By LTG
Everything this week feels incredibly hectic and stressful, even though nothing important happens. But the things that do happen are all pretty interesting. It's just a few days before the election, and here's what happens (in no particular order): Toby gets offer from the U.S. Attorney who's prosecuting him, but it comes with a threat:either Toby gives up the name of his source for the top-secret shuttle info, or the prosecutor will indict him for obstruction of justice -- a step that everyone is convinced will throw the presidential election into chaos. Toby mulls it over, spends some time with his lovely children, and finishes the day by calling the prosecutor's bluff. It's not clear whether the prosecutor is convinced not to indict; presumably, we'll find out in some future episode. On the campaign trail, things are all a bit crazy -- there's virtually no scene in which five or more people aren't speaking simultaneously. Santos drinks a lot of coffee and gets no sleep, turning him into quite the Mr. Crankypants. Jon Bon Jovi hangs around a lot, and Lou and Otto both spend time making googoo eyes at him. Helen makes what everybody thinks is a small gaffe, apparently arguing that all convicted felons should be able to vote. Josh spends a lot of time on hold, trying to speak to Vice-President Russell. Nancy McNally apparently hangs around the campaign bus, although we never actually see her. Santos and Helen take their kids on a trick-or-treating photo op, where Santos Junior throws up. Annabeth sings. And Josh steps up and gives Santos the talking-to that he needs to calm him down and stiffen his spine. week, it's Election Day. I kind of can't wait.
Previously, the presidential campaign tightened up to a dead heat; Toby and his ex-wife Andi had a couple of kids; Toby was fired and indicted after leaking classified information about the military space shuttle.
It's 3:00 AM. The Santos motorcade drives onto the tarmac at the St. Louis airport. Almost immediately, there's some singing in the background, which gave me hope that the entire episode might consist of a single musical montage. The song is "For Once in My Life," but it's not being performed by Stevie Wonder. The motorcade stops, and everyone climbs out of the vehicles, and it's immediately apparent that we're not hearing the soundtrack -- it's just Annabeth singing. I'm really glad that they found a non-cheesy way to get Kristin Chenoweth to sing on the show, although after hearing her, I'm kind of wishing for an episode featuring a campaign talent show, just so we could hear her sing an entire song. Everyone is very cheerful as they walk to the plane, talking about the 30,000-person rally that they just attended (at which Mr. Wonder was the main attraction). Annabeth continues singing, and Donna tries to get her to calm down. Helen busts Donna for trying to harsh Annabeth's buzz, and Donna quietly tells Helen, "I think she's singing about Leo." Helen clearly wants more dish, but she finds herself having to remind Santos that they are leaving St. Louis, not Chicago. Santos decides that they should try to get some of the famous fresh frozen custard that he's heard so much about. (Fresh frozen custard is a version of ice cream that's heavy on the eggs and is apparently popular throughout the Midwest and especially in Missouri). Santos and Helen make eyes at each other, and it falls to Donna to point out that they have to be in Scranton for an early rally, so heading out for creamy frozen treats is not an option. They should get an ice cream truck to join the motorcade. The repetitive sound of the music would fit in with the constant sirens. Helen asks Donna, "Is sleep an option?" Santos tells Helen that "sleep is for the weak!" Helen reminds him that he's gotten approximately six hours of sleep in the last three days. As they all head up the stairs to the plane, Donna reassures Helen that Santos will be able to sleep as soon as they go over the five-day schedule.
Cut to a shot of a whiteboard with a map of the U.S. and a bunch of green, blue, and red arrows shooting around between Pennsylvania, Ohio, Florida, Texas, and California. I wonder if this is how the Amazing Yellow Line got its start? Lou and Josh are looking over the map. Lou's not thrilled at the idea of trying to hit "four states and six markets a day," but Josh seems to be looking forward to it. Lou calls him a masochist, and then Donna pipes up, "This is news?" Josh did date Mandy and Amy -- the man clearly likes pain. Josh asks how the rally went, and Helen tells him that Santos performed almost as well as Stevie Wonder. This leads Donna to wonder where Annabeth has gotten herself, and Lou tells them, "I gagged her and threw her in a luggage compartment." Well, Annabeth is small enough to be a carry-on. Josh gives them Annabeth's real location: "She's checking in with Leo." Helen, very quietly: "Apparently." Josh asks what Helen means, and she tells him it's nothing. But this leads Lou to ask Helen and Donna, "Really?" Again, Josh asks what's going on, and Lou tells him, "Nothing." Donna tells Josh he doesn't want to know, and then Santos enters and asks what they don't want to know. Helen changes the subject and suggests that they go over the five-day schedule.
