By Deborah
Props to thel222.
Good news, folks: you can actually see this episode. Maybe GE gave the producers a corporate discount on some lighting. Other good news: some funny lines, and the episode is actually about politics and the staff. Also, Laura Innes directed. Maybe they can get her for every episode. It's not like they're making full use of her considerable talents on ER, though God knows I enjoy hearing her call Romano her "bitch."
It's late, and Toby and Will are arguing over the three-month message calendar Toby's been working on. Will think there should be some attention given to the President's economic accomplishments; Toby seems to think that's best avoided since they're losing jobs, and business gets credit for creating jobs anyway, not government: "You don't want people saying, 'Hey, thanks for the nine million jobs; I've got three of them, and I can't make my house payments.'" Will asks why there are no events on Fridays; Toby brings up the familiar cant about how no one watches the Friday news and no one reads the Saturday paper. I don't know about anyone else, but I read the paper every day, Saturday included. I only have the time to read it properly on the weekend. Will thinks he knows some assignment editors who'd resent Toby's comments, but Toby's insistent. Will says that Toby doesn't need his help, and wearily says that he's going to go home. He plops down on Toby's sofa. Toby studies the big calendar and says, "This is how we get past crisis-of-the-hour: seize the agenda again." Will: "As it is, I'm going to have nightmares about colour-coded six-day weeks with no accomplishments." Toby says he needs to learn this. Will: "I need to see my bed! In fact, I'm thinking about carrying a picture of it in my wallet." Heh. He gets paged. Toby gripes that they've barely had a message since the campaign, never mind since the abduction. Well, considering that the message during the campaign was "Bartlet smart, Writchie...not so much," I'd say the problem goes back to sometime before the campaign. Toby tells Will that this is his life for the three months, as he pulls on his jacket to leave. Will asks if the extension he got paged with, 7431, is in the OEOB. Why mention that? It seems unnecessary. We're going to find out within moments who paged him, and it doesn't add anything to the plot here. If it tipped Toby off, then I could see it. But Toby seems oblivious. He says he'll drop Will in Dupont Circle. As they walk out, Toby says that politics isn't about past performance: "It's about, 'What have you done for me lately, and where's my year's supply of Turtle Wax?'" "Turtle Wax"? Will gets paged again, and says he had better return the call, as he goes back into the bullpen. Toby says, "It's someone looking for one of your nine million jobs!" Actually, it's someone calling about Job # 9,000,001. Will says he'll see Toby tomorrow.
, we see Will walking through a fairly deserted hallway with an excellent black and white checkerboard floor. An attractive young woman crosses his path walking out of an office, carrying a large framed picture. She lowers the picture, sees him, and asks, "Are you Will Bailey?" Will: "I could be." He quickly adds -- probably figuring now is the not the time for weak flirtation -- "I mean, yes." Some other woman comes through at that point saying, "He's the one who elected the dead guy." Will says the candidate did the hard part: "Dying." The woman asks, "Is that a joke?" Will says it's not really, and asks if he's in the right place.
We hear "Bingo" Bob's voice from the office behind Will, greeting him. He invites Will into his office -- which is pretty dark despite lamps and sconces on all over the place -- and asks what he'd like to drink. Will asks for "anything with caffeine," and begins apologizing again for the announcement-speech hijinks. Bob shrugs it off, saying he admires speechwriters for having to have the tendency to doubt and the capacity to believe in equal measure. Will wonders why he's there. Bob: "You're the President's voice; you don't think I have an interest in that?" Will doesn't -- not at 12:15 AM on a weeknight. Bob says he has to work longer hours, since he's playing with a handicap. Since when is leaving before the bars close considered "longer hours" around here? Get with the program, cowboy. Bob elaborates: "Spare tire on the automobile of government. Heartbeat away from having a heartbeat. The story of the two brothers." Josh doesn't know what he's referring to. Bob: "One went to sea; one became Vice-President. Neither was heard from again." Josh says that's a new one. Bob thinks he may need more help than Horton Wilder. Will still hasn't cottoned to what's going on, so Bob spells it out: "I'd like you to be my Communications Director. First senior-level hire in the White House." Will's flattered, of course. Bob accuses Will of not thinking Bob's enough of a politician. Will didn't say that. Well, you didn't have to; he read your speech, dude. Bob dredges up some sports metaphor, the point of which is that a coach decides to work with the player who needs more help with his form because...oh, who cares. Bob knows he's not the best politician, but he's VPOTUS: "Imagine what we could do when you teach me the right form." Will says he's a special assistant to the President. Bob's offer: "Chief strategist and senior counsellor to the Vice-President." Will asks: "Are we playing poker?" Bob: "I'm showing you my hand." Will says Bob's looking for his own Toby Ziegler. Well, who isn't, really? Bob says, "I'm looking for someone who can beat Toby to first." Will politely refuses and starts to leave. Bob, not easily deterred: "I like loyalty, Will. I respect loyalty. But you can run out the clock on a Bartlet Presidency that, politically speaking, is over. You can finish something that you never started in the first place. You can run around those little hallways until Toby turns out the lights. Or you can shape the Presidency from the ground up. Total access. Coach of the team. 'Course, I understand if you're not interested." Will doesn't say anything, but Bob's definitely got his attention. Take the job, dude. You know it's probably a shrewd career move. What political future can you have with the Bartlet administration? And you can take all the Laurens with you! Credits.
Josh arrives at work, as the morning papers are being delivered, to find a story in the Post about him: "The 101st Senator: Bartlet's Point Man on Capitol Hill." Josh walks down the hall engrossed in the article as Donna approaches him, asking if he's read it. Josh claims he's not reading, but comments, "There's some new stuff since the early edition." Donna says it's a great piece. Josh: "It's a puff piece so I'll return the reporter's calls, which I won't." They're updating stuff in a puff piece in subsequent editions? Donna reads excerpts from the article: "'A one-man Congressional majority'; 'Bartlet's legislative juggernaut.'" Josh says it's embarrassing, and that they should be stealing everyone's copies before they read them. His protests ring a little hollow, especially when he adds, "Save one for my mom." This is the season the powers that be finally cast Barbara Barrie as Josh's mother. I can just feel it in my bones. No longer will I be denied! Donna says, "She'll be proud of her little birthday boy." Aw, happy birthday, Josh! Josh is all "no gifts, no parties," please. He wants it to be just another day. Yeah, good luck with that. Donna asks, "Coffee and a...?" Josh: "Yeah, with a...thing." Donna has started telling him what he has to do when she notices Josh is not wearing a tie. She produces one out of thin air and drapes it across his shoulder. At least someone has the sense to keep some extra clothes at the office. C.J.'s always sending staff home to rummage through her closets. I'll bet they try on her stuff, too. Josh is still engrossed in the puff piece when Donna remarks, "Like your suit, though. Liked it when you wore it yesterday, too." Translation: "I know you're shagging that skank ho again, and don't think I can't smell your desperate confusion." Josh is indifferent to this, as he comments on another story: "Speaker's trying to roll us again on stimulus." He asks, "This story about me sending a Congressman a dead fish wrapped in newspaper -- the Post get this from you?" Donna says no. He reiterates his request for coffee and a "thing." Bagel? Muffin? Doughnut? Scone?
