By Lauren S
The only follow-up to Toby's firing is a resounding "no comment" from the White House -- specifically from Will, who is trying to learn the ropes as Communications Director -- and a brief shot of Toby on the news on someone's television. Will's initially eaten alive by the press, but gets more comfortable as he holds more briefings. By the end of the day, someone thanks him with a rubber ball all his own, wrapped up in a red ribbon. The real focus of the hour is everyone's favorite hot-button issue -- abortion. An independent right-wing group runs an ad bashing Santos for his stance on abortion by using a snippet of an old interview out of context. Although it did not come from his own camp, Vinick wants it pulled so that he doesn't appear to have started a negative campaign. His staff doesn't necessarily agree with that choice, so both sides begin to prepare their ads bashing the other candidate. Team Santos finds a woman to act as spokesperson to clarify his stance on abortion who turns out to be...none other than Donna, which causes Josh to flip out. Louise (brilliantly) ends up putting Josh and Donna alone together in the same room to work out their differences so that Donna can work on the campaign, which results in a lot of yelling at one another and Josh acting supremely immature. Louise also replaces Josh in the latest debate negotiation meeting with Bruno, and in a risky play blows the talks up completely so that it does not look like Santos is begging for the chance to debate. The fallout from the TV spot causes both Santos and Vinick to attend The Al Smith Dinner in order to each clarify their stances on the abortion issue. While waiting to be introduced at the event, they wind up alone together in the kitchen and begin to snipe at each other. The sniping turns into a challenge for a single debate to be held Sunday in a Live Television Event.
We start out with Team Santos in Dearborn, Michigan. Everyone is already in a tizzy, Louise trying to convince Santos that very few voters actually read "that ink-stained rag," The New York Times. Santos (fairly understandably) isn't buying it. He points out that every columnist and media person reads it, which in itself is bad enough. It's now sixty-three days until Election Day. Josh is trying to convince them that whatever ran is much worse for Vinick, since he's the one who's been dragging his feet on the debate negotiations. The crew is heading through a kitchen, which is quite a theme for this week's episode. Josh: "I call it a classic case of a frontrunner trying to sit on a lead." Hang on, isn't that what anyone leading a race is trying to do? Ah, Santos is as confused as I am, and wryly points out that he can see why Vinick is doing that, since he's now been leading for two months. Josh exposits for us that the Times slammed the candidates for not yet having a debate. Santos adds, "It's starting to look like I'm desperate to debate him."
The mood is much different at Vinick's headquarters. He and Sheila exit a car, joking all the way about the autographing of inappropriate body parts. Really? I mean, I'm like any girl and would stick my chest out in front of Santos, but do you really want to feel Sharpie on flesh when that Sharpie is in Vinick's hand? Sheila basically tells him to watch it: "You're the President of the United States. You have a standard to uphold." It's all light-hearted, but that's the one thing Vinick won't joke about, just like any good sports fan won't say that his team has the game won already. Bruno only eggs her on, calling Vinick a rock star -- "David Cassidy meets David Rockefeller." Now THERE'S a love child. Sheila once again calls Vinick the President, and he tells her again to stop it.
Back with Team Tense, who are still walking -- seriously, how far are they going? It turns out that an aide told the Times that Santos was a great debater, so that increases expectations on his side while lowering them for Vinick. Aha, these politicians! Turns out they are crafty. Josh points out the obvious: "Well, he doesn't need the debates; we do. There's no way to hide that." The jury is still out for me as to whether Josh is doing the right thing in being so blunt, or if maybe he should try to be more positive or at least constructive, but...well, we'll see. Santos just stops and turns: "What good are debates if I have to demolish him just to win?" Josh says that he is meeting with Bruno the day. Santos replies only, "Break the logjam. And lower expectations." Josh starts sounding a tad desperate that those orders conflict, but as the doors slide shut, Santos just tells him, "Get it done."
Bruno reports to Vinick and Sheila that Santos has pulled out of North Dakota and West Virginia -- "There's not a single state we're not competing in. We could win all fifty. Get used to it, Senator." Vinick is still more nervous about the Times editorial, but the others aren't. Bruno assures him that they'll get the debates soon enough, and on their terms: "The Times is just rapping us on the knuckles." Sheila brings up a call from the governor of New York but Vinick just interrupts her to say he's not going to the Al Smith Dinner. (He must not have seen the name of the episode yet.) Apparently, it's customary for presidential candidates to speak at the dinner, but Vinick doesn't want to go because he knows what it will be. Everyone pauses to add suspense. Bruno: "Biggest political event in New York. Obviously, a huge deal in the Catholic community. You could go. Speak about your opposition to partial-birth abortion..." He's trying to be a voice of reason, but Vinick seems to be the only one who realizes that abortion of any kind is not the right topic for a speech to a room filled with Catholics. Sheila insists that New York -- and the Catholic vote -- are critical. But Vinick just tells them, "I'm pro-choice, same as Santos. I'd be crazy to engage this issue."
