Utterly Compelling

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Caveat Lector: I am tired of compulsion on The Vampire Diaries. Painfully tired. I'm tired of compulsion, the sire bond, Shady Shane's spirit tea, hypnosis and everything else that resembles it. I feel bound by these bonds that bind and gag. I couldn't be more tired of all of it had I been compelled to be tired of it. And this episode is full of it. It's full of compulsion, too. Ba dump dum. Okay, I heard you groan. I'll see you week. What? You want a "Catch Me If You Can" recaplet? Really? After how I botched the last one? You want one considering my staggering plot device fatigue? Fine, but when it comes to being a glutton for punishment, Rebekah has nothing on you.

Over at Zanadew (just typing Zanadew makes me feel better), Jeremy balks at killing "innocent people." Germ granted, these were once innocent people, but now, thanks to Klaus (and a side order of Damon) they are transitioning vampires. Yes, you love your sister and she's a vampire; a good one, but come on -- how many of these critters are going to be as "compassionate" as she or as awesome as Caroline, at least at first? These newbies don't even have an elder vampire who cares enough to tutor them. They're just going to end up blood sucking fiends and will probably go home to kill off their families in the most appalling ways, so just stake them and get it over with.

While hunters cannot be compelled, they sure can be coerced. When Jeremy balks at killing the baby vamps, Klaus compels those baby vamps to kill Matt. Not funny, Klaus. Not funny. I'm going to need an elegant bracelet and an OMG Cindy + PONIES sketch to get over that one. Since Damon already ordered Elena to come to him, she shows up and ferries Matt to relative safety. And no, Elena doesn't seem overly disturbed that Damon bought into Klaus's turn-a-town plan, because that might help her regain some likability, which is definitely not in the script.

Kol shows up at Zanadew (still smiling at that) and kills all the baby vamps, because he's the only one with a clue as to what a spectacularly bad idea it is to disturb Silas's grave -- even in search of a vampirism cure. Since Damon won't be swayed from "helping" Jeremy grow his hunter's mark into a complete map, Kol compels Damon to kill Jeremy. Wackiness ensues.

Meanwhile, Rebekah and Stefan search Shane's office for Silas's headstone. They have plenty of time to do it, because Shane has been arrested (more on that later), so they reminisce about how much fun sex was when they were young and crazy. By the end of the hour, they'll be traveling to crazy town again, but before they board the crazy train, they have to deal with some crazy who has been compelled to keep them from getting their hot little mitts on the headstone.

When Rebekah compels the interloper to talk, he BITES OFF HIS OWN TONGUE. I can't figure out who sent him there with such well-thought out In Case of Compulsion instructions, but while I'm afraid the guy might simply be Kol's minion or Shane's one phone call, I'm hoping Katherine or Elijah are behind this. I'd jump for joy to see either, provided neither ever again compels someone to bite off his own tongue (although I'm not above a "Kat Got Your Tongue" headline). I don't know why Rebekah doesn't compel the interloper to write down his answers, but since I'm not anxious to see him bite off his fingers too, I'll let that go.

Somewhere in there Elena calls Stefan for help with the Damon/Jeremy situation. Yes, I know Jeremy is her little brother and Elena is doing what she has to in order to protect him (and keep Damon from doing the unspeakable… a second time), but I still find her gall a bit dumbfounding. Her utter nerve -- and, later, her overwhelming sense of entitlement -- makes me sputter at my TV. And I love Elena (although the writers are slowly stripping away my reasons), so I can only imagine how those of you who already hate her must be feeling after "Catch Me If You Can."

Stefan snaps Damon's neck, drains his blood to keep him weak and locks him up in the Mossy Manse dungeon. Elena can't visit him, because if she does and Damon invokes the sire bond to force her to free him, he'll kill Jeremy. Somewhere in there, Elena gets into a completely inappropriate jealous little snit over Stefan (and Rebekah). By the episode's end, Elena tells Jeremy she has the stupidest plan ever… although she doesn't describe it exactly like that. If he kills Kol, he'll be killing Kol's entire vampire line, so Jeremy's mark should insta-complete. Yes, because killing Originals has always been so easy on this show. That is her plan. Save me.