Out in the lobby, someone calls out to Josh, "Great piece in the Post." He's walking along, struggling with his tie, when he runs into Amy, who says, "Your clipping service must be busy today." Josh feigns innocence. Amy asks if being the "101st Senator" is like being the fifth Beatle. Someone else calls out, "Nice profile!" as Josh replies to Amy, "Yeah, I was the one who played sitar and made procedural changes." Amy, "So, listen, Mr. Rip-up-the-Constitution- and-behold-my-awesome-powers..." Wait, won't we need that nickname for Arnie? Josh says he has a meeting. He's still struggling with his tie. Amy: "Mr. Cloture-motions-flow- like-blood- through-my- gavel-wielding-veins..." Huh? Josh doesn't think veins wield gavels. I know they don't. Also, I realize they're trying to hide the pregnancy, but they've got Amy in a long coat throughout the episode, either wearing it or carrying it in front of her abdomen, but isn't it, like, July or August? I mean, it's not like the timeline makes any sense anyway, what with Zoey's three-day abduction spanning from May 7 to the fourth of July, but given that the VPOTUS has just been announced yesterday or whatever, which is being made clear by the same-suit- two-days- in-a-row thing, and that the VPOTUS is still setting up his office and whatever, and that everyone's still talking about Zoey's abduction as if it happened pretty recently, I very much doubt that it's suddenly long-coat weather. It would need to be September or October for that, would it not?
Anyway, Amy asks about the HHS appropriations: "How far under the budget cap was our original submission?" Josh wonders why Amy doesn't get that from Legislative Affairs. Amy: "'Cause I'm getting it from you." And yes, I do believe we're supposed to take that both ways. Josh tells her to run FLOTUS's last-minute budget requests through the process. Amy says that FLOTUS has nothing. Josh says that's because their budget's locked, and Abby's a sensitive topic around there: "Or not around here, as the case may be." Josh has one side of his tie tied over his collar. Interestingly, Amy doesn't mention it, and makes no move to fix Josh's tie, as you just know Donna would. Is that because she doesn't see it as her role to do things like that? Does she see it as servile? Is that because it's too sweet or intimate a gesture for the way they relate to each other? Is it because she just wants to see how long it takes him to fix it while deriving a modicum of personal amusement from it? Is it because she doesn't care? I don't actually know what I think about that, myself, and y'all can argue it out in the forums. I'm just stirring the pot. All I know is, Donna's hands would have been all over that tie. I don't think Amy would have let him walk away like that, though; I think she would have said something at the last minute. Boy, could I waste some more time thinking about this? Anyway, Josh figures out the tie problem for himself. Amy says, "It's nothing, Josh." Josh: "Nothing's nothing." As he walks away, Amy flings the tie he left at her place over his shoulder, saying she'll get it from Legislative Affairs. He grabs the tie, but she doesn't let go, and you can hear him offscreen saying, "Don't...come on..." Amy lets go and walks away. Josh comes back into the doorway to watch her go.
Josh arrives in Leo's office for the senior staff meeting. They all compliment him on the newspaper piece. C.J. brightly says, "Hats off to the Jewish Connecticut Corleone." Toby -- wearing a suit in a more interesting colour combination than I would have imagined he'd consider -- says, "I'm still trying to make the cover of Jane's Defense Weekly." Toby's shirt is a soft mossy green, although it some lights it looks mocha, and the suit looks almost burgundy, but it might be brown or plum (the colour on my main TV is wonky), and it seems to have a subtle plaid pattern going on. The tie is a burgundy with cream polka dots. No, I'm not kidding. I actually don't think it looks half bad, though I don't think the tie quite works. I want a Queer Eye crossover show. I want to see the Fab Five fix up the Fab Four (meaning Josh, Leo, Toby, and Will; C.J. doesn't need any help. Well, I'm still getting used to the Klute 'do).
Leo wants to talk about the results of a DNC poll: POTUS's job approval is down to 49%; Abby's is eleven points higher. Josh notes that "strong leader" is down and "handling of economy" is way down. Leo thinks that people don't feel safe in the world and economically secure. Rockin' insight, Leo. Toby says that they love the President at a barbecue: "Not so much with the nuclear launch codes." Josh says that those in the White House are not the ones who voted down the stimulus package. Leo says they have to get that message out, and to that end, Toby's working on a message calendar: "When the President signs off, we treat it like it's chiselled stone. No more lurching from issue to issue. No more governors' brother-in-laws' Bar Mitzvahs driving the schedule, just a positive message: opportunity and security, one day at a time." Will pipes up: "Except Fridays." Someone's handed Toby a note, and Toby says that 217 military promotions that were supposed to pass Senate last night were put on anonymous hold. Josh says it's Chris Carrick. See what I mean about the names? This guy is about the fifteenth Chris on this show. They're just fuckin' with me now. Leo wonders why a conservative Democrat would do this. Josh says he threatened it last week when he stiffed the White House on the stimulus package. C.J.: "So much for opportunity and security." Toby complains about fighting their own party over the military. Josh says there's no fight, and that he'll take care of it. Leo says that he'll take care of it, and dismisses everyone. Josh insists to Leo that he can handle Carrick. Margaret comes in to tell Leo that POTUS is ready in the Residence. Leo tells Josh that it's not a thing, and that he thinks he's a "little hot" after last week. Josh tells him, "This is what I do. You got time to wrangle a Senator on the Hill?" Leo relents, and says he got a message from Legislative Affairs about the fact that the HHS appropriations bill is being reopened. Josh feigns ignorance. Leo asks if he knows about this. Josh totally lies that he doesn't. Leo says he'll find out. Josh runs into Donna, as he walks away from Leo, and tells her he needs Amy. Donna asks what's wrong; Josh just reiterates his request.