Santos also got a call, which he's pushing off on Josh. Bram is there to ask the question we all have: "Who's Al Smith, anyway?" "The first Catholic to run for president. 1928." The dinner is a big to-do because it's a benefit for Catholic charities, and the "most political non-political event in New York." Bram just replies that it will be Santos's crowd, since Vinick doesn't even attend church. Dryly, Santos points out, "That's just what I need, huh? A contest over who gets the most boos for the line 'I support a woman's right to choose.'" Everyone leaves for the night, and Santos settles down in his room. The TV gets louder, so we all know something's about to happen. The news anchor talks about Santos' being in Michigan, as the candidate has a cookie and sucks his gut in for a profile shot of himself in the mirror. Aw, hee!
Vinick and Sheila talk about his schedule, and there's some environment/Michigan humor -- who doesn't love "Hug a tree, kill a Chrysler"? They go on with a few administrative details, and it leads to his sending Bruno and Sheila home for the night: "It's been a great day." Uh-oh. Methinks that it's not going to be for long, if someone has had the gall to say it out loud and mean it. Vinick turns on the TV and is watching the same broadcast Santos is. Shots alternate of Vinick and Santos watching the same advertisement begin, and then both immediately and urgently get on the phone for others to "turn on MSNBC." "...Matt Santos on human life: 'Do I want to limit access to abortion? No.' Paid for by the Committee for the Integrity of Human Life." Vinick is pissed off and demands of the handset, "Who the hell is the Committee for the Integrity of Human Life, and who told them to drag abortion into my campaign?" Credits roll, and I decide that's too much typing, and that the group shall now be known as CIHL.
After commercials, all traces of the day's jovial mood are gone, and Vinick is raging that that it's a blatant attack. Sheila just keeps reiterating that it's not their ad. Bruno, however, knows that people won't make that distinction. Vinick replies that some left-leaning group will come right back at them, which will then start a negative ad war, which the campaign hasn't been to this point. (Which seems like quite the TV ploy to me, since I can't recall ever seeing a campaign that wasn't negative. But maybe that's just California?) Vinick: "They're hitting Santos for what a lot of Republicans think is my position on abortion." Sheila tries to smooth things over, saying that the ad points out clear differences in Santos's and Vinick's opinions, but Bruno once again voices reason: "That might look great to a few people, but phony and political to most." Vinick just wants the ad pulled and the chairman of the party to make an announcement against the ad and against the notion that this group speaks on their behalf; he'll say the same thing. He sends them off by saying that if anyone on their staff is involved, they are to fire him or her.
Santos is arguing that CIHL took the quote out of context, but when Josh asks whether he remembers what he said, Santos is only able to say, "I remember what I think." Lou tries to calm him down, but he's so anxious that he jumps on anything she says before she can finish a sentence. He wants to see the full interview that very night. Josh helpfully points out, "It will be hard to rebut; you voted against the partial-birth abortion ban." Santos explains his actions, saying that the ban didn't adequately cover the life and health of the mother. ["He doesn't mention, though he could, that anti-choice folks made up the term 'partial-birth abortion' because it sounds extra-gross, but that 'it is a phrase coined by politicians that does not refer to any specific medical procedure.'" -- Wing Chun] Santos continues to clarify more points about his position, and all of them make complete sense and look out for the best of the woman. "I am not for unlimited abortion," he concludes. Josh finally pipes up to say that he's not sure what to do, but that this will be all over the news the day, which will hurt the campaign with swing voters. Lou jumps right in to say that they can immediately launch a negative ad campaign. Josh sighs and drops his head, clearly not wanting to go that way. He defends (weakly) that they don't know if Vinick is actually behind the ad. Lou rebuts, but Josh points out the bigger picture: once they go negative, they can't go back. Santos's last word is to call Vinick's staff and have the ad pulled and denounced, and have negative ads ready to go immediately if they won't do that.
White House, Day Two (...after Toby's firing, I believe.) Will is being moved into Toby's old office, which he's really not comfortable with. Margaret offers the advice that he should just think of it as the 'Communication Director's Office.' Will: "Well, I can't help but think ["Sic -- nice way to kick off your tenure, 'Communication Director.'" -- Wing Chun] of it as a federal crime scene." Will's all over his job, though: he wants to make sure that, when the Toby news dies down, they'll have other policy information on which they can report. Unfortunately, the think tank is dry, and so Will is told he should "highlight the good things the government is already doing." Making me love him, Will deadpans, "Oh great, wait till people find out there's a Post Office." He opens the drawer and finds a pink rubber ball, an old one of Toby's. Let's all ignore the glaring holes in this plot device -- including (a) the office WAS a crime scene and everything was to be removed and I'm certain they didn't have any exceptions; and (b) it would have been sent to Toby with his personal effects after it was combed for evidenc -- and look at it as the nice, symbolic passing of the torch that it's meant to be. C.J. walks into the office, looking unsure and lingering in the doorway just for a moment. She begins to talk about an upcoming trip POTUS is taking to "distressed urban areas." Will wants to announce the trip week, but C.J. drops the bomb that Will must make the announcement that very day in his first briefing. Will tries valiantly to convince C.J. that this is a bad idea, but she has a comeback for everything. He points out that he doesn't know any details on the leak investigation, and hasn't even spoken to counsel, but she just dismisses him by telling him to refer those questions to counsel. Will: "'Those questions'? What about out the entire briefing?" "We have to show that we replaced Toby without missing a beat." Will is tossing the ball throughout the entire conversation. "There's an ongoing investigation -- there's not much we can say about it anyway." They both glance at the TV, which is miraculously louder now; we see Toby getting besieged by reporters and escorted by suits and cops up some steps. Goodbye, Toby -- I hope that three seconds of screen time didn't count as one of your remaining episodes this season.
