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Wow. Seems unfair that Keckler had to slog through those last two episodes and I come back to this jewel. Okay, remember Wallace's coach? And how nice he was when Wallace needed some time off from basketball to study? Well, he's not so nice to his son, although his sour mood does come in the wake of a twenty-point drubbing. Which is especially rough, given that he soon turns up dead on the PCH. That's no way to leave a legacy. Lamb suspects the son, Josh, who discovered his dad's cooling and gunshot-ridden corpse. Meanwhile, Logan's in trouble with both his Economics professor and the Neptune Grand staff due to his deep Veronica-related depression. Dick does his best to snap Logan out of it, even going so far as to fix him up with Little Girl God from Joan Of Arcadia. When Dick and LGG's sister run off to Vegas together (and get MARRIED, no lie), Logan's forced to babysit, and LGG gives him advice and helps him out in a way that's happily not beyond her years, and which has the bonus of leading to the most AWESOME elevator ride ever. What's totally not awesome is Logan yelling at Little Girl God, but he makes it up to her with ice cream, and I don't know an eleven-year-old on whom that trick wouldn't work. In the end, Logan gets his groove back, or something. Keith tells Mindy O'Dell that he wants off the murder case, since he believes that she and Landry aren't being honest. His efforts to trap her in a lie fail, however, so he stays on. However, Keith learns that the eggshell-marked Volvo was checked out soon before the murder, and returned soon after. In other news, Veronica did apply for that FBI internship, and it turns out Dean Ed wrote her a lovely recommendation, which spurs Veronica and Keith to redouble their efforts in solving the murder. When Veronica discovers that Mindy and Landry had company (Dean Ed, although they don't know that yet) on the night of the murder, Keith tells Mindy in no uncertain terms that he's going to get to the bottom of her lies. Back in A-plot Land, Josh points Keith in the direction of that mysterious rich alumnus who forced Dean Ed to reinstate the Greek system. His name is Mel Stoltz, and he's a nasty piece of work who's happy to be rid of the coach one way or the other. Veronica pursues her own angle by getting Weevil to check in with the PCHers. Their leader is now Arturo, that little kid who zapped Corny last year, and who denies involvement in the coach's murder. Meanwhile, Wallace's dick friend Mason tells Lamb that he saw Josh at the scene of the crime, and he's quickly arrested, but not before Veronica discovers some suspicious tire tracks at the scene of the crime. Also, Josh informs Veronica -- who takes quite the shine to him as the episode goes on -- that Mason, who'd recently lost his starting position, owns a gun. Veronica interrogates Mason and realizes that he didn't see Josh's face at the scene of the crime. In the end, Veronica visits Josh in jail and slips him something, and before you even realize it's 9:59, we're in a cliffhanger, as Lamb enters Landry's classroom and arrests Veronica for aiding and abetting Josh's escape. DUN! Want more? The full recap starts right below!
Many thanks to Keckler for covering for me these last two weeks. I owe her a big froofy cocktail or two.
Wallace's basketball coach, so nice the last time we saw him, is chewing out his players. He rounds on a tall skinny kid, "Josh," asking if he's going to pull his head out of his ass. It turns out that Josh is the coach's son, and he doesn't appreciate being told to "man up" in front of his teammates. He quits the team and storms out, ignoring the assistant coach's efforts to talk him down. After a moment to take that in, the coach gathers his team around. Wallace is watching Josh leave, though, so the coach tells him to look alive. Given what's to come: physician, heal thyself.
Cut to Wallace eating with Veronica, who tells him to look on the bright side. Wallace incredulously asks what the bright side of a twenty-point loss could be, especially given that the "All-Conference small forward" quit the team. Veronica gamely (heh) points out that Wallace did get to play a lot of minutes for a guy who recently went on sabbatical. Wallace points out that he took his dick friend Mason's starting position, and that Mason hasn't been speaking to him as a result. I have to say that neither of those occurrences is making Veronica's side seem any less bright. In fact, I should grab some shades so I can stop squinting. Wallace expresses doubt as to whether he's really better than Mason, and then, as Veronica gets up to go, asks her how she's doing with the Logan situation. Veronica gives a forced smile and says that she was trying not to think about it, "so thanks for bringing it up." That sounds bad on paper, but from her delivery and the fact that Wallace looks only very mildly chastened, I don't think she meant to be harsh there. Of course, it's hard to leave the bright side on such short notice.
Chez Mars. Veronica, dressed and ready to go, emerges from her bedroom and smiles upon seeing food waiting for her. She grabs a pastry and starts chewing, but then notices a nearby note. She grabs it, and we get a Keith VO: "If you've eaten any of this breakfast, you now owe me. Invoices have to go out today. See you at the office!" Hee. Veronica stopping mid-chew in chagrin is what sells it. She crumples up the note and muses that she always falls for this trick, and then she grabs some more food and heads out the door. That's right -- at least get your money's worth. We tried to do that at Denny's in college, but even at their prices, it wasn't easy.
