Dead Men Walking

Recapped by M. Giant · Aired 10-21-2012 · S03E02

Seconds after amputating Hershel's leg with a hatchet in the prison cafeteria, Rick and the gang drag him right back out, now that the walkers have apparently gotten bored. The five prisoners who have been locked in there for ten months try to follow, but Daryl, T-Dogg, and Rick make sure they don't make it to the cell block where the group has set up housekeeping. There's a bit of a standoff between Rick and the inmates' hotheaded leader (the only one of them with a gun) about exactly whose prison this really is, but they come to an uneasy settlement wherein Rick, Daryl, and T-Dogg will help the prisoners clear out their own cell block so they can stay nice and clear of our group. You know, it's either that or kill them, and Lori tells Rick to do what he has to do, to which Rick has a pretty awesome response.

Meanwhile, Hershel and his bloody stump are parked on one of the cell bunks so he can go about either bleeding out or turning into a walker, whichever comes first. Glen's job is to stay on top of him in the event of the latter, which he mostly does until Carol (who Hershel has drafted as his medical student) drags him out to the yard to help her collect a walking cadaver on which she can practice doing the C-section she's likely to have to perform on Lori. Maggie seems ready to give up on Hershel while Beth keeps hope alive and New Improved Carl quietly raids the infirmary to get much-needed medical supplies, only to get yelled at for it by Lori. But Lori's not done making bonehead moves; she's stupid enough to give Hershel mouth-to-mouth when he stops breathing. The good news is that when that brings him back, it's in the right way.

The expedition to clear Cell Block D doesn't exactly go smoothly. Rick, Daryl, and T-Dogg are saddled with five zombie-hunting neophytes who have a shallow learning curve, and during one of the many melees, one of the prisoners is scratched. The prisoners' leader kills the man in cold blood, and during a later melee, tries to kill Rick as well. Rick ends up killing him right back, as well as one of his accomplices, but allows the two surviving prisoners to enter Cell Block D alive, though not quite in luxury.

When our guys return safely to Cell Block C, Hershel is not only still alive, he shows no signs of zombification. In fact, it's been such a successful day that in private, away from everyone else, Rick is even able to say something nice to Lori. Better yet, he keeps it brief.

After last week, when Rick hacked off Hershel's zombie-bitten leg in view of five shocked inmates who have been presumably trapped in here since Day One, we pick right back up in the cafeteria one second later. Obviously the five once and present inmates and our heroes are pretty surprised to meet each other. One of the current residents draws a gun (the only one so armed; their arsenal is less Max Payne and more Clue) upon learning that Hershel's been bitten, but T-Dogg holds them at bay while Glen ransacks the adjoining room they just stepped out of for medical supplies and Rick leads the effort to drag Hershel back out of there before he bleeds out. They make their way through a flimsily barricaded door and one helmeted walker courtesy of T-Dogg before they head back out, leaving behind five very confused dudes and half of Hershel's leg. This is not the rescue squad they've been waiting for.

The inmates decide to follow, brandishing their lame-ass weapons, while the invasion force returns to their cell block with T-Dogg and Daryl acting as rear guard. With Hershel down and laid out on the bunk in his cell, Carol takes over as the group's medical expert (we'll later find out that Hershel's been giving her lessons, so that she'll be useful during Lori's delivery), but Hershel's bleeding so quickly that it's not looking good. Oh, and there's also the thing where he's been BITTEN BY A ZOMBIE.

The inmates come out to the assembly room where Daryl is waiting for them, crossbow at the ready. Clearly nobody had to tell anyone that these guys weren't to be allowed into Cell Block C, where the group has set up housekeeping. Daryl tells them they've been pardoned and are free to go, not bothering to try to sound any more official than he looks, but the one with the gun doesn't seem as grateful for their freedom as the others are. Indeed, he's the only one who thinks it's odd that a bunch of people broke into a prison and aren't bringing a wounded friend to the hospital, which tells him that it's not any safer outside than in. A confrontation starts escalating with T-Dogg entering the room, so of course Rick has to go back and sort it out personally. But not without first urgently telling Glen not to leave Hershel's side. "If he dies, you need to be there for that." I assume he doesn't mean in the emotional sense. Doing what needs to be done might prove challenging in Maggie's presence, but Glen assures Rick that he's got it. Rick runs out to the other room, trustingly leaving the grate open for New Improved Carl to close and lock behind him without being asked, which he does.