Lou explains a grid that tells them who will be in which major state on which of the five days. There are campaign appearances scheduled by Santos, Leo, and President Bartlet, all color-coded. Helen looks at the schedule and asks whether it's true that tomorrow (which is presumably later that same day, it being 3:00 AM), they are in "Scranton, Bethlehem, Philadelphia, Cincinnati, Dayton, and Houston?" Helen wonders why they need to go to Houston. In response, Josh says that it will help pump up turnout, and notes that they're campaigning the day after that in Texas, so it makes sense to start that evening. Annabeth enters and tells them that Leo thinks that they need to add a stop in Florida, since they're polling slightly behind Vinick there and they don't have an appearance scheduled until Saturday. Josh asks Santos what he thinks, and has to repeat his name a couple of times because Santos has drifted off. Santos wakes up and tells them that he could use some coffee, but Helen nixes that idea. Santos starts to give the go-ahead to add a Florida stop, and then Helen volunteers to cover it. Annabeth points out that Zoey Bartlet is appearing at "some women's events" near Miami, so Helen could join her there. Really? Zoey? I really don't see her campaigning that much. Since she's not going to actually appear, couldn't they have dropped Abbey's name in there? The plan is to get Helen to Florida and then back to Dayton for a trick-or-treating photo op with the kids. Josh and Lou run down the five-day schedule, which involves a lot of campaigning over the two days (Thursday and Friday), with events planned in each of the five battleground states on each of the last three days of the campaign. This will involve making appearances in Florida, Pennsylvania, Ohio, Texas, and California each day, and then doing it all over again the day. Josh asks Santos for approval of this insane schedule. Santos thinks for a second and then tells Josh, "Well, you can hang by your thumbs for five days." I don't want to meet the people who tested that theory. Josh tells them to get ready for "the last five days of the Santos campaign." Credits. (Oddly enough, Richard Schiff neither appears in the opening credits nor is he given a credit in the list of guest stars that plays under the post-credits scene).
From here on in, almost every campaign scene is insane. There are always at least three people carrying on at least three different conversations, all on top of each other. Also, the camera doesn't necessarily focus in on the person carrying on the most meaningful conversation. It was fun to watch (I think), but it's no fun at all to recap. In a hangar (or factory, or warehouse -- I think it may be just an undressed soundstage), Santos is being grilled by a cluster of reporters. Josh is walking nearby, talking on his cell phone. He's talking to Toby, who suggests that Josh start doing the daily crossword puzzle, because studies have shown that "people who regularly do the crossword are less likely to experience mental decline." Basically, Toby is telling Josh to pay attention to the Miami-Dade voter registration numbers all while a bunch of people clamor for Josh's attention and Josh himself tries to play down Toby's concerns. Josh tells Toby, "You're a killjoy, you know that? You're a doorstep darkener. You darken doorsteps." Toby keeps hammering on the Miami-Dade numbers until Josh gives in and tells him he'll take a look. More quietly, Josh asks, "You, uh, you got another meeting today?" After a pause, Toby confirms that he does. Josh: "Let's make a deal?" Toby: "Or not." Josh tells Toby to let him know how it goes, and then ends the call. Donna (standing right behind Santos) tells the reporters that he'll take one more question. The last question is about which team Santos likes in "the game" this weekend. Santos tells them that Philly and New York are both strong teams, and that he looks forward to the game.
Donna and Santos walk onto a crowded campaign bus, and Santos quietly asks if he's right in thinking that they're in Pennsylvania. Donna tells him that he got it right, and then introduces him to the Pennsylvania Democratic Party chair. Josh approaches and starts running down a list of some of the meetings Santos has scheduled, including one with Nancy McNally (whom Josh refers to as the former NSA Director) to discuss the situation in Kazakhstan. Notably, Santos is drinking more coffee. They're interrupted by "Jon," who turns out to be Jon Bon Jovi, playing himself. He will apparently be appearing at a number of Santos campaign events that day.
Red Square. Oh, my mistake, it's actually the plaza in front of some U.S. government building in D.C. For some reason, every flagpole in the park across the street is flying a red flag. A subtitle usefully tells us that we're looking at the U.S. Attorney's office for the District of Columbia. Inside, Toby's sitting alone at a conference table when a flunky brings in a tray with some glasses and a pitcher of ice water. And then Toby is joined by his attorney, Alana Waterman. She greets him and then tells Toby that they really need to prep for the meeting. Toby's still working on his crossword and he asks Alana, "What's a five-letter word for 'blowhard'?" Alana says Toby's name, sharply, and he responds, "That's four letters, counselor." She tells him again that they need to prep, and he just says, "Yes, yes, no, and I already knew." Alana asks him what he's talking about, and Toby tells her those are the answers to the four questions the U.S. Attorney will ask, and that they're the same answers Toby has given at every one of these meetings. Alana starts to give Toby a lecture, but she's interrupted when someone enters the room.
Back on the campaign bus, everyone is talking at once while a young African-American man sits quietly and waits to speak to Santos. I never quite hear his name -- it's either Eddy or Teddy. I'll go with Teddy, just to avoid any confusion with Edie. Santos sits down to meet with him. Everyone makes a symbolic effort to shut up, but it lasts for about two seconds. There's no way to sequentially describe what happens in this scene, but here are the key points. First, Lou starts panting when she hears that Bon Jovi is around. Second, Lou notices that a new Vinick campaign ad is using a slogan that was used in some Santos ads two months earlier. Third, Teddy is there to discuss the election day turnout plans. Fourth, Donna arrives with new polling data. Fifth, Otto runs onto the bus holding a stack of documents. He trips, sending papers flying everywhere. Sixth, Josh wants to make sure Santos and Teddy discuss Latino turnout -- apparently, voter registration in Miami-Dade County (a majority Latino county) is only up 2% since the last presidential election, leading to concerns that Latino voters have not been registering in greater than normal numbers out of excitement for the Santos candidacy. Seventh, the Florida voter authorities have put together a list of ineligible ex-convict voters, which includes many Latino names and also includes the names of many ex-convicts who, by law, are entitled to vote. Eighth, Teddy thinks that if they raise the idea that the Republican Governor of Florida is trying to stack the list so as to keep Latinos from voting, it will make other Latino voters more eager to vote on election day. Ninth, Josh suggests that, rather than Santos raising such an idea, they have Helen do it while she's appearing in Miami. Tenth, Santos has to end the discussion to take some call with a newspaper. Eleventh, I have a headache.