Leo and Charlie are in the Residence kitchen with Jed, who asks, "What's the problem with the Belgian elections, Leo?" Leo asks if this is the start of a riddle. It isn't: Jed's mad about an intelligence briefing. "The anti-immigrationists are gaining in the north! It doesn't say why or how." Leo asks if he wants more on the Flemish Bloc. Jed: "I want a CIA briefer here in person every morning. Why'd I get this on paper?" He gulps the dregs of some cereal from a bowl and puts it in the sink. Aw, he cleans up after himself! More or less. Whatta guy. Charlie reminds Jed that there's a rule against briefers in the family quarters. Jed growls that that was Abby's rule, and asks what's . Charlie tells him he's got budget review, and Toby needs him to sign off on the message calendar. Jed waves his arm in the air dismissively as he gets something from the fridge. Leo says it can't wait over the weekend: "It's been months since we had a clear message coming out of this building..." Jed interjects, "It's been months since we reduced a $2 trillion government to poll-tested bromides. You think James Madison ran his Presidency off a message calendar?" Leo: "Probably, yes." Jed gathers up his things with annoyance: "'Life' on Mondays, 'liberty' on Wednesdays, 'shaking off the yoke of a tyrannical monarch' on alternate Thursdays." Hee. I usually enjoy a pissed-off Jed. Coat flip! Leo says that Toby needs his okay this morning, and mentions the HHS appropriations: "Remember our violence prevention initiative?" Jed grumbles that the Republicans gutted it: "Because 'domestic violence isn't a public health issue.' As if spousal abuse were part of the Atkins Diet." Leo says that the Republicans just reopened the bill and added back every penny. Jed: "Just like that." Jed's ready to leave, and Leo promises him more on the Flemish thing. Charlie and Leo exchange glances as they leave. You can't actually see Leo's face when he does it, but you can easily imagine his expression. Hey, those are nice antique samplers on the wall there. I wonder if they're real.
Josh comes up to Donna to ask, "Five minutes with Amy?" Donna replies, "Take ten. You're over twenty-one." In case anyone within earshot isn't aware that she knows Josh and Amy are sleeping together. Swimtern's there, and he mentions Josh's having been called the 101st Senator. Josh: "I'm impressed. You read block-letter headlines." Swimtern asks, "What's that mean?" Is he kidding? The lint in my navel knows what that means. How the hell did Richie Rich qualify for this internship? Never mind, I just answered my own question. Josh explains that he used to work in the Senate and has some pull there. Swimtern asks about the dead fish story. Josh says that a Congressman tried to bottle up a fisheries bill. Then he gets annoyed that he's explaining himself to Skippy and asks if this is an inquisition. Skippy comments, "Bet he's glad it wasn't a whaling bill." Shut it, Skippy.
Josh walks into his office as he asks whether Swimtern isn't supposed to be gathering up profiles: "Lord Bullingdon's having a field day over there." Josh looks at his desk, upon which there's a big dead fish wrapped in newspaper. He calls out, "We had a rule today: no gifts!" Donna comes down the hall, declaring, "Your birthday's not for you, it's for the rest of us." Josh wonders how that works. Donna doesn't know -- she thinks they get to eat cake and wear pointy hats. Josh begs her not to tell anyone: "I don't want one of those sad-sack parties in the Indian Treaty Room where some guy from the OMB drones on about how I saved the aquatic weed subsidy." Donna tells Josh that Amy doesn't have time for him this morning. Josh tells her to tell Amy to make time, and announces that he's going to the Hill. Swimtern wants to know what's on the Hill. Please, son, go play in the Mandyville traffic. Donna says, "Some buildings and a big statue of a guy with a beard." On his way out, Josh gets annoyed with Swimtern's pesky questions; he turns around and barks, "You don't get to know everything, okay? This isn't an all-access pass. You're not backstage at a Stones concert." Josh is on his way out when Swimtern asks if he's ever been backstage at a Stones concert. Josh says he hasn't. Swimtern: "It's pretty great." Oh, for the love of Brian Jones, shut up! Josh hollers, "I want him sorting mail!"
Toby follows C.J. into her office, discussing the poll results. Carol says, "Ben again on 5." C.J. tells Carol to stop giving her his messages. Carol adds that Leo's ready for the pre-brief. Toby sits down as he asks, "Who's Ben?" C.J. says he's a guy she lived with for six months. That must have been years ago. Toby: "I didn't know you lived with a guy named Ben." C.J.: "There's a lot you don't know about me." Toby: "Like what?" C.J.: "Well, that's about it, really." Heh. Toby wonders about her not wanting Ben's calls. C.J. muses about what would happen if she took his call: "It'd be great, to hear his voice --he has this low, husky radio voice -- and we'd be swapping memories and old jokes and pet names and then it's the frisky little emails, and pretty soon, it's, you know, a weekend in Little Washington and the late-night phone calls, and that's when we start to get on each other's nerves. 'Cause we get on each other's nerves. He has this thing where he twirls his hair and...." She taps the desk with her fingers, and kind of shakes her head quickly and smiles, adding, "Anyway, the bloom's off the rose and I don't call as much and it's the guilt and cherchez la femme and why didn't it work out the first time and it's ten years until we talk again." Toby comments, "That was a like a bad romantic comedy in fifteen seconds." Maybe, but that's about all the time Toby's willing to devote to anything like that, so it's just as well. I want C.J. to be happy. I want her to quit her job and get her groove back. C.J.: "Straight to video."
C.J. walks out of her office, followed by Toby, and runs into Leo, who asks what she's getting from "the gaggle." Will's there, too. C.J. mentions the drop in consumer confidence. Will advises her to pivot to the stimulus package: "Our new version will be introduced week. Drop it back in Congress's lap." Toby pretend-asks why POTUS is dragging his feet on naming Funkmaster Funky Fitz's replacement. C.J.'s reply: "The President is making his decision. Admiral Fitzwallace is still on the job. One chairman at a time." Leo asks, "What else?" Will says that Reuters is reporting that the White House scrubbed two paragraphs from an EPA report on energy needs -- paragraphs containing language that was critical of the coal industry. C.J.: "What mid-level lackey tampers with an independent report?" Leo: "You're looking at him." Whoopsie. C.J.: "I didn't mean to...are we defending coal?" Will says that Reuters has the original draft. C.J. quickly says they have to do a total mea culpa and make it a one-day story. Leo: "We're not 'culpa'-ing anything. 'The report will reflect administration views.'" C.J. says that won't fly if Reuters has the draft. Leo insists, "'The report will reflect administration views.' That's the line. What else?" No one says anything. Leo: "Great." He leaves.
