This week, it's all C.J., all the time. The episode begins with C.J. on an honest-to-God date with Danny Concannon. Of course, the date ends in about five seconds after Danny drops the bombshell that he's heard rumors that Doug Westin (President Bartlet's son-in-law who is running for Congress) had an affair with the family nanny. C.J. is especially concerned about this because Jed is scheduled to campaign with Doug, and she doesn't want anything to happen that will embarrass the President. When C.J. arrives at the White House the day, she learns that the Sudanese government and the independent militia it supports have begun attacking refugee camps in Darfur. The easiest action to take in response to this is to impose U.N. sanctions on Sudanese oil exports, but everyone expects China to veto such a resolution. And finally, Josh is pressuring C.J. to have Jed announce the opening of a major federal research facility in Austin in order to improve the Santos campaign's chances in Texas. Unfortunately, C.J. had already promised a senator from Kentucky that they would not announce the research facility out of concern that it would hurt his own chances for reelection. Of course, C.J. solves all of these dilemmas. She strong-arms Doug into withdrawing his request that Jed campaign with him, and sticks to her guns even after it becomes clear that Jed's daughter Liz already knows about Doug's affair and really wants her father to help Doug to win the election. As for Sudan, C.J. puts together a complicated deal in which the U.S. will not object to the resumption of European arms sales to China in exchange for China's not vetoing a German resolution imposing sanctions on Sudan. And she agrees to have Jed announce the research lab in Austin in exchange for a joint trip by Jed and Santos to campaign for the senator from Kentucky. And she caps all of this off with another date with Danny, at which I think he was about to propose to her. Unfortunately, she's called away halfway through his romantic speech by news that there may be a major nuclear accident taking place in California.
We open in a nearly empty restaurant, very fancy-looking. Danny Concannon is sitting alone at a table with his laptop in front of him. We get a shot from the POV of someone walking up to his table. Danny closes the laptop and smiles, very happy to see whoever it is. Of course, the "whoever" is C.J. She apologizes, telling him that he should be drinking. Hmmm, I think she's trying to get him drunk. As it turns out, that's probably not a necessary tactic. He stands and greets her with a kiss on the cheek. He demonstrates his sharp journalistic perceptiveness, telling her, "You look incredible." C.J. tries to deflect the compliment, but he won't let her duck it. He asks her how the President is doing; C.J. is clearly thinking of Danny as a reporter and not a date, because she stops to clarify that the question is off the record. When he reassures her that it is, she pauses and then tells him that Jed is doing great. We'll have to take her word for it, since we barely get to see him nowadays. She tells him, "I'm surprised you called. I vaguely remembered shunning you." C.J. fusses with her napkin, but while she looks nervous, she's also smiling a gorgeous smile. Danny tells her that the restaurant kept the kitchen open for them, and C.J. waves a waitress over so they can get menus and order. The waitress asks if they want to hear the specials, and Danny tells her that he'd like to. So the waitress starts reading them off of a sheet of paper in her hand. C.J. immediately interrupts her, asking, "Is this from a list?" The waitress is confused, so C.J. clarifies: "The specials? Are they written down somewhere?" I would hazard a guess that they are written down on the sheet of paper in the waitress's hand. But that's just me. C.J. asks if they can just have the list: "We'll read that. We're readers." As opposed to every other guest at the restaurant, all of whom are illiterate. (Just to show you the kind of restraint I've developed, this is where I would have put in a joke about this being a Republican restaurant. But I've matured, so I won't.) The waitress hands the list to C.J. and, seeming slightly put off, leaves them to peruse the menu. Which they both do.
C.J. tells Danny, "A night out. This is like a week in Aruba." Danny does my job by pointing out that it's just like that, "except it's cold and dark." C.J. totally misses the joke, and tells Danny not to try to be funny: "Relaxing makes me nervous. It feels like I'm missing something." After another second, she asks him why he invited her there. He clarifies that she really wants him to cut to the chase. He gets kind of awkward, telling her that he's having performance anxiety, so she offers to read the menu while he works up his nerve. And then he tells her, "I wanted to see you." She seems surprised that that's all he wanted, and he tells her, "I know you've always had a thing about reporters." She tells him that she doesn't have "a thing" about reporters, but that they do tick her off because they seem so focused on celebrity and fame instead of helping to inform the public debate. Except that she rants a lot more when she says it. So he comes back with his own rant about politicians, accusing them of being more interested in putting on a show than in showing any guts. Since I live in D.C., I've had more than my fair chance to see politicians wandering around, and I have to say that very few of them have guts that I'd like to see. C.J. points out that they have to put on the show to get elected, and Danny tells her, "Your boss never has to get elected, ever again. But you guys are content running out the clock with the same game of well-intentioned defense you've always played." He warns her, "Don't get hypnotized by complexity. Make it count."