Now, onto Shady Shane. Bonnie seems to be losing control of her Expression magic, at least until Shane chants at her that she's in control. After April drops a dime on Shane to Sheriff Forbes and Bonnie's father, Interim Mayor Rudy Hopkins (who, henceforth shall be known as Interim Dad), Liz arrests Shane, even though he's not in her jurisdiction (more on that in the recap). Bonnie assumes Shane is not guilty of talking Pastor Cliché into killing the Council -- at least until Shane admits it is the truth.

Shane smooth-talks Bonnie by explaining the Council killings don't amount to a massacre. They were sacrificed in a ritual meant to raise Silas. Once Silas has risen, Shane says all those lives will be restored. When Shane tries to manipulate Bonnie with the idea of raising Grams and saving her from eternal spiritual torment, Bonnie Expresses herself by mystically hurting Shane. She is relentless, until Shane uses his "You are in complete control," trigger to calm her down.

While I'm tired of the compulsion device and feel the show is leaning a bit too heavily on it, it was set up at the beginning of the season so it's clearly part of an ongoing theme. I do appreciate that. With so many characters set to graduate high school, Season 4 is a great time to explore ideas of freedom and control. I like the entire idea. It's the execution that itches.

The ample use of compulsion (and the like) in these most recent episodes strikes me as lazy. You want a character to do something that could keep him from reaching his only goal, but can't come up with a compelling reason for his actions? Compel him, and then you don't have to bother yourself with crafting a compelling motive. You want people to reveal ugly secrets? Compel them, and then you don't have to waste time thinking up a more organic catalyst. You want a character to tap into dark, human-sacrifice fueled magic, even though she's the show's moral compass? Have a manipulative professor feed her some spirit tea and hypnotize her. You want a character to betray someone, but don't want to have to make her deal with the consequences later? Blame it on the sire bond. When it's all over, you can wave away all repercussions. I suspect I've mentioned this before, but just in case I haven't, here's a fun fact: I keep typing sire bone instead of bond.

I'm trying not to be totally negative, though, so let's look at how the writers have woven their pet themes into the blood-stained tapestry that is Season Gore. With vervain in short supply, nearly everyone is vulnerable to compulsion. Those who aren't compellable aren't free agents, though. Since the Originals are still in town, even normally uncompellable vampires can be compelled. All the vampires are willing to compel humans (and in the past, have sometimes done so at the request of other humans), but everyone objects to being compelled. This is a neat study in hypocrisy.

Bonnie is under Shane's control. Interim Dad is trying to control her, too. Being a hunter makes Jeremy want to kill even those vampires he'd rather spare, so he's struggling against that. To gain control of himself, Jeremy has to submit his mind to Shane's shenanigans. And then there's Shane, himself. He may not be compellable, but either his lust for power, or his grief (or more likely, a combination of both) controls his every move.

Thanks to the sire bone bond, Elena -- who is trying to control her vampirism so that she doesn't go off the deep end and lose her humanity -- is under Damon's control. Damon is trying to let his love for Elena guide his steps, but was having trouble staying on the straight and narrow even before Kol compelled him to kill her brother. Now he's locked up in his own house and under the control of his own little brother -- the very one who all but forced him into completing his vampire transition in the first place.

Stefan is a walking, talking case study on control issues. Caroline is nearly always in complete control. Tyler fought so hard to free himself from the sire bond, but had to force some hybrids into freeing themselves (only to be slain by the sire whose bonds they'd just broken). Rebekah wants control of the cure. As always, Klaus wants control of the whole world, so he can force someone to love him.

Looking at how it's all been set up make me feel like I've been too cranky about the use of compulsion (and the like). I suspect it's because we had two compulsion-heavy episodes in a row and like I said in last week's recap, the characters could get on the Internet and order some damned vervain. Since there are nearly weekly product placements for smart phones, that's a hard option to ignore. That said, the writers have carefully steeped every episode in their theme. That is to be applauded.

I will be back with the full recap, ASAP. In the meantime, please grade the episode at the top of the page and then come on over to the forum, where we are working on Expression magic that will cause vervain to spring up all over Mystic Falls, and in the writers' room, as well. You are in complete control.