Back in the conference room, Toby, Alana, and one or two other people are sitting in the room, not speaking, when the U.S. Attorney enters. He's tall, blond, generically handsome. I definitely recognize him as a refugee from some failed NBC sitcom. There may have been a girl and a pizza place involved, or maybe a southern, not at all gay comedian forced to live in Boston, or maybe Mark Feuerstein. You know the kind of show I'm talking about. Toby's still working on his crossword puzzle, and he asks again for a five-letter word for "blowhard." I think it might be "whale." The U.S. Attorney has called Toby there to repeat the deal he's offered in the past -- namely, if Toby gives up the name of the person who told him about the shuttle, he will be allowed to plead guilty and receive a one-year sentence. Toby repeats his response to this offer, which is "no," and that the U.S. Attorney tells him that he's adding "a sweetener" to the deal. Unless Toby gives up the name of his source by the day, the U.S. Attorney will go to a grand jury and indict Toby for obstruction of justice. In so doing, it will cause subpoenas to be served on C.J., Leo, and President Bartlet. That doesn't sound very sweet to me. Toby and Alana both immediately conclude that this would throw the election to Vinick. Toby asks, "You're gonna sabotage a national election over this?" U.S. Attorney: "No, you are." The U.S. Attorney gets up to leave, and then he tells Toby, "Oh, by the way, it's 'storm.' Five letters for 'blowhard'? 'Storm.'" I would still go with "whale." Commercials.
It's noon, and the Santos campaign is in Bethlehem, Pennsylvania. Santos is taking questions, Donna's speaking to someone on the phone, and Lou is yelling at someone else on the phone (trying to pitch a reporter on the story about the Vinick campaign recycling a Santos slogan). Lou and Donna finish their calls at about the same time. Lou is taken aback, because the reporter she was speaking with hung up on her. Donna asks whether it was A.P., and Lou tells her it was Reuters. Donna: "Snotty." Lou: "A little bit." Donna's phone call was with Stu, from The Tonight Show. Santos is supposed to appear, and the show's writers are floating a sketch that would involve him dressing as Robin Hood (complete with tights). Lou asks, "Have you seen Jon?" Donna: "Jon?" Lou: "Bon Jovi." Lou floats a cover story about Santos wanting to thank Bon Jovi for helping to get 60,000 people to show up at the rally. But she's clearly just asking on her own behalf. Lou walks away, but not without making a call to another reporter to pitch the slogan story.
At the side of the bus, Donna arrives to tell the reporters that they can ask one more question. It is, again, about the game, and Santos gives the same answer about Philly and New York both being great teams. Donna leads him onto the bus and introduces him to a Congresswoman who is there. Santos shakes hands with Donald Anspaugh, former Democratic Party Chairman who was last seen trying to get Josh fired by Santos. Santos moves to his personal room at the back of the bus, where Josh is talking to Helen on a phone. Josh hands the phone to Santos as he enters, telling him, "She's pretty riled up." Helen asks Santos exactly why they're sending her to speak at the National Organization of Latinas. Helen thinks that her status as a very, very white woman who "lured a big, gorgeous Latino man" away from all the Latina women who wanted him will not make her very popular. Santos tells Helen she doesn't have to go if she doesn't want to. Helen tells Santos that she doesn't mind going, but that she won't give a speech: "I'll do the intro, let Hinojosa talk about the ex-convict list." While she's speaking, Santos is going over polling numbers with Josh. Apparently, Zogby has them down by four points in Colorado, which is not good news. Helen tells Santos that her mother will be flying the kids up at 4:00, and that they shouldn't be given too much Halloween candy before Helen returns.
Santos gives Josh the news about Helen's speech, and then asks what's going on in Colorado. It turns out that what's going on is that Republican V.P. candidate Sullivan has been spending a lot of time campaigning there. Donna enters, and they discuss who they can send to campaign in Colorado. The only name they can think of is Bingo Bob Russell, the Colorado Kid. Otto leaves to call Russell, and Santos asks whether he should first meet with Anspaugh or with the CIA briefer. Josh tells Santos that, before either of those, he has to get on "the chat." It turns out that Atrios from Eschaton is there. Santos doesn't understand these words, and Josh explains that it's a blog that has raised $300,000 online for the campaign and has almost as many readers as the Philadelphia Inquirer. Someone who is not the actual Atrios enters, and I have to ask, why name-check a real person if you're not going to have him play himself? Maybe it's because the real Atrios doesn't look nearly as geeky as the bespectacled little nerd they found to play him. Everyone knows all us internet types are skinny little geeks with thick glasses.
Back at the U.S. Attorney's conference room, Toby and Alana are, you know, conferring. Alana thinks that the draft indictment is more than enough to convince a grand jury, but Toby thinks that there's no way the prosecutor will actually go ahead with the indictment and screw up the election. Toby accuses the prosecutor of being partisan, and Alana points out that he was appointed by Bartlet. Alana thinks he's just a zealous prosecutor using every tool he has to get at the truth. Toby still thinks he's bluffing. Toby's about to go off on a rant when Alana interrupts him with a deep sigh. Toby asks Alana what she's sighing about. She tells him that if he's trying to protect his brother, he needs to give it up or risk destroying Santos and Leo's chance of winning the election. Toby still thinks the prosecutor is bluffing. Alana: "Are you really prepared to take that chance?"