Dick is strolling down a hallway at school when a professor greets him by name and asks if he thinks Logan might be joining them today. Dick thinks not: "When they remove a grapefruit-size tumor, they really recommend bed rest." Heh. The teacher tells him that one more absence will mean an automatic failure. You may be shocked to learn that the specter of Logan's academic failure doesn't really faze Dick. In fact, I probably should have told you to sit down before I said that.
Outside Logan's room, some hoity-toity manager-type dude is telling Logan that he'll be happy to give him his hamburger, but he just want to collect some of the Grand's trays. As the elevator door opens and Dick emerges, from inside the room, Logan yells at them to leave the food and go. Whether or not you think Logan being made to hang out with an eleven-year-old is a contrivance, you have to admit that his current behavior makes it appropriate company. Jeff Ratner, apparently not fired from Veronica's frame-up, is with the hoity-toity dude, and sighs that they're out of salt and pepper shakers. The manager relays that information, well aware of and unhappy with how ridiculous he sounds. Of course, he could have played along and pretended to leave, and then sprung out all "Aha!" when Logan answered the door. Come on, can't you see him running around grabbing the dirty dishes as Logan chases him to wacky music? You people have no imagination. Anyway, Dick has had enough of this, tells the staff he'll handle the problem, calls to Logan that he's coming in and bringing the food, and does just that. Of course, he grabs a fry first, and I can't say I have all that much in common with Dick, but I would have done the same thing.
When Dick's through the door, we pan around the room to see that there is, in fact, quite the mess inside. The good news is that Logan can pay his rent for a month just by cashing in all the recyclables littering the room. Dick asks Logan, who's sitting forlornly on the couch, if he heard about the fire in Veronica's neighborhood: "Somebody's meth lab blew up or something. Bet you could see it from the balcony." Logan actually buys this, showing just how far off his game he is, and he follows Dick out onto the terrace. Once Dick's wheeled out the cart, though, he smoothly goes back out the door and locks Logan out. Hee. Dick opens the front door and is like, "I'm gonna take a shower. You guys go to town." The guys enter, take a look around, and turn to each other, all, "We're gonna need a bigger boat." And it's not like the job's going to go any faster with Logan staring at them the whole time like a kicked, stubbly puppy.
Sometime later, the custodial staff is working away as a freshly-showered Dick comes out onto the balcony and asks, "You're not still looking for the fire, right?" You know his line's awesome when it doesn't matter whether he's serious or joking. Dick goes on to relay the message from their professor: "Sad state of affairs when I'm the academic on the balcony." When did Dick develop a capacity for understatement? In an effort to take the word "segue" out of the dictionary, he tells Logan that he met a girl a couple of weeks ago at a party, and sings that she's "Haaaaahhhhhhht! Like, volcanic hot. Like, I might have to use an oven mitt to feel her up." Hee. And aw, because Dick is clearly very proud of that line, and even Nish would have given it a more enthusiastic reaction. Dick goes on to say that the girl is coming over that night, and she's bringing her sister, and a hot sister is the recommended treatment "for pathetic sad-sackery." Logan denies interest, but Dick pushes the swim team's beach party: "You can wear your t-shirt that says 'I'd rather be home crying!'" Hee. Dick leaves Logan staring out into space.
Mars Investigations. Veronica busts into Keith's office mid-babble, which is a habit of which you'd think she might be cured. Anyway, Josh and his mom, along with Cliff (whee!) are in with Keith, and Keith seriously tells her that "Coach Barry" was found murdered near the PCH. Veronica gapes in shock as Keith goes on that Lamb suspects Josh, and Josh and his mom are asking them to find the real killer. I don't know, Josh, you might be screwed here. After all, quitters never win. Credits.
Back at the same tableau, Josh tells Keith what he claims to have told Lamb, which is that, after losses, his dad would go to this little turnout by the PCH that overlooks the ocean. Sometime after he quit, knowing he'd find his dad there, Josh went out to talk to him. When he got there, he thought at first that his dad was already gone, since his car wasn't there. However, he quickly noticed his dad lying nearby, rushed over, and found him dead of a gunshot wound. He couldn't get a cell-phone signal there, and he panicked, thinking about his mom and his brother Bobby, so he just went home to break the news to them. His mom pipes up to say that Josh seemed like he was in shock, and had blood all over his shirt, so she told him to take a shower so that Bobby wouldn't see him like that. Jeez, Mrs. Coach, how's he going to man up if you keep coddling him like that? Keith asks why Lamb suspected Josh, and Cliff pipes up to say that someone must have found "Tom's" body and called it in, because after Josh was done with his shower, Lamb arrived. He found the bloody clothes and Tom's NIT championship ring. Keith asks about the ring, and Josh claims that, after he quit, he took a shower, and when he went to his locker, the ring was in there. He thought it was an olive branch from his dad, which is why he went out to the PCH to find him. I should point out that it seems awfully unlikely, if Josh's story is true, that someone found the body after he did. That person would have had to happen upon it (no likely feat, with no car there to attract attention), get to an area with cellular service, and call it in. Plus, if the call simply told of the location of the body, wouldn't normal procedure be for Lamb to go to the scene of the crime, rather than to the Barry house? Even at this early point and without Mason's later testimony, it sounds like either Josh is being specifically framed, which fits with the ring's mysteriously showing up in his locker, or he's lying about at least some of his story, whether he's the killer or not. Anyway, Mom thinks the PCHers clearly carjacked and killed her husband, but Josh thinks a "Mel Stoltz" hated his dad and might be responsible. I'll save a little time and tell you that Stoltz is the alumnus who leaned on Dean Ed to restore the Greek system. Keith assures them that they'll look into the case: "And don't worry about the sheriff. He has a long and proud history of being wrong." Well, Keith, that may be, but you'll forgive me for switching sports here if I point out that your family batting average hasn't been all that hot lately either.
