By Angel Cohn
We pick up with our little weary band of idiots, shortly after the CDC explosion. They are leaving Atlanta and heading off to a military base, which Rick tells Morgan about... in detail. Dude, if Morgan's listening, I'm sure he doesn't want to hear your full confession on a daily basis. Anyway, they don't get too far down the road before they run into a bunch of parked cars blocking their way, and naturally Dale's radiator springs a leak.
They all get out and start ransacking the vehicles, even though Lori gets a bit of a conscience about it being a graveyard. And then of course the Walker hoards come after them en masse. Everyone tries to hide out under cars, as quietly as possible, except Andrea who is obliviously playing with her gun inside the RV. A zombie comes in and attacks her, but thankfully Dale is on the roof and throws a screwdriver down to her just in the nick of time.
It looks like poor T-Dog (the only black character left) is going to be the causality as he slices his arm open on a piece of rusty metal. But then, out of nowhere super racist Daryl sneak attacks the Walker and totally kills him to save T-Dog. And then he hides under a dead corpse in order to avoid attention. It's probably wrong that I love Daryl as much as I do.
Then Sophia is the freaking worst listener ever and totally needs a time out. She's hiding under a truck and decides to leave her safe hiding place to go be with her mother, and of course draws the Walkers attention. Instead of, oh, I don't know, waiting for some help that is right behind her, she takes off down the highway embankment and into the woods. Idiot. I know she's only like nine or whatever, but she's really a moron. Compounded by the fact that when Rick finds her, he puts her in a cave and says to stay there, but after he distracts the zombies, she takes off instantly, into the woods and not at all towards the highway like he asked.
Once Rick smashes the brains of a couple walkers with a big ass rock, he finds she's not in her hidey hole so he has to get Shane, Daryl and Glenn to help out. Daryl is an excellent tracker, and finds that instead of heading back to safety she went off in a completely different direction. So Shane and Glenn go back to keep the group busy, while Daryl and Rick take down a Walker. When they realize he's fed recently, they gut him open to find out if its Sophia in his belly. They cut away from all the good chopping bits, and all we get to see is the random entrails… which are not Sophia's remains. Boo!
While Rick and Darryl are hunting, the rest of the folks continue salvaging. Carl snags himself a sweet bag of weapons off of a rotting corpse, so at least both kids aren't useless. Shane and Lori talk while he fixes up a car, and she thinks they should figure out how to communicate, though he plans on running away from the group as soon as he gets a chance. That's the best idea I've heard in ages. Shane on his own and not talking? Love it to pieces. Carol just stands staring in the woods. Andrea gripes that Dale took her gun away, but given that she doesn't even know how to put it together, it's probably a wise idea.
When Rick and Daryl come back without Sophia, Carol starts freaking out. They say they'll go back in the morning, but Carol starts blaming Rick for leaving her alone. Yeah, maybe if you'd taught your kid to listen better this wouldn't be happening.
At first light, they all take some of Carl's weapons and head out on a search party. Carl demands to be allowed to come, and Rick agrees. Andrea and Dale fight about the gun, and the fact that he thinks she's going to commit suicide at any given moment. She blames him for the fact that she's still alive, and he's taken aback by it. Aw, poor Dale, who is left alone with his endless guilt and the injured T-Dog.
After a dead end at a tent, the search party hears bells and heads in that direction. They go into church, and find some religious sorts of Walkers hanging out. Then there's lots of blood spatters in front of a crucifix, which Rick looks remotely guilty about. Carol has some guilty feelings of her own because she prayed for her abusive husband to die, and now she thinks that she's being punished. Andrea catches wind of Shane's escape plan and begs for a ride away from these people. She is also a genius. She and Shane are two of the more irritating characters on the show, so put them in a car and have a zombie herd get them? I think that's brilliant.
