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Good news: Cliff is back. Bad news: Wallace is still gone, and Keith loses the election. Hey, we're all used to election disappointments by now. Duncan has a party, at which Dick forgives Logan for nailing Charisma, because you know he totally would have done the same. Dick celebrates by hitting on Gia at Duncan's party, but the real fun starts when Sacks shows up to arrest Logan for Felix's murder after the dude from the bridge finally makes an appearance. Meanwhile, Abel Koontz winos his way to Mars Investigations and asks Veronica to track down his daughter Amelia. Veronica's investigation leads her to another happy reappearance (Clarence Wiedman), and a new appearance (Joss Whedon). And the Buffy crossovers keep on coming. Less happily, Veronica finds Amelia's corpse in an ice machine. Cold. Veronica and Wiedman team up, and that's not a duo I'd want to take on any time soon. Veronica sits with Koontz on his deathbed without telling him about his daughter. "Sympathy For The Devil" surprisingly doesn't play. Cliff represents Logan, which lands Logan in a cell with his father. Maybe he should have spent some money on a single room. Haaron claims that Duncan must have killed Lilly, but Logan doesn't quite believe him, what with the whole trying-to-kill-Veronica thing. Logan quickly gets out on bail, prompting the PCHers to set the Echolls house on fire. Allegedly. Logan retaliates by buying Weevil's grandmother's house. Also, Logan moves in with Duncan. Threeway! Lamb drags the bus wreckage out of the ocean, but when Keith asks him what he found, Lamb tells him about Veronica's name on the dead guys' hand. Whoops. Veronica tells Keith what she knows about the dead guy, leading Keith to pay Haaron a somewhat menacing visit. Keith's visit is to the bus, wherein he finds a rat duct-taped under a seat. DUN DUN DUN! Well, we kind were expecting a bomb, but still. Want more? The full recap starts right below!
Before I start, for anyone who isn't up on these things, the title pays homage to one of Rob Thomas's "young adult" books, Rats Saw God, which I can say from personal experience is a great read. There aren't any literal rats in it, though, so I'm sure we can expect not to see any tonight.
Chez Mars. Hey, it's nice of the Mars family to invite all those extras over to watch the result of the sheriff's election! It's not the easiest thing to find social engagements when you're not allowed to talk. VMVO tells us the election is a nail-biter, as we get a long-overdue look at Cliff, who's dealing with the suspense by drinking whatever's available. And given that Lianne stocked the Mars liquor cabinet, I'd imagine he's going to wake up with one bear of a hangover. VMVO adds that her attempts to get in touch with Wallace have failed, as Keith tries to put a brave face on things, saying they own "the straggler vote." Cliff asks Veronica for another drink, but Veronica tells him that they're out of gin. Cliff: "I'm not particular." Heh. The newscaster informs us that Lamb has pulled ahead by a percentage point, eliciting unappreciative non-SAG groans from the crowd.
Lamb is sucking on a stogie at the sheriff's office when a bespectacled dude catches him and tells him he made the anonymous call from the bridge. Lamb takes a long moment to stare at him, which I appreciate, since he's totally not the same guy we saw on the bridge in Logan's flashback. Then again, Logan's visual acuity may have been impaired by all the boots to the temple and such.
Neptune Grand. Duncan is having a party. Dick runs into Logan and is all, "Dude. My stepmom?" Is he asking how he Logan could do this, or how Charisma was? I mean, this is Dick we're dealing with here. Logan apologizes, and Dick affably says it's no big deal; besides, he totally would have hit Lynn back in the days before she, er, gave herself back to nature. Logan's delivery of "Great" is hilarious, and he then asks if there are no hard feelings. Dick: "You know, she gave me a few." Now I have to update my "Top Ten Personal Hells" to include endless exposure to the comic stylings of Dick Casablancas. The look on Logan's face suggests that I'm not alone. Nonetheless, that went pretty easily. I think Beaver will be a tougher sell. (Make your own joke here.)
Chez Mars. The newscaster announces that The Woodman has won the office of County Supervisor, "the position historically referred to as the Mayor of Neptune." Hee, not exactly, but points for style. The newscaster then calls the sheriff's race in Lamb's favor. Veronica's bummed, but Keith doesn't seem that disappointed, and says they'll get Lamb in 2010. Good Lord, and I had unpleasant enough associations just with "four more years." Cliff bright-sides that 49% of Neptune still likes Keith, which is nice, if probably inaccurate. Between Keith's release of Driver Ed and Lamb's personality, I'd bet a lot of votes cast in this election were from the school of "anyone but him." Veronica and Keith rehash their argument about whether they should have released the recording of the bus crash, and then Keith tells her to go to Duncan's party, since he's got Cliff to keep him company. Cliff: "I promise to hold his hair back if he has to make sick in the toilet." Hee. And considering how many times he probably did that with Lianne, I'd say karma owes Keith a few of those.