As Toby and Will leave, Will asks if Toby's concerned about the EPA thing. Toby's worried about anything that takes them off their new message. Will asks what their new message is. Man, the hallway is unbelievably egg yolk-y yellow in this scene. But hey, at least I can see the actors. Toby hands Will a file, and Will notes changes since last night. Toby says that POTUS signed off on it. Will thought he'd have another chance to weigh in. Toby assures him that he's going to have a big role in this. Will: "Hand-colouring copies of the calendar?" Heh. ["Don't knock colouring, Will! Colouring maps was the only thing I liked about taking Geography." -- Wing Chun] Toby says he needs Will to sit down with the Labour Secretary, the Commerce Secretary, and VPOTUS to walk them through their assigned economic speeches. Will interjects that that's a bad idea. Toby: "We've been over this: if the President stumping for the new stimulus package on Tuesday, you look at the calendar, then the Labour Secretary also talks..." Will means VPOTUS: "We can't pretend he's another Cabinet flunky." Toby: "You're right. Cabinet flunkies have responsibilities." Will says, "He's a Constitutional officer. We should get his input up front." Yeah, Toby's real interested in Bob's input. Will: "What if he doesn't like it?" Toby asks if Will wants Toby to come to the meeting with VPOTUS, too. Will does not. Toby: "Give him his assignment. I don't care if he likes it! You work for the President. So does he. Toby walks to his desk. Will stands there thinking, "That's what you think, you...you...big jerk!"
Josh arrives at an office where there's a beautiful black compote full of fresh potatoes (or possibly, given the way this storyline's going, I should be spelling it potatos) on the desk. The man at the desk greets him: "Mr. Lyman." Josh looks at the compote and says, "I get it. Idaho. That's funny." Aw, come on. Most of us could or would figure that out, and it's just not important enough to emphasize for those who couldn't. I wish they had just let us see the potatoes without having to call attention to them. The assistant asks if Josh has an appointment with the Senator. He doesn't, but Josh is confident that the Senator will want to see him. Indeed, he does.
As Josh enters, Senator Carrick -- nicely played by Tom Skerritt -- says, "I'm surprised the White House sent Senator Lyman." Josh immediately tells Carrick that he can't block military promotions: "We can't have an intra-party fight on this when the Republicans are thrashing us on security." Carrick says he doesn't want a fight. Josh says that these are career officers who risked their lives in the Gulf and Africa. Carrick: "We'll keep our promises to our troops once we keep our promises to each other." Josh wonders what promises he's talking about. Carrick: "The MB-827 triple missile launcher." It's supposed to be built in Idaho, and he wants a signed letter of intent today. Josh says that missile launcher doesn't work: "It's a missile defense system that can't hit missiles. It's a $270 million slingshot the Pentagon doesn't want." Carrick wants to talk about why they should build it anyway. Josh: "No, let's talk about what you're going to do for underpaid, underpromoted fighting men and women." Carrick: "Not a damn thing until I get my launcher." Josh wonders when Carrick was promised this. Turns out it was seven years ago, under the administration. Josh: "Okay, a bunch of things have fallen by the wayside since then, like Communism..." Carrick restates his ultimatum. Josh: "If you want to come asking for party favours, you shouldn't have voted with the Republicans for five straight years. You shouldn't have voted with them last week to kill our stimulus package." Carrick: "You tell Leo McGarry I look forward to a letter approving the MB-827."
Jed asks Leo -- who's just come into the Oval Office -- if he's heard about the Chief Justice. Leo: "What now?" Charlie: "He was presiding over a moot court competition at NYU -- thought he was at the real Supreme Court." Aw, it's that adorable stray dog, Continuity! Sit. Stay. Good doggie! Leo: "Which is fine, if we can get NYU to rule on the Second Amendment." Jed: "He's losing it, Leo." Leo reminds him that it's a lifetime appointment. Jed: "That doesn't mean he gets to decompose on the bench." ["Someone tell the Pope that." -- Wing Chun] Leo tells Jed that Josh is taking care of Carrick. Leo tells Jed that the money for violence prevention in the appropriations bill has now been doubled. Jed: "It went from gutted to doubled?" Leo: "Two hundred million." Jed wonders if this is a budget problem. Leo: "Legislative Affairs are concerned it could cut into bioterrorism, global pandemics...$200 million's real money." Jed wonders if the Republicans are trying to make it so expensive that they'll cut it themselves. Leo thinks that's possible. Jed: "Are they trying to outflank us on the left?" Leo can't see why they would. Jed: "Let's find out."
Swimtern's tagging along as Donna rushes around doing work: "So, Josh is against the launcher because he thinks it's all make-work jobs for Idaho?" Donna agrees. Swimtern: "But, he supports workfare, which...gives people make-work jobs?" Donna: "Find me a military contractor on food stamps and we'll talk." Donna stops into C.J.'s office to hand Carol a file, saying, "Josh's guidance on the DSCC." Carol hands it to C.J.
Donna and Carol hustle off, and Swimtern lingers at the door. I can't even tell you how much I hate preppy clothing. I especially hate the "white pants with the dark sport coat, blue shirt, and diagonally striped tie" look, all of which Skippy's wearing now. I loathe it all. I also continue to wonder about the Orville Redenbacher hairdo. Clearly, with Stockard Channing gone, the hair and clothing people are venting their frustrations on Jesse Bradford. He stares at C.J. for a moment, and then announces, "So, I'm giving Josh an expensive birthday present." Boy, this guy is a real graduate of How To Win Friends And Influence People, isn't he? People love it when you brag about how much money you have. C.J. quickly says, "You can't. You're his subordinate. That's a violation of ethics rules." Swimtern: "Then I'm giving it to you." C.J.: "You'd better believe you're my subordinate." Hee. ["Seriously. Now I'm picturing Jesse Bradford bending over in seamed stockings like Maggie Gyllenhaal on the Secretary poster." -- Wing Chun] C.J. adds, "And I don't think you even bought a present at all." Swimtern says, "There's a party...at the Australian Embassy later...." Oh. My. Lord. Did Swimtern just ask C.J. out? I may be sick. I mean, not that you can fault the guy's taste in this one matter, but what'd he eat for breakfast? Chocolate-covered Idiot Flakes? C.J.'s not sure, either: "Are you..." He quickly say no, but his expression is unconvincing. He says, "It's just, uh..." C.J.: "There aren't enough phone books in the District of Columbia for you to stand on." Ha! Burn. Swimtern: "How about suburban Maryland?" I know the people in the forums will never forgive me if I don't insert a shout here: "MARYLAND!" If you want to know what that's about, you'll just have to hang out in the forums and ask the right people. Back to the part where I'm losing my lunch: look, normally I'm all for older women and younger men. If I ran for office, it'd be part of my platform. (Keanu, if you're reading this, I'm willing to make a one-time exception for you -- though you're only about six months older than I am anyway.) That's not the problem I'm having here. C.J. is just so out of his league, and he's just not hot enough to justify it. I would have thought he was pushing his luck had he asked Donna out, let alone C.J. Anyway, C.J. just lets that hang there. Hold me. I'm frightened.