They reach a little détente, and he asks her what she's working on. It's the usual: "I'm trying to keep China and Russia from annihilating the northern hemisphere over oil in Kazakhstan." Danny's current work isn't so impressive -- he's covering a couple of House races. He asks if C.J.'s heard anything about Doug Westin. It turns out that he's within striking distance of winning the election in New Hampshire, and has asked Jed to campaign with him. C.J. asks why Danny's so curious, and it turns out that he's met Doug and found him fairly unimpressive. C.J.: "Are you implying that success in politics isn't a question of inherent value?" C.J. suggests that they actually proceed to the dinner portion of the evening, and she turns to the menu, proclaiming, "Fish is a stupid thing to get in a restaurant." Danny's response to this is not quite as cryptic: "I think he may be bangin' the nanny." C.J., shocked, asks him to repeat himself, and then asks, "Is that a euphemism?" He says it's not, and then allows that "banging" probably is a euphemism. He tells her that the rumor about Doug and the nanny is flying around quite a bit in New Hampshire, and it's likely to hit the press before too long. C.J., still looking shocked, tells him that she has to go. Danny, the foolish boy, seems completely shocked that this gossip would send her flying off to work. He tells her that she's hungry and has to eat, and she responds, "Get the steak. Tell me how it was." As she's walking away, he calls out, "Can I see you again?" She tells him he can, and when he asks when, she responds, "As soon as we're out of office." Credits.
Morning in the West Wing. C.J. and Kate pedeconference, talking about the situation in Kazakhstan and the problems in arranging a peaceful election. The bullet on the situation is that the Chinese troops are still waiting at the border, but that any single incident of ethnic violence could result in an invasion. They've made their way to C.J.'s office, and she asks Kate about the attacks in the Sudan. It turns out that Janjaweed militia, supported by government helicopters, attacked a refugee camp in Darfur. The combined attacks by the Janjaweed and government troops in western Sudan are nothing new, but this is the first time they've hit a refugee camp. C.J. notices something on the monitor over Kate's shoulder and turns up the volume. It's a little snippet of general news coverage of Doug's campaign. Once C.J. realizes there's nothing shocking in the report, she turns the volume down and gets back to Sudan. It turns out the African Union peacekeepers are overwhelmed, which could result in all of the humanitarian groups pulling out. Which would essentially doom the refugees to death by disease and starvation. Or, as Kate puts it, "genocide on smack." C.J. tells Kate that she wants to take some kind of action on the Sudan, and Kate just seems incredulous. C.J. proposes a U.N. Security Council resolution imposing sanctions on Sudanese oil. Or, as she puts it, "Let's chop the financial balls off these genocidal bastards in Khartoum." She's kind of turning me on right now. Kate points out that everyone has agreed that China would veto such a resolution, which is why nobody has tried to do it before. C.J. thinks that U.S. involvement in Kazakhstan gives the U.S. leverage with China. Kate asks, "Is this coming from the President?" C.J., with authority in her voice, responds, "It's coming from me. I'm gonna see what I can get and then take it to him." Kate thinks for a second, and suggests that if the Chinese know the flow of oil from Kazakhstan is secure, they may be willing to give up oil from the Sudan. However, it can't look as though the U.S. is arranging all of this, because it will upset the Russians. So they decide to find a patsy. Uh, I mean "proxy." Kate suggests that France and Germany might be willing to help out, since they both want to resume arms sales to China but can't do so without U.S. cooperation.
C.J. calls for Margaret and tells her to get the French ambassador. Margaret tells C.J. that Will is there. Kate asks, nervously, "Will?" As Will enters, Kate tells C.J. that she has to leave, and she awkwardly squeezes past him in the doorway. Although it was only awkward on her part -- Will was totally checking out her rack. Margaret also tells C.J. that Josh is waiting in the Roosevelt room for a campaign coordination meeting. C.J. expected that to be a call, but Margaret told her that since Josh was in town, they scheduled a face-to-face meeting. Also, Margaret tells her that some refugees' rights activist called several times looking for a meeting, and that Margaret gave him the brush-off. C.J. interrupts, telling her, "Squeeze him in." Margaret seems surprised, but C.J. tells her, "Why not?" Margaret leaves.