Dick is telling Gia that if his dad ever comes back to the U.S., he's looking at ten to fifteen years at "Club Fed." Gia asks if living alone isn't weird, and Dick smooves that it's tough, since his real mom has a new family in San Francisco, so he's just trying to take care of The Beav. And his solo presence at the party suggests that he's doing a bang-up job on that front. Gia excuses herself to talk to Veronica, and expresses her sympathy at the election results. Veronica in turn congratulates Gia, saying that she's now "Neptune's First Daughter." Gia busts on the Bush twins, and then asks Veronica what she thinks about Dick. And never has an increase in my perception of a character's esteem been quite so fleeting. Veronica observes Dick pumping a keg with both hands, and with a smile that somehow manages to be both wry and sardonic, opines, "What can I say? Dick is just...Dick." If the message "Dick is someone who'll give GHB to his girlfriend and urge his brother to nail an unconscious girl" is contained in that sentence, they're getting really subtle with the subtext.
The conversation is interrupted by the appearance of Deputy Sacks. VMVO thinks it's "ballsy" to "bust the Mayor's kid's party on Election Night." That's weird, because I thought this was Duncan's party. Also, it's County Supervisor, Veronica! I know you were watching that newscast! Sacks informs Logan that Lamb would like a word with him, and Logan responds that he'd like to be "the crème filling in an Olsen twins sandwich." And that's the first time that Mary-Kate Olsen and sandwiches have been associated with each other in quite some time. Logan asks Sacks to make things official, and Sacks obliges, cuffing Logan as he arrests him for murdering Felix. If his desire was to get Sacks to manhandle him, a trip through the forums would suggest that he's not alone. ["But seriously, you guys. THAT GUY?!" -- Wing Chun] Veronica observes with what looks like some amount of consternation as Sacks leads Logan away just as Duncan (in ANOTHER ARGYLE SWEATER, MAKE IT STOP) returns with more booze. Dick raises his arms and is all, "Douche chill!" Hee. It's the new awkward.
Keith calls the sheriff's office looking for Lamb, but Lamb motions for Sacks to take a message, since he's busy with Logan. They are sitting awfully close, in case you were wondering what kind of "busy" I meant. Keith says he just wanted to say "good race" and "congratulations" and all manner of things that get stuck in your throat like the thickest of mashed potatoes when they're directed to someone like Lamb. Keith learns that Lamb had the bus brought up from the ocean. Now, I'm no detective, but shouldn't this maybe have been done already? I know Lamb's been busy blackmailing local athletes, but still.
Veronica arrives at Mars Investigations as VMVO tells us that she'd like to prevent another "bad surprise." Before we learn what that might be, however, she notices a drunk sitting in a corner. She starts to say something, but Abel Koontz reveals his face and breathes, "Veronica Mars." Veronica is like, "Abel Koontz?" Now that we've established that we know each other, can we get to the DUN DUN DUN?
Cut to Veronica helping Koontz into Mars Investigations. He babbles that his daughter Amelia is missing, and that he needs Veronica's help to find her before he dies. VMVO notes that this is a surprise indeed, and in a brilliant touch, she sets off the surprise to which she was referring earlier, which is balloons and confetti. I love when you need a Ginsu blade to get through the irony. Credits.
Koontz, with some difficulty, tells Veronica that Amelia got $3 million from the settlement with Kane Software, and tearfully begs Veronica to find her. Veronica calls a hospital to get the location of its ER entrance, and then accedes to Koontz's request, but "only because [he] begged." Aw. She's such a soft touch with the terminals.
A deputy tells Logan to step forward out of a lineup. He doesn't instruct Logan to give a monologue about the experience that's gayer than Cirque Du Soleil, but that doesn't stop our boy.
Later, Lamb tells Logan that he might want a lawyer, but Logan blusters that he'll take the first sober public defender available. Well, I hope that's Cliff, but I don't know how long it's been since Election Night. Lamb menaces that Logan won't even make bail without a hearing, and that even if he makes it in front of a judge, Lamb will use his influence to have Logan declared a flight risk. Logan sort of weirdly smirks to end the scene.
College campus. VMVO says that Amelia's paper trail dried up at the end of May, so she's checking into her personal ties: "Last I saw her, she was tied pretty tightly to a certain boyfriend." Let's hope said boyfriend didn't set any pools on fire in June. Veronica knocks on the boyfriend's door and, when he answers, addresses him as "Mike."
