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It's here, dears. It's finally here. The day for which we've yearned and prayed has at long last arrived. It's time to plant a "For Sale" sign outside Klaus Haus. I know in my heart, this fandom could raise enough money to pay for the swanky sort of moving service -- you know, where the moving company not only picks up, hauls, and delivers your belongings, but packs and unpacks them, as well. I doubt Kickstarter would accept us though, so I'll just get on with covering "The Originals."
Well, I'll get on with it in a moment. First, I want to mention what I best love about spinning the Mikaelssons off onto their own show. Simply put: everybody wins. The cast members don't lose jobs; they get new jobs in which they anchor a new series. More writers and crew members will be hired. Williamson and Plec will get new, fancy feathers in their caps. Those fans who are sick to death of The Originals overwhelming The Vampire Diaries, get their (our) show back. Those fans who can't get enough of the Mikaelssons, get a new show, featuring characters they (we) love. Y'all know I both love The Originals and loathe how they've co-opted The Vampire Diaries. If the CW picks up this show (please, please, please, please), they get a second series -- one which has blossomed out of one of their more popular offerings. Heck, it will even bring more readers and forum members to TWoP. This is like a win win win win win win win win situation.
Now, onto the episode of The Vampire Diaries, entitled, "The Originals." This is more a review than recaplet. Here's why: I hate pilot episodes. Well, no. I hate covering them, particularly in recaplet form. I usually hate covering them, because they have to do so much heavy lifting -- in terms of establishing characters, backstory, premise, etc. Since this is a "backdoor" pilot, we're spared some of that exposition. Because most of the characters on our screen are new, however, the lack of exposition isn't always a good thing.
Thanks to last week's tip from Katherine, Klaus heads off to the Big Easy, to figure out why witch Jane-Anne Devereaux (Malaya Rivera Drew) has him in her sights. Before he gets there, we see Jane-Anne with a familiar face -- Hayley, the werewolf (Phoebe Tonkin). Jane (I can't keep typing Jane-Anne, because it pisses me off) gives Hayley a map and tells her where she might find biological relatives. In actuality, Jane is setting up Hayley. Jane's sister Sophie (Daniella Pineda) is none too pleased about it, but cooperates nonetheless. One thing is clear, while Jane is saying goodbye to Hayley, she manages to snag a few strands of her hair, undoubtedly for some dark purpose.
Alone a night on a swampy road, Hayley's car overheats, but that's only because Jane is in a cemetery, casting what looks to be a major spell. When Hayley tries to call a tow truck, Jane's spell interrupts the call. , it knocks out Hayley. Sophie and her gang/coven are there to find/catch/capture/kidnap the girl.
Once Klaus arrives in New Orleans, he finds a witch and asks about Jane, but she won't cooperate, because all of the local witches are subservient to a vampire named Marcel (Charles Michael Davis). Marcel is an old protégé of Klaus, and is chief vamp in charge. He even controls the witches -- a plot point which is understandably not resolved. It's frustrating, though, that it's not even explained. At any rate, Marcel agrees to introduce Klaus to Jane. And I guess he sort of does, but he then immediately kills her. Farewell, Jane-Anne. Don't let the door hit you in the Can-Can.
The rest of the episode revolves around Klaus's choices and the blessed Elijah's intervention. Elijah knows Klaus excels at screwing up his own life, so he decamps to New Orleans to get a bead on the new intrigue. He discovers Hayley is pregnant with Klaus's child. No, you're right. Vampires are not fertile. Werewolves, however, are. Klaus might have been turned into a vampire, but he was born a werewolf, so I guess he's not shooting blanks and we just need to accept that.
The local witches are more or less holding Hayley and her unborn sprog hostage, unless and until Klaus takes out Marcel. Klaus is disinclined to care about any of it. Elijah offers to handle the situation immediately, but the witches claim they have a process and timeline for taking out Marcel (and one which we never learn, so it feels even more contrived than it sounds). This contrivance, and Marcel's inexplicable power over the witches weakens "The Originals" as a stand-alone episode. More interesting to me is the Caroline doppelgänger (not literally), Camille (Leah Pipes) -- a human who captures Klaus's eye and his interest.
In the end, Klaus manages to intimidate Marcel and his minions, and Elijah manages to convince Klaus to welcome the news that he'll be a father. Back home in Mystic Falls, Elijah tries to persuade Rebekah into abandoning both Mystic Falls and her quest for the cure and subsequent proms. With Klaus's little spawn on the way, she can have a baby in her life, and they can have another chance at functioning as a real family. Katherine wants Elijah to leave his family and come with her. He can no more stop believing redemption is possible with Klaus, than he can where she is concerned. In the end, Elijah gives Katherine a tender kiss on the forehead and tells her goodbye. It's too bad there aren't two Nina Dobrevs, because it would be fun to watch Katherine and Elijah on a new show.