Soon after, Cliff shuts the door behind the bereaved widow and her son, and tells Keith that Lamb is pretty serious about going after Josh. Keith asks Cliff if he believes the wife's story. Cliff says he does, but adds, "I've believed many things that turned out to be lies." That would make a good title for Cliff's memoirs, and if that time that woman handcuffed him to the bed is indicative of what he's talking about, he might have a bestseller on his hands. Keith asks whether Bobby can back up the story, but Cliff informs him that Bobby is severely autistic. Veronica has just been silent and looked confused this entire scene. I guess that answers the question of whether she still thinks about Duncan.
Dick is cleaning up the living room and bitching at Logan for the mess as he tosses a sock onto Logan's head: "You're lucky you're rich. This would be completely disgusting." Somehow, I think Dick's been on the receiving end of that very remark, albeit probably in a different context. Anyway, there's a knock at the door, and Dick goes to answer it. Logan does sit up with some degree of expectancy, so his depression perhaps isn't quite enough to overcome his libido. He is in college, after all. However, it turns out that while "Melinda," Dick's date, is certainly quite hot, her sister, "Heather," is only eleven. Dick introduces them, and then gives a hilarious surreptitious "Whoops! I didn't know!" hand gesture. Hee. Logan snarks, "Which one's yours?" Don't even joke.
Veronica finds Weevil somewhere and tells him she's interested in talking to the current leader of the PCHers. Weevil gets all het up about how he's on the straight and narrow. Madison's car would probably object if it weren't just happy not to be a hundredth of its current size. Veronica says that it's official business, and that she can get him a few hundred bucks. He looks at her with a combination of skepticism, resignation, and large, large zits. (Hey, I realize he may be having a rough go of it with the steroids or whatever. But that last shot of him could have been lit somewhat...less.)
Heather is surveying the room as Melinda irritatingly whines that she wants to go to the beach party "so baaaaad." If I were you, Logan, I'd be pretty happy with your lot, especially since Heather is being played by Juliette Goglia, best known for her role as Little Girl God on Joan Of Arcadia. Even though she's ditched the antennae, you should know I have no defense against this actress, although, in fairness, I think a large majority of viewers of that show share that weakness. My point is, Logan's getting the better deal here, whether he knows it yet or not. Dick, who's sitting on the couch with Melinda HOLDING HANDS, asks Logan if maybe he could keep an eye on... "No," Logan responds. Heh. Heather, however, pipes up that she doesn't need a babysitter -- she can just watch TV. Dick doesn't need any more than that, as he slings Melinda over his back and fireman-carries her out as she squeals at Heather to be good. I can see why Dick likes her. She's just toe-riffic. Logan says that he's going to bed, and gives Heather the TV remote with an admonition to stay out of the porn. Heather: "Gross." Too bad -- I would have at least liked to see the titles they have queued up. In a suite shared by Logan and Dick, I'd think you'd find a market for girls, guys, and probably certain members of the animal kingdom gone wild.
A large sign on the wall tells us that we're at "Stoltz Industries." Keith, sitting on a couch in the waiting area, looks at his watch, and then gets up and tells the nearby receptionist that he's been waiting for an hour. She's not all that helpful, and when Keith hears loud chuckling coming from an office, he drops the pleasantries and heads inside over the receptionist's objections. I've been tempted to do that at the doctor's office, but I always worried that that might have an effect on the quality of care given. When a doctor makes you wait an hour and a half and doesn't take your insurance, your faith in his commitment to the Hippocratic Oath is going to be somewhat compromised. Anyway, Stoltz has an earpiece in his ear, but is practicing putting at the same time. Well, it does seem logical that a CEO would be good at multitasking. Keith barges in and asks if he wanted the coach dead, and asks where he was at the time of his murder. Stoltz gets off his call (good thinking, there) and says that Barry was a loser: it had been six years since Hearst's last conference title. He adds that he would have been happy to see him fired, but that "dead does the trick just as well." You know, for a guy who was so bent out of shape when fraternities were banned on campus, he doesn't seem to place too much stock in the concept of brotherhood. He adds that he was on a private company plane coming back from Seattle at the time of the murder. Keith says he'll check into that. Stoltz: "You do that."