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Want more? The full recap starts right below!

I'm trying to think of the last time I wrote something about an episode of TV that made me see a show in a whole new light. If I've done so before, it was probably in a Lost recap, but honestly, I can't remember. I might have to go back further than that -- perhaps to my Buffy fandom heydays. I know the most recent time it happened, though. It's right there, in the recaplet. See that link up there? If you're feeling discouraged with season cure gore four, click on the recaplet link and read the last five or six paragraphs, starting with "I'm trying not to be totally negative..." In trying not to be negative, I accidentally swung myself around to full-on positive. I don't care if you love or hate The Vampire Diaries, except that you're nice people and I want you to enjoy your entertainment. My analysis isn't transformative by any means, but if you're feeling discouraged, I offer it to you, in hopes that it will give you a different perspective.

Speaking of perspective, I'm still trying to decide how culpable Damon is -- concerning the Lakehouse Town deaths, so I'm offering up my own version of "Previously, on The Vampire Diaries, in lieu of the show's. After watching "Catch Me If You Can," a couple of times, I went back and watched "After School Special" again... well, I fast-forwarded through all the Breakfast Club nonsense and just watched the scenes at the Lake House. Klaus shows up and finds Jeremy hasn't yet killed any more vampires. He later tells Damon that there's a town full of people just waiting to be turned and killed. When Damon balks, Klaus ribs him about trying to be good for Elena, then says he's already taken action. In the scene, we learn Pizza woman has been turned. When she attacks Matt, Jeremy kills her. Later, Damon and Elena talk on the phone. Before he tells her to come to him, he says that he's set on getting her the cure, and that will involve him doing things she won't like. By episode's end, he takes Jeremy and Matt to the Zanadew (never not going to smile at that) Lounge. The bar patrons are all in transition. When Jeremy says to Damon that he thought he was going to convince Klaus to do this another way, Damon says, "Well, I thought about it, and then I realized his idea was better."

Here's what I'm trying to figure out. Did Klaus take out the whole town before talking to Damon, or only the Pizza Woman? Did Damon give the okay for the massacre? Even if Damon did agree before Klaus slaughtered the Zanadewians, how much does it matter? It's not like Damon holds any sway over Klaus, and he knows it. As mercurial as he can be, Damon has a strong pragmatic streak. He knows bucking Klaus is only going to lead to more trouble.

What's the moral issue at hand? Did Damon okay these deaths/transformations before they took place? Did Klaus kill them first? Is Damon only guilty of arranging the slaying of baby vampires, some of whom might not end up any worse than an Elena, a Lexi or possibly a Rose? When I recapped "After School Special," I felt that regardless of when Damon agreed to go along with Klaus, in agreeing to get Jeremy to kill these pawns. Damon damned himself. Now I just don't know. Part of the reason for my waffling is that, on The Vampire Diaries, vampirism isn't black and white -- particularly now that Elena is a vampire. No matter how she feels about Connor's death, to me she killed him in defense of herself and Jeremy. Another reason I'm waffling is that Elena didn't seem all that bent out of shape about it. She didn't like it, but she let it go. Of course she's laboring under the sire bond, so how good is her judgment? What do you think? Okay, granted I too think it's time for me to get on with the "Catch Me if You Can" recap, so here goes nothing.

We open on my poor Matt running through the dark woods. Run, Pudding Pop. Run! A vampire catches up with him and sinks his fangs into a delectable dinner of Pudding Pop neck. Jeremy arrives and saves the day. Matt sinks to the ground. We flash back to the Zanadew Lounge.

Jeremy refuses to kill the baby vamps. I wonder how hard Klaus is laughing on the inside. When Jeremy tells Damon he won't kill innocent people, Damon points out that the Zanadewians are no longer people. When Klaus tells Jeremy he doesn't have a choice, Jeremy summons his 16 or 17 year old bravado, calls Klaus a dick, and reminds him hunters can't be compelled. Okay, again, all you uncompellable characters need to cease and desist with reminding the monsters that they cannot compel you. Seriously, it will go much better for you if you do. Let them do their little eye-voodoo, act like a Stepford Wife, and then go out and do exactly what you want to do. Oh sure, they'll probably catch on (or remember) eventually, but at least you -- and more importantly Matt -- will get a little lead-time.