Meanwhile, the Salvatores still have Elena locked in the dungeon. She's slowly desiccating. By episode's end, Damon feeds her a bag of vervain-laced blood. Elena knows he's trying to make her feel through misery, but claims she won't break. If torture isn't outright mentioned, it is strongly implied. Stefan appears at the cell door, enters, and closes the three of them in. (When that door closed, did any of you think of Angel locking the lawyers in the wine cellar with Darla and Drew?)
I'll be back with the full recap, ASAP. In the meantime, please grade the episode at the top of the page and then come on over to the forum, where the gumbo sticks to your ribs.
Want more? The full recap starts right below!Housekeeping: a tip of the hat to the kind reader who tweeted me about the unpardonable sin I committed in the recaplet. I typed "Drew" when I meant "Dru," which actually has nothing to do with the episode, except that I made a reference to a scene in Joss Whedon's Angel. I know better, and I'm so sorry. When I'm writing, my brain tends to run ahead and sometimes auto-pilot typing fails. Still. I can't believe I typed "Drew" for "Dru." Grr argh. Let's leave the ugly past behind us, and travel to a brand new, beautiful future where The Vampire Diaries is no longer an overstuffed, yet possibly undercooked turducken. A future where the turkeys have a dedicated plate in Mystic Falls, our Original ducks share a spacious platter in New Orleans, and that rubber chicken of a sire bond is running around with its head cut off, far far from all of us -- maybe on that impossible island off the Nova Scotia coast. Are you ready? Okay.
Previously on The Vampire Diaries, Elena cried. A lot. The Salvatore solution was to shut off her humanity. Then of course, they had to deal with a humanity-free Elena, so they drugged her and locked her up. No wonder she can't choose between these charmers. In other news, Elijah remained ridiculously appealing. Katherine left Klaus a letter warning him that a witch in New Orleans, named Jane-Anne Devereaux, is plotting a move against him.
Currently on The Vampire Diaries we open in the dungeon of Mossy Manse, where Elena is starving. Upstairs in their lavish parlor, her tormentors, oh, wait, I mean would-be suitors, blah a lot of blah ditty doo about how hungry she'll have to be to break and flick her humanity switch in the more desirable direction.
Thank goodness Katherine arrives, and gets the Salvatores off their seemingly endless conversation on how best to control their holy grail... er... girlfriend. They're a bit surprised she's so bold as to appear in Mystic Falls, since Klaus has been trying to kill her for the past several centuries. Katherine is pleased to announce that werewolf Hayley (Phoebe Tonkin) proved the secret getting Klaus out of their lives -- for good.
Sidebar: While I can believe the Salvatores would think Klaus is still dwelling on Katherine, I can't believe Katherine is still worried about it. Dear Future Petrova Doppelgängers: If an Original Hybrid doesn't manage to kill you within the first century after you've pissed him off, (by ensuring you weren't used as some sacrifice in his self-serving ritual) and if that same Original Hybrid (and there's only one, so far as we know) eventually finds another Petrova Doppelgänger, but fails to kill her too, and then discovers he instead needs her to be a wet nurse for his baby hybrids, and if that wet nurse can't even serve as a wet nurse anymore, in part, because the Original Hybrid drained her of her blood, so the local lady doc healed her with vampire blood, and then the Original Hybrid's sister killed the Petrova Doppelgänger, thus ensuring she too would become a vampire, I think it's safe to assume that while the Original Hybrid may still hate you for having gotten one up on him, and probably for being you, your murder probably isn't high up on his to-do list, so chill. And now, without further ado, we travel to...
New Orleans. Day. There's some beautiful footage of (the real) New Orleans in this episode. It's makes me want to go there, preferably before Klaus arrives, although I wouldn't mind running into Elijah. The opening footage is stylish and the show already feels more grown up than its progenitor. Hayley is sitting at a bar. The bartender is the aforementioned Jane-Anne Devereaux (Malaya Rivera Drew), who will henceforth be known as Jane, because I'm lazy. When Hayley admits her passion for the joint's Gumbo, Jane nods toward the kitchen, where her sister Sophie (Daniella Pineda) is bleeding "a piece of her soul into every dish." There should be Board of Health regulations against that shit, but no. Whatever. Hayley hasn't been able to find a single person who remembers her biological family.