After a quick, clichéd overhead spinny shot of Logan lying awake in bed in the morning, he gets up to find Heather watching TV. He notes that she's still there, and she replies, "Either that, or you're dreaming." Well, you knew Little Girl God would have a touch of the philosophical in her. Logan barges into Dick's room, which seems like a contrivance, because seriously, if you didn't know for sure that he and his woman weren't there, would you really risk your retinas so cavalierly? But the bed is in fact empty, and Heather calls in that they didn't come home. Right on cue, Logan's cell rings, and, seeing who's calling, he both grumpily and urgently asks where Dick is. Dick says that he and Melinda took a road trip, and that he thinks he's in love. Logan's unmoved, which goes to show that he has a pretty strong stomach. Dick, however, points out that Logan slept with Dick's only long-term girlfriend, and since Heather's parents are out of town, the least Logan can do is look after her. Logan agrees, but grits that Dick had better be back by that night. When he's off the phone, Heather tells Logan that she got him some eggs, but that they're probably cold by now. I know kids get up early when cartoons are involved, but how late did Logan stay in bed? You'd think with all the bottles littering the suite, he at least would have had to go to the bathroom. With me all the way, Heather asks if all Logan does is sleep. Logan looks at her, but we cut away before he has the chance to tell her he also mopes a lot.
Weevil and Veronica are awaiting the PCHers at some industrial setting. Weevil notes that they're uncharacteristically late, but Veronica says part of her hopes they don't show, because if they do, they're probably innocent, which wouldn't be so great for Josh. Aw. Veronica likes her skinny white guys, to which...well, one of her boyfriends will attest. Anyway, right on cue, the PCHers pull up. Well, on the plus side, if Josh gets hauled off to jail, Veronica can tell him whom to go to for the best GHB.
When we return, the PCHers approach as Veronica remarks to Weevil that she's interested to see who replaced him at the top of the food chain. Of course, anyone who watched the show last season would know that that's Hector, but let's ignore that and focus on the fact that the current leader is actually Arturo, that kid who was tasering and robbing pizza boys last year. Arturo's none too thrilled that Weevil got him there just to see Veronica, especially when Veronica snarks to Weevil: "You gave me the impression running the gang was a man's job." Well, unlike last year, Arturo seems to have broken that pesky 5'6" barrier. He's getting there! Veronica tells Arturo that a lot of people think the PCHers are responsible for the coach's death, and asks why she should believe otherwise. Seems like she's keeping an open mind and gathering evidence without jumping to conclusions. You know, Veronica, it's really hard to be invested in the show if you're going to conduct yourself in a manner that's so out of character. Arturo replies that the papers reported that the coach was driving a piece-of-crap station wagon (a '96 Roadster), and that they'd hardly carjack someone over eight hundred bucks or so. Also, he says that guns aren't their style -- they leave a nail board on the road, the mark gets a flat, and when he's finished changing the tire, they drive up. If they're doing this in an area with no cell signals, thus making it impossible for anyone to call Triple-A, Arturo's a lot smarter than I would have guessed. Perhaps that's why Weevil can't stop a little "They grow up so fast" expression from crossing his face. Anyway, Arturo says that their marks rarely even put up a fight, but just hand the keys over. He starts to leave, but turns back to ask them to find the real culprit: "This dead coast is killin' my business." Heh, and scene.
Heather wanders into Logan's bedroom and, seeing him lying forlornly on the bed, asks him if he's sick. Upon hearing a negative, she asks him if he wants her to put highlights in his hair, but that too gets a negative. Don't feel bad, hon. I'm pretty sure Logan could frost his tips with one hand while making coffee with the other, so your help really isn't necessary. Heather gets the hit from 0 and 2, however, when she asks Logan if he can show her how to hook up his GameCube.
Cut to the two of them playing some game. (Don't email me. ["I think it was Mario Kart." -- Wing Chun]) Even Logan can't help being into it: "And if you're Daisy or Peach, you can use the heart to protect you." Hee. Heather enthuses that Logan's life is so cool, and after she exposits that she and her family are only in Neptune on vacation, they get into a cute argument over the quality of local ice-cream parlors, but even the cute of Little Girl God isn't enough to keep Logan in a good mood for more than five seconds, so he gets all mopey again, and Heather clues in that he's sad about a girl. Changing tacks, she asks if he has any extra-small clothes around: "I'm starting to smell like you." Logan turns and stares at her. Hey, it's tough when an eleven-year-old steals your scene. Look on the bright side -- she's not as creepy-looking as Dakota Fanning.
Veronica arrives at Josh's house and asks if he can show her the spot where he found his dad's body. God, Veronica, enough with the pussyfooting around. Josh says that the cops already checked the scene, but she tells him that they didn't know what they were looking for. Outside, Josh tells her how weird it is that his father is gone, and ascertains that Veronica is very close with her dad. Geez, Josh, I'm starting to understand your dad's opinion of your skills, because way to leave her open. Sure enough, Veronica turns the question around. Josh: "It's funny. He was my best friend and my worst enemy." Hilarious! Let me write that one down!