Then there's another view of a television, and it took me a second to realize that this time, it's showing reporters shouting questions at Santos. They ask him about the ad, and he only responds that it's a distortion of his views. It turns out to be Vinick watching the TV. Bruno walks in behind him to report what they've learned about the CIHL: it is a 527, and "independent" (Bruno makes the world's weakest air quotes) "expenditure committee." Vinick seems relieved that this means CIHL will have no ties to Vinick or the Republican Party, but Bruno rains all over this little parade: major donors of the committee all give to the RNC, and to Vinick's campaign. Sheila walks in just in time to add to the fun by announcing that Hodder, the RNC chairman, won't denounce the ad. Vinick's incredulous. Sheila goes on to explain that Hodder's thought is that the ad will turn more voters against Santos, since although both candidates are pro-choice, the ad shows that Santos is without limits. Vinick seems not to hear her at all, but they finally get to the point after some more bickering: she does not want criticism from the pro-life voters. Bruno adds, "We are trying to win a mandate in a country that's over 60% pro-choice. We cannot get cute with this." Vinick doesn't want to get cute; he just wants Hodder to be the one to do the denouncing.
A phone rings to break up this tedious conversation; it's Josh. Bruno gets flippant with him, and Josh just lays it out immediately: "Get that ad off the air, denounce the sleazeballs that put it there, or the gloves are off." Josh -- it might be easier for him to hear you if you hold the phone with the microphone end nearer to your mouth than your eye. Bruno starts to speak, and Josh just hangs up on him. Let's get the negative ads ready, staffers.
Margaret is giving Will info from C.J. when he hopefully asks whether Margaret's heard back about his request to postpone the briefing. Margaret: "Unless you count her saying 'Don't ask if Will can postpone the briefing.'" He tells her that doesn't count. "Never heard back!" she calls as she turns off into an office. Will takes a quick breath and walks into the press room, immediately introducing himself and his new position. He then launches into information about a "New Markets Initiative." None of it is terribly exciting, and it's not what the press or the viewing audience care about. The crowd starts to mumble angrily as Will plows forward, and by the time he makes the mistake of asking for questions, his brow is furrowed deep enough that it might start swallowing his face. That might be preferable, however, since every question fired at him is solely about Toby and how much knowledge the White House had about his actions. The press corps is not happy when Will refers them to counsel, since counsel is ignoring the press. By this point, it's turning into quite the textbook definition of an angry mob. Margaret's watching on TV in C.J.'s office. She looks worriedly back and forth from C.J. to the TV. "They're crushing him like a grape." C.J.: "He's doing fine." I understand that jumping in is the best way to learn how to swim, but I really thought C.J. might have been a bit more sympathetic.
Hodder enters the Vinick office all bigger-than-life and puffed up with himself, blathering on about the same good news that elated them all the day before. Vinick's hilarious, actually, just delivering reflexive "yeah"s every so often until they all sit down, and then jumps right on Hodder about not liking the ad and needing Hodder to do something about it: "It's becoming a national story." (The kind of national story that we hear nothing about in the White House AT ALL during this episode.) Hodder plays infuriatingly coy -- giving a flip, super-innocent reply to the effect that he didn't see the ad before it ran. Here's another reason I'm not a politician: my tempter and I would try to lean across the table and bitch-slap Hodder out of frustration. But enough about me -- he continues his opinion that it would be damaging to pull it, and adds that it's an argument many people think Vinick should already have been using against Santos. Vinick takes the much less popular, upstanding road, saying that there aren't really that many differences between the two candidates' views on abortion, which finally causes Hodder to turn a bit more serious in his frustration and remind Vinick that much of the party and the people working for him right now are pro-life. There's a whole lot of Hodder taking different tacks, and all of them lead to his not denouncing the ad, and forcing the "unlimited" aspect of Santos's position. Vinick finally declares that he'll denounce it himself. His bluff called, Hodder finally tells Vinick point-blank what his problems are. He lists all the people who love Vinick, but adds that social conservatives don't: they think he doesn't address their issues. For that reason, Hodder says, "[Vinick is] the first candidate in twenty years to skip the Al Smith Dinner because God forbid you should be near some religious voters." These are people Hodder needs to do his job for the party. Vinick tries to argue for silly things like "growing the party" and "reaching out," but Hodder is worried about his salad and people voting the straight Republican ticket: "I guess I'd like to see you unite the party that we have now. I'm not denouncing that ad. And I don't think you want to either, Arnie." There's an intense stare-off, Vinick throws himself back in his chair, and Hodder finally really gets to enjoy his sandwich.