It's 12:30 PM, and the Santos motorcade is driving on a road outside Quakertown, Pennsylvania. They just passed through Methodistville and Baptistburg, and Lutheranopolis is coming up. On the bus, Lou is on the phone talking to someone about some poll numbers and asking to speak to Edie when Jon Bon Jovi walks up to her and asks, "Is that the latest polling?" Lou immediately hangs up the phone and tells him it is. Jon asks her how it's looking, and she gets all flirty as she tells him things are looking good. Otto tells her that he has Edie on the phone, and Lou snaps at him that she'll call Edie back. Bon Jovi tells her that the polling for Illinois looks cool, and she tells him, "Yeah, it is. And you know what else is cool is your new album." Lou tells him that his album is fantastic, and that the work he's been doing with Habitat for Humanity is fantastic as well.
While this sad, sad example of flirting is going on, Donna, Otto, and Josh are all talking on their phones. Otto tells Josh that "Bob" is on the phone, and Josh tells Otto that he'll call Bob back. Josh interrupts Lou and Jon, and Bon Jovi excuses himself to make a call. Josh asks Lou, "Living on a prayer?" Heh. Lou snaps at him, asking if he's not supposed to be on the phone, and he tells her he's holding for Bingo Bob. They start discussing some poll reported on Drudge (and I refuse to link to that hack), and Josh dismisses the poll as biased until he hears that it had Santos up by four points in Ohio. Josh shouts out, "'Ohio trends Santos!' That's the story of the day." Otto asks Lou if she's still pushing the slogan story, and she tells him it's dead. And then Otto tells her that the buses for Vinick's "Yes, America Can" tour were made in Canada. Lou tells Otto, "You're a very attractive young man," which I can agree with. Lou tells the reporter she's calling that she has two stories to pitch to him. Josh is told that Russell will have to call him back. Simultaneously, there's a story on the television about Sullivan campaigning in Colorado. While all the calls continue, we see a snippet of an interview with Helen on the television. In response to a question about whether the disenfranchisement of convicted felons should be abolished, Helen responds, "It's the largest bloc of disenfranchised voters in the country. Yeah, I think it's something we should take a look at." All the staffers on the bus immediately ends their calls.
Toby sits in the front seat of his car and dials his cell phone. He's calling Andi, who is just handing her briefcase to an aide. Andi asks whether he's still coming over that night, and he wonders if he might not come over now to help the kids get their costumes ready. Andi points out that the kids are at pre-school until 2:00. Then she looks out the window and notices that Toby's parked on the street in front of her house. He rolls his window down, and waves to her and asks if he can come in. Andi tells Toby that she has campaign events she needs to get to. He offers to tag along, and then realizes that she probably shouldn't be campaigning with a suspected felon in tow. Andi tells him to stick to the original schedule and come over at 5:00.
It's 12:45 PM. The Santos bus pulls up in Rittenhouse Square in Philadelphia. And I immediately start thinking of Gentlemen Prefer Blondes -- not the movie, but the stage show, in which Lorelei Lee's best friend Dorothy sings that one of her fondest desires is a house on Rittenhouse Square. I like to think that if Dorothy had gotten that house, she would be out ogling all the fine specimens of manhood connected to this campaign. In the back of the bus, Santos is still doing his Eschaton chat. He's dictating answers to Atrios, and when he feels that Atrios is taking too long to type them out, he taps the top of his laptop screen with a piece of licorice and tells him, "Let's go, let's go! I'm happy to type those answers myself." "Santos is really punchy," I think, is the message we're supposed to get from this. Josh arrives to pull Santos to the front of the bus. Santos tries to pour some more coffee, but the decanter is empty. He notices the television coverage of Sullivan in Colorado, and Lou points out that Russell should be able to neutralize him. And I've had enough trouble keeping Russell and Sullivan straight -- please don't give me any scenes with the two of them. Lou and Josh tell him about the good Ohio poll numbers. They're clearly trying to work their way up to telling him about Helen's comments on ex-cons voting. Santos isn't so far gone that he doesn't pick up on the awkwardness, and he asks them what's going on. They tell him about Helen's comments, and he responds, "That's not going to play so well with the law-and-order moderates in the West." Donna enters to bram Santos away to a rally, and he asks her for the schedule of events after the rally. Donna lists off a bunch of things, but then Santos points out that she forgot the CIA briefer. And Lou reminds them all that they're supposed to be in Cincinnati for a 3:00 rally. Lou wonders if they should bump McNally. I'm sorry, but you don't bump Nancy McNally. If you're lucky, she doesn't bump you. If you're really lucky, she doesn't have you bumped off. Santos tells them to see if McNally and Anspaugh can come to Ohio with them.
Santos emerges from the bus. We can hear the cheers of the crowd in the background. Some Congressman who is waiting for a picture with Santos calls him "Mr. President" and brags about having had his picture taken with "three other Commander-in-Chiefs." Santos corrects him, pointing out that it's "Commanders-in-Chief." Santos doesn't make him turn around three times and spit, but he does caution him about putting the cart before the horse. The Congressman tells him he's confident Santos is going to win. Commercials.