Jane makes plain with the truth. "Because Hayley, people like you were run out of here years ago." Hayley plays obtuse, so Jane heads out from behind the bar. From the kitchen, sister Sophie gives them the side-eye. Taking the seat to Hayley, Jane shows Hayley a local map and circles a location on the bayou. She says if Hayley heads out there, she'll find the droids werewolves she's looking for. Jane fingers Hayley's hair as she warns her to be careful. "It's the last place you'll ever want to go." Once Hayley is gone, Jane discreetly raises her hand to show her sister she managed to get a few strands of their dupe's hair. [That's one fun little hobby you've got there, Will. --Buffy] We cut to the...
Road. Hayley is driving. The writers are trolling me with quick cuts. We cut to the...
Cemetery. Sophie begs Jane not to "do it" and adds she could be wrong about Hayley. Jane says Sophie is never wrong and adds, "She's the only way we're going to get to Klaus." Oh, so right there, I know Hayley must be pregnant. No, I don't think she should be pregnant, but the hybrid mythology is murky enough that I can see where it's possible. More on that later, when the pregnancy is actually revealed. Sophie wants to get someone else to do the spell, but Jane says half of the other witches don't believe Sophie and the other half are afraid. Sophie thinks the witches have good reason. "We're going to get caught!" Jane stops desecrating a grave long enough (okay, setting up her witch works) to rise and face her sister. "We don't have any other option, Sophie." So this plan isn't Sophie's choice? Jane grabs the hands of her tearful sister and adds, "Now go. You know what you need to do." Sophie nods. After a time cut, we're in the...
Cemetery. Night. Jane works her magic. We cut to Haley driving through (in? on? near? by?) the bayou. There are going to be a lot of cuts here. I'm not making a new paragraph for each one. Jane stays in the cemetery and Hayley stays lost. The road or "road" she's on stops at the water's edge. Back at the cemetery Jane is still doing that voodoo she does so well and lights yet another candle. On the bayou, Hayley's map bursts into flames. She throws it out the car window. Jane handles a steaming chalice of nasty. Hayley starts backing up. Jane sets down the chalice. There's some wonky visual effect. Hayley's car gets stuck. She gets out. Jane does some more magic. Out of the car now, Hayley calls for a tow truck. Jane starts humming. There are more wonky visuals. Hayley hears a high pitched tone on her phone, throws it down, and stomps on it. Jane continues plying her dark arts. Hayley is surrounded by people. Jane raises a candle and blows out the flame. Hayley passes out. Sophie catches the poor girl, right before her head hits the ground and looks up at her co-conspirators. Title card.
New Orleans. Day. A tour guide welcomes us to the "dark side of New Orleans." I'm predictable, so I hope he'll mention they have cookies, but instead, he pronounces it a "Supernatural playground, where the living are easily lost, and the dead stick around to play." Well hell, we have that back in little old Mystic Falls. I should note that this is a real, live (or at least undead) New Orleans tour guide named Jonathan Weiss. Get the scoop (and other Originals tidbits) from Erin La Rosa, at Buzzfeed. We see Klaus on a bustling street, before we cut back to...
Mystic Falls. Rebekah asks Elijah what the hell Klaus is doing in the Big Easy. Can I just pause the TiVo and look at him? No. Oh well, you're probably right. His voice is part of his appeal. He uses it to say that Klaus heard there are witches conspiring against him. While Rebekah looks like she just saw a cute kitten, Elijah appears concerned and adds, "So knowing our brother, this is a mission to silence and slaughter." We cut back to New Orleans, where Klaus approaches a fortune teller (Karen Kaia Livers), but then we cut right back to Mystic Falls, where Rebekah is failing to conceal her delight at the prospect that the French Quarter witches may have found a way to take out Klaus. Elijah is the moral, immortal, killing machine, so he tells her that for family's sake she should dial down her glee. Rebekah and I both say, "What family?" She adds that they are, "...three distrustful acquaintances who happen to share a bloodline. I, for one, hope they've found a way to make that traitorous bastard rot." She takes a sip of her drink and we cut back to...
New Orleans. Klaus sits at the fortune teller's table, but she says she has nothing to say to him and in the process of trying to get him to go away, reveals that she knows he's a hybrid. Narcissist that he is, Klaus has to mention that he's The Original Hybrid.
We cut back to Mystic Falls were Elijah tells Rebekah he's off to find out who is making a move against their brother. When he finds out, he'll either, "...stop them, or I'll help them." He shakes his head. "Depending on my mood."