It's now the morning, maybe? Lou, Santos, and Bram are watching TV; reporters ask Vinick about the ad, and he concedes a bit to Hodder by simply replying, "I oppose all 527 ads." Pleasing no one by trying to please everyone; good job there. Josh shows the tape of the original interview, and sure enough, Santos's quote was taken massively out of context. What the ad never showed is that he followed "Do I want to limit access to abortion? No," with "Because there are common-sense limits under the law right now. Should we work together to reduce the number of abortions? Absolutely. And that's where I think we can find common ground." Santos is incensed that the content of the ad is fraudulent, but Josh (maybe not intentionally) dryly points out that Santos was pretty clear in saying he wasn't limiting access. The stations won't pull the ad, thinking CIHL is making a fair charge. Leo calls from campaign headquarters and points out that since Santos has already said it's a distortion, he worries that a stronger response will make it too big a story. Lou points out that the ad is already everywhere, but Leo reiterates that the Democrats are the pro-choice party: "I'm not sure we don't stand up and say, 'Damn right, I'm pro-choice. So's 60% of the country.'" I think that's just too refreshing. Santos is adamant that people can't think he's in favor of abortion without limits. Josh contributes to the conversation by looking really worried, and then they all talk in circles for a little while. Apparently, the way Vinick appeased his pro-life party was by telling it that he would appoint pro-life judges if he was elected. The only counter Santos has is to portray Vinick as non-religious and "hostile to heartland values." They all find themselves in a Catch-22: Leo doesn't want to elevate the story, but if enough people are swayed by the ad, then Vinick has as good as won. Josh still just looks contemplative and lost, while Lou is the other side of the coin and looks like she's working hard on a solution. Santos wants to go for the jugular: "We hit him, and we hit him hard." This causes Lou to sit straight up and look delighted.
Lou and Josh pedeconference through the office. She wants to get an ad ready, but just to sit back for now and let the media report what's going on, since they'll be attacking Vinick already. Josh wants a spokesman, but not Leo or Santos, since that would look like they were giving the issue too much importance. They reiterate how they'll make Santos look good and wronged, and then stick it to Vinick. Lou's eyes light up and she looks like a kid on Christmas, and Josh seems disgusted: "You don't have to be happy about this." Lou: "You don't have to be queasy about this." Josh doesn't want the campaign to go negative, since that will give Vinick the edge. Louise answers him by telling a little ditty about a campaign she once worked on. They did negative preemptive attacks, so that by the time the opponent could bring legitimate charges, they were lost in the sea of barbs. Josh can't believe Lou's proud of that, but to make her point, she reminds Josh of the good the guy now does in the senate: "Josh, do you want the right wing to get their judges?" No. "Then stop being so queasy." Having been put in his place, Josh glumly lays out how they'll attack Vinick for being pro-choice but letting the pro-life contingent pick his judges. Josh wants a "forty-something soccer mom" to be their spokeswoman on this. Back to another fun-filled issue: Lou asks about the debates, and Josh tells her he has a meeting with Bruno lined up for later that day. Lou points out how he needs to play The Rules a bit: "Don't be so eager, and they'll come running." ["I don't know; I think Bruno might be just not that into Santos." -- Wing Chun] Lou volunteers herself to go instead, since Bruno doesn't know her and she might therefore be more effective.
We see The Ad: it's on TV as C.J. walks out of her office and Will brings her up to speed. They discuss the campaign turning negative; she's distracted and hands him an Eskimo adage: "The best place to store surplus food is in somebody else's stomach." She wants him to use the line in his briefing later that day, and Will interrupts to basically say, "Are you trying to kill me, woman?" He is trailing after her talking about his bad stats -- forty-seven questions he didn't answer at his first briefing. C.J. seems not to give a rat's ass, and just keeps walking and glumly going on about the "new markets" initiative. Finally, she replies to his concerns: "You have to let the press punch themselves out." Will finally takes off the cute gloves (as much as he can) and points out that he needs to know more to be able to do his job. Counsel won't brief him, which as it turns out is at C.J.'s request. She maintains that the less Will knows, the more credible he'll be answering that each time. Will: "0 for 47. I'm the Jamaican bobsledding team." C.J. shuts the door. Don't worry, Will! You'll still go to the Olympics and be embraced by your country...or something!
Josh is doing some leadery things, and then asks Otto if he got someone. Otto did, and she's "straight out of Central Casting." Well, in a strange, meta way, he's right. "Trust me, this gal's a cold glass of milk." The conference begins, and Josh walks to the nearest TV, from which a familiar voice is talking. He picks up the phone and calls Otto back with an intelligent "That's...Donna." He wants the forty-something soccer mom, but it turns out they had her busy in the Midwest. I love the idea of actually having a forty-something soccer mom on retainer. Otto doesn't get why Josh is so upset, and doesn't really care; he lets Josh know instead that the Women's Alliance for Choice wants a meeting. Josh wants Leo to do it, thinking Santos needs to stay away from a pro-choice group until everything has died down.