It's the Santos campaign jet. We see a television on which there's live coverage of reporters shouting questions at Santos in front of a screaming crowd. The camera follows a smiling extra as she walks through the cabin. She's way too smiley and calm -- are they dosing the campaign staff with lithium? And if they are, why don't they give some to the regulars? In any case, the camera follows Ms. Plath and then focuses on Donna, Santos, and the rest of the entourage as they enter the plane. Santos asks about his meeting with the CIA briefer, and Josh notes that they lost him at the rally. Donna ably steps up to the pitch, responding, "Probably not a field operative." I've always thought that, of all of characters on this show, Donna would make the best recapper. Donna smoothly pulls Santos into a photo op with another Congresswoman. Santos poses while still asking Josh to make sure there is a CIA briefer in Ohio to discuss Kazakhstan. Then there's some business with Otto about the foreign policy section of the stump speech, the failure of Russell to return Josh's call, and a call from Leno. And this time, the call is actually from Jay Leno, which Donna only realizes after she starts speaking to him. Lou starts talking about Michigan poll numbers. All of these conversations go on at once, and Santos looks around and mutters, "Getting a little existential in here." The end result of some of these conversations is that Josh doesn't get through to Bingo Bob, Jay Leno still wants Santos to wear tights on his show, and Santos wants to rewrite a portion of the stump speech about Israel, and asks Otto to set up a call with someone named Waller. And then everyone focuses on one conversation for a moment, telling Santos about the story they're pitching on Vinick's Canadian buses. Santos thinks for a moment, and asks them, "Anyone check where our buses are made?" Lou goes jogging off, calling for Otto, who might not be such an attractive young man to her right now.
Santos enters his private room to find Anspaugh waiting. (In the show, Anspaugh is called Goodwin, but it's too late to change now). Oh, and Teddy is also there. On a television, we can see coverage of Vinick declaring that people who've broken the law should have no right to help make the laws. Santos seems concerned, but Teddy points out that Vinick is losing what little support he might have had in the African-American community. Santos counters that he's motivating his base, so that it may not matter. Donna arrives to tell Santos that he has to pose for a photo with a Senator. Santos notes that he already had a picture taken with the Senator out on the tarmac, but Donna tells him that because the Congresswoman got a photo on the plane, the Senator wants one too. Man, I bet the Senator also wants Evian in his hotel room whenever he travels. Santos throws on his jacket while Anspaugh tells him he should make a statement about convict voting in Ohio. Santos thinks the disenfranchisement laws are rotten, but also notes that he's not "for giving the vote to every ax murderer." Santos does think, however, that non-violent ex-cons should be able to vote. And really, what does violence have to do with it? If someone has served his time, and is no longer on probation or parole, what's the justification for stripping him of any of his rights? I think there's more justification for not letting the corporate criminals ever vote again. I mean, if someone has experience embezzling a few million from a large corporation, it's probably not too big a stretch to committing election fraud. We should keep them away from the polls just as a precautionary matter. Josh tells Santos that he'll have Otto draft some language. So I guess Otto is a speechwriter. I had no idea. Santos leaves, and Josh, Anspaugh, and Teddy continue the conversation. Apparently, talking about letting ex-cons vote is not good politics, especially in the states they most need to win. Josh (who is still on hold for Russell, a phone against his ear) mentions Colorado, and Anspaugh asks him, "You try calling the Vice-President?"
House of Andi. There's a knock on the door and Andi answers, dressed as a witch. There are some Halloween decorations cast about as well. It's Toby as the door, dressed in normal clothes. Andi asks why he's not wearing a costume, and Toby tells her, "Well, I thought about coming as Julius Rosenberg." I think Ethel would be a better look for Toby. An adorable little girl dressed in a cute little Baltimore Orioles outfit comes running up, calling Toby "Daddy." Actually, it's not entirely clear that it's a little girl until Toby calls her "Molly." She's got kind of an Adam Rich pageboy thing going on with her hair. Toby picks her up, and she tells him, "I'm a baseball player." Toby thinks that she's less of a baseball player and more of an Oriole. Toby asks Andi what happened to the Yankees gear he bought the kids, and Andi lies and tells him, "She likes the little bird." The equally adorable Huck, dressed in an equally cute costume, comes running down the stairs and jumps into Toby's arms. He's also dressed as an Oriole, and Toby throws an accusatory glare at Andi. Lying some more, she tells him, "He likes what she likes." Andi fetches some cute little pumpkin totes, and Toby excitedly asks the kids whether it's time for trick-or-treating. Awkwardly, Andi asks whether Toby wants to take them first. He puts them down and tells her to go ahead. Andi's utter coldness towards Toby is explained when she mutters, "Sorry, but if there's press..." And then it makes sense -- Andi's running for reelection as well, and her association with Toby is probably a pretty bad thing for her career. Of course, it wasn't a very good thing for his career either. Andi and the kids leave to go on their pagan candy extortion trip, leaving Toby looking a little verklempt. He then sees Santos on the television, giving a statement about how non-violent ex-cons should be able to vote. So now Toby knows that if Santos gets elected, he at least might be able to vote in the future.