Lamb is in his office on the computer when Sacks comes in and tells him that there's a kid there who claims to have seen something on the cliff the other night. Lamb gets up in a hurry. Geez, Lamb, I know this is important, but you could at least say goodbye to the rest of the people in the "Sheriffs Have The Biggest Nightsticks" chatroom. As he enters the main area, you can see a nameplate in the foreground that tells us that Inga's surname is "Olofson," for the trivia-minded among you. Anyway, Lamb comes out to discover that the alleged witness is Mason...
...and then they're in an interrogation room, wherein Mason is telling Lamb that after the game, he was heading down the PCH to San Diego to see his girlfriend. He saw the coach's car, and then the coach, who was arguing with someone. Lamb asks who it was, and Mason admits that it went by fast, but that he got a good look, and it was Josh. The DUN DUN DUN music suggests that this is a dark development. Fine, soundtrack, I won't light any sparklers or skip around my living room while squealing. You never let me have any fun.
Out on the cliff, Veronica notes that there are no signs of motorcycle tracks. She then realizes that there are car tracks leading right to the edge of the cliff: "It looks like a car went off right here." Beaver Casablancas, has someone been naughty down in hell? Josh approaches Veronica, and I'm with the forum posters who thought for just a moment, even though it's pretty illogical, that Josh might try to push her. Good combination of camera angles and music here. But they simply stand, pondering the new evidence...
...and later, it's dark as Veronica is driving Josh home. Josh says he doesn't get why carjackers would push the car into the ocean. You'd better work on those basketball skills, dude, because if you're going to get into a good college, it's not going to be on your razor-sharp intellect. Veronica notices that Lamb is waiting in front of Josh's house, and Veronica wonders what's up. The kids hop out, and Veronica sunnily greets Lamb: "Howdy, sheriff! A kitten get stuck up in a tree?" I'm pretty sure Sacks gets those assignments, Veronica. Lamb, patiently enough, tells her that now's not the time, and then arrests Josh for the murder of his father. Josh's mother cries, and with the week she's had, you can't really blame her. At least Bobby's not likely to get into a whole lot of trouble. Veronica looks very worried as we go to commercial.
Back from the break, out on the balcony, Heather is looking at a picture of Veronica on Logan's laptop. Heather opines that Veronica is pretty. Logan: "Is she? I hadn't noticed." Talk about leaving people open. Logan's phone rings, and when he sees that it's Dick calling, he answers asking where the hell he is. Dick tells Logan in a party-boy way that he's married, to which Logan has absolutely no reaction as he tells him to get back to Neptune. Heh. However, Dick claims to be on his honeymoon, so he hangs up as we see Melinda passed out in the bed. Well, that is his biggest fantasy made flesh. Heather then blows by Logan and tells him that she met a guy online, so she's going to meet him so he can take her out for ice cream. Logan tells her that she's not going anywhere, and they argue for a minute until she busts up, since she was totally kidding. Logan lets loose a slight smile, and as they walk back out to the balcony, Heather asks who was on the phone. Logan: "Just your brother-in-law." Hee. Also, yikes.
Jail. Veronica goes to see Josh and tells him that his dad's car was found in the water below the cliff, so now carjacking is officially off the list, which is not great for him. She asks if there's any reason Mason would lie about having seen Josh at the murder site. Josh thinks that maybe Mason would have had a grudge against the coach, since he'd lost his starting position a few games earlier. Also, Mason apparently possesses both a temper and a gun, the latter of which he showed off at a party once. Josh says he told the sheriff about that, but that Lamb didn't care, and no one believes him. Josh's voice drops as he asks somewhat desperately, "You believe me, don't you?" Veronica gives a small smile as she tells him, "At Mars Investigations, believing our clients is just one of the many services we offer." She doesn't mention that it costs extra. She asks Josh if there's anything she can get him, and he asks for something to read, peanut butter cookies, and maybe a hacksaw. Veronica thinks that the reading materials are easy, but that Lamb personally inspects all the food, "and it rarely makes it back to the intended inmate." Josh and Veronica make googly eyes at each other, and scene.
Mars Investigations. Keith is on the phone with someone at an airport, checking up on Stoltz's alibi. He doesn't say anything, but from his reaction, I'd guess it checks out. He goes to put something away in a file cabinet, and then behind him, Mindy O'Dell tells him she got his call. He tells her that he wants off the case, since he found eggshells under the windshield wiper of her Volvo, the car she was driving that night -- the same night the Dean's office was egged by a bunch of disgruntled students. Mindy tells Keith that she didn't leave the hotel until dawn, and has no idea how the eggshell could have gotten on the car. Keith goes on to say that he's also discovered that she made a call to Landry in the middle of the night, and wonders why she would have had to call him if she and Landry were together the whole night. Mindy's confused at first, but then remembers that she went down to get some toothpaste for Landry; he needed it but didn't want to be seen by one of his students who works in the Grand (presumably Ratner). She says she was just calling to find out what brand he used. You'd think she would have asked that while she was still in the room, no? Anyway, Keith calls Landry, who's not too thrilled with Keith's having taken the case at all, since he's sure Dean Ed killed himself. Keith asks about the call, and Landry acidly tells Keith exactly what Mindy just told him. Mindy's visibly relieved, and once Keith's off the phone, she asks him if he's still on the case. He counters by asking if she still wants him. She says that while he's digging in the wrong place, at least he's trying, which is more than she can say for the sheriff's department. Keith looks at her skeptically. Now might be the time to tell her about the "believing our clients" fee, Keith.