Then the group splits up, with Shane, Carl and Rick staying in the vicinity of the church, while the rest of the group treks back to the highway. Rick endlessly babbles about his feelings in the church (after he already endlessly babbled on the walkie-talkie to Morgan just two days ago). He starts begging for a sign, before heading out into the woods. Most of their searching involves Carl trying to take down a deer. But just as he's close to the buck, a shot hits him right into the gut. Not sure that was the sign Rick was looking for, but I totally didn't see that coming. Nice one, Show. I would have rather it had been the annoying little girl who got shot, instead of the mildly tolerable little boy, but shooting a kid in the premiere is fairly commendable. Now if the other child gets eaten by zombies, you might just have my attention for the whole season, even if I have to suffer through awkwardly delivered conversations and Rick's endless monologues.
Previously: Everyone decided to go to Atlanta to escape from the zombies, but it turns out that the CDC was the worst place to be. Thankfully, a nutjob there blew the building up and tried (but failed) to kill the little ragtag group of survivors that we're following.
It's apparently the morning after the big CDC explosion and Rick is back on the walkie-talkie trying to get a message to Morgan. I refuse to weecap the stilted monologue that's being terribly delivered by Rick, as it's all exposition about what happened before and we already know all of that. And these Rick Recaps are likely even annoying to Morgan, who would maybe just like Rick and company to stay in one place so he can catch up (if he's even following him) instead of listening in on Rick's feelings about a group of people who are total strangers to Morgan. Just because the walkie-talkie is a one-way device, doesn't mean that it's a free confessional. And if someone other than Morgan is on the other end, I really feel bad for that person. Oh, and Morgan's kid. Does he have to listen to this inane babble every morning? If anything, it might convince me not to join up with Rick, who can't seem to keep all of his people safe from the zombies anyway.
The destination is Fort Benning, which is over 100 miles outside of Atlanta. While they are packing up, Shane watches Rick and Lori kiss and looks awfully sad. At the end of Rick's speech to Morgan, he tells him to stay off the road and stay safe... and then immediately starts driving on the road with his crew. Also, there are plenty of Walkers in the woods, so it doesn't seem like entirely sound advice.
In the car with Rick, Carl, Sophia and Carol, Lori starts reminiscing about a trip to the Grand Canyon that she and Rick tried to take when Carl was just an infant (because I'm sure a baby would appreciate the scenic vistas). Apparently, young Carl started puking all over the place and they had to turn around in Fort Worth and never made it to the Grand Canyon. But they still remember the trip fondly. Carl says he'd like to see the Grand Canyon (now that he's old enough to appreciate its stunning beauty... though it is probably covered with flesh-eating monsters) and his parents promise him they'll take him. And then awkwardly tell Sophia and Carol that they are part of the family now and can come too. I'm sure they feel just so included.
In the RV, Shane is teaching Andrea how to take apart a gun to clean it. She has a gun that her father gave her before she and her sister took off on their road trip. Daddy wanted his little girls to be protected, but clearly didn't want to take the time to teach her how to care for it or actually use it the right way. What a half-assed gift. Shane doesn't quite get time to put her weapon back together before Dale sees a lot of broken down cars, blocking their route on the highway. My beloved Glenn suggests and alternate route, but Dale says they can't waste fuel (there are a 100 cars in front of you, take their fuel and go the other way!), so they try and navigate through the cars with Darryl on his motorcycle leading the way. Naturally, this causes the radiator on Dale's RV to go kaput.
In the RV, Shane is teaching Andrea how to take apart a gun to clean it. She has a gun that her father gave her before she and her sister took off on their road trip. Daddy wanted his little girls to be protected, but clearly didn't want to take the time to teach her how to care for it or actually use it the right way. What a half-assed gift. Shane doesn't quite get time to put her weapon back together before Dale sees a lot of broken down cars, blocking their route on the highway. My beloved Glennn suggests and alternate route, but Dale says they can't waste fuel (there are a 100 cars in front of you, take their fuel and go the other way!), so they try and navigate through the cars with Darryl on his motorcycle leading the way. Naturally, this causes the radiator on Dale's RV to go kaput.