We cut to the aircraft hangar where Santos is giving that statement. It's 5:15, and we're in Dayton. After a couple more questions, Donna does her duty and tells the reporters to wrap it up. Again, the final question is about the weekend's game, and once again Santos give his "Philly and New York are both strong teams" answer. Unfortunately, as Donna reminds him while they're walking away, they're in Ohio now. Santos looks back and shouts, "Go, Buckeyes."
Little Girl Santos, dressed in an awful pink princess costume, is staring at Jon Bon Jovi as he plays his guitar for her. Bon Jovi finishes, and she asks him to play the song again. Little Boy Santos, dressed as a vampire, is sitting nearby and eating some ice cream. Santos and Donna enter, and Santos gives his daughter a nice hug, calling her a Fairy Queen. I thought that was his nickname for me. LB Santos says hello, and Santos chastises him for eating ice cream before dinner. Donna tells him that it's some local Ohio ice cream, and that it made for a great photo op. Really, Donna? Using children as political props? I fear she's losing her soul. Santos asks where the kids' grandmother is, and Donna tells him, "I saw her chatting with Ben Affleck." Hee.
Lou enters the bus and tells the kids that there's candy on the press van if they want to start their sugar high before trick-or-treating. Nice, Lou. Why not just pour some Pixy Stix down their throats? The kids are excited to head for the candy, but Santos doesn't want them to run off alone. So Jon Bon Jovi offers to tag along with the kids and look after them. Rock star, advocate for public service, and nanny. Is there anything that man can't do? As Bon Jovi walks past her, Lou whispers to Santos, "He's fantastic." Santos is a little less than thrilled at the idea of an "international rock star" watching his kids. Lou, sensing an opportunity, offers to play chaperone. Santos asks if it's time for his meeting with Nancy McNally, but Josh tells him that Anspaugh is first, and Donna reminds him that a reporter is also waiting. They throw some more things at Santos, while he absent-mindedly sits in the ice-cream puddle his son left on the table. Santos is cranky, but accepts the changes they make to the schedule, and then angrily asks someone to find Helen's mother and ask her to watch the kids.
Toby tucks a blanket over one of his kids, who has fallen asleep on the couch. He picks up a bag of candy and walks over to Andi, who asks him what the loot looks like. Toby tells her that there are a couple of Mars bars and a Bit O' Honeys. Andi excitedly asks for the latter. Man, that was just about my least favorite Halloween candy. Of course, I went trick-or-treating back in the days before people tried to give you things like toothbrushes. If I had ever gotten one of those, I think it would have stunted my emotional development. Toby says to Andi, "So, the witch thing works." At first I think he's calling her on being mean to him, but then he compares her current look to the "Catholic schoolgirl thing." Andi is appropriately receptive to the compliment. She pours herself some wine, and then Toby tells her about the offer he got from the prosecutor that morning. Toby now thinks that another indictment will not only mess up the Presidential campaign, but "may very well screw every Democrat in the country running for office." I think someone has a slightly inflated sense of his own importance. As one of those Democrats running for office, Andi is less than pleased at the news. She asks him, "What the hell is the matter with you? Just tell them it was your brother." Toby kind of laughs it off, and Andi reminds him that David is dead and won't be hurt by the revelation. But he interrupts her to ask, "What if it wasn't David?" She sighs, and says, "Only you." Toby asks Andi what she's talking about, and Andi points out that, due to her association with him, she's facing the real possibility of losing in a district that hasn't elected a Republican in forty year: "My campaign manager wants to make 'That's Why I Divorced Him' buttons." She tells him again to admit that it was David, adding, "It's what he would've wanted you to do." Toby: "Don't tell me what my brother would have wanted. He did nothing wrong, and I will not consider for one second defaming his reputation over something he had absolutely nothing to do with." I hope to God we learn what really happened before the end of the series. Screw Josh and Donna or C.J. and Danny -- this is the plot line that most needs to be resolved. Andi looks at Toby and asks him, "Is that what you're gonna tell the kids?"
Josh walks around outside the campaign bus, and Jon Bon Jovi approaches him and asks for time to pitch some ideas about "volunteerism on the national level." Otto walks up to them and tells Bon Jovi, "Volunteerism is the new black." That's the slogan for a campaign Bon Jovi is running. Otto totally wants to jump his bones. Of course, being Jon Bon Jovi, he's smart enough to know not to ask for time right away. Jon wants a chance to meet with Josh after the election, during the transition. Otto totally checks out Bon Jovi's ass as he walks away. Otto has some Oregon early voter returns for Josh, and also tells him that the Waller call has been rescheduled. Josh has no idea what this call is, and tells Otto to cancel it when he hears that Santos wants to rewrite part of the stump speech. Donna approaches, and there's some chatter about how Helen is late and how Santos is cranky. Josh thinks it's normal at this stage of the campaign, telling her, "Bartlet put his fist through a couple walls the last week of the first campaign." I'm having trouble picturing it. Was he in a Japanese teahouse? Were the walls made of paper? Donna tells Josh the saga of the Robin Hood skit Jay Leno wants Santos to do.