Inside, Mike -- who I don't think is the same actor from "Kanes And Abel's" -- tells Veronica that, after finals, Amelia showed up with a bunch of money and took him to Europe, specifically Ibiza. They jet-setted around for a while until one night, they were at a club that dropped "this foam crap" on you at midnight. Once that happened, he never saw Amelia again. Veronica: "Did you check under the foam?" Hee. Mike says he had to call his parents to fly him home, which sucked. Veronica asks if Mike isn't worried about Amelia, but he says that Amelia swiped his phone cards, so she could call him if she were in trouble. Because if there's one thing three million bucks can't buy, it's a phone call across the Atlantic. Mike says he doubts he's going to hear from Amelia, but that you never know; she might call if she's really on the rocks.
Veronica checks with Amelia's roommate, but she hasn't heard from her. The roommate is surprised at the Ibiza news, since Amelia was hardly the "Girls Gone Wild" type, and the roommate practically had to drag Amelia to the "Greek booze cruise" last year: "Or maybe it's true what they say: Money changes people." Wow, Amelia didn't want to hang out with a bunch of drunken fratty louts who lick their fingers, paw a girl, and say, "Let's get you out of these wet clothes"? Thank God she came into three million dollars to cure such deviance!
Having ditched the roommate, Veronica looks at a pay phone and gets an idea. She's always doing that.
Cut to Veronica at Mike's door again, asking whether he jotted down the numbers of his phone cards anywhere.
Later, chez Mars, Veronica's on her computer as VMVO tells us that she's checking the Ibiza website, which is where Mike said he and Amelia learned of all the great parties. Veronica does a search for Amelia. These scenes are flying along from a recapping standpoint. Considering that happens somewhat less often that a blue moon on this show, I don't mind taking time to show my appreciation.
Sheriff's office. Cliff (yay!) is indeed Logan's appointed lawyer. Logan sighs, "My tax dollars at work." I'd think his tax bill alone would be enough to get a better lawyer. In fact, I didn't think someone with Logan's kind of money could use a public defender even if he wanted to. Logan's in handcuffs again, but he probably likes it that way. Cliff introduces himself as an "If you cannot afford an attorney" attorney. Hee, but I hope he's speaking somewhat metaphorically, because there aren't a whole lot of things Logan can't afford. Okay, yes, most of his money's probably still in trust, but he's still got his inheritance from his mom. He's also likely to have credit lines that extend about as far as Uranus. (First one of the season! That's for you, Keckler.) Cliff calls Logan out on this point, saying that having Cliff as his attorney doesn't make Logan look innocent: "It makes you look like an arrogant jackass." Well, Logan has his moments, but if Cliff's correct, I wouldn't say that the stunt is exactly distorting reality. Cliff sternly says that if the witness's story holds, Logan will go to trial, but Logan responds that the guy is lying. Cliff says that the guy deposed that Logan was ranting like a maniac over Felix's corpse. Logan asks what was in his own statement. Cliff: "The expletive racial expletive had it maternal expletive coming." Hee. Cliff adds that Logan threatened to use his father's money to have the witness killed, and adds, "The Echolls name won't buy you a lot of jury love." Not unless the trial is conducted on the internet.
Cliff's phone rings, and he totally answers in the middle of the interview. It's Veronica, who needs something. Cliff tries to blow her off, and they amusingly go back and forth about favors they've done for each other until Cliff is forced to yield. Veronica asks him to run one of Amelia's phone card numbers: "Nothing melts an operator's heart like an overwrought Fred MacMurray." I guess Veronica's a Nick at Nite viewer. But given Kyle Gallner's character's name, I'm surprised the writers didn't go with Hugh Beaumont. Cliff hangs up with Veronica and calls the phone company with...well, a spot-on overwrought-father act. Logan actually appreciates the performance, so it's nice to know that he doesn't hog all the ham for himself. The operator comes up with the requested information, and Cliff asks her to email it to "vmars@aol.com." I'm surprised AOL beat out Apple for this product placement, but I think the latter has blown its budget for the year already. Also, Logan looks more amused than anything else at Veronica's involvement with Cliff. Once Cliff's done, he says he has certain abilities, but that marquee murder cases aren't his specialty: "Lamb wants to keep you here supposedly to ease community tensions, but really 'cause he's mean." Heh. He counsels Logan to shell out for a real lawyer, "or three." Yeah, it might not be a bad idea to have a handler or two for Logan present the time he starts off on an expletive-laden rant.
VMVO tells us that Cliff has come through again. Was there ever any doubt? Veronica discovers that Amelia made a call from Neptune only a week ago. Man, she was in town and didn't visit her dying dad? That's cold.