Everyone immediately gets to looking for parts for the repair, water, fuel and the like. Lori gets all uppity about this being a graveyard and it should be respected, which I get, but I'm doubtful that the trucker behind the wheel of a big rig needs one hundred gallons of water in the afterlife. And the majority of these vehicles are empty, meaning those souls have been turned into Walkers and aren't even there. She'd be the first person I'd "accidentally" leave on the side of the road if given a chance. No one pays her much mind, and keep gathering supplies.
Dale teaches Glennn how to change a radiator hose (yay, for making my favorite character more useful and less expendable). Darryl and T-Dog are quite good with the siphoning of gasoline, like maybe they had some experience. Carol picks up a pretty dress and Lori looks at her like she's Satan for considering taking it. It's not like she's removing it from the corpse in the front seat. God, Lori, don't be so judgmental when you are being chased by zombies! If the abused wife would like to wear a freaking dress, let her. Lori then reminds Carl to stay where she can see him, and Carol half-assedly reminds Sophia of the same thing. Sure Carol's had a rough life, but she's not what you'd call a strong parent.
Andrea can't be bothered to contribute to society in any way, so she goes back in the RV and tries to put her gun back together. Outside, Shane finds a truck filled to the hilt with giant bottles of spring water. He pops one open and starts taking an impromptu shower. Dale, who is spying from the roof of his RV, sees a Walker heading their way. He signals Rick, who is about ready to take out the sole Walker woman, when tons more come out of nowhere. There is one extra in a blue shirt, who doesn't do a good job with the lumbering walk of the zombie -- he just seems to be walking. Dude, if the makeup people went through all that trouble to make you look convincing for five seconds of screen time, the least you can do is stagger properly. Anyway, Rick runs around and gets everyone to hide under vehicles... because somehow the zombies can only sense them if they are moving? I thought for sure last season that they could smell people as well. Wasn't that the point of Glennn being covered in zombie guts? Or how did the Walkers know to go up to the roof of the department store?
Andrea realizes a minute too late that the zombies are strolling on by her and tries to hide, while Lori has to cover Carol's mouth to keep her from screaming for her daughter who is tucked under a car two vehicles away. T-Dog doesn't need anyone to cover his mouth, even though he rips his arm to shreds on a jagged piece of metal, which looks insanely painful. A Walker heads into the RV and starts looking around for Andrea, who is hiding in the bathroom. Now how did that Walker know to go in the RV if he didn't somehow sense or smell her? None of the other Walkers pay any mind to the vehicles. This Walker's rotting face is pretty spectacular. He seems to wander off, until Andrea makes some noise. And then he heads back towards her. T-Dog is bleeding profusely and trying to find a hiding spot. Dale, who is up above Andrea on the roof of his RV, tosses her a screwdriver. T-Dog is nearly zombie bait, when Darryl creeps up out of nowhere and kills the Walker but good. Andrea stabs the Walker in the eye with a screwdriver, repeatedly. Too bad -- that zombie did some of the best acting on the show this week. Darryl doesn't have time to hide from the Walkers again, so he throws a corpse on top of himself and T-Dog until they pass. I'm so proud of super-racist Darryl for saving a black guy. This is major progress. His brother would be so... disappointed.
When the zombies have barely gone past (and are still close enough to turn around at any noise or sudden movement) people start coming out of their hiding spots. First is Sophia, who immediately gets nearly grabbed by a zombie. Several Walkers are still trailing behind, but none of the others (who can't be more than 100 yards ahead) bother turning around at the commotion. To escape the three zombies, Sophia heads into the woods. Because that's such an excellent plan. Someone needs to teach this kid some survival skills. She keeps running, until Rick grabs her. She tries to grab his gun to shoot them, but he stops her, saying it will draw attention of more Walkers. So he picks her up and starts hightailing it out of there. When he finds a puddle that has a cave with some tree roots, he gives Sophia explicit instructions to hide in the hole until he returns. He says if he doesn't come back, then she should return to the group and gives her very clear directions on how to do that. He draws the zombies away from the little girl in order to take them down one at a time.