By M. Giant

Rick joins the meeting of the minds in progress. The inmates tell their story, which starts with a fire, followed by the zombie outbreak and ending with a caring, generous guard who locked them in the cafeteria and promised to be right back, even throwing them the gun before leaving. And that's where they've been for the last ten months, with access to enough food to stay alive, not to mention barber supplies and even moustache wax, apparently. As for that guard, whatever happened to him is probably better than what the Department of Corrections would have done to him for arming a prisoner. They've been waiting for the Army or the National Guard ever since, but Rick breaks the news that it's all gone. They want to call their families, like there's still a grid of any kind and Rick explains that half the population has been wiped out, which seems pretty conservative to me. Even the cast of this show hasn't done that well. Rick leads them out to the corpse-littered yard so they can see for themselves. They're brought up to speed on how the plague works and Rick doesn't waste any time telling these guys that the infection is already inside them all, after keeping it from his friends and family for however many weeks passed between the ends of the first and second seasons. When Rick first shared that, I thought everyone kind of overreacted to the fact that he kept it secret, because what were they going to do with that information -- try harder not to die? But now I realize yes, that's exactly what they would have done, because they have ever since. Idiots.

Anyway, the inmates' leader is impressed enough with the kill -- and keep in mind that so far he's only met these three members of the group -- that he's magnanimously willing to let them have a corner of the yard, probably more for his own protection from the walkers beyond the fence than any other reason -- but Rick's not about to give the place up after taking it and spilling blood for it and, as he's currently doing, glaring and gritting his teeth over it. Weapons are pulled out again, because the leader wants to move back into their old cell block, which is C, which of course is the one the group has taken over. "There are other cell blocks," the one white prisoner suggests and Daryl suggests the inmates could even leave if they like. The leader decides, "If these three pussies can do all this, the least we can do is take out another cell block." This he hopes to do with weapons borrowed from Rick, like there's any chance of him arming people who don't want him around. But Rick makes a counteroffer in which he'll help them de-walker another cell block in exchange for half of what little food is supposedly left in the cafeteria (I assume all the moustache wax will stay with the inmates). The leader agrees to it -- even the part where Rick promises to kill them if they stick their noses out of their own block.

Carol and Lori are fighting to stop Hershel's bleeding with every textile the rest of the group can get their hands on. They're also wishing for antibiotics and sterile gauze, if they can find an infirmary. Carol even brings up Lori's impending delivery, but Lori asks Carol if she looks worried while putting all her efforts into not looking worried. "You look disgusting," Carol snarks back. About time somebody noticed that one of the things these people had to leave behind in one of their countless evacuations was any standard of personal hygiene.

Rick, Daryl and T-Dogg return to the cafeteria with the inmates, who explain how every time they tried to get out, any noise they made would have the walkers slavering outside the door... even though they all seem to be sleeping now. We learn that the largest of the inmates is called "Big Tiny," and the leader's still got a bad attitude as he shows them to the pantry, which is stocked to the rafters with shelves and shelves of goodies, contrary to what they claimed earlier. There's also a walk-in cooler, which Rick unwisely opens against the inmates' warning, only to be nearly flattened by the stench that rolls out. Apparently that's what they were using for a latrine. "Can't wait for my own pot to piss in," says the guy who's been compensating by keeping his moustache nice and pointy.