Jeremy doesn't listen to me. Klaus does and informs Jeremy that all the baby vamps are compellable, so he'll compel them to kill Matt. When Damon tries to remind Klaus of the terms of their deal, Klaus scoffs. Okay, I'm annoyed here because once upon a time, these characters used to talk and react like real people, didn't they? Granted, Jeremy is in an impossible situation, but since Matt's life has just been threatened, why doesn't he acquiesce and try to talk down Klaus? If it's still a moral issue for Jeremy -- that is, if he's not willing to kill an "innocent" vampire until it is in defense of Matt's life, why doesn't the more morally grey Damon suggest it? I'll tell you why. The show is too busy cramming stuff into each scene to let the scenes breathe -- to let the characters react in a more organic way. Let the characters drive the story for a while because ever since the Originals came to town, plot has been driving drunk. Don't get me wrong, I still appreciate the quick pace, but less so these days because the overarching story suffers. Speaking of which, we flash forward to the...

Woods. As Jeremy is telling Matt to get up and going, Damon arrives. Jeremy accuses Damon of putting them in this position. Damon says he was just trying to get it all over with. "You're the one who pissed off Klaus." Oh come on, Evil Pixie Monster. You're the one who unloaded a bunch of wooden bullets into the Original Hybrid's chest. I'm not inclined to become a Klaus apologist, but why do these characters always refuse to even try to strike a bargain with Klaus? No, he can't be trusted, but he's pretty clear about what he wants. He wants the cure. Like them, he too wants Elena human again. You guys have things in common is what I'm saying. Why start out at odds? Sure you might get there eventually, but you could at least try to another way.

Anyhow, Jeremy and Matt run toward the lake house. Damon remains behind to slow down the assault of the baby vamps. Because this is season gore, he rips the heart out of one and we get to look at it in living color. Yes, there's blood on Damon's hand. There is blood on just about everyone's hands this season, figuratively and literally. A vampire tackles Matt in the woods. Elena arrives in the nick of time. While I understand why she's come to the lake house, it's a little too convenient that she's in the woods, isn't it? Whatever. She gives Matt's assailant a broken neck nap. Oh, so she's going to be such a pure vampire that she can't even kill a vampire who is trying to kill her lifelong friend? Give me a break, Show. Let the sinner sin a little. Jeremy leads his sister and his friend back to the cottage. The baby vamps emerge from the woods. We cut to...

Morning. I'd say Elena gives Damon hell for getting the boys in this situation, but it's really more like heck. And since the sire bone bond is still at issue, I feel disinclined to invest too much thought or emotion into their scenes. I will note that Elena tells Damon she doesn't care about the cure if getting it means putting her loved ones in danger. When Elena gives in too easily and says they need a plan, Damon tells her to get Matt back to Mystic Falls. He and Jeremy will finish off the baby vamps. Elena tries to balk at leaving Jeremy in Damon's care, but Damon tells her to trust him, and I don't think she has any real choice but to obey. We cut to...

Mossy Manse. When Stefan enters his bedroom, he finds Rebekah reading his diary, so he tells her that knocking is still a thing. Heh. Just because they're tentatively on the same team doesn't mean she intends to trust him, and good on you Beckster, I say. So many people have read Stefan's diaries that really, he ought to just publish them on WordPress. When Rebekah tries to poke Stefan about Elena, he ignores her, so Rebekah plays Exposition Fairy for a moment and tells Stefan she wants to steal Silas's headstone. "Team Shane will have to join Rebekah, and Team Klaus will be left out in the cold where he belongs." We cut to...