C.J. looks at Will and tells him, "You, I need." Don't get excited -- we all know there's no way C.J. would take a pass on Danny Concannon just to go after Will. Will asks, "What's wrong?" C.J. tells him to close the door, and he tells her, "I didn't do it." Again, she tells him to close the door, and he responds, "Toby did it." Heh. C.J. speaks for a generation when she tells him, "Shut up." Will closes the door and walks back to C.J.'s desk. Where she sits, just staring at him. Will gets nervous, and starts stammering: "Seriously, I don't react well to this. It's like staring at a dog." Surprisingly, C.J. does not strike him down where he stands. Instead, after a bit more silence, she tells him, "I think Doug Westin is having an affair with his nanny." Will becomes very agitated, telling her, "Geez, I don't want to know that. Why did you tell me that?" She tells him that she doesn't want him to get blindsided by the press, and he reminds her that when dealing with the press he would often much rather be ignorant. She tells him, "Suck it up." Bradley Whitford (who wrote tonight's episode) is clearly getting revenge on Josh Malina for some practical joke, because Will is forced to utter the lines, "I can't act. I'm a terrible actor." But the real reason C.J. told will about the affair is that she wants him to dig around and find out if there's any truth to the rumor. He asks her, "How?" C.J.: "You'll figure it out." Will seems stunned, and C.J. tells him that she needs to know so that she can decide whether Jed should campaign for Doug. C.J.: "We've already lost a Vice-President to a sex scandal. I feel like I'm handing out towels at the Playboy mansion." Not to be a pig, but if C.J. were at the Playboy mansion, she wouldn't be handing out towels -- she'd be the main attraction. C.J. tells Will, "Open the door." She has to repeat it a couple of times before he gets it. He opens the door to Margaret's office, and then he and C.J. try to walk through it at the same time. After they bump shoulders, she stops and asks him, "Did you take an awkward pill?" He mutters, "No. I'm always like this."
C.J. and Will enter the Roosevelt Room, where Josh is waiting for them. Josh calls Will "Briefer Boy." Which is better than "Briefs Boy." Josh refers to the briefings as "brutal," calling them "a medieval wonk-baiting." But he's clearly joking. C.J. jumps right into the substance of the meeting, asking what Josh wants in terms of Cabinet members on the campaign trail. Josh tells her that he has another meeting set up for that -- right now, he wants to know what Jed's availability will be for the rest of the campaign. C.J. tells him that they need to keep a few people in the White House to, "you know, run the country." Josh: "Yeah, I don't care about that." They engage in some meaningless political chitchat, and then Josh reminds them that Santos does better wherever people think the country is moving in the right direction. To that end, he would like the White House to schedule as many announcements as possible about pork spending so that people on the receiving end of the pork will feel that the country is moving in the right direction. (Make your own jokes about being on the receiving end of the pork.) Josh mentions that he doesn't want them to do anything they wouldn't otherwise do, and then asks for an announcement about the Molecular Transport Lab in Texas week. Wait, we're studying molecular transport? I just carried a bowl of soup across my kitchen -- can I get a grant for that? C.J. points out, "You just said you didn't want us to do anything we weren't doing anyway." Josh isn't asking them to make any change in where the lab will be located -- he just wants the announcement moved up. C.J. tells him that no decision has been made about the location of the lab, so there's nothing to announce. Josh has intelligence to the contrary. And then he leaves, telling her that he'll be back at 4:00 for his meeting to schedule campaigning by Cabinet officials. Will asks C.J. how Josh knows that a decision has already been made about the lab. C.J. thinks it might be a rumor, or that Josh might be bluffing.
They start walking back to C.J.'s office, and Will points out that the senior Senator from Kentucky will be mighty upset if they announce that the lab is going to Texas (and therefore not going to Kentucky) before the election, since one of his major arguments for reelection is that he can bring home the pork. By now, they've arrived at C.J.'s office, and Margaret tells her that the French Ambassador is waiting in the Mural Room. Will and C.J. continue their chat on the way to the Mural Room. C.J. tells Will that she promised the Senator from Kentucky that they would not announce the location of the lab until after the election. C.J. stops to sign some random piece of paper a lackey holds out to her, and she tells Will, "You're doing it again." He's confused, asking what he's doing. C.J.: "Just standing there in front of me." Now he's even more confused, telling her, "I thought we were talking." C.J.: "That's over now. Go see what you can find out about the nanny." Will still doesn't know how he's supposed to do that, but C.J. interrupts, telling him, "Walk away from me now."
Mural Room. C.J. pours some water and starts speaking to the French Ambassador about the Sudan. Frenchy has already heard about the attacks on the camps, although he calls them "internally displaced people's camps." He agrees that the attacks are awful. C.J. tells him that they want to cut off the flow of money to the government in order to try to stop the genocide. He points out that the European Union has formally condemned the genocide, and she tells him, "The perpetrators do not care." That's the problem with most genocidal maniacs -- they don't really care what others think of them. Frenchy points out that French students have launched a divestiture campaign. C.J. turns that to her advantage, pointing to it as a sign that the French government has "the domestic constituency to support bold action." She tells him that the U.S. may be willing to support reopening French arms sales to China in exchange for a U.N. resolution sanctioning Sudanese oil. He immediately tells her that China will veto such a resolution. She tells him, "They might," but he tells her there's no doubt about it. He blusters, "If it was up to me, NATO troops would have been on the ground in the Sudan years ago." She asks if he's offering French troops for a NATO peacekeeping mission, and he backtracks, claiming that it's best for the African Union troops to solve what is an African problem. She tells him, "We would all prefer an African solution, but it's not working." He tells her that they have to study the root of the problem, and suggests that, for too long, the U.S. went easy on the Sudanese government out of a desire to gain its assistance in gathering intelligence on extremis Islamist terrorist groups. He continues, "When we push things to the side, often they come back to haunt us." Ultimately, it comes down to the fact that the French government will not introduce the resolution because it will hurt relations with China. Frenchy: "You are so fond of calling yourselves the leaders of the free world. So, lead." Commercials.