Vinick watches Donna: "She's hitting me from the left and the right. Telling the right I'm pro-abortion, telling the left I'm a captive of the religious nuts." Sheila, meanwhile, is on the phone, saying that the RNC upped the ad buy in every battleground market. Back to Vinick: "And since I don't have a functioning uterus like Tippi Hedren here, I'm not qualified to talk about it." Sheila lets him know that all of the networks are running stories on The Ad tonight. Vinick still wants to denounce it (and if he doesn't stop this, we're going to think he's a politician with some scruples), but Sheila agrees with Hodder that the ad is technically correct. At the real core of the issue -- the CIHL raised $250K from the ad the night before, and it will be even more astronomical after the television coverage that night: "This is energizing the very people we were afraid were going to stay home in November!" Vinick seems to want either to kill his staff, or to give up. Sheila doesn't want him fully to stand by the ad, but to go to the Al Smith Dinner instead of to Michigan: "Talk about your opposition to partial-birth abortion. And the minute that Santos runs his first negative ad, we run a hundred of ours." Vinick: "Years I've been looking forward to this campaign. I never imagined it would look like this." Sheila starts to tell him, "It'll look better after you win," but Vinick just walks away.
Poor Will. He's trying to stand tall, but he's going to need Botox soon with his forehead all wrinkled like that. He heads into the briefing, and just as they did before, the reporters clamor, he jumps right into "new markets," and nobody cares. "As the Eskimos said, if you store your food in somebody else's stomach...um...well, you'd better hope it doesn't need refrigeration." The reporters go nuts with questions -- the same hoo-ha about Toby. "I'll refer you to this morning's briefing." "When you said you'd get back to us on that." "See, now you're cheating; you didn't need to be referred." Josh Malina is doing a great job looking like he's about to vomit all over the podium. "Will, you've been in this job four days. When are you going to sit down with counsel and get us some answers?" This question -- the one everyone really wants answered -- is greeted with dead silence, flashing bulbs, and swirling camera work. Will: "I'm not." This is now the second time I've watched this scene, and I still wondered if he was actually going to puke. Everyone goes nuts again.
Bruno's at the table as one of those news stories runs about the ad, and lays out how the Democratic groups will respond in kind. Flame war! Lou enters, doesn't say anything, and grabs a magazine off of the top of a stack of them that she is carrying. Eventually, Bruno notices her presence and asks who she is. After introductions, she tells him that Santos benched Josh and sent her, but keeps her eyes right on the magazine. I wonder if it's Domino -- I've found that I have a really hard time tearing my eyes away from that to do anything productive, either. Bruno's less than amused, but plays along. He finally asks if they'll negotiate, and she plays with her earlobe hilariously and just gives a great, airheaded smile and says, "Naaah." Bruno's not having any of it, and so Lou gets down to serious business, talking fast: "You want as few debates as possible but you don't want to tick off the debate commission or the opinion elites, right? And I think that Vinick could kick Santos's abortion-loving ass all over the stage, game. Over. Check. Please." "And?" Lou: "And I'm your best buddy on this. No debates, you can blame me. Would you like a magazine? Because I figure about a half-hour of this and I can tell the congressman it didn't work out." Bruno just stares, and you can't really read from his face what he's thinking, but I think it's that he's surprised someone just out-attituded him.
Back at Santos headquarters, Leo is walking with a woman, telling her, "You understand why I'm taking this meeting and not Santos." "He didn't want to be seen with the Women's Alliance for Choice. Not while he's trying to limit abortion." Leo protests, but she just replies that that's basically what his spokeswoman said. Leo is still dancing, trying to get this back on a good track by using Bartlet as an example. The Alliance woman replies, "President Bartlet never ran against a pro-choice Republican." (Okay, her name is Becca. I'll just cheat a bit since the pronouns are getting crazy.) Becca looks serious and a tad embarrassed, and assures Leo they haven't endorsed anyone yet. Leo says that they need to wait (assuming that Santos is the Alliance's choice) because they need some moderate votes and can't make Santos the "baby-killing candidate." Wow, Leo, way not to piss these ladies off with rampant assumptions and crude joking language. Before he can finish, Becca bursts his bubble: "We're thinking of endorsing Vinick." Leo thinks she's playing a game, but she points out that Vinick is both pro-choice and probably going to win. She delivers the blow about the debates: "The way Santos has been begging for it, Vinick's expectations are so low, he'll just have to avoid tripping over the podium to win." Leo's dumbstruck, and his only response is that the Democrats are the pro-choice party. Becca doesn't think they're really sounding like it right now. If Vinick does win, then "both parties will be where the country is: pro-choice, down the line." Leo starts to tell her how picking a Republican would undo things, but she interrupts, "Think of how many more Republicans would have the courage to stand up for a woman's right to choose." Leo is dumbfounded. As they fade to black, he nods a bit; it's an argument he can't counter.