Shane's office. Shane is encouraging Bonnie to meditate, but she's too upset that the spell she cast to protect Shane nearly killed April. Shane blathers some manipulation at her, but Bonnie's in a state, which is made clear when the candle between them flares. When Bonnie frets about not being able to control her magic, Shane says what will later prove to be the magic words. "Bonnie, look at me. I'm here with you. You don't have anything to worry about. You are strong. You are focused. You are in complete control." Now I'm bummed I already used a Stepford Wives reference because the Bonnie we know and love (or hate, as some of you do) really isn't at home when she echoes Shane.

Liz Forbes and a deputy bust into Shane's office. When the deputy handcuffs Shane, Shane reminds Liz the college isn't even in her jurisdiction. I wish I had time to go back and watch the episode in which Bonnie, Elena and Damon first visited Whitmore College. I remember that in watching it, I had the impression that it was a bit of a road trip, but I can't remember if anyone on the show ever said if it's actually outside of Mystic Falls. Given how regularly Bonnie is trotting over there, and how regularly Shane visits town, it would have been better to set the college on the outskirts of town. This business of Liz arresting Shane out of her jurisdiction is just insulting to the viewers, if you ask me. When Bonnie asks what's going on, the sheriff tells her to talk to her Interim Dad.

Damon arms Jeremy and they head into the Zanadew Lounge. Although the juke box is blaring, the place seems empty at first. There are beer bottles on the floor, upended bar stools and, since this is season gore, there's also an enormous blood stain. Damon and Jeremy walk through it, even as they follow it out to the kitchen, wherein they find an actual pile of freshly slain vampires. That's got to be a Board of Health violation.

Kol appears and confesses that he killed the baby vamps. Harkening back to their time in Colorado, Kol refers to Jeremy as his mate and says the three of them need to have a chat. Commercial.

Kol takes the Exposition Fairy wand. Once he's done waving it around, he raises the specter of Silas. I guess in a TVD recap, I should specify that last sentence is figurative. Anyhow, Kol says, "A few hundred years back, I came across a group that worshipped Silas. His followers told me that he would rise again, and when he did, he would trigger the end of all time. Being an immortal, you can see why I'm opposed to time's ending." Really? Don't you ever get sick of it, Kol? A thousand years is a good run. He ignores me and continues speechifying. Once upon a time, he murdered all of Silas's worshippers, and now he's got to deal with the Fellowship of the Falls, which may just raise Silas in their search for the cure.

Damon pooh-poohs all this Silas talk as just another bogeyman story. I remember when I used to feel that way about Satan Klaus, and an argument can be made that I was right. Seriously, how less scary is Klaus than he once was? I really hope the Originals series takes off, so I can have my show back. Kol tries to appeal to his old dupe/friend, Jeremy, but the Germ pretty much tells him to go shit in his hat. Kol doesn't want to kill Jeremy because then he'd have to deal with the hunter's curse. I forget: do we know if Klaus killed all of the Brotherhood of the Five, or did he have some help from his own brothers? Anyhow, when Kol threatens to rip off Jeremy's arms, Damon rushes at Kol and orders Jeremy to run. Good going, Damon. Those arms are a national treasure. I'm still left wondering why these people never try to talk to each other. Hell, why can't they even pretend to go along -- something like, "Gee Kol, you make an excellent point. Let's get some more information on this Silas character." I know. I know. It's not in the script. Once Jeremy is gone, Kol gets the upper hand on Damon, and then we cut to...

Shane's office. When Stefan complains to Rebekah about being unable to find Silas's headstone, Rebekah says, "Don't Ripper out on me. We'll find it." Okay, was Becky at cheering practice with Caroline when we got the Ripper 411? Because (lightly) slamming shut a file cabinet drawer isn't exactly the Ripper's trademark. Wait. No. This line is even more egregious because Rebekah was in love with Stefan during (one set of) his Ripper days. Oh, Show. "Don't Ripper out," isn't clever enough dialogue to justify this nonsense. You disappoint me. What doesn't disappoint me? That 411 thing I said -- no, not because it's not terribly dated slang. It certainly is that, but because I wasn't even thinking about this being episode 4-11, when I typed it. Look, I'm easily amused, okay.