Lamb leads Logan to a cell, and if you didn't see the little neck massage Lamb gives Logan on the way, I assume you'll be watching the scene again posthaste. Once the door's closed, Logan asks when he gets his conjugal visit. From the way Lamb's batting his eyes at Logan, it might be sooner than he thinks. Logan looks around the cell and sees a grizzled dude sitting on the bed, and then hears someone speak his name from offscreen. He turns around to find his dear old dad. Well, at least he doesn't have to worry about this turning into a scene from Oz. I hope.
Haaron asks Logan why he's there, but Logan turns the question around. Haaron says he got transferred out of County that morning: "I guess our sheriff has a soft spot for family, huh?" Or at least an eye for great actor chemistry. Haaron notes that at least Logan is visiting: "Those special times with your emancipation paperwork don't really count." Only because they didn't permit one last belt-whipping for the road. Logan snits that he needed a little time to work through how Haaron bashed Lilly's skull in. Haaron cops to sleeping with Lilly, but says he didn't kill her -- Duncan did. Looks like someone got into the "Alternate Season 1 Ending" file on Rob Thomas's desktop. Change that password, Rob! Haaron pleads his case, saying that Duncan overheard him and Lilly at the Kane estate, and was furious, so Haaron took off. Because if we've learned anything about Haaron, it's that he's quick to back away from a fight. Logan points out that Haaron also tried to kill Veronica, and it's worth noting that Haaron basically confessed to Veronica that he killed Lilly, in case anyone's being taken in by his bullshit story. I'll bet, before last year, you never thought you'd believe a lie because Harry Hamlin's acting sold it. Haaron says he tried to kill Veronica because he "snapped." I hope he's not representing himself. Haaron sighs that maybe his life is over, but then, with more conviction, adds that Logan shouldn't throw his own life away just to spite Haaron. It does sound like the sort of thing Logan would do, too. Haaron says he wants to get Logan a real lawyer, not one "with a mail-order diploma and a three-hundred-dollar suit." Cliff's voice cuts in: "Two for five hundred, actually, but your point remains valid." Heh. He informs Logan that he's made bail; Cliff and the judge go to the same gym. Also, the bond is $200,000: "So, Chip, how 'bout you thank me by taking the old block's advice: get a new lawyer." Man, if Cliff had every line on this show, my recaps would simply be links to the shooting scripts. Logan smiles and says that Cliff has won him over. I'm not clear what took him so long. Also, the meaning of his line is open to interpretation, especially given his delivery. If a vote can influence the outcome, I'll opt for more Cliff.
In front of a pay phone across the street from Kane Software, VMVO takes entirely too long to tell us that she's at the site of Amelia's last call, so she knows whom to talk to.
Inside, we see the dapper and intimidating Clarence Wiedman himself. He notices that his office door is open, and his absent assistant returns with a story that someone called and said her car was being towed. Looking like he knows who that someone might be, Wiedman enters his office to discover Veronica sitting at his desk. Veronica: "What are you the head of again?" Hee, but careful, Veronica. Before he was Head of Security, he was Head of Shutting People Up By Any Means Necessary. And believe me, I've been to a few parties where his services would have been invaluable. Veronica asks where Amelia is, alleging that part of the settlement was that Amelia disappear, and mentioning the phone call. Wiedman smoothly says that all he did was give Amelia paperwork to sign, and that the phone call wasn't to him, so Veronica should "get back to minding [her] own business." Oh, Wiedman. Veronica's been to paradise, but she's never been to minding her own business. Wiedman threatens her by picking up the phone. Veronica: "No need to call yourself to escort me out." Hee. Wiedman balefully watches Veronica go.
Dick is telling Duncan about some place where, if you drink a certain drink, you get a shirt. Duncan asks why he'd want a "Señor Shrimp" shirt, only he pronounces the first word "Senior," and I'd think the guy with the genius GPA would be able to pronounce that word correctly, especially since he LIVES LIKE HALF AN HOUR FROM THE MEXICAN BORDER. Tan estupido, Senior Duncan. Dick says that the shirt has a shrimp with the caption "Eat me." Oh, Dick. You're so...Dick. Weevil and some bikers ride in on an awkward segue, and Weevil tells Dick and Duncan about the witness coming forward. Dick asks if they changed the laws such that it's a crime to kill a Mexican now. Weevil was being an asshole there, but that comment still seems waaaay out of bounds to me, as it seemingly does to Duncan, so I'm surprised that Weevil easily lets it go as Dick and Duncan bail. Hector, whom we've seen at least twice before, appears and seethes that Logan made bail "in, like, two minutes." Well, not quite, but I understand where he's coming from. The bikers use a homophobic comment as an impetus to decide they need to do something about Logan. I'll just let you work out the subtext there.