Vinick is glad-handing in a factory in Petersburg, Virginia, and all I can think of is Dave. Someone, get to the controls of some mechanical arms and tell a story about a Really Big Fish! Classic humor! Bruno tells Vinick about Lou's ending the debate negotiations, but assures Vinick that it is a ploy: "He needs debates ten times more than us. We can wait it out." Vinick seems a little bit unsure about that, but seems to go with it. Bruno: "That's the bad news, but the good is that the Women's Alliance for Choice wants an endorsement meeting...The heart of the Democratic base wants to support you. Santos would be doomed -- we'd win fifty-three states, a couple of desert islands...." Knowing that what looks too good to be true often is, Vinick wonders how they know it's not a set-up; Bruno assures him that they just meet with the Alliance to find out. Vinick's not so sure, since the Republican party could go nuts if the Alliance got "within fifty-three feet" of him. Note to writers -- make up new random numbers for use within a single scene. Bruno: "You're the pro-choice candidate. They're the pro-choice lobby. This isn't a typical election." They go back and forth a bit more, Vinick worried and Bruno reassuring him. Vinick doesn't want to lose his own party's support, which could happen if word of this meeting gets out: "I can't win without my own party. We're going to New York tomorrow. I'm speaking at the Al Smith Dinner. Tell Sheila I need speech language on partial-birth abortions that will mollify the right."
Josh morosely watches an anti-Vinick ad about him flip-flopping in the Senate. He really seems to have fallen into a state of perpetual defeat. Lou walks in as he clicks it off: "You hired Donna Moss?" "No, I picked her off the street and put her on national television." Josh starts to go on about how wrong Donna was for that rebuttal, but Lou says she really liked her and is acting like an actual adult about the whole situation. Josh takes the complete opposite tack by practically stomping his feet and having a tantrum like a two-year-old: "She worked for Russell in the primary." "So did half the available Democratic talent." THANK YOU for adding some reason to this topic! Kiss me, Lou. Josh: "She worked for me before that!" "Well, that is a strike against her; I can see why you're concerned." Is Josh even trying to look like a professional at this point? He's heading a presidential campaign; he needs to learn how to control himself, just a tad. In order to lighten things up, Lou nonchalantly tells him that debate negotiations are off and she's already told the Times and Journal that the Santos ended them. Josh is panicking, complete with a rising voice, but Lou's cool as a cucumber, saying that it's just what they need: "Josh, think you're queasy again." Josh is still more concerned about Donna, and jumps right back into that subject again with all of the quotes Donna gave in the primary. He tries to flex his muscles by saying that he needs to sign off on a spokesperson, but by now Lou's ignoring him. Tantrums will have that result. To round out the Trifecta of Bad News that this conversation is becoming, Josh then drops the bomb about the Alliance considering endorsing Vinick. Lou pays attention to this, calling it "very bad news." She points out that it could hurt Vinick with the right (the exact thing Vinick himself is worried about), but Josh goes for the defeated point of view: "Great, Vinick loses the right, keeps the middle and the left, and the only way for us to get votes is plastering the Ten Commandments all over our campaign bus.
Back at the White House, C.J. and Margaret are walking while C.J. goes over some fantastically ridiculous expenditures when Will arrives, looking like he's once again being sent to the wolves. C.J.'s not really in a mood for him, and replies to his "Back into the breach" with "Down the hall, turn left at the crucible." He asks for tips, and she tells him just to follow his instincts. Unfortunately for him, "[his] instincts say to curl up in a ball in the corner of [his] office." An unsympathetic C.J. just replies, "Then follow your JOB description." Will takes his cue and heads down the hall, left at the crucible. Margaret and C.J. finish up with some unimportant billspeak.
Will's back at the podium, speaking some more about New Markets, and that the president will visit an Indian reservation. I just like hearing him carefully pronounce "Oglala Sioux." Say it a few times. It rolls off the tongue in a really satisfying way. He concludes, "I'll dodge your questions now." He's faced with dead silence. Finally, one reporter asks a question about the actual topic at hand. Will looks surprised, but in a good way. It's nice to see him not terrified or defeated.
Lou huffs down the hall and greets Josh, who gives Joey Lucas her shout-out for the episode, asking after another version she's supposedly creating of the ad, "without the 'Monster Chiller Theater' music." She just takes him by the arm and tells him to go with her. She's taking him to the bedroom, which inspires all sorts of joking until she opens the door, and he sees Donna and her awful bangs sitting on the bed. In a line that many people have been waiting a long time to hear, Lou tells them, "I don't know what the problem is between you two, but she's great on television and I don't care if she worked for Francisco Franco in the primary: right now it's all hands on deck, so...work it out."