New Orleans. Klaus tells the fortune teller (FT) he's looking for the witch, Jane-Anne Devereaux. Klaus knows she's lying, and can tell she's a real witch, so he threatens her, all the while smiling and using his most fetching voice. FT says, "Witches don't talk out of school in the Quarter. The vampire won't allow it. Those are the rules. I don't break Marcel's rules." Klaus's ears not only pick up at that name, but float off his head and do triple back flips, before returning to starting position. "Marcel's rules? Where do you suppose I might find Marcel?" We cut to a...
Club. This sick hot guy (played by Charles Michael Davis) is singing, "How You Like Me Now," and he's been a bad, bad, bad, bad man. I'm glad he's Marcel, because otherwise, I'd be unable to follow Klaus on his new quest. I'm staying right here. [Hello, salty goodness. --Cordelia]
Elijah's only surviving brother enters the club, but enough about him. Let's get back to Marcel. I think he needs us to tell him we like him just fine. He hopes off the stage, meets his buds at the bar and takes a well-earned drink, then he spots what's-his-face. The Original Hybrid. You know the one. His name starts with a K. Is it Kevin? Keith? Whatever. I bet Marcel knows it. "Klaus?" Who-sa-ma-whatsit says Marcel's name too, like we don't all know that. Marcel tells um K...endrick, "It must be about a hundred years since that nasty business with your Papa." K...ermit shrugs and says, "Has it been that long," but who cares? Let's check in with Mmmarcel. [Like, 'mmm cookies'. --Dawn]
Addressing K...lingon, Marcel says, "The way I recall it, he ran you out of town -- left a trail of dead vampires in his wake." K...link says, "And yet how fortunate you managed to survive." For once, I agree with K..evork, who continues: "My father, I'm afraid, I recently incinerated to dust." True story, bro, but it's about time for Marcel to weigh in. He proves me right, because Marcel and I are tight like that. "Well, if I'd known you were coming back to town -- if I'd had a heads up..." K...ooper says, "What, Marcel? What would you have done?" then he gets all up in Marcel's million dollar grill. Marcel being the Marcel we've known and loved so very long, squints his gorgeous eyes and says, "I'd have thrown you a damned parade," then he shoots K...umpel a thousand watt smile so bright, even K...ryptonite has to smile in return. Marcel hugs whoever that is, and says, "Niklaus Mikaelsson, my mentor, my savior, my sire. Let's get you a drink." He puts his arm around um...er... N...inKompoop and leads him to a...
Back Room. It's drinks all around as the men catch up. K...orbin seems a little bitter, when he notices Marcel's minions are sporting daywalker rings, but Marcel assures him that only the inner circle are afforded that privilege. In the course of conversation, Marcel reveals he has the local witches wrapped around his finger. K...ory laughs, which seems silly, because witches are people too, and Marcel is just so frigging Marcel. Once K...oren reveals he's looking for Jane-Anne Devereaux, Marcel tells him to come with him. "It's showtime." I hope that means more of Marcel singing, as he wonders how I like him now, but I'm sadly disappointed.
Out on the now dark streets, Marcel continues to be charming and welcoming, and K...umar continues to be an insecure bore. Marcel refers to the nightwalkers (vamps without daywalker rings) as "riff raff" but he's really smooth about it, so we'll let that slide. He snaps a branch off a nearby tree as they walk. I can't concentrate on anything while this man is on screen, but somehow, that manages to catch my eye.
When Marcel puts two fingers in his mouth, I nearly pass out, but I manage to maintain my consciousness, just for you. He lets out a loud whistle. The throng erupts in cheers, because Marcel is here, damn it. Then the crowd parts. A minion leads a bound and gagged Jane to Marcel. Oh crap. Now I have to stop liking him. But I don't wanna! Do. Not. Want. Marcel announces that Jane has been accused of performing witchcraft beyond the bounds of the rules set and enforced by him. Oh frig. Marcel, we had such a beautiful thing going. Why? Why? Marcel asks Jane how she pleads, and then turns to Klaus and adds, "Oh, was that convincing? I studied law back in the '50s." After a beat, he adds, "Hold that thought." He returns to Jane and asks her how she pleads. Jane lies that she didn't do anything. Marcel knows it's a lie and blathers on about how he's aware of the witches' every move. They can't do magic in town, without getting caught. He starts peeling the leaves off his branch, until it's a switch. My soul bleeds into everyone's Gumbo. Marcel tells Jane that if she confesses what she's up to, he will grant her leniency."