Maggie leaves Hershel's cell to have a whispered conversation with Glenn where she regrets letting Hershel come along on that last expedition and Glenn says it could have happened to anyone. She's already wondering what they'll do without him. And even if he survives, "He can't even walk. All we do is run." This explains why Maggie reacted to the sight of Hershel's bite as though he were already dead. Maggie accuses Glenn of expecting it as well, having figured out exactly why he's been hanging around, but Glenn says he's just prepared, and then sends Maggie to go check on Beth. Sure, Beth could use a ray of sunshine right now.

Maggie finds Beth already altering Hershel's pants, because God forbid he have to go tripping around in ill-fitting trousers after expiring of blood loss and joining the hordes of the undead. Maggie tries to keep Beth from getting her hopes up, maybe so she'll try to commit suicide again.

T-Dogg and Rick return with the first armloads of imperishables and after getting a status report from Lori on Hershel's condition (bleeding under control, labored breathing, still unconscious, but miraculously no fever), asks Glenn to put Rick's handcuffs on Hershel. Lori then follows up with Rick in private on the prisoners, and his plan and how he only saw one gun among them. "I don't know if it's gonna work," he admits, adding that his only other option is to kill them. "If that's what you think is best," she says. "You say this now," Rick smirks, which kind of cracks me up and is more than fair given her reaction to Rick's news that he killed Shane just like she hectored him to. Lori tells Rick she knows he's not a killer, even if she's a shitty wife and mom. "So do whatever you gotta do to keep this group safe and do it with a clear conscience." Until she changes her mind again.

By M. Giant

Maggie leaves Hershel's cell to have a whispered conversation with Glen where she regrets letting Hershel come along on that last expedition and Glen says it could have happened to anyone. She's already wondering what they'll do without him. And even if he survives, "He can't even walk. All we do is run." This explains why Maggie reacted to the sight of Hershel's bite as though he were already dead. Maggie accuses Glen of expecting it as well, having figured out exactly why he's been hanging around, but Glen says he's just prepared, and then sends Maggie to go check on Beth. Sure, Beth could use a ray of sunshine right now.

T-Dogg and Rick return with the first armloads of imperishables and after getting a status report from Lori on Hershel's condition (bleeding under control, labored breathing, still unconscious, but miraculously no fever), asks Glen to put Rick's handcuffs on Hershel. Lori then follows up with Rick in private on the prisoners, and his plan and how he only saw one gun among them. "I don't know if it's gonna work," he admits, adding that his only other option is to kill them. "If that's what you think is best," she says. "You say this now," Rick smirks, which kind of cracks me up and is more than fair given her reaction to Rick's news that he killed Shane just like she hectored him to. Lori tells Rick she knows he's not a killer, even if she's a shitty wife and mom. "So do whatever you gotta do to keep this group safe and do it with a clear conscience." Until she changes her mind again.

Rick, Daryl and T-Dogg are gearing up with the inmates and their hand tools to prep for their incursion. The leader asks why he can't use his gun and Daryl explains to the n00bs how it's a last resort, due to how the noise attracts the walkers and gets them all worked up. Also, that's a six-shot revolver genius. Rick says they'll go in pairs, with Daryl and T-Dogg on point and himself in the back with the littlest inmate. He warns them to stick together and to go for the brain. It's not yet clear whether any of them actually listen, but it'll become clear later.

By M. Giant

Maggie asks Carol and Glen for a minute alone with her dad, who's now got one wrist handcuffed to the bed frame. Excellent security. This way he won't be able to chase anyone and what are the chances of him using his free hand on anybody within grabbing range? Glen agrees to wait outside and Maggie tearfully promises her unconscious father that she and Beth will take care of each other with Glen, and that Hershel doesn't have to fight any more. Which is good because he sucks at it anyway. And then she rests her head on his chest, the easier for him to grab her by the hair and eat her face when he dies and comes back to life.

The group of eight zombie-hunters makes its way through a darkened corridor when they're met by a couple of shambling walkers in prison coveralls. Daryl signals to hold off until the right moment, but the five inmates rush them and beat them about the body, which of course does the monsters no harm whatsoever. Our heroes hang back and watch, probably figuring these guys need to vent a little. And if they get bit in the process, that solves one of Rick's current problems anyway.