Never one to shy away from a difficult situation...oh wait, this is Josh dealing with Donna. Without even looking up at her, he starts in with interview questions: "What kind of on-the-record experience have you had?" Donna can't believe this ninth-grade behavior: "Job interview?" Josh: "I'm campaign manager. I hire staff. Generally involves an interview." His face is screwed up like he smelled something bad -- he pretty much looks just like the asshole that he's acting. Donna just stands right up to him and answers. "Six hours ago, nationally televised press conference, Santos/McGarry campaign." "References, if we want to pursue this?" "Josh Lyman, Campaign Manager? Try the main switchboard." There's a question in Donna's voice. I wonder if that's her asking herself why she chose that shade of nude lip gloss. "He'd tell you that campaigns demand loyalty. You don't go working for the other guy." "Who happens to be the party's frontrunner," Donna replies. At this quite valid point, Josh loses it and they begin a personal argument. He can't believe she'd work for someone he wasn't supporting, since he was her "mentor in professional politics." She fires back that he kept her from moving up since she knew he "liked his hamburgers burned like hockey pucks." Voice cracking, Josh squeaks, "You ditched me when I gave you a career!" Ah, the melodic sound of two people who won't admit feelings for one another. Lou interrupts them to let them know that the news about the Alliance's wanting to meet with Vinick has broken over the wires; she tells Donna, "I need you to spin it bad for him, fine for us." Donna grabs her bag, asking, "How is that even possible?" Lou: "Bad for us, worse for him. Whatever sticks to the wall." Josh decides to pretend to care how Santos is doing. Bram reports that, in addition to this latest news, there are two more things. One is that Vinick will be speaking at the Dinner, and reporters want to know if Santos will as well. The second issue is that the Bishop of Camden has issued a statement, saying that he would deny Santos communion if he tried to worship at his church, because of his abortion stance: his views have "placed him in a state of grave sin."
Meanwhile, Leo's in New York on a phone, convincing Santos that his staff did the right thing by ending debate negotiations. Santos is worried about the statement from the Bishop, but level-headed Leo points out that Santos doesn't go to church there anyway. Ah, so it's a rhetorical excommunication! He reports that the first negative ad is almost ready. Leo then offers...not quite condolences, but acknowledgement that he knows Santos wanted a "more substantive campaign." That turns out not to be Santos's concern, though, since the negative ads work. Santos wants the Alliance back, and Leo lays it out: Santos needs to come to the Al Smith Dinner, defend his pro-choice stance, and have a tough skin. Santos: "So I'm the abortion without limits guy, huh?" "We're the pro-choice party. You've gotta dance with the one who brung ya."
It's Day Three, Featuring a Motorcade of Suburbans! Although the Santos camp knows Vinick is speaking at the dinner, they don't know what he's going to say. A poll tells them that the news stories did cause Vinick to suffer more of a hit than Santos did; people seemed to think either that he should denounce the ad or that he was just a typical Republican. Unfortunately, if he gets the Alliance endorsement, it will change such thinking right fast. The mood is blue as they all contemplate how bad that would be, "especially for [sic] a group that's supposed to be on our side." Donna has been sitting in the front seat and finally turns around to speak: "They're not on our side." There's a totally unspoken "duh" there. She points out that they're on their own side, and that most of their followers aren't going to vote based on what their leaders say. They'll vote based on their own beliefs, and those are Democrat: "Poll that. I bet 85% of them are dyed-in-the-sackcloth Santos supporters." Josh just sits, silent, and then says, "Call Joey with that question for tomorrow's poll." Lou is already on it. Donna turns back around; Josh just stares.
It's now nighttime; C.J. is working at her desk. Will walks in, and without even looking up, C.J. begins firing assignments at him. He continues to stand in front of her when she's done, so she looks back up. He is barely containing a smile: "Did you see today's briefing?" She gives him nothing back: "Yeah, we need a better answer on the energy bill. Not your fault. D.O.E.'s been dickering around." "Right." Aw, Will. He looks a bit bummed. Let me give you a hug, fella. C.J. keeps on working, and Will makes his way back to his office where, on the desk waiting for him, is a pink rubber ball with a red ribbon tied around it. Consider my heart warmed! He sees it, smiles, and has started bouncing it with a much more confident and proud air when his phone rings. We just hear his side of a conversation with a reporter, talking about new markets and deflecting investigation questions. He leans back in his chair and bounces the ball -- this seems like such a Mary Tyler Moore, you're-gonna-make-it-after-all moment -- and manages to throw the ball a bit too hard, taking a full cartoon flop backward in his chair, pulling the phone off the desk and clattering to the ground while we watch his feet wiggle above the desk. I have to admit, I laughed out loud at this point. He plays down the noise on the phone and continues to do his job -- maybe he's not quite the Toby yet, but he'll get there: "Keep talking, I'm not going anywhere."
Waldorf-Astoria Hotel, NYC. Everyone is in tuxedos, except for Lou, who is absolutely rocking a black off-the-shoulder dress. They're preparing for the negative ads to begin, and then Bram lets Santos know he can meet with the Alliance there, "in Holding." Santos and Leo head off to the meeting.
At...another entrance? The same entrance, later? It's very hard to tell, but it's another underground tunnel. Hodder is telling Vinick he hopes he gives a tough speech on partial-birth abortion. He thinks it's "a disaster" that the Alliance wants to endorse him. Vinick: "'Cause I'd get more votes? For a position I happen to hold?" I like Vinick, because he seems to dislike Hodder as much as I do.