C.J. walks into Will's office and asks, "What do you got?" Whatever she's looking for, he hasn't got it. He tried to learn out about Doug's nanny situation, but couldn't find a tactful way to call people in New Hampshire and ask if Doug Westin "is committing adultery with the nanny." C.J. is not happy with this development, telling him, "You have to be a little more artful than that." Will just doesn't think that's possible: "The segue hasn't been invented that takes us from 'How's the weather,' to 'Is Doug Westin hammering the nanny?'" C.J. calls him "useless," but it turns out that he was able to learn that Doug and Elizabeth's 26-year-old nanny was let go in August and is now in Europe. He also learned that a lot of reporters (including Danny) are "talking to people off the record about Doug." Finally, he found a picture of the family that included the nanny: "That's the nanny, right there. Which makes me think he did it." C.J. gives him a look, and he tells her, "Just look at her." She asks him what he means, and he says, "I'm just saying…" C.J.: "Yeah, I can see your mouth moving. You're just saying what?" Will just thinks that the hotness of the nanny makes him think that Doug was tappin' her. So to speak. C.J. is morally outraged, pointing out that the Westins have children. Will: "Sure. It'd be stupid to have a nanny if you didn't have kids." He again admires the nanny's hotness, and C.J. becomes quite impatient. Will tells her that he thought she was looking for the male perspective. C.J.: "Always. I find it raises the level of the discussion." Before the conversation ends, Will offers C.J. one piece of advice: "There's only one thing worse than telling the President of the United States his son-in-law's having an affair. Telling the President of the United States his son-in-law's having an affair and then finding out you were wrong." After hearing those words of wisdom, C.J. leaves his office.
Danny is standing…somewhere, in what looks like it might be a crowd of reporters. Actually, there's some lettering on a far wall -- I think he's supposed to be in the offices of something called The Washington Leader. Worst newspaper name ever. His cell phone rings -- it's C.J., calling from her office. She tells him, "I'm concerned with the President, and I don't want to have to walk your dumb-ass gauntlet of journalistic ethics, so I'll make this easy for you." I somehow suspect that with C.J., the easy way isn't much easier than the hard way. She quickly proves me right, telling Danny, "I'm gonna say a sentence, and if it's true, you just don't say anything. Clear?" As mud. Danny wonders if that strategy isn't just a bit risky, seeing as how he's talking on his cell phone and could get cut off at any moment. C.J., who clearly doesn't use Sprint, tells him, "That's not gonna happen." Danny has just walked onto a crowded elevator, and he points that fact out to her. She screams at him, "Well, get off now, mister!" See -- I told you there wasn't much difference between the easy way and the hard way. Danny shoves his way to the front of the elevator, sticks his hand between the doors, and exits. Margaret runs into C.J.'s office to make sure she's okay. C.J., still holding the phone, takes a step towards Margaret to get her out of the office and close the door. As she does so, the base of the phone gets pulled towards her and pushes Gail's fishbowl to the edge of the desk. As C.J. closes the door, Gail's bowl plummets off the desk. C.J. makes a dive and catches it before it hits the floor, with Gail and most of the water still inside. Her shout as she does so brings Margaret running back in. C.J. is kneeling on the ground holding the bowl while Margaret gapes at her and Danny's tinny voice comes out of the telephone handset, saying things like, "Claudia Jean? Are you there?" Margaret picks up on the fact that C.J. wants some privacy. Instead of leaving immediately, however, she makes the odd (even for Margaret) decision to turn her back to C.J. and slowly tells her, "Steve Lawson from Refugee Rights Alliance is out here."
As Margaret leaves, C.J. slowly puts the fishbowl back on the desk and picks up the telephone, telling Danny, "I almost killed my fish?" Danny: "On purpose?" C.J.: "Why would I do that?" Danny points out that she's been under a lot of pressure -- maybe she just snapped and went ichthycidal. Before C.J. can ask her question, Danny interrupts and tells her, "I'll tell you anything you want to know if you'll have dinner with me tomorrow night." Without much hesitation, C.J. agrees. They decide to meet at the same place the last met. C.J. asks Danny, "If I went to the President with the information you brought to my attention, would I be making a mistake?" Danny tells her, "Nope. See you tomorrow night." Wait, I thought if what she said was true he wasn't supposed to say anything? (And lest you think I'm only pretending to be confused, I spent most of the rest of the episode waiting for some twist to occur based on exactly that mix-up.) C.J. is not confused, however. She just sighs, and hangs up the phone.
