready to hear any of the ugly details. It seems like the worst thing he can stand to picture is Zoey falling off her horse. She continues: "When I start to fall asleep...it comes back." Jed says, "We're going to help you. We're all going to help." It sounds hollow, somehow, though I know he means it. I'm just not sure he believes it. He doesn't look at her, nor does she look at him. They resume packing. Elisabeth Moss has been quite good in this episode.
Jed and Leo enter the Oval Office from the portico. Jed wonders how big a battle Berryhill is worth. Leo says that sums it up. Jed says that Lewis is eager -- maybe too eager -- for a battle. Debbie comes in to tell them that Congressman Russell's there. Jed: "Who?" Since the door is open, Debbie whispers, "Bingo Bob." Leo heads for his office.
C.J. and Toby are looking at pictures of the boychik and his bris, I guess on a digital camera. Can't really see what it is behind all the desktop crap blocking the view. C.J. laughs warmly, saying, "Look at that! Oh, my God..." Toby softly says that Huck hates him already. C.J.: "And Molly!" Toby: "Her brother got a Hebrew name, so she had to have one." Toby and C.J. are so sweet together. You notice she's the only one he's showing these pictures to. C.J. asks: "Where's Andi? Was she even there?" Toby just looks at her like he doesn't want to discuss the subject. He changes the subject, asking if C.J.'s going to step out for the fireworks. She doesn't know; she thinks she might go home. Toby thinks she should: "You've been going at it without a break." She says she's okay. Toby says he went over the briefings from the last few days, and there weren't a lot of questions about the covert operation. Which is just pathetic, if you ask me. C.J.: "There were questions." Toby: "'Why didn't Shareef have a trial? A tribunal?' Who asked that?" C.J. doesn't look at him: "They're my questions, Toby. I'm asking. You read Berardi's resignation? 'Violence is the last resort of civilized nations. Violence wrapped in secrecy is the choice of thugs.'" Toby sits down again and asks, "You think we're thugs?" C.J.: "I don't know." Toby asks, "You want to keep talking about this?" C.J., shaking her head slightly: "Unh-unh." Toby: "Let me know."
Jed and Bingo Bob are in the Oval Office, which has been painted orange and brown and lit with candles. Or something. Oh, well, Hallowe'en's coming up. Jed cuts to the chase, saying that the list is out there now. Bob thinks it's great that they can speak directly. Jed asks, "Were you surprised to find your name on that list, Robert?" Bob: "It's Bob. Robert's my dad. And uh, yes, sir, I never thought that I'd be sitting here today. Or any day." Jed says that this place is full of surprises. Bob: "If this is a courtesy to the Speaker, I won't waste your time with a long pitch." Jed encourages him: "No, please." Bob: "I get along with people. They like me in the House because I don't ruffle feathers, and they like me back home, because I honestly enjoy a good rubber chicken -- something to do with the cooking I grew up on. And it may look like I'm awful cozy with the mining industry, but WestCo employs five times as many of my constituents as anyone else in my district." Jed asks, prompted by the boots, whether Bob's a horseman. Bob says, "Oh, I love to ride. You?" Jed shakes his head: "My youngest daughter's the one with the talent." Bob: "Praise the Good Lord for her safe return." Jed: "We do." Bob: "No, I wear these boots, uh...oh, I could give you some crap about remembering my roots, but I wear these boots because I've got flat feet and they don't hurt my arches." Jed stands and thanks him for coming by on such short notice. Bingo Bob senses that he hasn't secured anything here or made much of an impression and decides to stick his neck out: "Uh, Let me go on the record...if, uh, if you were to offer the job, I would be honoured." Jed: "Thank you." Bob: "But I would need a couple things." Jed: "Oh?" Bob says he wasn't close enough to say for sure what Jed's relationship with Hoynes was like: "But as your Vice-President, I would want more access." Jed: "Uh-huh." Bob: "Direct access. A weekly lunch or drinks, especially since we don't know each other." Jed says he sounds like he'd be a Vice-President who's looking to move up. Jed walks toward the door and Bob adds, "I'm not looking to run out the clock on you, but I'm sure that my name came up because some see me as the bland candidate. Nobody's nightmare. The triumph of mediocrity. If I were to take the job, I'd need to confound those expectations, and I'd want you to know that." Jed, evenly: "Any other ways I can sweeten the offer for you, Bob?" Hee.