Logan and Heather are back playing the videogame, and Heather asks Logan why he and Veronica aren't still together. He tells her that he did something he shouldn't have done. "Someone" is more like it, but I guess even he can give an eleven-year-old girl the G-rated version. Also, Logan could be referring to his preposterous-looking trimmed stubble, which is definitely "something" he should have avoided. I'll admit that Matthew Fox can pull that look off, but not him. Heather asks if Logan has apologized in such a way that Veronica knows he means he's sorry. Logan: "I poured my heart out to her on her voicemail, and she never even called me back." Wow. It's a good thing Dick isn't here to hear this, because telling an eleven-year-old that you "poured your heart out" on your ex's voicemail is bringing sad-sackery to a whole new level. Heather suggests calling Veronica again.
Keith enters the security office at the Neptune Grand and warmly greets the guy who's watching the monitors, "Reggie." Reggie asks if Keith wants him to check up on Veronica again, causing those of us who get off on continuity porn to light a cigarette. Keith asks if Reggie can check up on a client's alibi from December 10th, but Reggie tells him the bad news that their hard drive starts recording over itself after a month. However, if Keith has a license plate, Reggie could check with his buddy who runs the valet service, since they keep those records for ages. Keith smiles big.
On Hearst's campus, Veronica catches Mason and asks what he told Lamb he saw on the night in question. Mason tells her what he told the sheriff, but Veronica asks whether the coach and "Josh" were facing each other. Mason says yes, so Veronica points out that it sounds like he only saw Josh from behind, so she wonders how he can be sure it was him. Wow, some real, honest-to-God detective work this episode. I may have to buy another pack of smokes here. Mason says that he saw Josh's hair and basketball jacket, and he looked back and saw his profile when he went by. Veronica asks about Mason's feelings toward the coach in the wake of his demotion, causing that temper of Mason's that Josh warned us about to flare a little as he asks whether Veronica thinks he'd kill his coach over that. Veronica: "A woman in Texas hired a hitman to take out the mother of her daughter's cheerleading rival, so, you know, I'm pretty much willing to consider anything. Where do you keep your gun?" On the one hand, the delivery there rocked. On the other, Bring It On used that reference, like, seven years ago, so maybe it's time to look for some new material. (As Gabrielle Union would say, "Tried to steal our bit! But you look like shit! And we're the ones who are down with it!" Yes, I still have every line of that movie memorized. What of it?) Mason is all, "Screw you," and bails. Oh, I don't think Wallace would be too happy to hear that Mason said that to Veronica! Yeah, you know, Wallace! Um...that guy, who was in that one scene? And he had a couple of lines? No? Sigh. Commercials.
Keith arrives home to find Veronica in the preparatory stages of baking, and asks, "Did you suffer a blow to the head?" Keith, surely you caught a whiff of snickerdoodles at some point over the years. But given your lack of any cushioning hair, perhaps you're the one who's endured some cranial trauma. Veronica says that the cookies are for Josh, prompting Keith to ask whether she believes him. Veronica tells him she's not sure, but that she definitely wants Josh to think she believes him. Keith tells her that he checked with Mason's girlfriend, and that she confirmed that he was with her the night of the murder. You know, Keith, you're making Veronica's "believing Josh" act a lot harder with all your detective work and evidence here. Veronica then asks Keith not to get murdered: she's been thinking a lot about what she would do if she didn't have him. Might not want to look at the recent ratings, then, kid. Keith offers to handle the case by himself, but Veronica, already recovering, says that won't work, and asks how Mindy took it when Keith dropped the case. He tells her that he hasn't so much dropped it, explains what happened in the office, and then reveals that someone took out the Volvo from the Grand at 1:51 AM, and returned it at 2:59 AM. Veronica excitedly says that the witness reported having heard the gunshot between 2:20 and 2:30, and declares that the killer has to be either Mindy or Landry. I have to say, I really don't know that Mindy would take her own car to kill her husband. I'm wondering if the parallel here is that both she and Josh are being framed. Just a thought. Keith agrees that it looks that way, but that he doesn't have access to registration records: "Know anyone over there who might be willing to bend some rules?" Veronica smiles and tells him that is indeed a possibility...