C.J. opens the door to her office and welcomes Steve Lawson. They make very little small talk before he gets down to business, telling her that he's there about the situation in Darfur. He asks if the administration has officially responded to the attack on the camps, and C.J. coolly tells him, "We condemned it." He asks her if she wants to start with the numbers or the horror stories, and she tells him, "Neither." He's not actually interested in what she wants to hear, so he starts running through the litany of horrors: "Three million displaced, four hundred thousand dead. Children forced to watch their mothers raped and their fathers killed. Current death toll per month: six thousand. If the humanitarian organizations are forced to withdraw: one hundred thousand per month." C.J. interrupts him as he's about to bring out some photos, telling him, "I don't need to see photographs." And then I feel kicked in the gut as Steve tells her, "When the babies die, the mothers don't know how to put 'em down, so they carry them around. On this planet. On your watch." I often don't like it when this show gets into real-world political problems, because the writers usually oversimplify for bad dramatic effect. But this seems about as simple as it needs to be. They sit in silence for a moment, and then C.J. just says, "Yeah." Steve tells her that he's finally starting to understand the Buddhist monk in Vietnam who set himself on fire as an act of protest: "I used to think that guy was nuts. Now, it seems like the only logical response." C.J. calmly tells him that it wouldn't help. Steve tells her that the administration needs to take strong action. And then the show crosses the line just a bit, as C.J. asks him: "Overwhelming American military might? Followed by a decade of nation-building in a part of the world where many consider us infidels so that we might bring forth a new and benevolent democracy?" Steve immediately tells her, "Of course not. I mean, come on, C.J. When did it become naïve to try to put an end to genocide?" They talk over each other, with her telling him that they are monitoring the situation and him telling her that he needs the "government to assert what is left of its moral authority." At that point, she walks to the door to show him out. He tells her, "I want five minutes with the President." She responds, "This was your five minutes with the President." Steve leaves, and Margaret tells C.J. that the German Ambassador is waiting for her. C.J. tells Margaret that Doug Westin is in town, and C.J. wants to see him tonight: "Alone." Hmmm, maybe C.J.'s curious about what makes him so attractive to the nannies.
C.J. is walking through the Roosevelt Room when she is ambushed by Josh and his little backpack. He tells her, "I smell bacon." He keeps hitting the pork theme while she keeps putting him off. He's clearly fishing for news about the research lab, and she tells him that she doesn't have any for him. He follows her into her office and tells her that he knows, based on pretty firm evidence, that the lab is being awarded to Austin, so he doesn't understand why she insists no decision has been made. He accuses her of joking around with him, and she repeats that no decision has been made. He tells her, "You have bad information." C.J.: "I feel pretty confident about my information, since I actually work here and you actually don't." Josh doesn't quit, insisting that Jed needs to fly to Austin and announce the lab with Santos. C.J. tells him, firmly, "It's not gonna happen." He keeps making his pitch as she closes the door on him.
And now she's meeting with the German Ambassador in the Mural Room. It's pretty much the same conversation as with the French Ambassador, except the German seems a little more amenable to playing footsie. Politically, I mean. At one point he tells her, "You already made the same request of the French." She responds with silence, and he goes on, "We talk often. We have a union now." Heh. Once C.J. allows as how a couple of current German projects building infrastructure in Khartoum could be grandfathered under any sanctions resolution, he agrees to propose the resolution. As they rise to end the meeting, he tells her, "You're very persuasive." He asks her how she'll deal with the expected Chinese veto, and she answers, "You just said it yourself, Franz. I can be very persuasive." It's true. She's already persuaded me to switch to Kaiser Permanente. Speaking of which, commercials.
On the television in Margaret's office, we can hear Santos speaking about technology spending. Just as C.J. walks into the office, Santos drops the bomb that he's pretty sure that in the few days there will be an announcement about the Molecular Transport Lab that will be good news for the city of Austin. C.J.: "Son of a bitch!" Margaret nods her head in agreement. C.J. tells her to get Josh on the phone immediately.