Instead of waiting for Rick to get back, Sophia (who has some weird little doll in her hand, which will show up at some point caked in mud... I'm guessing) heads off immediately after he leaves. He dispatches of the zombies pretty quickly with the help of a giant rock. It's great, but we really don't get to see too much of the head trauma.
Rick is back at the spot where he left Sophia and he's got Shane, Darryl and Glennn with him. He tells them exactly what he told Sophia, and Shane says that she was scared and didn't process what he said. Shane, don't defend her idiocy. At least Sophia started out in the right direction, but she veered off for no apparent reason (as there are no Walker footprints around). Thankfully, Darryl is an excellent tracker and can spot all of this without any problem at all. Rick decides that he and Darryl will follow her tracks, while Glennn and Shane return to the group and try and keep them calm by giving them chores.
The chores include moving vehicles out of the road so they can turn around to the bypass that Glennn found... which they should have taken in the first place. And then we wouldn't have been in this fine mess. Carol wants to know why everyone isn't looking for her dumb child (because it would be better for everyone to get lost in the woods?), but Shane assures her that Rick and Darryl are searching, and Lori says they won't leave without Sophia. That's kind of a big promise, for a kid that might be dead in the woods. Or kidnapped by a witch and locked in her gingerbread house. Or trapped in some Silence of the Lambs-type situation putting lotion in the basket. There are probably some skeevy people hiding out in the woods, and serial killers would probably have the easiest time surviving in this post-apocalyptic scenario, is all I'm saying. Andrea calls the zombies that passed a herd, which makes sense... and I hate giving Andrea credit for anything.
Back in the woods, Rick can't find Sophia's tracks, but Darryl is able to spot faint footprints. That is why he's awesome (and my second favorite character after Glennn) and Rick is lame. At the cars, Carl rips a bag of weapons out of the grip of a dead body, which is the best thing he's done in... ever. Of course Lori won't let him play with the hatchet. Shane ignores him, and just says to bring the stuff to Dale for safekeeping. Carl's used to having Shane as a friend/father figure, and is visibly hurt by the fact that he's being dismissive now. Lori asks Shane what the hell is up and doesn't believe that he's giving her the cold shoulder. Her delivery here is particularly terrible. Shane reminds her that she wanted him to stay away from her and her kid, and he's just abiding by her wishes. He says that the CDC was a mistake, and that she's made mistakes too. He tells her he's prepping a car to leave as soon as he can. "Leavin'?" She asks in a Southern accent that wasn't there before. And he turns on the motor and they hear a radio broadcast telling them help is on the way, but it clearly is old and just playing on a loop.
Darryl and Rick come across a Walker in the woods. Rick distracts him, while Darryl shoots an arrow through his brain. Rick notices that he's just fed, and pulls a piece of meat out of his teeth. He has either just fed, or competed in some grody challenge on Survivor.. The only way to know if this zombie has feasted on little Sophia is to gut the zombie open and look at his stomach contents. A thing which Darryl does with great ease. My only complaint is that it is shot so we only see Darryl's face chopping into the undead dude, and not the actual good gore that I want from a show like this. Though we do get to see Rick and Darryl pull the skull of some woodland creature from the beastie's belly.
Andrea attacks Dale for refusing to return her gun. Shane tries to keep the peace, but Dale insists he's not comfortable with it. Shane actually agrees with Dale, because he doesn't want guns flying around camp with people who don't know how to use it. Their fight is cut short when Rick and Darryl return without Sophia. It's sunset and they won't be productive in the dark. Do they even own flashlights? How about the chores involve finding some staples like that? Carol's about ready to run off in the woods after her daughter -- who by the way is 12 and thus old enough to know better -- but they say they'll start up again at first light. She spots blood on Darryl and he says it's from a Walker, and they kindly inform the group of their recent zombie gutting extravaganza. Carol starts blaming Rick for leaving Sophia in the woods in a hidey hole, instead of blaming her daughter for not listening to instructions. She starts crying in a really unconvincing manner. And the women comfort her while the men walk away so they don't have to deal with feelings.