And now, because there isn't enough underage drinking on this show, Rebekah digs out Shane's stash of herbs, acts as if it's marijuana and implies Stefan needs to get high and relax. Ugh. When Stefan isn't interested, Rebekah trots out the peer pressure. Their conversation turns to their time together in the 1920s. Once Stefan admits that he had fun once in his life, Rebekah waves the jar of herbs in his face and tempts him to have some more. Since she engineered Shane's arrest, Rebekah knows they have plenty of time to get spirited-tea-ed up, and still find the headstone. Blah. We cut to the...

Sheriff's Station. As Liz is interrogating Shane about the Council explosion, Bonnie and her Interim Dad watch on closed circuit TV. When Bonnie jumps to Shane's defense and says he was trying to help Pastor Cliche through his depression, Interim Dad suggests that Shane is a charismatic, fast-talking manipulator who preys on the weak-minded. Bonnie takes umbrage at the suggestion that she too is Shane's weak-minded prey because she is Shane's weak-minded prey. When Interim Dad tells her that April and Rebekah informed them that Shane engineered the Council slaughter, Bonnie insists on going into the interrogation room and talking to Shane. Interim Dad isn't crazy about the idea, but he lets her go because hell, it's not like there are laws and procedures in this town.

When Bonnie enters the interrogation room, which I need to call "Gitmo," Liz "Jurisdiction Be Damned" Forbes tells the girl it's not the time, but Interim Dad has his girl's back today. Once Bonnie is alone with Shane he snarks about Interim Dad being confused about the format of Parent-Teacher conferences, which would be more amusing, were Shane Bonnie's teacher. Bonnie tells Shane that Rebekah told the Sheriff and Mayor that Shane confessed to the massacre. "I know she's lying." Mindful of the camera trained on them, Shane masks his mouth with his hand then whispers, "You know, the truth is, she's not." Wow, he must be pretty confident of his control over Bonnie, if he's admitting that. We cut to...

Gilbert Gables. Matt gives Elena a well-deserved scolding for leaving Damon in charge of Jeremy's training. Then he shrugs in that cute little Pudding Pop way he has and tries to blame her bad choices on the sire bond. When Elena says the sire bond doesn't work like that, Matt says, "All I know, Elena, is that the old you never would have left Jeremy with Damon, especially after what happened last night." Elena seems disturbed by the truth in this statement, but before she can respond, her phone rings. It's Jeremy, who tells Elena that Kol attacked them, and while Jeremy barely escaped, Kol still has Damon. We cut to...

Klaus Haus. Elena appeals to Klaus for assistance with the Kol situation. Klaus gloats for a moment, and generally lords it over Elena, but in doing so, he admits that while he'd love to cure Elena and make more hybrids, he'd also really love to destroy the cure so that the Fellowship of the Falls can't use it against him. When Elena begs Klaus for his help, he enjoys the moment, then phones Kol and calls him off, specifically ordering him to stay away from Jeremy. We cut to the...

Zanadew Lounge Kitchen. Kol gives Klaus his word that he "won't touch" Jeremy, then ends the call. When the camera zooms out, we see Damon staking himself. Been there, done that, Pixie Monster. Kol has a little more fun compelling Damon to injure himself. Once he's satisfied that the compulsion works, Kol points out that Damon probably fancies Elena even more now that she's among the evil dead, and says that Jeremy is really her last tie to humanity. Deep down, Damon must want him dead. When Damon rejects this idea, Kol plays with him for another moment and then compels Damon thusly: "You're not going to remember what I say. You're going to find Jeremy Gilbert, and when you do, you're going to kill him." Commercial.

Gilbert Gables. Inexplicably, Elena thinks her deal with Klaus to call off Kol also means that Jeremy no longer needs to slay any vampires and grow his mark. When Jeremy sets her straight, Elena suggests they wait until Damon returns to figure out a new plan. Jeremy is appalled that Elena still trusts Damon after all that's gone on. He's convinced Damon doesn't care so much about saving Jeremy's life as he does about saving the map to the bore cure. Seeing her little brother is on edge, Elena lays a hand on Jeremy's shoulder. He shakes her off and explains that his hunter instinct is on overdrive right now. When Elena looks down and sees he has picked up a specially marked hunter's stake, she's unnerved. When she points it out to Jeremy, he is horrified. Letting the stake drop, Jeremy tears up and admits that while he really wants to find the cure for Elena, he doesn't know how he's going to do this. I know, Jeremy. Go kill Damon and Stefan. They both deserve it, and that's two more steps to the bore cure. We cut to...