While everyone's standing around watching Hershel, Carl comes in, having been completely forgotten again, which allows him to have wandered entirely out of the cell block. But New Improved Carl has returned with a big old satchel of medical supplies, having found the infirmary on his latest walkabout. I say if he's finally making himself useful he should go for it, but Lori freaks out about Carl having gone by himself. You know, Lori -- here's a parenting tip from me to you: if you know your kid keeps doing something and you never do anything to stop it, eventually it stops being his fault and starts being yours. Carl says it's not a big deal and he even killed two walkers, and she ought to get off his back. Beth yells at Carl not to talk to his mom like that and Lori is about to add more, but Carl runs off in a snit. Nice job, Lori. You broke the upgrade.

The group in the corridors is moving on and Daryl reminds them that it has to be the brain. They seem to be getting the hang of it, even as a steady stream of walkers starts approaching in twos and threes and Rick orders, "No more prison riot crap." It starts getting crowded in there and Little Tiny backs out into the adjoining hallway. And promptly finds himself in a walker-fight of his own, including against one that breaks off its own rotted hand at the wrist to escape its handcuffs before scraping the splintered ends of the exposed bones down Little Tiny's back. Rick comes to the rescue, but then the leader of the inmates comes in and finishes the last one off with three shots from his revolver. Good shootin', Tex, now you're down half your ammo. These guys seriously need to work on their listening skills.

Rick and Daryl follow T-Dogg and the four remaining prisoners through the hall, having a whispered conversation about being ready to deal with the inmates' leader, who is clearly a loose cannon. Kind of makes you wonder how four other guys survived locked up with him that long, doesn't it? They make it to the prison laundry, where there are growls and snarls coming from the other side of the far door. Rick tells the reluctant leader to (reluctantly) open only one of the double doors to the adjoining cell block so they can control the resulting flow. But the doors are jammed and the idiot ends up opening both doors, and walkers flood in while Rick yells, "I said one door, shithead!" In the ensuing melee, the leader gets awfully close to Rick's head with a swing of his weapon, then throws a moving zombie on top of Rick while the latter's still off balance from having to dodge the blow. By the time Daryl loyally takes that one out and helps Rick back up, the fight's over .The leader makes a lame excuse and Rick says, "Yeah, I get it. Shit happens." And then they glare at each other for so long that I don't know why anyone is remotely surprised when Rick buries his machete in the man's head. The littlest inmate makes a threatening move with his baseball bat at Rick, but ends up being pushed over and pursued out of the laundry by him. Daryl and T-Dogg are left with the other two, who are forced onto their knees at weapon-point. Rick ends up chasing the runaway to a small inner courtyard occupied by a half-dozen or more walkers, quickly takes in the scene, and then ducks back inside, sliding the gate shut and leaving him to his fate. Just making more work for himself later. But his conscience doesn't look remotely clear, which means the good news is that he's still not listening to Lori.

Maggie sits alone with Hershel when he stops breathing. Beth runs in and panics, yelling for somebody to do something. Somebody would, but unfortunately Glenn's out in the yard helping Carol with her harvest. So Lori comes in and stupidly tries to give Hershel CPR while Carl watches, after telling Hershel just hours ago that he shouldn't hesitate if she or Shane, Jr. should die during delivery. Sure enough, while she's got his mouth clamped on his, he wraps his free arm around her neck. Nice handcuffing job, Glenn The others pull her free, but Hershel just falls back again, his eyes closing after looking around himself in borderline-human confusion. Carl is left shakily pointing an automatic at Hershel. Jeez, Rick gives Glenn one job...

Rick's back at the laundry and pretty pissed at the two remaining inmates, who he thinks knew all about their leader's plan. The southern gentleman begs for their lives, saying they aren't like the recently dead men. "We ain't the violent kind, they were! Please, I swear to God! I want to live!" Rick turns his gun on the other, who refuses to beg and invites Rick to do what he needs to do.