C.J. takes about two seconds to walk to her desk and calls out to Margaret, "You got him?" Margaret, instead of telling her to hold her damn horses so the phone can be dialed, tells C.J. that Josh is on line two. C.J. picks up the phone and actually sounds pretty calm as she says, "Hello." Josh asks her what's up, and she rips into him: "I hate it when I make myself clear…and I'm not received." He knows exactly what she's talking about, telling her that the location of the lab is already set and he needs the announcement now to help Santos. He claims, disingenuously, that Santos didn't announce the lab. No, he just hinted that he had inside information that an announcement was coming. Josh confesses that he understands that the Kentucky Senate seat is an issue, but also calls the Senator a "pious old pork hog who votes like a schizophrenic." She lets him go on for a second and then asks him, "You done?" He gives her permission to go ahead, and she tells him that a breathing Democrat in the Senate is worth a hell of a lot. Margaret has crept in to tell C.J. that Doug Westin is waiting for her. C.J. tells Josh that her job is to protect the Bartlet legacy even if Santos doesn't win the White House, which means trying to keep enough Democrats in the Senate to do some good. She tells him that the announcement about the lab is off the table until after the election. Before she can hang up, he suggests that Jed come to Austin to announce the lab and then Santos and Jed together fly to Kentucky to campaign for the Senator. Which I guess sounds like a compromise, but I'm really not sure how much help a couple of liberal Democrats are going to be in Kentucky. C.J. tells Josh, "I have to go now," and hangs up on him.
C.J. takes a moment to compose herself and then opens the door to admit Doug. He's all smarm and snake oil. As he enters, he asks, "You know the first thing I'm gonna do when they declare me the winner?" Oh, tell us, please do. Doug: "I'm gonna ask for a recount." And then he laughs too hard at his own joke. He tells her how "jazzed" he is that Jed is coming to campaign with him. I'm sorry, what year is it? He blathers on about how he's confident he'll win, but that he'll campaign as though he's going to lose. C.J. just stares at Doug and doesn't say anything. He takes the silent treatment about as well as Will does, jumping to the immediate conclusion that she's going to tell him that Jed has to cancel their joint appearance. C.J. launches into her spiel, telling Doug that she really doesn't care what he does with his private life, but that once those private activities start to affect the President, she cares a lot. Eventually, she hits the promo-friendly line, "If you have a problem with your zipper, get it out of my face." I mean, it would be promo-friendly if NBC actually ran any promos for this show. By the way, that line by itself dropped my grade for this episode by half a point. Doug allows as how he understands what C.J. is talking about. Margaret pops her head in to tell C.J. that the Chinese Ambassador is waiting in the Mural Room. Margaret leaves, and C.J. tells Doug that he needs to go to the political affairs office and tell them that he no longer wants Jed to campaign with him. Without waiting for him to agree, she tells him, "That'd be great." And she walks out of the room.
C.J. meets with the Chinese Ambassador in the Mural Room. He's a little ticked off that Germany seems to be trying to cut off Chinese oil supplies, especially in light of the fact that China and Russia are on the brink of war. He accuses the Europeans of "always pretending to have a significance they no longer possess." She lets him know that the U.S. is willing to raise no objection to the resumption of French and German arms sales to China. He seems intrigued, but points out that the weapons wouldn't really make up for the loss of Sudanese oil. She suggests that the U.S. will take steps to ensure that China has access to the Kazakh oil. He considers this, and tells her, "I will disappear into my massive bureaucracy and see what I can do." They stand to end the meeting, and he chuckles and then starts to lecture her about how the U.S. is hypocritical for promoting free markets and then trying to stop China from buying oil from a genocidal regime. What she doesn't tell him is that only the most extreme whackjobs have ever considered a totally unfettered market to be a good thing, and that all legitimate political and economic leaders in the U.S. believe that markets need to be regulated to some extent to promote the common welfare. In fact, she doesn't say much of anything. He tells her, "Your American dream is financial, not ethical." He starts to walk to the door, and she nervously says, "This is a good deal for the Chinese. I hope you will consider it carefully." They say goodbye in Chinese, and he leaves.
As C.J. leaves the Mural Room, Margaret approaches her holding a spoon and a small plastic container. Margaret: "The President needs you in the Oval, and I have a yogurt here." C.J.'s a bit confused by the dairy product, and Margaret tells her that it's for her to eat. C.J. takes a pass on the yogurt and asks Margaret, "He's in there?" Well, that is where he works. C.J. heads towards the Oval, and Margaret warns her that Jed is grumpy.