Veronica catches Duncan in the hall and kisses him, eliciting a mild "Ew" from Dick. Duncan asks Veronica about a couple different bars: "Enbom" got them all new fake IDs from Rhode Island. Well, in that vein, I'd suggest they get wasted at a little bar called "Klemmer's." The ID reference gives Veronica an idea, and Duncan actually picks up on that point. It looks like Duncan is becoming more cognizant of how Veronica thinks. Having seen the end of the episode, I'll predict that that's not going to last. Veronica takes leave of her boyfriend and calls Amelia's roommate, asking who supplied Amelia with the fake ID she needed to go on the Booze Cruise. Turns out it was her cousin...
..."Margot Schnell," who rented a car at the San Diego Airport a week earlier. Given that schnell means "fast" in German, I hope they had a certain Tracy Chapman CD with them. When life gives you these cues, it's best to play along.
Lamb is driving Logan home as Logan says that two days in jail means two days of Ellen on the TiVo. I bet Logan's TiVo's suggestions of programs he'd like have gotten a lot more numerous since LOGO came into being. Lamb hears something on the police radio, and asks Logan what his address is again...
...because when they get there, his house is totally on fire and the grounds are crawling with police cars and fire trucks. Lamb and Logan get out of the car and stare. Lamb: "That's gonna mess up your TiVo." Hee. Now how's he going to watch Noah's Arc?
Veronica approaches some guy who happens to be behind a rental-car counter. He also happens to be the creator of Buffy and Angel. Between them, those two shows lasted Ten seasons on the WB -- a highly impressive achievement. There were also two seasons on UPN, but I'd like to play nice here. One other point: the name of the agency is "Lariat Rental Car," a shout-out to the 2007 Wonder Woman movie that Joss is writing and directing. I'd like to throw that lariat around him and ask who he's going to cast as the lead. Few choices could make me avoid that movie, but Mischa Barton is certainly one of them. Veronica tells Joss she's hoping he can help her, and he affably says that's what he's there for. She notes that she's talking to the right guy, since Joss has an "Employee Of The Month" picture of himself up on the wall. Those are easier to get when you're a showrunner. Veronica gives a bullshit story designed to find out what car Margot rented, and Joss tells Veronica that schnell means "fast" in German. Now you all think I learned that from Joss, where in fact I learned it from my college German teacher, who just happened to be named "Miss Dent." Yeah, I don't know what happened to her either. Veronica fakes being impressed and asks if Joss speaks German, and he playfully answers, "Jawohl." You know, if Joss can make German sound sexy, maybe he should consider stepping out in front of the camera more often. Joss tells Veronica that the car is a white LeSabre, but that it's rented at the moment. Veronica's face falls, but she tries to banter with Joss. No dice.
Outside, Veronica changes her jacket as VMVO laments the fact that Wallace isn't there to assist her. She dons a pair of glasses, the better to observe Joss lecturing some female co-worker about how much he does. "I'm in here. There's [sic] two of me." Looks like he should have won "Employees Of The Month," then. Joss bails, and Veronica looks after him with a quizzical side-eye. Well, sure he's a little weird, Veronica. But could a normal guy come up with vampires as a metaphor for high-school suffering? Also, very amusing performance, Joss. I mean that.
Nerd Veronica heads back inside and begs the co-worker to help her, because she has a colleague who "couldn't find his own ass with a mirror and a miner's hat." Maybe he's just not that flexible? The co-worker, by the way, is Kim from America's Top Model. Such pretty synergy! Veronica opines that her colleague is "kind of like that guy," indicating Joss's picture, which brings a small smile from Kim. You'd think she wouldn't give an expression of pleasure with a fishhook stuck in her lip, but they do some weird shoots on that show. Veronica babbles that she left her laptop in the white LeSabre, but Kim tells her again that it's out. Veronica, seeing an ad for their satellite tracking service, badgers Kim into tracking down the car. Kim makes a call and has someone do a "remote unlock" to get the GPS coordinates, which reveal that as of two days ago, the car was in "Waverley, California." Veronica thanks Kim, who expresses her hope that Veronica's boss gets canned. Veronica: "Yours too!" Oh, be nice, Veronica. I'm sure the experience of Firefly was painful enough for him. Of course, maybe she was talking about Jay Manuel. That I could get behind.