...and then she's approaching Tina, the Grand employee who helped Veronica and Logan before. Tina sunnily greets Veronica as "Logan's girlfriend." It's a good thing that it's the dead of winter -- Veronica's blanching at that statement isn't as obvious as it would be in August. She pauses only briefly before confirming that that's right, and quickly extracts this information: "Rory Finch," Landry's alias, hasn't been at the Grand since December 10th; a dessert was ordered to the room around midnight; Kiss Kiss Bang Bang was ordered on Pay-Per-View at 2:02 AM; Jeff Ratner was working the graveyard shift at the time: "They stuck him on the shift after they busted him for stealing toiletries." Veronica raises an eyebrow: "Ratner, eh?" Hee. I'm glad he wasn't fired over what Veronica did to him, but he was kind of a dick to her, so I can't get too bent out of shape over his sleep schedule getting screwed up.
Heather excitedly leads Logan out to the living room and tells him that she called some radio station a couple hundred times; she finally got through, and they're going to play her song. Logan tells her that local calls are two dollars each, and her face falls like a teeny little E-Z-Bake Oven soufflé. However, Logan was kidding. Heh.
Down in the Grand's kitchen, Veronica is looking for Ratner. She passes by a radio that is dedicating a song from "a very sad boy to a very special girl. Veronica, this is from Logan. He's sorry, girl, and he wants you back." Veronica stops in her tracks, turns around, and looks at the radio, which is playing Nick Lachey's "What's Left Of Me." Hee hee. Veronica fails to see the rampant humor here, and clicks off the song. She then turns and runs straight into Ratner, who snarks, "Take it from the guy who has to clean up after him: you don't want what's left of Logan Echolls." Ratner's pretty proud of that line, but he's not nearly as clever as he thinks he is, given that he could Ebay Logan's half-eaten pork chops and retire on the proceeds. He says that Logan lies in bed all day, but Veronica's turned off the part of her brain that's affected by Nick Lachey, and faux-cheerily greets Jeff: "Let's talk crème brulee."
Logan, to his credit, is horrified at Heather's effort, but she babbles that Veronica will love it, and girls love feeling special, and people in love shouldn't break up. That may sound hopelessly naïve, but it does earn her a pat on the head from Logan, so I guess she's doing something right. Logan leaves the room, and Heather follows him and says she's starting to feel like a shut-in. She asks if there's a workout room. Logan says he'll show her.
Ratner prissily shows Veronica the room to which he delivered the dessert, and mentions that he overheard a verbal fight therein. The kicker is that the fight was between two men.
Heeee hee hee. This scene is so awesome. Ratner and Veronica get the elevator, only to find Logan and Heather inside. Ratner gets on, and pointedly asks a stunned Veronica if she's going to do the same. After a moment, she does, and even bids Logan an uncertain hello. Logan returns the greeting while staring straight ahead like he's carsick and the slightest movement will make him projectile-vomit. Which, minus the car part, is probably pretty much the case. Veronica looks over at Heather and asks, "Is that my shirt?" Ah ha ha ha ha ha. This is just too precious. Logan explains/non-explains that Heather was out of clothes. Heather gets this "EEEEE!" smile as she recognizes Veronica, and loudly proclaims her glee as Veronica and Ratner make bemused faces. Heather then can't control herself and asks Veronica if she was listening to the radio dedication. Veronica, conflicting emotions readily apparent, admits that she did hear it. Heather tells her it's true: Logan's sorry and he misses her and they should get back together because he totally loves her, and luckily for Logan, the elevator is laughing so hard at this point that it has to pause for breath. Logan and Heather get off, but Logan does look back pleadingly at Veronica before the door closes. Ratner snarks, "Trouble in paradise?" This one's making the rounds quickly, Veronica, so it's a good thing you talked to Tina when you did.
Back outside the elevator, Heather is upset, saying that Logan had the perfect opportunity there, and that he should have told Veronica how he feels. He yells that he's not eleven or delusional. As Heather's eyes fill up, Logan tells her that she doesn't know anything about love: "It is easy to be happy all the time when you're eleven." Given his family history, I'm guessing Logan's going on hearsay here. He tells Heather to talk to him about love when she knows something about it. You'd better fix this, Logan, because in TV Land, making Little Girl God cry is worse than organizing bumfights.
Landry's class. Veronica enters as VMVO tells us that knowing that Landry or Mindy left the Grand in time to kill Dean Ed adds a whole new level of weirdness to attending Profiling class. Landry calls Veronica up and tells her he has good news: she's made it to the second round of the FBI internship. So she did end up applying for the internship, even though she did the final paper? Veronica, college is about doing the minimum amount of work. Didn't anyone tell you? Also, I know the FBI is sometimes the subject of scorn, but I still think the screening process is pretty rigorous, so I'm a little skeptical that someone THE FBI BASICALLY KNOWS AIDED AND ABETTED A FELONY would be invited into their ranks. Maybe it's the recruiting version of "If you can't beat 'em, join 'em." Veronica valiantly musters some enthusiasm, and thanks Landry for pushing her to apply, and for the recommendation. Landry tells her that he's sure Dean Ed's letter helped quite a bit. Veronica's confused, so Landry tells her that he put a notice in the faculty blog soliciting further recommendations, and that Dean Ed came through. Veronica's affected by the news, but covers by saying that it reminds her of a part of Kiss Kiss Bang Bang after Robert Downey Jr.'s character dies. Landry corrects her that Downey survives the film. I've been pretty happy with the detective work here, but COME ON. This proves nothing beyond the fact that Landry's seen the film at some point. Further than that, even if he hadn't known the ending, wouldn't it be possible that, at 3:30 in the morning, he was, I don't know, ASLEEP? Perhaps this is why Landry seems to be looking at her, all, "Good luck getting to that third round."