Things are going to get bad now, which I can tell, because I have no problem remembering Klaus's name, and that he is looking at Jane with concern. When Marcel inclines his head towards Jane's and says, "Hey, I am, after all, a merciful man," I want to believe him, but I am too old to do so. Jane doesn't look it, but she must be too old too, because she says, "Rot in Hell, monster." Marcel tells Jane he'll give her one more chance, but me and my bleeding soul know he's lying. He takes a few steps away from her, then turns back to face her and flicks the switch so that it cuts her throat. As Jane clutches her wound, gurgles and starts to fall, Marcel sing-songs, "Or not." Klaus looks near tears. He recoils from the scene, as if he wasn't a monster who recently ripped out the hearts of 12 of his own hybrids. When Jane falls to the ground, I keep trying to will Klaus to "vamp-run" to her side and feed her his blood, but he doesn't. The crowd cheers and celebrates. Marcel rejoices. My love for him dies. Klaus stands idly by like he's Duncan Kane. Have I used that reference before? Whatever. Don't judge me. I'm mourning my affair with Marcel. Commercial.
After the break, Klaus confronts Marcel. He wanted to talk to Jane. Marcel blahs about how he got caught up in the show. Witches still think they have power in this town, but Marcel has to show them they don't. [People can't do anything they want. Society has rules and borders and an end zone --Xander] Marcel sweetens the pot by trotting out some lesson about showing force, as Klaus taught him. Marcel assures Klaus that anything he could have learned from Jane, he (Marcel) will learn for him. Klaus lies that it no longer matters. Neither he nor Marcel are convinced, but Marcel proposes a meal and heads off. Klaus lingers but a moment, then stops Marcel's minion, Thierry (Callard Harris) and asks if there are any more Devereaux witches. We cut to...
Sophie's Restaurant. Sobbing as she chops her non-soul ingredients, Sophie gasps and turns to find Klaus. She knows it's him too. He wastes no time in letting her know he witnessed the death of her sister. The feel of the scene is that Sophie has intuited it. Klaus wants to know what Jane wanted with him and the reason Marcel killed her. Sophie holds her tongue when she notices two of Marcel's minions enter. Klaus's assurance that they aren't with him doesn't sway Sophie. "I know you built this town. But this is his town, now. He killed my sister because she broke the rules. So if I talk to you in front of them, I'm ." She stalks off to the kitchen.
Klaus heads to the bar and grabs the two minions by the neck. I've officially reached new character overload. At first, I can't even be certain that the white one is not Thierry. And right now? I don't care, but thanks to IMDb.com, I suspect he is Vampire 1 (Chris Osborn) but for the rest of this recap, he is White Minion. Klaus asks if they're following him. White Minion says Marcel told them they were Klaus's guides. Klaus tells them if they follow him again, they'll do so without a spine. They're interrupted by a blonde bartender. Later, we'll learn her name is Camille, so let's just call her that, right now. Fun Vampire Show Fact: Camille is played by Leah Pipes, who got her first break playing the little girl with an eye growing out of the back of her head, in the Angel episode, "The Thin Dead Line." Perhaps that's why all these Buffy quotes have been inserting themselves in this recap. Anyhow, Klaus slaps a hundred dollar bill on the bar and asks Camille for her oldest Scotch. When she heads off to fetch it, Klaus cautions the minions that if Marcel wants to know what he's up to, he should ask directly. We cut to the...
Alley. Sophie goes outside and stands above an impromptu alter. The candles are already burning, but she grabs one to light another (or to light something afire -- what do I know from witchcraft). She jumps at the sound of a door slamming shut. A vampire Stealth-Jumps behind her, but then disappears. She turns to find White Minion, so she tells him, "The doors work, you know." What? Whatever. White Minion is upset she's doing magic, but Sophie doesn't care. She turns to Black Minion (aka Vampire 2, played by Derek Roberts) who is now visible behind her, and says she's praying to her dead sister. She encourages them to pay their respects. White Minion says Marcel wants to know why the Hybrid was looking for Jane. Sophie snarks that they could have asked Jane themselves, had Marcel not killed her.
When Sophie turns to stare down Black Minion, White Minion Stealth Salvatores up behind her, but before he can bite her, he is lifted off the ground and up out of sight. Oh, it must be my blessed Elijah, and not a moment too soon. Black Minion looks around. Hearing a thump, he turns to find what I believe, in this season of gore, is White Minion's brain. Black Minion looks up and then back toward Sophie, but Elijah now stands between them. I keep telling you people I'm not an action recapper. Suffice it to say, Black Minion ends his days staked to the upper portion of the building. Elijah straightens his lapels. "I'm Elijah. You've heard of me?" Sophie nods nervously, when she really should be swooning. Elijah draws near. "So why don't you tell me what business your family has with my brother?" Commercial and time for a cold compress.