Office of O. Jed is sitting at his desk, reviewing what look like satellite photos of Kazakhstan. C.J. enters, and after just a bit of friendly small talk, he asks her, "What the hell's going on with the Sudan thing?" She tells him that she's working on the U.N. resolution, and they have a quick repeat of the earlier ambassadorial conversations (in which Jed insists that the Chinese will veto the resolution). He gets a bit testy, asking her, "Why on earth would we want to antagonize the Chinese right now?" C.J. thinks the Chinese won't be mad at the U.S. because the resolution is being proposed by the Germans, but Jed thinks they'll probably figure it out. C.J. tells him, "We're out of time. We've all been hypnotized by the complexity of this thing in the Sudan. The E.U., the U.N., State. This isn't a solution, but it's a start." Jed tells her that he doesn't want to compromise U.S. neutrality in the Kazakhstan situation. C.J. tells him that she's arranged it so that it looks as though Europe is acting high and mighty while the U.S. steps in and brokers a deal: "China would owe us." Jed sighs, thinks for a minute, and asks, "It this about the Sudan, or the fact that we're all about to get kicked out of this building?" She pauses, and then tells him, "When the babies die, the mothers carry them around for days. They can't put them down." She certainly picked the right line to crib. Another pause, and then Jed tells her to keep working on the resolution. And then, as C.J. starts to walk away, Jed asks why Santos is trying to preempt the announcement of the Molecular Transport Lab. Jed tells C.J. he received an irate call from the Senator from Kentucky: "At least I think he was irate. He didn't have his teeth in, so I'm not sure what the hell he was talking about." Heh. C.J. tells him that the Santos campaign thinks the announcement of the lab will help them win Texas, and then she suggests Josh's compromise proposal from earlier. Jed wonders when the hell he would have time for the announcement and the campaigning in Kentucky, and she lets him know that the day he had scheduled to campaign with Doug has opened up. Jed wonders why Doug withdrew his request, and C.J. (a much better liar than anyone else on this show) tells him, "I think he wants to prove he's his own man." Jed seems a little incredulous that Doug would change his mind, and predicts that Liz will be very upset. He asks C.J. if there's anything else he needs to know. She hesitates, and then tells him there's nothing. Jed leaves for the residence. Commercials.
Kate and C.J. pedeconference somewhere in the bowels of the White House. Kate's wondering when they'll hear whether the Chinese are willing to go along with the sanctions on the Sudan. C.J. thinks they'll learn something within a couple of days. Kate's about to walk away when C.J. pulls her aside. Although they're not really in a private spot, C.J. at least pretends she's not on television by furtively looking around to make sure there aren't people within ten feet of them. Of course, the Foley people kind of ruin the effect, because we can hear footsteps all around C.J. and Kate as they speak throughout the rest of the scene. C.J. tells Kate, "I need to tell you something." Kate looks concerned -- or maybe aroused. It's hard to tell with her. C.J. does her best Helen Lovejoy, telling Kate, "Doug Westin had an affair with his nanny." Kate does her best Elaine Benes, responding, "Get. Out." It's not a very good Elaine Benes, however, because she doesn't give C.J. a mighty shove. Kate, maybe looking for a little nanny action herself, asks, "Is she cute?" C.J. wonders why that matters. Kate tells her that her career in the military has given her a deep understanding of the male psyche, and that if the nanny's hot, even the most virtuous man would go for it. C.J. tells Kate that the nanny is 26. Kate decides that means she doesn't need to be cute. They both agree that Doug should die. Kate even offers to arrange to make that happen. But the real reason C.J. is sharing this info with Kate is that she wants advice as to whether she should tell Jed. (Although Kate at first thinks that C.J. wants to know if she should tell Liz. Kate's answer is no: "Now's just the time that everyone looks at her funny until she figures it out." Sisterhood is powerful.) Before Kate can answer C.J.'s question about whether to tell Jed, Margaret appears to tell C.J. that Liz is in her office and wants to speak with her. Kate demonstrates some more of that solidarity when she smiles, tells C.J., "Good luck," and walks away.
C.J. slowly approaches her office, takes a breath, and then gives a very animated and friendly greeting to Liz as she enters the office, closing the door behind her. They make some awkward small talk, and then Liz asks if C.J. has seen Doug. C.J. absentmindedly remarks that she heard Doug was around the day. Liz tells C.J. that Doug went to the political affairs office to cancel the joint appearance with the President. Liz asks C.J., "Do you have any idea how long it took me to convince him to let my father help?" C.J. recycles the line about how important it was for Doug to appear to be his own man. Liz thinks Doug can't hide from the fact that Jed is his father-in-law, so he might as well get what advantage he can from it. C.J. points out, "It must be hard to live up to the President." Especially if you're a moron like Doug Westin. Liz thinks nobody can live up to Jed, but tells C.J., "But he is the father of my children, and I want them to be able to look up to him." There's an awkward pause, and Liz continues, "No matter what he's done." Wouldn't it be nice if they could also look up to their mother? Which I'm thinking might be a touch difficult when they realize that she gave up her own ambitions to satisfy her husband's ego and allowed him to walk all over their marriage vows. Liz asks C.J. if she understands what she's saying. C.J. does. Liz asks C.J. to convince Doug to agree to campaign with Jed. C.J. tells Liz, "I know you're trying to do what's best for Doug." Liz interrupts, telling C.J., "It's the best thing for my children." C.J. tells Liz that they've already given the date away, so Jed won't be able to campaign with Doug. Liz considers this, and asks, "So, on his own merits, we let the voters decide?" Ain't democracy grand?