Mars Investigations. Veronica produces a copy of Dean Ed's recommendation. It's short and to the point, but positively glowing, and Veronica and Keith are both deeply moved. They agree to honor Dean Ed by jailing his killer. And this is maybe a little heavy-handed, but we do know that Dean Ed really liked Veronica, and besides, I'm all for anything that gets Veronica and Keith working together on a big case.
Logan's back to moping in bed when Dick calls from the road and asks him if he knows a good lawyer. Logan: "I know a lawyer." Hee. Somehow, I don't think Cliff would take offense. Dick says that they'll be back in a couple of hours, and then tells him that "Wifeypoo" wants to talk to him. He hands the phone off to Melinda, who tells him that Heather's Little Miss Sunshine thing is new, since she went a little wiggy when their dad walked out on them, and that Logan should make sure Heather takes her Prozac or she'll drive him nuts. Logan looks worried, and I don't blame him, since it looks like Dick might actually be the more responsible member of his newfound marriage, and that's a terrifying thought indeed.
Cut to Logan knocking on Heather's door. She tells him to go away, but he offers to take her for ice cream. She opens the door, and they smile at each other. See, you don't really need designer drugs as long as you're not lactose-intolerant.
Mars Investigations. Mindy enters and tells Keith that his message sounded urgent. Keith asks her what she can tell him about Kiss Kiss Bang Bang, and she doesn't know anything other than that it's a movie. Upon hearing the Pay-Per-View thing, Mindy speculates that Landry started it after she fell asleep. This line of questioning is a lot more damning than Veronica's, especially since Mindy was supposedly on her toothpaste-buying excursion only half an hour before the movie was ordered. You'd think she'd at least be aware that Landry was getting the movie, even if she didn't watch it. Keith goes on to tell her about the car's checkout and return times. Mindy, more concerned now, says that someone must be framing her. Giving her one last chance, Keith brings up the overheard fight, which Mindy says must have been the TV, and we, the viewers, know she's lying on this point. Keith yells that he doesn't believe her, so she tells him he's off the case. She turns to go, but Keith isn't done: "You can fire me, Mrs. O'Dell, but you can't take me off the case. I quite liked your husband." Mindy looks cowed, and exits before she can get Keith even more in bloodhound mode. If that's possible. By the way? Keith's best scene in a long, long time. Love.
Logan and Heather get off the elevator as Heather admits that Logan's place's ice cream is better than the one she recommended. Logan tells her that they can play the videogame on line, and that they should have a weekly tournament. They enter Logan's suite to find the newlyweds mid-fight about the fact that Dick was insensitive about one of Melinda's second toes being longer than her big toe. Melinda snaps at Heather to get her stuff, which she does, but she pauses to tell Logan that Fridays at 4 are good for her, and to give him a big hug. Awwww. Dick salutes Melinda, which I'm guessing is ASL for "Let's get an annulment ASAP." Logan grins, "There goes the old ball and chain, huh?" Hee.
Veronica returns to jail, and gives Josh a couple of books. He opens one of them, and flips a few pages to see that it's been hollowed out, and contains peanut-butter cookies. God, Veronica, you didn't even put them in a plastic bag? I know Lamb's not always the brightest, but he's in law enforcement. His nose knows the smell of baked goods. Josh thanks her, and then tells her that he's been thinking it over, and that the killer has to be Mason, so she should find the gun. Veronica gently tells him that if Mason did do it, he probably threw the gun in the ocean. Here's a question: was the bullet that killed the coach found? If so, could that narrow down the types of gun that could have been used? And you'd think Mason's gun was registered if he showed it off so casually, right? Maybe I'm overthinking things, but given that I'm only on page 14 here, what are the chances? Anyway, there's a weird pan up to an old guy in the top bunk, and then we go back down to watch Josh eat a cookie.
At school, Dick and Logan jauntily head into Economics class together, and Logan presents his teacher with a shiny red apple, asking, "Miss me?" If he's referring to non-mopey-emo Logan, the answer is likely to be yes.
Landry is lecturing when Lamb interrupts and calls Veronica's name. She reluctantly raises her hand, which Lamb grabs and cuffs, telling her that she's under arrest for aiding and abetting Josh's escape. When I first saw this, I thought she had put something in the second book that Josh used to escape. From Veronica's reaction when the charge is read, though, I'm now thinking she didn't know anything about it. I guess we'll find out...WEEK! (In the meantime, don't email me.)
Speaking of which, the episode looks AWESOME. From what I can tell, Cliff bails Veronica out. Josh goes nuts and kidnaps Mason, using duct tape and all, and interrogates him in front of Veronica. Lamb shoots a gun. Can't wait!