Keith goes in to see Lamb, and asks him what he found from examining the bus, but Lamb's unwilling to share. I'm sure that's a marked departure from how he was as a child. Keith points out that if he hadn't turned over the voicemail, the investigation would be nowhere, but Lamb counters that maybe Keith should be worrying about Veronica. Keith asks what that's supposed to mean. Despite his attempt at bravado, I think he knows that the possibilities start at "bad" and end up somewhere several miles past "worse." Lamb tells Keith about Veronica's name on Curly's hand, and then goes in for the kill: "Forget it. She said it was nothing. You know kids these days." Well, not really, but I do know one who's about to get a hell of an earful from her bald, irate dad.
Veronica pulls up to the "Palm Tree Motel" as VMVO tells us that this is where Amelia was two days ago, and also implies that Waverley isn't the most savory town California has to offer. I'm guessing she drove inland. Wacky banjo music kicks up as Veronica enters the lobby and finds the toothless-type proprietor looking at internet porn. Veronica: "Naughty schoolgirls? What will they think of ?" Judging from my spam filter, I think at this point they've thought of just about everything. The proprietor offers Veronica a room at thirty bucks a night. I guess this is the part of California they call "Nevada." Veronica shows the guy Amelia's picture and learns that she was there a couple nights before. Veronica asks to see the room she stayed in, but is forced to fork over thirty bucks....
...for a room that's worth way more than that. I think it would fetch at least fifty even if it were situated right to a rendering plant. An NVMVO wonders why Amelia came here, and then Veronica's phone rings. It's Keith, who sharply asks her where she is. When she lies that she's in a "funny little art gallery," he instructs her to take a picture of the place and send it to him. Oh, Veronica, I don't know where you're going to find an art gallery in this town. Of course, you could have told him you were in a seedy bar drinking PBR for three bucks a pitcher. But I don't think the picture of that would have thrilled Keith, even if it would be far more readily available. Keith brings up the dead guy on the beach, and Veronica weakly tells him she didn't want him to worry. Under questioning, she confesses the link between Curly and Haaron. She emotionally adds that if Haaron was involved, it probably means that all the kids died because of her: "Trying to figure it out is the only thing keeping me from going insane crazy." I don't know that Veronica's been trying to figure it out near as much as she's making it sound, but I guess I have to believe her. It's not like she ever lays it on thick or anything. Regardless of the performance, Keith reminds her to send him the picture...
...and we cut to Veronica rearranging the art on the walls to make it look like a gallery. At thirty bucks a night, the only art that would be on the walls is the kind that got the Brooklyn Museum in trouble with Rudy Giuliani. Part of it, anyway. Veronica poses for the picture...
...and is sending it from her laptop when a notice that the computer has found Amelia's Palm Pilot's Bluetooth signal pops up, which means it must be within thirty feet. Veronica goes to see the manager again, who charges her thirty bucks to see the room on one side of hers, and again for the one on the other side. The banjo remains surprisingly silent through all these wacky hijinx. Veronica discovers nothing of interest in the rooms. When she emerges from the second one, though, she hears a grinding noise coming from the ice machine. With some trepidation, she opens the lid, and after rooting around a little, discovers a hand beneath the ice. Well, I was wrong about the hotel being in Nevada, because it certainly looks like Amelia checked into the Hotel California. Veronica, panicking, rushes into her room and grabs her phone, but Wiedman enters out of nowhere, closes the door behind him, and growls, "I thought I told you to mind your own business." Veronica looks terrified. She might be less so if she turned around and saw how hot Wiedman looks in that black leather jacket.
Veronica starts to tell Wiedman that Keith knows where she is. Oh, Veronica. If only you'd told Keith the truth, he might already have been on his way to save you from Wiedman. Of course, it's possible he's in his car trying to save you from blowing your hard-earned cash on crappy art, but that's a less urgent errand. Slightly. Wiedman asks whether that was Amelia in the ice machine. Veronica starts to make a call, but Wiedman calms her down and says that he wasn't entirely honest with her. He confesses that Amelia extorted another quarter of a million dollars from Kane Software, which Wiedman provided in marked bills, on the condition that she disappear until the Kane family's legal issues were settled. Veronica says that probably means Amelia burned through three million dollars in six months. I guess she took the idea to "live fast, die young, leave a pretty corpse" pretty seriously. Especially given that she ended up in the ice machine. Wiedman adds that the weekend she was supposed to get on the plane and go, some of the marked bills started showing up in Waverley.
Veronica and Wiedman confront the manager again. Veronica asks whether he saw anyone with Amelia, but the manager sasses her. Wiedman: "Answer the question or I'll break all your fingers." Awesome. I want to start ending sentences with "or I'll break all your fingers." Or better yet, have Wiedman accompany me places so I can end sentence with "or he'll break all your fingers." I think that would work better. The manager reveals that a guy was with her: "Brown hair, medium size, t-shirt." Veronica looks chagrined, and Wiedman leads her out of the office.