Leo and Santos are walking, and Santos's shoulders are slumped. It seems that the Bishop of Camden issue is affecting him, and Leo tries to talk him down, pointing out that the clergy can't expect Santos to be able to do what they can't do in their own churches: "The bible's silent on the issue. Not one word says it's a destruction of human life." Santos: "It is." Imagine, if you will, the cartoonish screech of brakes. Leo says to Santos, "You're pro-life." It's a statement, not a question. The puzzle pieces fall into place. Santos believes life begins at conception. "Well, ain't that a kick in the pulpit."
Vinick and Hodder are still politely bickering. Vinick points out that he's not going to try to change Roe v. Wade, but Hodder reminds him that's not the party's position. Vinick: "I joined this party because the liberals were always the ones who wanted something from the government. We just wanted government to leave us alone. Especially when there's no consensus otherwise. I'm trying to lead the majority that agrees on that, not the minority that wants to enact their version of Leviticus into law." Hodder: "We're a big tent, Arnie. Room enough for all." Sorry dude, that's not really what you've been saying at all, but good try. Hodder adds, "You're going to denounce that ad tonight." He throws his hands out. "I'm not responsible for making you more palatable with the abortion lobby." "Arnie" turns and gives him a hard look: "Denounce that ad. Or I'll do it in my speech. In front of two dozen bishops and a tent full of Catholic charities." Now I know for sure this is only the magic of television, because Vinick's threatening to stand up for what he believes in front of an opposing group.
"Holding" means that they're meeting with Becca in some sort of storage room. Suddenly, I feel very much like I'm recapping Season 1 Alias. I cannot wait for Becca to don a red wig and steal some terrorist technology at the dinner! I hope Leo gets to play a foreign diplomat. She begins by saying she's heard from Leo that Santos might be giving a pro-choice speech at this dinner, and her tone of voice is practically feeding him the response he needs to give in order to win her over. Though Santos/McGarry is the pro-choice ticket, Becca thinks the Alliance should encourage pro-choice Republicans. Santos jumps in to say it's also important that they not alienate people who are anti-abortion, either. "Pro-choice means people can do whatever they want," says Becca. She's a quick one; she can see where this could be going already. Santos: "Um, yeah, but it doesn't mean we should be proud of whatever they choose. Maybe all this chest-beating's the reason the right can get away with that ad -- the reason a leader of my church can exile me for not imposing my religion on the rest of the country. And we're surprised that there are people out there who think that we're for unlimited abortion? That there are actually voters who are pro-choice that think that we're too extreme?" Becca's doing a lot of chest-puffing of her own, but instead of attacking Santos, calmly asks him what limits he is for. Santos: "Do you support abortion to choose the sex of the baby?" "Of course not." "How about after an IQ test?" "No." "Well then, you support limits on abortion yourself. Isn't it a matter of degrees after that?" Santos asks who any of them is to choose where to draw the line after that. Becca wants to know what he's saying that night. Santos: "That abortion's a tragedy. That it should be legal, it should be safe, it should be a whole lot rarer than it is now. You have a problem with that, then endorse whoever you want." That last line comes out a bit more humble than it looks in print, but it's still quite a point. McGarry, at a loss for words, just heads out after Santos.
As the music builds, the two teams make their way through hallways, stairways, and kitchens (oh my!) toward the room where the dinner is actually being held. There are two doors into it; miraculously, Vinick is waiting at one while Santos waits at the other, and all of their staff members and Secret Service details have gone either into the room or vanished into thin air. Both wait a couple of moments before acknowledging each other. It's a little like watching my personal routine when I'm waiting for someone in a bar and trying not to look like I notice the guy who is trying to get my attention. Santos finally breaks the tension: "time you want to smear me, maybe you'll have the guts to do it yourself." Why, hello to you too. Let the sniping begin! It dissolves into the debate issue, Vinick saying it was Santos's team who blew up the negotiations, and Santos pointing out, "I forgot how eager you were for debates." That line is enough to send Vinick over to talk a bit closer than twenty feet away from Santos. Oh, maybe it's the dishwashers listening in the background, too. Though, man, if I were one of those dishwashers, I'd also be doing my best Theresacelebritybutimtotallynotlooking glance, perfected from growing up in Los Angeles. Vinick and Santos are speaking more quietly, essentially accusing each other of starting the dirty fight. They pause, and as Santos stares straight at Vinick, Vinick starts to fiddle with his tux and gaze around the room a bit as the introductions drag on. With that, Santos realizes that Vinick's going to nail him on the partial-birth abortion issue. And to his credit, Vinick is evidently guilty but unhappily so. After a pause, Santos finally points out how ludicrous this is. They're trying to nail each other about an issue on which they basically agree. He just walks away, back to his own door. Santos is the first to suggest it: they do the negotiations right now with each other. Vinick laughs him off, but after a moment, he throws out his own condition: no negative ads and no attacks on each other during the night's dinner. Santos will agree if they do a real debate. Vinick approaches Santos again and replies, "How's Sunday night?" Why, Sunday night? Sunday night is when The West Wing airs on NBC! This is going to be PERFECT! They shake hands as Vinick gives Santos a confident, pitying look: "It's a hell of a way to end your campaign." "Oooh, I'm just getting started." And...they are introduced. And...Santos, you might have wanted to get started a few months ago. I'm just sayin.'