When Josh gets to Amy's office, she tells him a lame joke about a guy who doesn't call his mother enough. Josh asks if Amy's telling him to call his mother. She says she's telling him a joke. Anyway, Josh asks her what FLOTUS is doing and why she needs lists of Congressional committees. Amy replies, "Hi, I'm Amy Gardner. I work for Abigail Bartlet. Have we met?" Josh lectures her about Abby's making an end run around the process: "You're not supposed to do that." Amy: "I'm not supposed to, what -- run her office?" Josh warns Amy that Leo's onto whatever she's doing with HHS appropriations, and says he practically lied about it. "Practically"? Josh says that, time, he's not going to. Amy: "Am I going to come back from the Mess and find a horse's head on my desk?" Josh: "Don't tempt me." Amy says, "You got a problem, go ahead and call..." Josh: "Oh, like I'm going to get in between the Bartlets. Your job is to run it through the process." Amy says, "You're afraid we're going to get called into the principal's office." Josh: "I am the principal's office." Amy: "Call your mother."
Press briefing. A reporter asks whether POTUS is concerned that the poor employment rate will affect his political standing. C.J. says that POTUS is hopeful Congress will pass his new version of the stimulus package. Another reporter asks whether the President wishes his press were as good as Josh Lyman's. C.J.: "We've set up a whole wing in the White House to handle his paparazzi. I'm just hoping for a decent table at the Palm." Someone asks about the censored EPA report and wonders if the White House feels that's appropriate. C.J. parrots the line Leo gave her, to the effect that the report reflects the administration's views. Toby watches from the back. The reporter persists, saying, "Not the EPA's views. Their report cited stunted trees, poisoned fish, and wildlife as just some of the problems with coal. Hasn't this President always..." C.J. interjects the line approved by the Ministry of Leo. Another reporter asks why the White House tampered with an independent report. C.J. claims she's addressed that. Yet another reporter says she hasn't: "Why is all independent analysis subject to White House censorship?" Toby shifts uncomfortably. C.J.: "I don't accept your premise." Another reporter: "Doesn't the EPA..." C.J.: "I'm sure you all look forward to reading the actual report." The reporter who originally started this line of questioning says she's read both drafts: "The censored one and the original. Are you defending..." C.J. weakens: "If there was interference with an independent report, that was obviously a mistake." Toby swallows nervously. Cut to Leo, watching the briefing on TV and calling for Margaret. On the monitor, C.J. continues, "But I assure you, the final report will reflect administration policy. Sally?" C.J. looks down as she's asked about Fitz's pending retirement, knowing Leo's going to tear her a new one.
After the commercials, C.J. appears in Leo's office. He's sitting in the chair in front of his window, like an angry potentate on his throne. He says, "If there's something you want to say, say it now. Don't take it into the room." C.J. says the reporters had both drafts, and that there was nothing she could do. Leo cuts her off: "I gave you the line. Who said you could drop it?" C.J. points out that coal is the dirtiest energy on the planet: "That's worth censoring out of a report?" Leo says that what wasn't in that report was any mention of clean coal. C.J.: "Clean coal's an industry myth!" Leo says they turn it into gas and steam. C.J.'s nobody's fool: "Clean coal's like saying...'healthy botulism,' 'child-safe plutonium...'" Heh. Leo asks C.J. to tell him the alternative: "Short of getting people to stop using electricity." C.J.: "I don't know! Neither does the EPA, but they're trying to tell the truth and we gagged them and who gave us the right? Are we surprised our polls are down? We have a responsibility to the country. We can't just spin any line we make up!" Leo: "You have a responsibility to me. When I give you the line, that's the line." C.J.: "Not when no one will believe it!" Leo directs C.J. to put out a statement in her own name, stating what she should have said in the briefing: that the White House stands behind that report. C.J.'s incredulous: "You don't want me to do that." He does indeed. C.J.: "That's saying I wasn't speaking for this White House." Leo: "You weren't." He stands up and buttons his jacket. As he walks past her, he says, "On my desk within the hour." Don't be too surprised to find a letter of resignation instead, yo.
POTUS is in the Oval Office with Ed'n' Larry. Jed: "Violence prevention jumped another 30 million within the hour?" Larry says it's a bidding war. He asks if they know why it's happening. Ed'n'Larry look at each other in that "I don't want to tell him -- you tell him" kind of way. Ed -- who looks different for some reason I can't quite put my finger on; maybe his haircut? -- says it's a direct request from the First Lady to the members of the HHS Appropriations Subcommittee. Larry explains that since Zoey's abduction, FLOTUS is "hugely popular," even with Republicans. Ed says that FLOTUS's office requested it, so they're falling all over each other to fund it. Leo, listening in the background, wonders what it means for the CDC budget. He's informed that almost everything is being cut to make room: "Bioterror, infectious diseases..." Jed looks pretty stunned. Leo asks Jed if he'd like to call Abby. Jed would not. Ed'n'Larry offer to work with the Subcommittee, but Jed doesn't want that, either. He tells them not do anything.
Donna's typing at her computer while Swimtern fidgets around behind her. Without turning around, Donna warns him: "Don't touch that." He starts to reach for something else and she adds, "Don't touch that, either." She'll be an excellent mom. Josh arrives and calls out to him. Swimtern follows Josh into his office, where Josh asks, "Your family's had a lot of press attention, right?" Richie Rich replies, "My great-great-great granddad whipped up a lather when he annexed Cuba." I can't wait until Josh clocks this punk and says, "Welcome to The D.C., bitch! This is how we do it in the District of Columbia." Josh: "I meant...since Reconstruction." Richie shrugs and says that they get some press. Josh asks how Richie deals with it. Richie claims he never reads any of it. Josh: "Really?" Richie admits that he reads all of it. Josh: "So answer the question." Richie: "Let's just say the biggest enemy of truth isn't the lie; it's the myth." Josh: "Meaning what?" Richie: "Meaning I'd be better off if I never read any of it."