Klaus returns to or arrives at some place where there are a lot of people and vamps, partying and feeding. Klaus is not amused. Spotting another of Marcel's Minions which IMDb reports is Diego (played by Eka Darville), Klaus asks where Marcel is. Once Diego is less than forthcoming, Klaus dons his game face, blathers about how werewolf bites can kill vampires, so since he's part wolf, he'll ask where Marcel is, once more time. Marcel swoops in and starts blathering about his rules. Klaus demands to know why he had him followed. Marcel asks him to "let it go," for him. Klaus reluctantly relents and asks Marcel, "Why don't you show me what you've been up to -- in my town?"
Marcel leads Klaus to the rooftop and exposits about how his management has helped New Orleans grow into a tourist destination. One of his key moves was teaching the humans how to look the other way. Klaus wants to know why the once fierce witches now live in fear. Marcel allows that he may now have an ace up his sleeve that keeps him chief monster in charge, or maybe he's just bluffing. When he takes a bite of vervain, it does not escape Klaus's notice. Marcel admits while it burns, it limits his vulnerability. He asks Klaus not to hold the "chaperones" against him. Soon, their conversation turns to the pretty young blonde who is walking down the street below. Klaus recognizes her as the bartender at Sophie's. Since she's walking alone at night, he figures she's either brave or dumb. Marcel says, "Let's see. Brave? I let her live. Dumb? She's dessert."
Marcel jumps down to the street and warns Camille that it's not safe alone. She responds that she has a black belt in Karate. So? Dumb it is. Not really. I mean, yes, dumb, but I think we're supposed to accept this as evidence of bravery. Marcel laughs and flashes his trademark grin, but I'm now immune. And sad. Klaus looks on from above, but he's distracted by the blessed Elijah. "Good evening, Elijah. [...] What an entirely unwelcome surprise." Elijah squares his shoulders. "And? What an entirely unsurprising welcome." Elijah asks Klaus to follow him, but Klaus insists he's staying put until he finds out who is conspiring against him. Elijah says, "I believe I just found that out for you." We cut to the...
Cemetery. Elijah leads Klaus to a crypt. Inside, Sophie Devereaux is waiting for them. Klaus recognizes her. Sophie starts with flattery, which is always a good tact where Klaus is concerned. She and the other witches know he started this town, and that Marcel was but an orphaned street rat, until Klaus made him what he is. She insists Marcel is out of control, doing and killing what and who he wants. She claims she's going to kill Marcel, and Klaus will help her.
Klaus chuckles and turns to Elijah. "This is why you brought me here?" Elijah tells Klaus to hear out Sophie. Klaus is pretty sure he's not going to waste any more time. It's then that another witch or two more lead in Hayley, who tells Klaus he must listen to them. Klaus cracks up and mocks the idea that a drunken one-night stand could hold any sway over him. After more back and forth, they reveal that Hayley is pregnant with Klaus's sprog. Sophie has a special gift and she has er...um sensed it. Elijah spells it out for Klaus, just in case his denial has affected his hearing. As we cut to commercial, allow me this...
Sidebar: Yeah, I know and agree that the undead don't and shouldn't be able to breed, but Klaus is weird. I haven't gone back and watched old episodes, or read old recaps, so I'm open to correction. Without the benefit of said correction before writing this, let me tell you my understanding. Esther cheated on Mikael with a werewolf and conceived Klaus. She passed Klaus off as Mikael's son (and maybe even had reason to hope he could be). A plague struck. Esther decided to make her children immortal. I believe (but am not certain) that this initial human-to-vampire conversion involved killing the Mikaelsson kids, but I could be wrong. It's not that important though, because regardless, on this show, werewolves are pretty much humans who carry a gene that is only activated once and if they make their first kill. So Klaus, who was carrying this gene, is turned into an Original Vampire. He then makes his first kill, but Esther does a spell that locks down his werewolf side. He never manages to break that until he's in Mystic Falls a thousand years, later. So, while vampires are undead and cannot procreate, werewolves are dormant until they kill. Then their gene activates and turns them into basically immortals (unless you rip out their hearts), yet they are still human enough to procreate. Is it messy? Yes, but in this season of Shane Silas Shenanigans, the Bore Cure, and Sire Bonds, it's some of the neater mythology available. Just accept it and move on, or reject it and don't watch The Originals fall. It's not worth your anger. It's a fantasy story.
Back at the crypt, Klaus rejects the idea that vampires can procreate. Sophie and I refer him to my sidebar above. Sophie pronounces the pregnancy one of nature's loopholes. Klaus tells Hayley to admit she's been with someone else. Hayley tells him she's been kidnapped by the witches and held up in an alligator bayou. She certainly would have 'fessed up, had someone else been the baby daddy. Sophie explains that Jane did a spell that confirmed paternity. "Because of Jane-Anne's sacrifice, the lives of this girl and her baby, are now controlled by us. If you don't help us take down Marcel, so help me, Hayley won't live long enough to see her first maternity dress." Poor Hayley is all, "Wait. What?"
