Episode Report Card Jacob Clifton: A+ | Grade It Now! YOU GRADE IT This Day By the Lake
By Jacob Clifton | Season 5 | Episode 6 | Aired on 07.13.2009
In a hurry? Read the recaplet for a nutshell description! Finished? Click here to close....And it's six months later. Nancy and Esteban have eased into a fairly straightforward romantic Eden, and Shane has taken on Ignacio as his new role model. Over in the old house, Celia's still living in the garage, Doug and Silas are floundering with their dispensary, and Andy has gone completely bugshit insane, growing out a crazy looking moonshiner beard and suddenly able to relate only to Ms. Pac-Man and the fifty thousand other stupid things he spent all Judah's money on.
And here we'd always sort of assumed Nancy was generating more crazy around her, but it turns out maybe her continual U-Turn craziness spiral had a point after all, because without her, everything falls apart. When Esteban proposes to Nancy, Doug decides he wants to become George Hamilton and gets a bizarre tan, Celia trades in her Foot Locker ("Super Sneakers") stripes for the Mary Kay ("You're Pretty!") cult, Shane starts cracking under the pressure of seeing what Ignacio's joyful destruction actually represents, Andy is already insane but decides to have a fencing match with Esteban, and Silas has to deal with the fact that Doug may have just killed their cop-grifting partner.
Nancy's still thinking she's got something to prove to Guillermo, but for once that's not the problem: At the last second, the mysterious and very ticked-off Pilar shows up with a bone to pick. Having that much español hurled at you without subtitles, like in the doctor's office/mothership, is supposed to be a little bit disconcerting for us, like Nancy. But from what I can tell, there is a problem having to do with the synecdochal eyes of all Mexico and their interpretation of Esteban's relationship with Nancy, such that our eightball-crossed lovers will not be getting married, and Nancy will be having her baby underground. Maybe literally, but most likely before going in that landfill after all.
Want more? The full recap starts right below!It's six months later in Esteban's beautiful house, and Nancy's huge in the shower while he reads What Not to Name Your Baby. He is particularly put off by "Percy," and by "Humphrey"; Nancy agrees that the romance of noir would be somewhat lessened were we to change every "Bogey & Bacall" to "Humphrey & Lauren." The romance of noir being, of course, such a valuable commodity.
Nancy sits down with him, in her robe, and modestly he produces a ring box, black velvet: "I've decided that we will get married," he says, and continues to flip through the book. She stares at the box, at him, and tries to fit this moment into the romance she's spent six months trying to construct around the simple fact that this child is the only thing keeping her safe and alive.
"That is a prized family heirloom," he says, noting her lack of enthusiasm. "Reyes means Kings," he explains, noting that Botwin doesn't seem to have a similarly grand etymology. AWESOMELY, "Botwin" is an Ashkenazi occupational name meaning greengrocer, somebody who sells leaves. Drop Botwin for Reyes and leave behind the greengrocer trade forever. She tries to explain in a way that isn't insulting that this proposal, in all its modesty, is not really how she "pictured this going down." Like most sentences these days, she ends it with a question mark; it doesn't help. He stands and leaves her there in the bathroom, and alone, she cracks the box: it's hideous, as big as a baby's fist, with a giant purple stone.
In the bedroom, he's naked on the bed and she laughs at him, realizing this was one of his jokes as he asks if she liked the ring. "Oh, it's hideous," she assures him, happy for a moment. He tells her it's the champion ring of a soccer team he owns, and she shrugs "That's a pretty good burn, Patrice"). They curl up in the bed together and she asks if he was serious. He laughs, and whispers yes, and parts her robe, caressing her belly, leaving a prettier ring behind. "Where was that?" she giggles. Don't ask.
"We're not children anymore, Nancy. We're not playing house. I ask that you give yourself to me." She smiles; she likes that. Complete abdication. "To be mine, forever. Mrs. Esteban Reyes." She asks if that would make him "Mr. Nancy Botwin," and he assures her it would not, so she jokingly says no before saying yes. They kiss, tenderly, and he puts the ring upon her finger.
That awful cop of Silas's wants to do some drugs, but Silas is being a good little Gallant (CP the Cop calls him "Boy Scout") and telling him they can't use up all the product. He takes it for himself, even as Silas is protesting that he and Blitt -- about whom, at this point, less said the better -- need to take inventory of what stock they've got left. CP says he's hurt, but he understands if Silas doesn't want to "get faded" with him right now, and walks away, then turns back like he just thought of something. "What really hurts," he explains, is how they've been light on their monthly payments a few times. He gets threatening, pulling a gun, but when he calls Silas a bitch-ass bitch you remember he'll be fine: he's his mother's son. Something will come up.
In the book of names, Shane learns, his name means "a feeling of guilt." He asks if he was an accident and Nancy says she can't remember, she was hammered. I don't know if she's kidding, she's in a really weird, scary mood. Like she says if he was allowed to pick his own name, at three he would have ended up Count Chocula Botwin, and they laugh, but then her eyes get wide and Adderally and she's all look at my riiing and he says he already talked to Esteban about it, which seems to tick her off. Or maybe it's the guzzling coffee and speaking in half-Spanish that's bugging her.
As for the coffee, he says that's an Ignacio thing -- puts hair on your chest -- and she actually gets kind of mad and gives him this pissy face about how spinach doesn't give you instant muscles and an anchor tattoo, and then won't even look up when Ignacio comes in. What do you think, is Ignacio's resemblance to Judah an actual plotpoint, or only in my head? I don't know. Ignacio congratulates her on the engagement and she spits fire, right up until Shane tells her that Andy's the only one who still doesn't know. Yikes.
Shane's all trying to learn bullshitty Celia Hodes bastard Spanish for summer school, like, "I would like to buy a Fresca with this credit card," and Ignacio is not feeling that, so first he tells him how to say, "Pay up, motherfucker, or I will crack your head open with an icepick," and then they decide to skive off, with a requisite "We don't need no stinkin' X," in this case X being equal to school. Everything Ignacio does, Shane finds charming. Me too! That's so weird.