Toby arrives, and there's a delightfully awkward little moment when it's made clear through silent glances and expressions that Swimtern should swim along, now. He leaves, and Toby tells Josh, "Happy birthday, by the way." Josh: "Yeah, look, I really don't want you making a big deal out of it." Toby: "I was all done." Hee! That's our Toby. Toby says he walked the Minority Leader through the message calendar. Josh says, "Triplehorn oughta be jazzed -- his pension stuff's on there." Toby says that Triplehorn told him they're not giving Carrick his much-desired missile launcher. Josh: "The Minority Leader wants us to cave, right? If he could manage his own caucus, we wouldn't have this problem." Toby gently points out Carrick's vulnerability in Idaho: "We can't win back the Senate without him." Josh: "You're suggesting we build a multi-million-dollar heap of garbage even the DoD doesn't want?" Toby weakly suggests that sometimes they find other uses for such technology. Josh: "Great. They can turn it into a toaster that doesn't make toast. This has zero to do with defense technology." Toby says that Triplehorn thinks they're risking their best chance to get Carrick on board with the stimulus package and the tax bill. Josh insists that it's a bluff. Toby says that with a 49% job approval rate, it isn't the time to call bluffs. He says they have to get off this and onto their issues. Josh: "The stuff that this guy's already bilked us for, out of a state of about nine people..." Toby argues that as an Idaho Democrat, Carrick's an endangered species: "If he needs a little pork..." Josh: "The Volcanic Soil Museum? The canola oil fuel cell initiative?" Toby says it's low-fat pork. Josh continues: "The Shakespeare in Military Communities program? I mean, what the hell's wrong with Hemingway?" Well, Zelda Sayre Fitzgerald had a few ideas about that. (I believe her exact words were: "Bull-fighting, bull-slinging, bullshit." ["Word, Zelda." -- Wing Chun]) Toby suggests that they should cut their losses. Josh: "That's easy for you to say. I'm the one who lost him on stimulus. I'm the one who has to get him on our agenda. I'm the one lacing up concrete shoes on the front page of the Post." Yup, it's all about you. Chill, pal. I know it's your birthday and all, but it's not the front page; it's just the front page of the Style section. Big difference. Toby asks, "Been on a...you been on a fishing trawler recently?" He seems to be referring to the smell in Josh's office. Josh yells for Donna. Toby starts to leave, and Josh says, "I'm fine on Carrick. Do your job and I'll do mine." Toby looks like he'd like to say something about that, but thinks better of it. Donna arrives as Toby leaves, and Josh complains that his office stinks like "Moby Dick's gym locker." Donna asks, "What do you expect? There was a fish here all night." Josh: "All night?" Donna says that Amy left it the night before. I knew it was her. Doesn't seem to have occurred to Josh.
Amy's working in her office when suddenly, without warning, POTUS arrives. She stands up and says, nervously, "Mr. President." Yeah, where's all that "principal's office" bravado now? Jed gestures for Amy to sit, but she doesn't. Jed says they're doing pretty well on violence prevention: "They were going to gut it. First Lady really turned it around." Amy stumbles over her words: "I hope you don't...we probably should have run it through, um, Legislative Affairs...." You mean, like you would have if you understood how to do your job? You mean, like Josh told you to? Jed: "Nah, I'm not going to have Abby jump through hoops." Amy: "You know, intimate partner violence affects more people than breast cancer [does]." Jed: "How many calls today?" Amy: "Sir?" Jed: "The First Lady -- how many calls did she make to members of the Subcommittee today?" Amy's mental wheels spin in the muck and she says nothing. Jed continues: "No calls. She's hiking in the White Mountains. She made no calls. You made them." Amy emits a little sound and then says, "It's a cause she believes in...." Jed: "Don't tell me what she believes." Amy: "I'm telling the Congress...this isn't...." Jed: "My wife is not a budget appropriation. She's not a line. Don't put words in her mouth. Don't treat her like she's your blank chequebook." Jed turns to go, and Amy, looking tearful, takes off her glasses and says, "Due respect, sir, it's what she'd want." Yeah, that wasn't a good idea. Jed turns and says with authority, "She has to be here to want things!" He adds, "And you don't have to be here at all." Amy's taken aback. She always seems like the sort of person who would throw rocks at a window and yet be surprised when it breaks. Has she no foresight, no ability to imagine that actions have consequences? Also: man, I'm sure it's not fun to have your ass chewed by Bartlet, but I'd be more upset that Martin Sheen had talked to me that way than Jed Bartlet. But as a viewer, I usually enjoy it when Jed's mad. Martin Sheen sure can bring the pissitude.
An assistant I'm pretty sure we've never seen before is working with Toby. Where is Ginger? Where's Bonnie, for that matter? Wastin' away again in Mandyville, I suppose. Toby and the assistant are hassling over the colour-coding of the message calendar. Will arrives, and Toby asks if he got VPOTUS to sign off. Will: "Not exactly." Toby: "What did you get, exactly?" Will: "He offered me a job last night as his chief strategist." Toby laughs. Will would like to know what's funny. Toby: "Russell's an empty cowboy suit; you work for the leader of the free world...." Toby makes vague weighing gestures with his hands. Will corrects him: "No, I work for a guy who works for a guy who works for the leader of the free world." Sounds like somebody's already made his decision. Not-Ginger comes back to tell Toby that the Treasury Secretary is ready in the Roosevelt Room. Will walks into his office and tosses a paper down with annoyance. Toby reminds her that he needs the calendar, and walks into Will's office. Will says, "He has private lunches with the President. Direct access. He's not taking orders from us." Toby asks what he told Russell. Will hasn't told him anything -- yet. Toby: "You're not considering it." It's not a question. Will says that the clock's running out. Toby: "You are not considering it!" Will asks how many months they're going to spend making calendars. Toby: "You think I want to be making calendars? You think I like being in a PR dogfight with Congress, writing banner copy for photo ops?" He's yelling now. Not-Ginger reminds Toby that the Treasury Secretary is waiting, adding, "Did you want all this flush right?" Toby looks at Will, as if he doesn't know what to say. Then he turns to Not-Ginger: "Calendars aren't...." He sighs. "It's a calendar. Make it look like a calendar. How hard is that?" He turns to Will and says, "This is the NBA. You don't go back to shirts and skins." Somehow that point might be more compelling if he weren't being asked for guidance on margins by an assistant. Will looks unconvinced.
Amy walks down the hall to Josh's office, walks in, and sits down. Josh is typing away, and takes note of her arrival, but doesn't say anything. She waits in vain for him to show her the kind of empathy in which she herself is so resplendent, finally commenting, "'Gee Amy, looks like you've had a tough day. Why don't you tell me all about it while I give you a foot massage?'" Ugh, again with her feet. Josh shoves his keyboard drawer in, pushes his chair back, and says, "Okay, let's talk about the fish. You don't understand this building." Amy: "Not being an architect or a steamfitter." You know what? Maybe not so much for you with the metaphors. Josh isn't kidding around: "I'm talking about a code, an ethos you don't understand. Amy: "Josh, I was just...." He brings up the story in the Post, saying: "All those anecdotes, all those quotes came from you." Amy: "Happy birthday." I can't tell if she planned it for his birthday, or is just making a smart remark now that she can see he's not happy about it. Josh: "We don't glorify ourselves! How is the President going to feel when I've got better press than him [sic]? How's every punk Congressional staffer going to feel when I'm taking victory laps the week after losing a key vote?" Amy: "They'll feel like you're not going to lose the one." Josh: "We don't advertise! It's not the code." Amy asks, "It's not the code to look strong to your constituents, to build yourself up so...." Josh: "The only constituency that matters in this building is the constituency of one: the guy in the round room, and that's who [sic] I work for." Amy stands up, complaining as she walks out, "I came here to be work on issues, not to be part of a messianic cult." Josh says, "You serve the issues by serving the man." Amy turns around and says, "Well, I'm pretty sure 'the man' just revoked my parking privileges!" Josh asks what she's talking about. She says she's pretty sure she was just fired by POTUS for doing her job. She seems close to crying. Josh: "HHS appropriations." Amy nods, "Sort of." Josh advises her to go and apologize. Amy: "I've got a constituency of one, too, Josh, but it's me." Josh and Amy both notice that Donna's appeared at the door, looking uncomfortable and sheepish. Josh gets up and walks out to talk to Donna, asking Amy to hang on for a second.