So Rick pushes them on into D-Block, where each cell is occupied by an executed inmate with his hands zip tied behind his back, lying facedown on the floor. Clearly there was a desperate official response to events in Cell Block D. The new residents whine a bit about the conditions, but Rick says they can take it or leave it. "Sorry about your friends, man," Daryl says, not insincerely, as he follows Rick out. And T-Dogg advises them to take the bodies outside and burn them. That's going to be a big job. And if they do it on a day when they're upwind from C-Block, they're going to have a dangerous, pissed-off neighbor.

Rick returns to the Block C, where Carl tells him, "Hershel stopped breathing. Mom saved him." Glenn backs that up, like he was even there, but I guess without corroboration there's no reason for anybody to believe that Lori could have done something right. Lori adds that there's still no fever, which seems to suggest that Rick's field amputation happened just in time. Rick stands over him and Hershel's mouth starts moving like he's going to say something, but he stays down and out. Nor does he make a sudden grab at any of the people milling foolishly around him. But finally his eyes crack open and blink humanly, although there's no money in the budget for Scott Wilson to have lines this week. Maggie and Beth are overjoyed and Rick uncuffs him, because you can't be too careless. Hershel reaches for Rick's hand, and Rick takes it. They all stand and crouch gathered around him while I wait for Hershel to take a chunk out of someone, anyone. Anyone at all, at this point.

Carol crouches over her dead walker, lifts up its dress, and prepares to go to work with a hunting knife, right there in the hog-chute she dragged it into. A POV shot shows that someone's watching her from the trees outside the prison, but we have no idea who. Or at least we're not supposed to. I guess it just depends on how spoiled you are for this season.

Rick finds Lori in a fenced-off catwalk outside and promises they'll start cleaning tomorrow. "Yeah, we'll give Carl a safe place to... do whatever he does these days," Lori agrees. Be more awesome? Quitcher bitchin', Lori, these zombies aren't running a Montessori school here. Rick lies that he doesn't think she's a bad mother, but doesn't argue when she fishes for a compliment as a wife, or with her point that there's not much they can do about it anyway. "What are we gonna do, hire lawyers and get divorced and split our assets?" Rick at least finds that darkly amusing. "We got food, Hershel's alive. Today was a good day." Rick credits Lori for saving Hershel, which she deflects back to him. "I thought maybe you were coming out here to talk about us," she says lamely. "Maybe there's nothing to talk about any more." Rick puts a hand on her shoulder instead. Yes, don't talk.That's good. But without looking at her, Rick manages to force out the words, "We're awful grateful for what you did," and walks away. Lori is left there smiling as though rather than treating her like an employee he hates and to whom he grudgingly had to give some positive feedback, Rick just told her she's a pretty, pretty princess who deserves cookies.

By M. Giant

Rick returns to the Block C, where Carl tells him, "Hershel stopped breathing. Mom saved him." Glen backs that up, like he was even there, but I guess without corroboration there's no reason for anybody to believe that Lori could have done something right. Lori adds that there's still no fever, which seems to suggest that Rick's field amputation happened just in time. Rick stands over him and Hershel's mouth starts moving like he's going to say something, but he stays down and out. Nor does he make a sudden grab at any of the people milling foolishly around him. But finally his eyes crack open and blink humanly, although there's no money in the budget for Scott Wilson to have lines this week. Maggie and Beth are overjoyed and Rick uncuffs him, because you can't be too careless. Hershel reaches for Rick's hand, and Rick takes it. They all stand and crouch gathered around him while I wait for Hershel to take a chunk out of someone, anyone. Anyone at all, at this point.

By M. Giant

M. Giant is a Minneapolis-based writer with a wife, a son, and a number of cats that seems to have settled at around two. Learn waaaay too much about him at Velcrometer, or just e-mail him at m.giant[at]gmail.com.

Think you've got game? Prove it! Check out Games Without Pity, our new area featuring trivia, puzzle, card, strategy, action and word games -- all free to play and guaranteed to help pass the time until your show starts.