Shane's office. There's still some spirit tea smoldering away on Shane's desk. Aren't we just so cheeky and edgy with the drug wink-wink nudge-nudging? Yawn. Rebekah gets in some good digs at the young, inexperienced, self-centered, pedestrian Elena while talking up her own cultural literacy. The whole point of this scene is to move Rebekah and Stefan from uneasy teammates to sex buddies. Rebekah insists their time in the '20s was fun because they didn't care about anything and only did what felt good: drinking, feeding, sex. Stefan disagrees. "The sex wasn't good because we didn't care. It was good because you were crazy. Crazy sex is always good." Rebekah reminds Stefan he was no model of sanity back then, and then tells him to stop caring. They're about to kiss when we cut to the...

Door. We're still in Shane's office. I'm not sure where Rebekah and Stefan are hiding, though. This is all sort of weird timing, if you ask me. I had to rewatch just to make sure we were in the same room. Anyhow, Random Red Shirt (let's call him Randy) enters the office. He snoops around until he finds the headstone. Once he does, Rebekah appears and says, "Good, you found it. The question is who are you?" Maybe he could answer you, Becky, if you weren't throttling him. She doesn't listen and instead sticks a ceremonial dagger into Randy's gut. We cut to...

Mossy Manse. Night. Elena opens the front door to find Damon on her porch. Don't get excited, kittens. There'll be no smoochies, tonight When Elena asks Damon what happened, all he says is, "Kol happened," on account of being compelled by Kol to forget that he's compelled to kill Jeremy. At Elena's mention of her little brother, Damon asks where he is and insists he has to apologize to the boy for being tough on him. We cut to...

Gitmo. Bonnie shuts off the big video camera and tells Shane that Interim Dad is giving them a minute to talk. When Shane motions to the other camera in the corner and asks her if she's sure it's safe to talk, Bonnie says, "Yeah, I don't lie. I'm not you." Shane claims he was always going to tell Bonnie the truth but put it off because he was unsure how she'd react. Bonnie says what any of us would. "Bad. That's how I react to murder." It's then that Shane gets to work on her. He insists the Council deaths aren't a massacre, but rather a ritual, and when Silas rises, he'll restore all those who died in his service.

To her credit, Bonnie declares Shane is "full on crazy," and starts to walk out, but he manipulates her into coming back, by reminiscing about their first session together. Invoking the memory of Grams and her spiritual suffering, he then dangles the possibility of seeing her again as Bonnie bait. It works. Bonnie shuts the door and we cut to the...

Mystic Grill. Damon and Matt snark at each other, then Damon asks where Jeremy is. When Matt says he thinks he's out back, Damon heads off. Elena remains behind to see if Matt is doing okay. This gives Damon time to spot Jeremy and vamp out momentarily -- but long enough that Jeremy sees the transformation -- then head after the boy. He's only deterred when Elena calls him back. This gives Jeremy time to slip back into the kitchen. He cocks his gun and faces the doorway, but then he spots the opening that leads to the tunnels. By the time Damon gets to the kitchen, Jeremy is gone.

The sire bond comes in handy, in that Elena is so overly sensitive to Damon that she knows something is wrong. When she asks, Damon -- who is still scanning the room for his prey -- says, "It was Kol. He must have compelled me." I'm glad Damon is able to think his way around this, despite the compulsion because I find the whole thing frustrating. Damon comes clean with Elena. "If I find Jeremy, I'm going to kill him." He then vamp-runs (I'm still doing penance) to the tunnel opening and disappears through it. Elena is left gasping us into commercial.

There's a lot of tunnel wandering that doesn't need recapping. What's worth noting is that all the while Damon is stalking Jeremy, he has the presence of mind to shout out to the boy that he's been compelled to kill him, and that he'd better run. We cut to...