Josh and Will are in the Roosevelt Room going over the Santos campaign's needs for officials to work the stump. C.J. enters behind them and tells Josh that she's cleared the President's schedule to make the announcement in Austin and then campaign in Kentucky for the Senator: "Would Congressman Santos like to join him?" Josh, insufferable in victory, tells her, "I'll have to get back to you on that." C.J. smiles at him and tells him, "Go to hell."
In her office, C.J. watches Steve talk in a television interview about how embarrassed he is that the U.S. is letting other nations take the lead in helping resolve the problem in Darfur. He calls it "the key moral question of our time." I'm not sure I disagree. Kate enters C.J.'s office to let her know that negotiations are taking place in the U.N. Security Council over a sanctions resolution, and so far the Chinese are not objecting. Kate, who must be trying to work her way through all of the senior staff, asks C.J. if she wants to get some food. C.J. tells her, "I can't. I have a date." Kate: "You do not." C.J. tells her that it is indeed the truth. Kate offers to walk out with her, but C.J tells her to go ahead: "I need to talk to the President." She thinks the story about Doug is about to break and she doesn't want Jed to be surprised. Margaret enters to tell C.J. that Jed is ready for her. Kate leaves. C.J. takes a deep breath, stands up, and very slowly walks to her private door to the Office of O. She knocks, and we hear the beginning of her line from the scene before the camera cuts away.
C.J.: "Men are like salmon. Swimming upstream and hosing down the riverbed with their indiscriminate seed." She's with Danny at the restaurant from the opening scene. The restaurant is much more crowded than it was. C.J. continues her simile, claiming that men who are like salmon go on seeding the world "until they die, bloated and spent, belly up in the sun." Danny: "Quit sweet-talkin' me, baby." Danny thinks C.J. is "struggling with trust issues." She responds, "I'm struggling with reality." They have the same waitress from the opening scene, and she approaches them and asks C.J., "What's your dessert policy?" My policy is that dessert should be free and plentiful. C.J. doesn't know what she's talking about, and the waitress asks, "You want me to spare you the monologue?" C.J. tells her she'd really love that. Waitress: "I figured. I'll get you some more water. Oh gee, I'm sorry, I'll shut up and leave now." That shit just did not make sense to me. C.J.'s behavior in the opening scene was unusual, but she was also smiling and polite. It makes no sense that this waitress would develop such a hate for her. C.J. apologizes to Danny for being so uptight at their last date. He tries to deflect the apology, but she continues: "I wanted to see you. And I haven't felt that in a long time and I got all awkward and antagonistic." He tells her it's fine, "so long as you didn't kill our fish." And then, sweet-talker that she is, she tells him, "But don't get me wrong. I don't want to see you again until after the inauguration." She wants to be able to focus on the job, and he thinks that's a great thing, so long as she gets some good things done. He asks, "Are you still creeped out by reporters?" She asks if he's about to drop another piece of news on her, and he tells her that he really was trying to have a date with her the last time, and wants to have a real date with her this time. Of the Doug story, he tells her, "I can't write that kind of crap anymore. I don't even know if I want to be a reporter anymore." He tells her, "Doug Westin's libido broke the camel's back." So his "libido" is the size of a straw, then? I might have known. She asks what he wants to do, and he doesn't know. He asks her why she came that night. She tells him, "Because you made me promise to." He asks her again, "Why'd you come." C.J.: "I wanted to see you." Swoon.
Danny pushes both of their now-empty plates to the side. She asks him if he's going to do a magic trick. He tells her that he has no idea if what he's about to say will come out right, and she reassures him that she'll forgive any mistakes he makes. He tells her, "Incrementalism is not an option. I'm forced into a heroic posture." She reassures him again that things will be fine. Nervously, he starts what sounds like a pre-planned speech: "We're both about to fall off a cliff. And I don't know what I'm going to do with the rest of my life, except I know what I don't want to do. And on Inauguration Day, you're going to be released from that glorious prison on Pennsylvania Avenue with…" C.J.: "No human skills?" He thinks that sounds right. He continues, "So, if I'm gonna jump off the cliff, and you're gonna get pushed off the cliff, why don't we hold hands on the way down?" Thud. Oh, sorry, I just swooned again. There's a long pause, and suddenly C.J.'s beeper goes off. Danny, frantic, tells her, "Oh, turn it off." She can't, of course, and when she looks at it, she solemnly says, "Oh my God." She has to go, and immediately stands up and starts heading for the door. He tells her to go, and after she's gone, he looks at her empty chair and says, "I'll see you later." He quietly repeats himself, seeming near tears.
C.J. walks into the West Wing. There are a lot of generals and other important-looking people standing around. C.J. finds Kate and asks what's going on. Kate tells her, "Some kind of nuclear accident." It happened at a power plant. C.J. asks if it's a plant in Russia, and Kate responds, "San Andreo, California. They think it might blow up." Credits.