The morning, Carl's arsenal gets divvyed up, and the kid doesn't even get one. Rude. Andrea is back to griping about not getting her gun, even though it's been established that shooting guns would attract more Walkers and Shane says you could accidentally be trigger happy and shoot an innocent human. Gee, that's not the most obvious foreshadowing in the world or anything. They head out along the creek, leaving Dale and T-Dog with Carl. Carl insists on going, and Rick finally relents saying it is fine as long as Carl stays in his sight. Andrea begs for her gun again from Dale, and then lays into him real good, blaming him for the fact that she's still alive. She thinks, and maybe there's some truth to it, that he won't give her back the weapon because he thinks she might off herself at the first opportunity. She doesn't deny her suicidal tendencies, just says that Dale took her choice away when she had her perfect death all nice and planned out and he went and ruined it by making her feel guilty. She only left the CDC pre-explosion because she didn't want Dale to die, not because he convinced her to stay alive. Blah, blah, blah. He should have let her die. But he still doesn't give her the gun, and she has to trudge off in the woods anyway.
Out in the woods, Carl happily shows off his small but sharp ax to Shane and Shane tells him to shut up and blows him off. Carl's poor tiny feelings get hurt. Not long into the woods, the group spots a tent. They hope Sophia is inside, so Darryl goes in, after Carol calling out quietly doesn't get any results. It's not Sophia, just a rotting corpse who has been there a while. Said corpse does have a gun, which Darryl pockets. Then there are some church bells ringing. They presume that Sophia is the one ringing them, which would be a terrible plan as noises would only attract more Walkers. Has this child learned NOTHING?
T-Dog wants to know why Dale's not still fixing the radiator, and Dale says it's been fixed, but he didn't want people to know it was done and hit the bricks leaving Sophia behind. They share a quiet moment of acknowledgement about their dire straits.
They find the church, but Shane says it's the wrong church because it doesn't have a steeple with a bell tower in it. Rick goes headfirst into the church anyway, because he never listens to anyone else's opinions when he thinks that he's right. He's sort of like Derek Shepherd that way. There are some lovely Walkers sitting in the pews and praising the lord, and they turn to spot the fresh meat with glee. Perhaps their prayers have been answered. "Dear Lord, we know we are dead and unable to speak, but please bring us some morons to snack on. Amen." Unfortunately they are pretty quickly dispensed with, as the fellas each take a zombie and start slicing and dicing. There's a great image of Rick taking down a zombie (said zombie, who expressed more with his face than Lori has the entire episode) in front of the giant crucifix. Again, my major complaint is that we see a lot of blood spatter, but the actual gore is right below our sightline. Boo. Give me better gore to make up for the stilted dialogue and largely terrible acting. Darryl asks "JC" if he's taking requests, while Rick starts screaming for Sophia. Way to draw more attention to yourself. The bells start ringing again, but it turns out that it's a speaker and an automated little device on the outside of the building. Shane was right. Pains me to say it.
Carol heads back inside to get her praying on. Andrea sits by the side of the building unnoticed, which gives her the perfect listening spot for the conversation/fight between Lori and Shane about him leaving. Third wheel, blah blah blah. Not exactly a new fight. After Lori splits, Andrea stares longingly after Shane.
Carol is back inside, praying/talking to God/Lori/anyone that will listen about how she thinks she's being punished for wishing her abusive husband dead. And she hopes her daughter will live, and she asks for mercy for her child and God can punish her however he wants. I was just praying for this plodding scene to be over.
Andrea chases Shane through the cemetery pleading for him to take her when he splits. He thinks she's hitting on him -- because of course he does --and she says that she needs to get away from these people. I couldn't agree more. I can't stand Shane (though I can tolerate him when he's not talking) and Andrea seems like dead weight. Send the two of them far, far away. Have them go off to find Zombieland or whatever. Maybe they'll see Bill Murray in their travels. They could have their own little road trip spin-off where they can fight and bicker in a car and we can forget they exist. Perfect.