Elijah stands at the ready. "Enough of this. If you want Marcel dead, he's dead. I'll do it, myself." Because Sophie has been compelled by the script, she answers, "No. We can't. Not yet. We have a clear plan that we need to follow. And there are rules." Oh whatever, witchipoo. Seriously? You have my blessed Elijah standing there saying, "Yo, I got this," and you tell him there are rules? Die in a fire. Klaus feels me on this. He tells Sophie she shouldn't dare to command and threaten him with his perceived weaknesses. He is off, like the bride's pajamas. Elijah's silky tones implore Klaus to listen, so he turns on his vamponic hearing and hears his spawn's heartbeat. For a moment, Klaus appears to be softened by reason, but then he steels himself, turns to Elijah or possibly Sophie and says, "Kill her and the baby. What do I care?"
Out on the streets, Elijah catches up to Klaus and pleads with him to accept this gift -- this chance to start over and take back everything that was taken from them. There's a bunch of Original exposition that amounts to the fact that all they've ever wanted was a family. When Klaus suggests he's ready to kill everyone instead, Elijah wonders if he really wants to return to Mystic Falls to be hated by everyone. Klaus is more interested in power than a child, but Elijah reminds him that family is power. "Love, loyalty. That's power." There's more exposition of their pitiful past. Elijah's point is that 1,000 years hence, this corruption of Klaus is barely recognizable as a brother. "This is us. The Original family. And we remain together, always and forever." That was my junior prom song. It was old even then though, just sayin'... Take time to tell me you really care, and we'll share tomorrow, together... Sigh. Elijah asks Klaus to stay here. He'll stand by Klaus, if only he saves this girl and their child. Klaus is having none of it. "No." Commercial.
Still on the streets, Elijah calls Rebekah and reports Klaus is the same as ever -- running in the wrong direction. Rebekah tells Elijah to let him run. "That child, if it's even his, is better off without him." Elijah points out that the family is worse off, without the child. Aping me, Rebekah wonders when our darling Elijah will stop search for Klaus's redemption. For Elijah the answer is simple. "I'll stop searching for his redemption, when I believe there is none left to be found." What is this? Buffy?
Rebekah ends the call, then turns to find she's not alone. Katherine is there. She tells Rebekah "he'll" come around. I guess her "he" is Klaus, because Katherine adds, "You know Elijah. He won't stop until he's convinced Klaus to do the right thing." Rebekah scoffs at the idea that Katherine has a real bead on the brothers. Katherine corrects her. "[Klaus] and I are the same. We manipulate. We thirst for power. We control. We punish, but our actions are driven by one singular place inside. [...] We're alone and we hate it. Tell Elijah to call me when he comes home. I'll be waiting for him." Good thing you're a vampire, Katerina, otherwise I'd worry for you as you held your breath.
New Orleans. It's still party time. Marcel catches up to Klaus and quickly determines his sire is in a mood. Klaus wants to understand Marcel's power over the witches, but Marcel is closed-lipped. "You know I owe you everything I've got, but I'm afraid I have to draw the line on this one. This is my business. I control the witches in my town. Let's just leave it at that." Translation: The writers don't yet know, so don't expect any stand-alone revelations from this backdoor pilot.
Klaus pontificates then implies Marcel was once a freed slave. It's ugly and I'm gagging, so just...no. What burns is that Marcel is now, "Prince of the city." At that, Minion Diego wanders over. Marcel tags Klaus as jealous and then rubs his success in Klaus's face. It's Marcel who got rid of the werewolves and witches. Klaus is welcome to visit, but New Orleans belongs to Marcel. "And I'm not the prince of the Quarter, friend. I'm the king! Show me some respect." Klaus looks around like he's not immortal and "decides" he's outnumbered. He then swoops in and bites the neck of one of either Thierry or one Marcel's unnamed followers, then says, "Your friend will be dead by the weekend, which means I've broken one of your rules, and yet I can't be killed. I am immortal. Who has the power now, friend?" Because this is season 4, he backs out of the bar with his victim's blood running down his chin.