Donna tells Josh that Carrick held up another fifty-six promotions, and that the Army Secretary wants a meeting. Josh: "Unless the meeting is to strap Chris Carrick to his idiot missile launcher and fling him head-first into an ICBM -- which he'll miss -- then I'm not...." Donna interrupts to say that the Army Secretary is concerned about this becoming public. Josh says he's making it public: he's planning to leak it to "every newspaper in the known universe." Donna's wondering if Josh is sure that's a good idea, but Josh is already marching off, saying that he's calling Carrick's bluff: "I'm making him crawl down here on his knees." Josh says he'll be in the press office. Donna glances back at Josh's door, where Amy's standing forlornly, like the last preschooler to be picked up from day care.
Toby comes back to the bullpen and says to Will, "Sorry about before." Toby seems really uncomfortable and resigned as he tells him, "You have a future...here. Uh...we should talk about it." Will says he'd like to, as they go into Will's office. Toby says, "My portfolio, the speeches, the day-to-day...I'm gonna give it to you." Will: "You're leaving?" He says it more like a statement than a question, though. Toby says he's stepping back to do "big-think" and "work on the legacy." Will: "You're never going to give up the job. You're not capable of giving it up. You could move from Pennsylvania Avenue to the state of Pennsylvania, and...." Toby: "It's a Commonwealth." Will: "Fine, I'm trying to...." They talk over each other a bit and Will says, "I don't want your job!" Toby wants to know why not. Who wouldn't, with all the obvious joy it brings Toby? Will: "'Cause Bartlet's never going to finish the job he started. Name an issue: you're still clawing your way back. Someone has to be ready to take the handoff." Toby looks sad and not terribly surprised: "You took the Russell job." Will doesn't answer in words. He just looks at Toby, who says, "This isn't a line on a résumé. None of us...." He drops his hand and says, "You don't walk away," as he walks out. Will says, "We're on the same team!" Toby definitely does not see it that way: "Yeah, well, maybe we'll print up t-shirts."
C.J. knocks on Leo's door. He looks up and asks if she has her statement on the coal thing. She hands him a copy without meeting his eyes, and informs him that it just went out. She turns to leave as Leo says, "There's a typo in the...." She quickly says that Carol caught it. She asks, "Is that all?" Leo walks behind his desk and says he doesn't like coal any more than C.J. does: "But sometime tomorrow, we're going to get the full results of that poll, and I'm going to have to fix the President a drink and tell him his numbers are crumbling -- that the dogs don't like the dog food -- on the eve of a big budget fight." C.J. knows. Leo continues, "We attack the coal industry, and however many thousand coal miners, and what's our answer? Nuclear? Drill in the Arctic? Forty percent unemployment in West Virginia?" C.J.: "No." Leo: "Like it or not, we're the Saudi Arabia of coal. Coal's what we've got." C.J. walks closer to Leo, but her arms are still folded: "The EPA's an independent agency, Leo." He replies, "The day we don't get blamed for their screwups, that's when we count 'em as independent." C.J. firmly says, "I disagree." Leo says, "Okay." She adds, "And holding your line makes it a two- or three-day story, at the least. The whole room thinks we screwed up whether we admit it or not." Leo sharply says, "You made that point." C.J. continues, "I appreciate your apology, but if I'm going to fulfill my duty to the country, I don't just need to know what you're thinking; I need to know that you're listening to me when I say you made a mistake." Leo makes his position very clear: "I'm not apologizing to you. I'm telling you my thinking as a courtesy. But you work for me. When I make a decision, that's the decision. If you can't back it up, don't go in the Briefing Room." If this were four years ago, C.J.'d be in tears now, but she's holding it together, and is only barely watery-eyed. She says, "We are here to serve the country." Leo states, "We are the country." Wow. Talk about having lost direction. Professor Frink -- who just got home during the last commercial break -- starts singing "We Are The World." C.J. just nods as respectfully as she can and hightails it outta there without another word.
Amy comes to see Jed in the Oval Office. Jed starts out, "The Flemish Bloc is gaining in the north." Naturally, she has no idea what he's on about. Jed explains: "The Flemish Bloc, ultra-nationalists in Belgium. Skinheads, really; neo-Nazis. They're wearing three-piece suits, speaking in coded discourse now, instead of angry chants, and they're gaining in the north. When everyone wears the same suit, how does anyone know which side they're on anymore?" What? Maybe we could make everyone wear black or white hats. Or provide helpful title cards. Like the three-piece suit wearers have always been "the good guys." Whatever. That sounds like it was written by the same person who came up with the gem "My little girl is a case number now." Amy clearly has no patience with this nonsense either; she cuts to the chase: "You asked to see me, Mr. President?" He tells her she's not fired: "Abby would choose you over me, anyway." Amy decides to sit down, and says, "I think it's best for me to leave, sir. What I did today -- lobbying, prodding, prying money out of that HHS Subcommittee -- that's what I'm good at. I wasn't...made to serve at someone else's pleasure. I don't think my staying would please anyone, anyway." Jed says he hasn't discussed this with Abby: "Zoey told me she was hiking." Amy muses, "This building's not very conducive to relationships, sir." I guess that depends on whether you're Monica or Hillary. Amy gets up, saying she'll call the members of the Subcommittee before she leaves. Jed says, "Tell them the First Lady wants violence prevention fully funded." Amy asks, "A hundred million?" Jed, feeling lavish, says, "Make it a hundred and ten." Amy smiles a little as she closes the door. So...is she still working there, or what? I think not, but only because they've got to get Mary-Louise Parker out of there before her pregnancy gets any more obvious. But I'll bet she'll be back as Russell's fundraiser someday, or something like that.