Helen and Annabeth arrive just as Donna's talking about tights. Annabeth thinks the sight of Santos in tights might "lock up the women's vote." Helen is more realistic, telling her, "You've never seen his legs." Why don't you give us a look and let us decide? Helen asks where the kids are, and when she hears they're snarfing down candy in the press van, she sets out for the van with an angry look on her face. About fifteen people shout out her name, and Helen realizes that it's probably not a good time for her to be around the press. She asks someone to check and "make sure [her] kids aren't falling into a diabetic coma." Annabeth offers, which is kind of ironic since the sound of her voice is enough to induce a diabetic coma in a lot of people I know. Helen walks away, and Donna asks Josh for thoughts on the Robin Hood sketch. Josh tells her, "He's already showing the felons the love. We don't need him to dress up like one." Helen tells Donna to come up with something funnier that Leno will want to do instead of Robin Hood.
Toby, humming very quietly, carries Molly to her bed and tucks her in. There are some windchimes in the background, or maybe a music box. It just goes on and on. It's very creepy, and I keep expecting Pennywise to show up. Toby walks over to Huck's bed (which is to Molly's), and covers up the Orioles cap on the bedpost with a Yankees cap. He whispers to Huck, "Trust me, you'll be happier." Toby bends down and kisses Huck's forehead, and then stands up and just looks at him. Very quietly, we hear Andi call Toby's name. Commercials.
It's 7:00 PM, and the Santos motorcade is speeding along a highway outside Dayton. On the bus, Santos is speaking with someone on the telephone, still spinning the felon voting issue. He hangs up the phone, and we see that Anspaugh is sitting nearby. They discuss all the lawyers the Democratic Party has in key states (including Florida) who are prepared to spring into action on Election Day. There are also briefs drawn up in the event that challenges need to be filed to the preliminary election results. Santos is brammed away from the conversation, and he asks Anspaugh whether he ever "gets nostalgic for the good old days, when there was just a winner and a loser." Anspaugh: "Talk to my Republican friends in Chicago. The good old days weren't, really." And apparently, the future days won't be so hot either.
The bus stops on some suburban street. In the front of the bus, Annabeth and Donna are brainstorming sketch ideas to propose to Leno. Annabeth asks, "How about a top ten list?" Donna points out that that's Letterman's shtick, and Annabeth wistfully says, "He's funny." Bon Jovi is nearby, and he asks if Santos plays an instrument. Everyone thinks they've found their solution, until Santos walks by and, in response to their question, tells them he plays the clarinet.
Santo exits the bus, and Josh (who's got a phone in his ear) tells him, "Don't get into it with the kids in the Vinick mask." And then we hear that he's still holding for Russell. Santos grabs the phone from him and introduces himself to the person on the other end of the call. Whomever he's speaking with seems doubtful that it's really him, so Santos suggests that he or she "turn on CNN and [he'll] wave." Once again, I do not for a million years believe that CNN is doing live coverage of his exit from the bus to trick-or-treat with his kids. Santos asks for Russell and promises to wait while the flunky gets hold of him.
U.S. Attorney's conference room. Alana and Toby are there, and the U.S. Attorney comes in wearing casual clothing. He's not pleased at being called away from his kids on Halloween. There's a long pause as neither Toby nor Alana say anything. Toby starts a little monologue about what an ambitious dude the prosecutor (whose name we finally learn is Peter Blake) is, and asks him what will happen to his opportunities to advance politically or as a judge if he pisses off the entire Democratic Party leadership by screwing up the election. There's a photo of Jed on the wall behind Toby, glowering down on the scene. Blake is pretty pissed off at Toby's suggestion, and repeats his threat to go to the grand jury in the morning. Toby: "No, you're not. You're not gonna do this. It's wrong and it's irresponsible." Blake thinks the irresponsibility of his actions don't hold a candle to the "Chief of Staff of the United States sharing classified Defense Department information with an unauthorized individual." There's some back and forth about whether or not that happened, with Toby insisting that C.J. did nothing more than ask him a hypothetical question, but Blake thinks that in itself was enough to get C.J. into trouble. He's getting angry, and asks Toby, "Please tell me I didn't leave a crying six-year-old in a Dorothy costume for this." Toby just looks at him, silently.
Chaos outside the Santos bus. Josh is on the phone, Lou's on the phone, everybody's on the phone. They are running late for the big rally in Houston, and Lou is trying to get someone there to keep the crowd in place for the several hours it will take for Santos to get there. Santos walks off the bus. He has successfully spoken with Russell, who acted like he didn't have time to campaign in Colorado for Santos because he was already committed to campaigning for other candidates. But Santos still pushed him to say yes, promising to find replacements to take Russell's place at other appearances. Santos throws a miniature tantrum, asking, "Am I going to get any time with McNally before this day is over?" I've been asking myself that question for the entire episode. Josh tells him that they'll have time to talk on the bus after the photo op. This entire time, Santos and a massive group are pedeconferencing along, Santos occasionally waving at people in the crowd. Santos is not thrilled at having such limited time with McNally, since he thinks the situation in Kazakhstan will have a profound influence on any new foreign policy initiatives. Lou smiles at Santos and says, "Try to make it look like you're enjoying your time with the children."