Outside, Wiedman notes Veronica's reaction, and then says he needs her to take him to whomever she thinks the manager was describing. Veronica's discomfited by the idea of leaving Amelia in the ice machine, but Wiedman says he'll deal with the cops as soon as he gets a handle on the murder before things go too public. In the meantime, one hopes nobody's ice will taste too much like Amelia's conditioner. Veronica's sort of tongue-tied, but that can happen when you team up with your hottest mortal enemy in the blink of an eye.
A deputy leads a handcuffed Haaron into an interrogation room, where Keith is waiting. Haaron notes that there are only two chairs, and asks where his lawyer is going to sit. Keith easily tells him it's an unofficial visit: "Just me and the guard, who'll deny I was ever here." Well, you might, Keith, but given the deputy's Marcel Marceau act, I don't think he's going to be saying anything one way or the other unless he blows the casting director first. Haaron, unintimidated, takes a seat, and Keith asks him what he's been up to. Haaron says he got his Psychology degree: "And now I'm reading the Russian masters. Tolstoy, Turgenev -- you know." Well, I could certainly see where Haaron would be interested in reading Fathers And Sons. Pleasantries over, Keith says he's there because of Veronica. Haaron: "Oh, well, now, that's funny. So am I." Hee. Haaron adds that Keith should thank Haaron for Keith's fifteen minutes, because if not for him, "no one would have bought that hack book of" his. He chuckles, and Keith looks forlorn. The New York Timesbestseller list is a harsh mistress. Keith finally gets to the point about Curly. Haaron laughs at the notion that he had anything to do with the bus crash, but Keith informs him that if anything happens to Veronica, Haaron will pay for it. Haaron condescendingly asks if Keith came all the way out there just to tell him that. Keith: "I came all the way out here to show how easily I can get to you. So just file that away." Keith leaves, and now it's Haaron who looks worried. Perhaps he used his new Psychology degree to determine that Keith is not fucking around. Come back soon, Harry. You're awesome.
Back at the dorms, Mike looks through the peephole of his door and sees Veronica. He opens the door with a smile, but Wiedman appears and stuffs a bandanna into his mouth. That's the most literal wiping off of a smile I've ever seen. Wiedman manhandles Mike across the room and hangs him out of the window, over Veronica's urgent objections. I'd feel bad for him if his apartment didn't have more square footage that all four of my college dorm rooms combined. Wiedman asks Mike if he conspired with Amelia to blackmail Kane Software, and if he killed her. Mike shakes his head vigorously, but that could be a reaction to his sudden need to go underwear shopping.
In the hallway, Veronica asks Wiedman where he learned that interrogation technique. Wiedman: "Harvard." He in turn asks where she got her impressive hysterical routine. Veronica: "Watching cheerleading tryout results." Hee, so they planned for Veronica to look terrified to make Wiedman seem crazier. Awesome. I think we've got new candidates for the "Give 'Em A Spinoff" sweepstakes. Wiedman opines that Mike didn't do it: "No one's that good a liar." And here I thought you and Veronica had met.
Interesting cut to Logan, who's stuffing his face full of pizza at an outdoor table at school while showing off his ankle locator and saying that it puts him "in constant contact with Martha Stewart." Heh. Weevil and the PCHers appear, and Weevil waves a paper in Logan's face and asks what it is. Logan, after some ESL-themed snark, informs Weevil that it's an eviction notice: he bought Weevil's grandmother's house. He smiles, "Su casa es mi casa." Nice, but he missed his chance to close with "You just don't fit in." Also, as mentioned numerous times on the boards, Logan wouldn't be able to evict the grandmother if she had a legitimate lease, but it's entirely possible she didn't, so I'm not going to worry about it. Logan pointedly says that he needs a new house, as his last one burned to the ground, but if Weevil likes, they can all live together -- "one big wacky sitcom family." It's good that the house isn't in New York, because the title The King Of Queens is already taken. ["So is Everwood." -- Wing Chun] Logan goes back to his pizza as he informs Weevil that he is, in fact, kicking the Navarros out, and that he wouldn't live in that house if you put a gun to his head. If only Weevil had one on him, we'd be able to test the validity of that statement. Instead, Weevil starts with Logan, but the gym/computer teacher appears and breaks up the fight. Logan wipes sauce off his face and sucks his finger. Heh. Weevil seethes that Logan is going to prison, and takes off.