Leo's out on the portico alone -- smoking. Uh-oh. I'm a little concerned we're going down Relapse Road, especially since that's a favourite ER storyline, and while I have all faith in John Spencer's ability to do a beautiful job that leaves the scenery intact, I'm rather less confident that the writers won't hand him some pretty clichéd and tired lines. I suppose it's plausible enough that he might be headed for a relapse, given the incredible stress he's been under, and the problems that seem to just keep mounting up. Also: I love those lanterns in the ceiling of the portico.
And here comes Toby to make things worse. Leo puts out his cigarette as Toby asks, "You were looking for me?" Leo asks, "What did you want to talk about with the President?" Toby wonders, "Did I forget the secret password?" Leo says nothing. Toby sits down to him on the bench and says, "We talked about my giving up Communications, leaving it to Will and focusing on big-picture..." Leo says it's not the time. Toby would like to know when it will be the time. Leo just kind of looks away. Toby gets up again, and says, "Message of the day, top of the news hour...our second term and we're acting like a losing campaign." Leo: "You're not going in there to lecture him." Toby: "Stop protecting him." Leo: "It's my job to protect him. It's your job to get us back on message." Toby insists that Will can do it: "I'll supervise him." Leo says he already does. Toby shrugs, asking, "What does that matter?" Leo snaps, "It matters 'cause I need you doing what you're doing now." He stands up and walks over to Toby: "I'm holding this together with Scotch tape and baling wire." Toby: "We have an economic policy held together with Scotch tape and baling wire. FDR built the middle class in a hundred days. How many days do we even have left?" Leo: "Forty-nine percent. We can't start another New Deal." Toby: "How about fighting for the old one, instead of haggling with Republicans over how much to cut?" Failing that, I'm sure there some Arab country that hasn't been invaded recently. That's always good for a surge in the polls.
Toby talks about how the nine million jobs Bartlet created are starting to disappear: "They build TVs in Mexico for a dollar a day on dirt floors with cardboard walls...." Leo: "And that's our fault?" Toby: "It's on our watch, Leo. Where's our hundred days? Where's our Great Society? Where's our New Frontier?" Oh, it's always in the last place you look. Toby insists: "Somebody's got to do what we came here to do!" If this were a regular workplace, this is the point at which someone from HR would hatch the bright idea that everybody needs to be sent away to a big two-or three-day communication workshop so they can do a lot of touchy-feely exercises, and get in touch with their vision again, and "architect" a new mission statement. Thank God this isn't a regular workplace. Toby continues pounding his points home: "Those jobs aren't coming back. We lose or cave every battle we have with Congress. And we have a calendar, not a plan." Leo tells Toby: "Will's going to work for the Vice-President." Aw. I kinda wish we'd gotten to see Will tell Leo and Jed. But actually, I'm glad he's going to do that. I think it will make things more interesting. Toby looks like he didn't really believe it until now, and he starts to walk away, saying, "I'm asking the President not to let him." Leo says that POTUS told Russell he could have Will: "It's done." Toby goes back into the building. Hope Will's wearing a parka. Margaret comes out with a note as Toby leaves and heads for Leo. He asks, "You got a problem with your job?" Without missing a beat, Margaret says, "I could use one of those ergonomic chairs...." Ha! You should have heard the hooting in our living room. Perhaps you did. I am definitely taking that as a shout-out. Sure, maybe it was just Margaret being Margaret, but I'm counting it anyway. As he reads the note, Leo mumbles, "Never mind."
Josh runs into Donna in a hallway and asks, "Hey, anything from Amy?" Donna says she left messages everywhere for Amy to come see him. Josh looks very weary. Donna says, "This isn't about the dead fish?" Josh says it's not, exactly. Donna asks what happened. Josh explains that they both think Amy's been fired, and he unloaded on her: "She'll be...ah, I don't know what she'll be." Donna: "Find her. Forget about budget bills and poll samples and missile launchers -- go find her." Ever the romantic. Josh asks, "What else have I got?" She tells him that Carrick's in the Roosevelt Room. Josh: "Chris Carrick's here? Now?" Donna nods slightly. A vague expression of irritation crosses Josh's face, but he doesn't say anything. He just heads for the Roosevelt Room.
On his way, Josh sees Amy walking through a hall, but she doesn't see him. He pauses for a moment outside the Roosevelt Room, considering his options. Carrick sees Josh, and says his name, so Josh goes into the Roosevelt Room. As he enters, Amy sees him through one of the French doors, and stops to look at him for a second; she looks sad and disappointed. He looks pained. Carrick remarks, "Well, that was quite a press coup, telling the Idaho papers about my anonymous hold." Josh asks what he can do for him. Carrick: "You know what? Absolutely nothing. I've released the military promotions. I can't defend that to the people of Idaho." Josh: "Well, I hope that lesson won't be lost when our new stimulus package hits the floor." Carrick says it won't be. Josh: "Good." He turns to leave, but Carrick says he needs one last favour from him, and hands him a letter: "I'd like you to present that to the President." Josh asks what it is; Carrick explains that it's his letter of resignation from the Democratic Party. He says, "I'm running as a Republican in my election." Josh: "You're switching parties because we won't give you a launcher that doesn't even...." Carrick interrupts: "The launcher is a deterrent. The launcher says we're serious about perfecting missile defense, so rogue governments don't build missile programs." Josh sneers, "You can't be serious..." Carrick insists, "Building it is more important than whether it works. We don't want it to ever have to work." That is just dumb-ass. God, if money is going to be spent on defense, at least spend it something that does work, or could work, not on something you already know doesn't. Josh says they can't win back the Senate without Idaho: "We can't pass the tax bill, the new stimulus package...." Yeah, Carrick really cares about any of that. Carrick's on his way out when Josh -- desperate to salvage what he can -- starts bargaining: "I'll get you a meeting with Fitzwallace. A meeting with the President." Carrick stops at the door and says, "I don't work for the President. I don't work for you. I work for the people of Idaho." Josh: "You're leaving the party be-- this is 'cause of me?" Carrick: "I'm not leaving 'cause of you. But you made it a whole lot easier." He and his flunky exit, leaving Josh dumsquizzled.
Josh walks out into the hall, slightly dazed, holding the letter out awkwardly. Margaret sees him from down the hall and says that Leo wants him in the Mural Room. He changes his dazed course and drifts down that way. He opens the door, and sure enough, everybody's there yelling, "Surprise!" They're throwing confetti and bleating on those paper noisemakers. Most of them sing "Happy Birthday," and Jed beams at Josh. Josh can't wipe the shell-shocked look off his face, but he sort of makes an effort. And if you look very carefully, when he opened the door you could see his cake, which is in the shape of a big grey fish. A fish cake. If that's not a shout-out, I don't know what is.