After Andrea pouts off, Shane wants to head back, searching the other side of the creek bed on the way to their vehicles, but Rick insists that Sophia could be close to the church. He's happy to put the entire group in danger in order to assuage his guilty feelings. Shane takes charge and sends everyone else back to the cars, with Darryl leading them. He and Rick are going to keep looking in this area before catching up with them. Darryl seems surprised, and frankly, it's kind of a terrible plan. With no way to communicate, if Darryl's group finds Sophia, how would Rick and Shane ever know? They could be searching for hours aimlessly. And likewise, if Rick and Shane end up getting killed by Walkers (maybe that's just my wishful thinking) who would ever find them? They'd just be sending out search party after search party and then everyone would wind up dead. Actually, that's not a bad idea. So long as Darryl and Glennn survive (and maybe Dale and T-Dog could live) I'm OK with that. And then Darryl and Glennn (who has proven useful on supply runs and rescue missions) could go find Merle. I miss angry racist Merle. He added so much to this show. Perhaps it was because he was actually played by a good actor.
OK. I've totally digressed, it happens when I start wondering about Merle's whereabouts. And logistics of this show in general. So the team is splitting up, and Carl's going to stay with his two daddies' and Lori hugs him and says he's so grown up now. Andrea gives Shane a stinkface. Yeah, that totally means she's into you, Shane. Rick tries to give Lori his gun (which does not go unnoticed by pissed off Andrea), but she doesn't want him to be unarmed. Darryl whips out the weapon he stashed earlier and hands it to Lori, solving everyone's problems (as he does), except for Andrea's... since she's still got that major stick up her butt .
Rick prays inside the church. He asks for a sign. I'm not recapping this BS because Rick's monologues are excruciatingly painful. There is some nice mirror imagery of Jesus and Rick's head hung the same way, and sweat dripping off of Rick's brow as blood drips off of Jesus. That doesn't make up for all the whiny talk coming out of his mouth. Don't these people know how to pray quietly? When he leaves the altar, Shane asks if he got what he needed, and Rick says they'll find out.
The other troop is trudging back towards their base, without any sign of Sophia. Carol complains about the plan. Andrea bitches about Lori having the gun, so Lori gives it to her. She's tired of all of the looks she's getting. She calls Carol out for blaming Rick for Sophia's disappearance, even though Rick ran off into the woods without a thought to save the girl in the first place. This might be a good speech, if it were delivered by an actress who had more than one facial expression. When she tries to play angry, she just looks constipated. She's like Mr. Potato Head in Toy Story 2 with his "angry eyes", except with less range. Still, Andrea gives back the gun.
Rick and Shane hear a rustle in the woods, they draw their weapons, before realizing it's a lovely buck. They are planning on killing the deer, but decide to let Carl take a whack at it with his little hatchet. He does so with a very, very slow approach. I'm all for these two dads teaching the kid to hunt, but did they forget they are on a search and rescue mission? And they are miles from their camp? How are they going to drag a giant deer through the woods and still look for Sophia? Carl and the deer have a bit of a standoff, while Carl tries not to scare the animal off. Just as he's about to attack, a bullet comes out of nowhere and rips through the deer and into Carl's stomach. Fade to black.
That was a pretty good twist, but can a bullet really go through an entire giant animal and then hit a kid with that kind of force? And if Rick had guilt before, how guilty is he going to be now that his own son got shot because he let him hunt in the woods. Guessing that wasn't exactly the sign he was hoping for from God. And is Lori going to kill both Shane and Rick (I'd support that!)? And who the hell is shooting in the woods. God, I hope it's a creepy old serial killer. The one that I imagine has Sophia locked down in a well somewhere. Or tied up in a basement. And I hope that he has a lot of muzzles! Also, now how are Rick and Shane going to get word to Lori and the rest of the group that Carl has been shot. This would never have happened if they all stayed together. Poor planning, Shane. Though I can't say I'm surprised by that.
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