Klaus makes his way to a place where there's not only live music, but also live painting. See the earlier linked Buzzfeed link for details. As Klaus watches the artist spill his soul onto the canvas, he spies Camille (who is certainly not only Angel's little girl with an eye on the back of her head, but also a Caroline substitute). Klaus approaches her. Camille remembers him as the "hundred dollar guy," asks Klaus to call her "Cami" and starts talking about the artist. While she doesn't paint, Cami has no trouble interpreting the artist, his mood and motivation. "He's angry -- dark, doesn't feel safe, and doesn't know what to do about it. [...] He wishes he could control his demons, instead of having his demons control him." Here, my loves. Take a seat. I've got ice packs at the ready, to treat the swollen wounds you've certainly received via the anvils Julie Plec just launched on your fair heads. Cami continues: "He's lost. Alone. Or maybe he just drank too much tonight. Sorry. Over-zealous psych major." Klaus, the big baby, is moved to tears which won't fall. "I think you were probably right the first time." When Cami turns to ask Klaus a question, he is gone.
Down the road, Klaus sits on a nearby branch and glowers. Elijah arrives. Klaus is in no mood for a pep talk on the joys of fatherhood, but that's okay, because our darling Elijah knows when to zip it. Klaus waxes nostalgic about his fondness for the Big Easy. Elijah knows this is one of the few places their family has ever been happy. Klaus blahs about his fear and paranoia, particularly where Mikael was concerned. New Orleans was once his home. Now Marcel has obtained everything he wanted -- power, family, loyalty. "I want what he has. I want to be king." Elijah asks, "And what of Hayley and the baby." Klaus turns to face his brother. "Every king needs an heir." That's the way you do it, Niklaus. Commercial.
New Orleans. Cemetery. Day. Elijah and Sophie walk past the graves, as he asks how this will work. Sophie says, "Your brother needs to cement his place in Marcel's world -- his inner circle. The daywalkers -- that's where we begin. They're his friends. His family. We'll be hitting him where it hurts. We cut to...
Marcel's Lair. Klaus arrives and plays the generous and beneficent sire. He acknowledges that where the Mikaelssons once failed New Orleans, Marcel has succeeded, then bites open his own wrist and feeds his healing blood to Thierry. I guess. Klaus acknowledges that the Quarter is Marcel's home. He'd like to stay a while, provided that's okay with Marcel. Marcel smiles and chuckles. We cut to the...
Street. Parade. Klaus watches for a moment, then takes out his phone and calls Caroline. Upon reaching her voice mail, he emos, "Caroline, I'm standing in one of my favorite places in the world, surrounded by food, music, art, culture. And all I can think about is how much I want to show it to you. Maybe one day you'll let me." At that, he hangs up. We cut to...
Mystic Falls. Rebekah asks Elijah if she's supposed to forget her life there, and her quest for the BORE. Elijah breaks it down. "The cure was a fool's errand. I mean, taking it would have stripped you of everything you are, and for what, more high school proms?" Rebekah answers, "I wanted to be human. I wanted children and a family." Elijah reminds her he's standing before her offering both. Rebekah wonders if he'll dagger her, should she refuse. Wrong brother, Beckster. The blessed Elijah simply says her family needs her." Her choice is her own. Rebekah considers for a moment then closes in. "I owe him nothing. I wish him no joy -- no love. I will stay here and live my life the way the way I want to, and if you're smart, I suggest you do the same." With that, she's off.
Once Rebekah is gone, Katherine appears and tells Elijah that baby sister is right. "Klaus is stark raving mad, not to mention completely irredeemable." Instead, Katherine suggests the two of them set off on their own new adventure. She's lost too much of her life to Klaus and knows Elijah has, too. "It's our turn Elijah, please." When she touches him, he whispers, "Katerina," then raises his hands to her hair. Elijah moves his face so close to Katherine's I can nearly feel them kiss, then he lifts his face up, past her nose. Eventually, he settles on her forehead, gives Katherine a chaste peck and says no more than, "Goodbye." With that, he's gone. We cut to...
Mossy Manse. Dungeon. Damon opens the door to find a desiccated Elena. Shaking his head, he tells her she looks terrible. He cares, even if she doesn't and offers her a bag of blood. Elena drinks greedily until it finally sinks in that it's been laced with vervain. Damon doesn't care if it make her feel angry, scared, hurt, or whatever, provided she feels. Baby that's what love is all about. Elena summons whatever bravado she retains and rises to her feet. Although Stefan then appears, she makes her speech. "You boys want to play games? Go ahead. Let's see who breaks first, me or you." Stefan returns her glare and closes in on her, yanking the door shut behind them all. Oh great. The boys are going to torture her into being good. Blah!
I'll be back with coverage of "She's Come Undone." In the meantime, please grade the episode at the top of the page and then come on over to the forum, where the gumbo sticks to your ribs, but we never let anyone bleed anything into it..