The crowd has arrived at Helen and the kids. Helen gives Santos a big smile, accompanied with a look that has a lot of anger in it. Santos quietly apologizes for being late and asks the kids how much loot they've gotten. Little Boy Santos moans, "My stomach hurts." Little Girl Santos wants to go home, but Santos tells the kids they have to go to one more house. Man, these kids are wimps. When I was their age, I would have trick-or-treated until midnight if I had the chance. That candy has to last you until Christmas! Santos quietly comments to Helen on the amount of candy in the kids' baskets. Should I make a joke about the sweet things that Santos has in his own basket? No. No, I think I won't. Helen, who is clearly angry, mutters about all the candy the press gave them, not to mention the sixty-three houses they hit while waiting for Santos to show up. There's some bickering about the ice cream (and I give Santos credit for not blaming Helen's mother for abandoning the kids), and then Helen tells him, "I made a factual statement. It's not like I was banging on a drum." Santos tries to smooth things over by blaming Annabeth for leaving Helen "out there on [her] own," but Helen just takes that as an accusation that she's incompetent. They ring the doorbell as the Santoses bicker. The door is opened by a stolidly middle-class, middle-aged Ohio couple. The wife is bearing a platter of caramel-covered apples. Okay, that may be the worst trick-or-treating giveaway I've ever seen -- mostly because you have no choice but to eat it right away. I mean, it's not like you can chuck it into your pillowcase with all the other candy. Little Boy Santos apparently agrees with my assessment -- he promptly bends over and throws up.
Back in the conference room, Blake is laying out his theory that C.J. told Toby about the military shuttle and that Toby is taking all the blame to spare her. Again, Toby denies learning about the shuttle from C.J. Blake asks if it was Leo, and Toby denies that. Blake is certain that there was someone who shared the info with Toby, since he never had clearance to have it. Toby and Alana are silent, and Blake tells them that the meeting is over. Toby starts lecturing Blake again. You know, his time away from the White House really hasn't done anything to improve Tony's people skills. Toby quotes from some dead white men about the prosecutor's obligation to be just and merciful as well as strict. Toby tells Blake that he can lock Toby up for six years, subpoena anybody he wants to, and screw up the election: "And it's not gonna change anything. I'm still not gonna change my story." Blake: "And that's it?" Toby: "Yeah, that's it." He continues, "I don't think derailing a presidential election is part of your job description." Blake stares at him. Toby: "And I don't think you believe it is either." And, scene.
On the plane, Donna is pitching a horrible sketch idea that involves Leno dressing as Vinick to steal some Halloween candy and then being arrested by Santos, who will be dressed as a police officer. Annabeth tells her that they might have to go back to the clarinet. Josh and Lou walk by. Basically, they're going to be really late for the Houston rally, the trick-or-treating photo op was a disaster, and they have no ideas at all for a sketch.
Santos enters the plane, carrying Little Boy Santos. Helen and Little Girl Santos follow. Helen takes LB Santos, and Santos asks...the bartender? Yeah, I guess so. He asks the bartender for some coffee. Otto walks up, and Santos asks where McNally is. (By the way, at this point Santos calls her "NSA," but the closed captioning refers to her as "former NSA." But earlier in the episode, Josh definitely called her "former NSA." So I think it's clear that Nancy has left her post. Does that mean Kate is the new NSA?) Otto breaks it to Santos that McNally had an early meeting in D.C. and left. See, I told you she was the one who bumped you, and not vice versa. Santos is not thrilled, and asks Josh to get her on the phone. Josh raises the problem with The Tonight Show, and Donna explains the issue with the sketch. Santos is clearly on his last nerve, and he does not need to deal with this picayune crap. Santos shuts Donna up by pointing out that he needs to get McNally on the phone, and that he has a call with Waller at 9:00. Josh breaks it to Santos that he canceled the Waller call, in part because the foreign policy section of the stump speech is already done. And isn't five days before the election a kind of stupid time to be messing with your stump speech? Santos is pissed, and starts talking about how the deployment of troops to Kazakhstan is going to deplete the military's ability to keep troops deployed in the West Bank. By now, he's screaming: "We are looking at three or four years in Central Asia. That is an entire presidency!" Santos storms off into his private room. Helen offers to go after him, but Josh tells her that he's got it.
Josh walks into Santos's room, where Santos is looking out the window. Santos starts pacing as Josh enters, and tells him, "We need to start addressing the real issues, and stop wasting time on beauty pageant ephemera." Josh reminds Santos that all of the stupid election things -- like appearing on late-night television and looking good with his kids -- are "a hell of a lot more important" than any policy considerations. Which may be true, and which makes me weep. Santos cuts him off, telling him, "Dammit, Josh, we need to focus." Josh pulls him up short, telling him, "We are! You like [Anspaugh] and McNally?" Santos points out that he had very little time with Nancy, and Josh tells him, "Berryhill had five minutes eight years ago." He asks again if Santos likes her. He does, of course, because not liking her is just too frightening a prospect. He also likes Anspaugh. Josh tells him, "Great! We got an Attorney General and a Secretary of State. That's not bad for a three-state, six-market day." Santos takes all this in. Josh continues: "Now we're gonna have this conversation about Leno, then you're gonna talk to Nancy, then you're gonna make up with your wife, so we have a relatively happy couple for the rally in Houston." And for the first time in a long time, I think we can safely say that Josh is da man. Santos is turned away and kind of bowed down, and Josh says, "Congressman?" Slowly, Santos turns to Josh with love in his eyes. He's pulled himself together, and is ready to get on with things. Josh starts to leave, and Santos calls him back. Santos looks utterly exhausted, by the way. They've done a fabulous job with his makeup throughout this episode. Santos asks Josh, "You think we're gonna win?" Josh looks at him for a few seconds, and then says, "I do." It's so nice to see these two patching up their romance. I was getting worried there for a while. Josh leaves, and Santos looks like it's finally all becoming real to him. Credits.