Veronica is emailing Wallace to update him of the events of the episode. Jeez, Veronica, give me a few minutes and you can just link to the recap. She's interrupted by an invitation to a video chat, which she accepts. Considering that the handle is "enriquefreaque69," she's either a lot braver or a lot stupider that I would be. The inviter is a pretty blonde girl. Displaying a bit of an accent, she determines Veronica's identity, says she saw her post in the forums of the Ibiza website, and sends Veronica a picture of Amelia on the beach with several other people, including Mike. Veronica starts to explain that the matter is in hand, but the girl breezily says she hope Amelia isn't still with her boyfriend, because he's a tremendous liar. Veronica's gears start grinding...
...and she's on the phone with the motel manager, to whom she forwards the picture. She quickly determines that the guy in Waverley with Amelia wasn't Mike, but the smarmy-looking guy on Amelia's other side. Veronica confirms that that's the guy the blonde was talking about as well. She asks the blonde if she remembers his name...
...and Wiedman gets a call from Veronica, saying that the killer's name is "Carlos Mercado." Wiedman thanks her, telling her Mercado's at Caesar's Palace; some of the marked bills showed up there. Veronica informs Wiedman that Carlos is a diplomat's son, and will be extradited to Argentina. Wiedman doesn't think that's so much going to be a problem, so Veronica asks what he's going to do. Wiedman: "You know the drill, Veronica. What happens is Vegas stays in Vegas." That line sounds so much better when it's referring to wetworks instead of tawdry affairs. Veronica looks horrified that she just may have contributed to the guy's death. I'm not sure Wiedman's actions totally make sense here. He doesn't owe Amelia anything, and whatever's left of the $250,000 doesn't seem worth committing murder over for someone in his position. On the other hand, I could see Wiedman doing it out of professional pride, which he seems to have in spades. Also, if you're going to commit murder at a Vegas casino, Caesar's Palace seems like as fitting a place as any.
By the way: more Wiedman, please.
Hospital. VMVO wonders how she's going to tell Abel about Amelia. How about "You'll be seeing her a lot sooner than you think!" Pursuant to that, she asks the nurse how Abel's doing, and he sadly tells her it'll be a day or two at most. Jeez, and Veronica thought she didn't like hospitals before.
Cut to Abel's room as VMVO tells us that she's not, in fact, going to tell him. Well, that's probably better than my suggestion. Veronica wistfully tells Abel that Amelia's trying to make it, but that there was an early snow. And lots of ice, too. Abel asks if Amelia's happy, and Veronica manages a smile as she says yes: "Hoofing the Himalayas isn't exactly my idea of a good time, but...she seemed to love it." Abel takes Veronica's hand, and she sits down with him as VMVO opines, "In a family full of well-intentioned lies, one more won't hurt." Well, by that logic, you could keep telling lies forev...ah. Well played, Mars. Well played.
Cut to Veronica entering Duncan's room as VMVO tells us that at least she gets to curl up with her "adorable, honest boyfriend." Well, I know they're setting up a point here, but Duncan DIDN'T TELL HER ABOUT VISITING MEG, LIKE, TWO WEEKS AGO. So perhaps you'll admit that the point might be slightly flawed. Veronica sees "Duncan" lying on the couch with a magazine over his face, but I don't blame her for thinking it's him, since NO ONE ON EARTH WEARS THAT MUCH ARGYLE. Also, it is his room. Veronica crawls on top of him, and he puts her arms around her. To her credit, she realizes it isn't Duncan before Logan starts talking: "It's the sweater, isn't it? Chicks can't resist argyle." That's got to be a shout-out. Veronica jumps up, and when Duncan appears, she asks him what Logan's doing there. Logan says he's out a house, so he lives there now. Which means the sitcom is actually Three's Company, only with the potential for a lot more sexual confusion. Duncan apologizes for not telling Veronica. I guess those remedial Spanish classes kept him pretty busy.
Keith sneaks into a warehouse where the salvaged bus is being housed. He takes a look around the bus with a flashlight. I'm assuming he thinks the forensic team has already completed its examination; otherwise, I can't believe he would risk contaminating the evidence like this. A deputy's voice calls out, prompting Keith to drop to the floor of the bus. This gives him the angle to see that a dead rat is duct-taped under one of the seats. That must have been the noisome odor Dick complained about in the season premiere. Nice, although I'm not sure the rat's corpse would be quite so intact here. Oh, I'm sorry -- I'm talking when I should be DUN DUN DUN-ing. My bad.
Awesome episode -- so tight and so well-paced. I didn't realize just how much I missed certain characters until I saw them onscreen again.
time: a creepy child-abuse episode. I won't be telling you about it, though -- Jacob will. Be nice to him or I'll sic Wiedman on you. See you in two!