Leo seems to be almost brooding in his office. Jed comes in to tell Leo he's "sending [his] girls home." He asks if Leo wants to say good bye. Leo: "Abby and I spoke earlier." Jed gestures for Leo to sit, because he's going to ramble: "Two hundred and twenty-seven years ago, a bunch of guys got together on the fourth of July and decided, because they didn't have any cherry bombs, that they would declare some self-evident truths." Leo: "Fed up with democracy, are we?" Jed nods. Well, come over here and sit by me. Jed told Berryhill it wasn't going to work out. Leo: "You didn't want to fight?" Jed did: "But the country needs a President who's doing their work. And since they put their trust in a guy whose mortality is showing, they deserve a chain of command that's irrefutable." Leo: "So who is it?" Jed: "Ben Franklin thought the only hope for democracy was if people respected each other enough to compromise. The folks in Western Colorado had four chances to change their minds about Bob Russell and they haven't." Leo draws back in genuine surprise: "Bob Russell? Really?" Jed: "He ain't my choice. But hey, we hated the last guy." And look how well that worked out. Jed says: "So let's start the vetting process." He tells Leo to tell the staff; he's done for the day. Leo: "Actually, Mr. President, you have one more thing."
Cut to a painting of George Washington, and a roomful of people taking their citizenship oath. When the guy leading the ceremony (is it a judge, or just a guy wearing the robes?) finishes the oath, he gestures to the back of the room where Jed and Leo are standing and says, "Ladies and gentleman, the President of the United States." Everyone applauds as Jed walks to the podium. Jed: "My fellow Americans, congratulations and welcome. I hear you had some trouble finding a safe place to take your oath today. Our Founding Fathers were in a similar predicament. In many ways, our great Declaration of Independence was a work order issued under fire...one we still struggle to fulfill." That has to be one of the better speeches I've heard on this show: short, to the point, and fairly free of pomposity and bullshit. Jed asks them to stand and recite the Pledge of Allegiance with him. Yeah, as if I buy any of this. It's a nice little fantasy, though.
As the new citizens recite, we see Zoey and her mother getting in the limo to leave the White House for the farm in Manchester. Zoey and Charlie exchange glances. The car door slams, and we cut to fireworks exploding over the Washington Monument, then a champagne bottle being uncorked. The fireworks provide lots more "red face, blue face" opportunities. Ryan and Josh bring drinks over to where Toby, Donna, and Will are standing. Oh yeah, there's Amy down there, too. Josh leans forward slightly and looks at her, half-quizzically, half-expectantly. She just gives him an enigmatic little smile and wanders off. I hope the fireworks are just coincidences and not anvils, but there seems little chance of that. She walks past the camera and Josh turns and slowly follows, with his mouth hanging slightly open. I'm sure one of them knows a good broom closet somewhere.
C.J. sits in her office, watching the fireworks from the window. You know something is wrong when one of the brightest scenes is in an office at night with just a couple of small lamps on and the light from distant fireworks. She fiddles with her hair and swivels gently in her chair, thinking.
Jed approaches a balcony railing, eyes on the sky.
Cut to Abby in the back of the limo, Zoey's head on her lap. Zoey's eyes are wide open.
Back to the staff on the balcony: Leo comes up and whispers something to Toby -- whose expression is a mixture of resignation and disappointment -- and to Will. They talk amongst themselves; we're not meant to hear what they say because of the noise of the firecrackers and the crowd.
Cut back to Jed: a shot from behind, looking out at the fireworks and the Monument. Frink thinks it looks really fake. We see Jed's face again, and the horses are back, and the little girl's about to fall. Jed takes her off the horse as she says, "I wasn't scared, Daddy."
Cut to a shot of Zoey from the photo op that afternoon, and back to her in the limo.
And we're back to Jed, looking melancholy.