Shane's Office. As she is using Shane's ceremonial dagger to torture Randy, Becky takes a lick of his blood and realize he's full of vervain. Since that's the case, she figures he's not compelled. Stefan points out that perhaps he was compelled first, and dosed with vervain after. Anyhow, Rebekah wants to know who is after the headstone, so Stefan suggests taking Randy home, wait 'til the vervain is out of his system and then compel him to confess. While I'm wondering if Stefan should even think he can override one compulsion with another, Randy goes and bites off his fool tongue! His own fool tongue. Before Rebekah can force Randy to write down what he knows, he grabs the dagger and stabs himself in the neck. Oh, Randy. Well you came and you gave without taking, but then you bit off your tongue and killed yourself. It's going to take some work to make that scan. Looking at the now lifeless Randy, Rebekah asks Stefan, "Was it my bastard brother, or yours?" Stefan adjusts his thinking cap and suggests, "Maybe it's option number three. There's another team in the race." Oh, great.

Back at Gitmo, Bonnie warns Shane not to play on her Grams-induced guilt. Shady insists he isn't playing on anything, and then continues to do just that. When he reminds Bonnie that her reckless use of magic brought on Grams' unending spiritual torture, Bonnie loses both her temper and control. She Expresses herself by mystically squeezing Shane's hand. He doesn't know enough to shut up and blathers about her being out of control, so Bonnie hurts him a little more. When Interim Dad bursts in, Bonnie throws water at him, which becomes a barrier of flames in front of the doorway. Interim Dad tries to appeal to the good in his interim daughter, but it's Professor Shady who finally gets through to her with the magic words. "Bonnie, look at me. Now take a deep breath. I'm right here with you. You are in complete control." When her face goes blank, Shane smiles and says, "That's it." The flames vanish. Bonnie releases her magical grip on Shane and looks at him with a tear running down her cheek. When she leaves the room, Shane tells Interim Dad that Bonnie is a prodigy. "With my guidance, she can be one of the most powerful witches in the world, but without it, she is a time bomb." When my oldest son, who just turned 17, was little, he loved the Disney version of Aladdin. Specifically, he loved Jafar and would repeat his lines. I can still hear his little-boy voice saying he is the most powerful sorcerer in the world. No, I don't know why I shared that, except that his birthday fell between the episode and the recap, and while I'm so pleased with and proud of the young man he's become, I wish I had that little boy back, too. [Note: Loving mom aside, it's kind of like how Jafar thought that as a genie he'd be all-powerful, but the way that he asked for it ended in him getting thrown into that little lamp forever. Maybe? -- Rachel ] Anyhow, Interim Dad glares at Shane as we cut to...

Shane's office. While the new dynamic duo are still standing by dead Randy, Stefan's phone rings. Rebekah grabs it out of his hand and answers. It's Elena. When Rebekah says that Stefan doesn't want to talk to her, Elena says, "Then he can listen. I know you might not care about me right now, Stefan, but Kol compelled Damon to kill Jeremy. They're somewhere in the tunnels. It's one giant maze down here and I can't find them. So, if you still care about the cure or about Jeremy, then maybe you can come help. When Stefan doesn't say anything, Elena's face crinkles up, half in sorrow, half in anger. Shaking, she whispers, "Okay," then ends the call. Rebekah tells Stefan, "That is an interesting predicament, for both of us."

Over in the tunnels, Damon is still shouting out warnings to Jeremy even as he hunts him down. Jeremy downs a bottle of stupid pills and then slices the palm of his hand so that Damon will smell the blood and be better able to track him. Damon's nature and the compulsion oblige Jeremy's foolhardy plan. Damon rushes to where Jeremy is, or was. Now, only the boy's jacket is lying on the floor. When Damon bends over to pick it up, Jeremy tries to get Damon in a headlock. Damon vamps out and bites Jeremy's arm, then flips him to the floor. "Dumb move, Jer. You can't fight me in closed quarters." Jeremy draws his gun and shoots Damon a couple of times in the gut. With Jeremy's blood still dripping from his mouth, Damon drops to his knees in pain and orders Jeremy to shoot him in the heart, because he isn't going to be able to stop. When Jeremy fires, we cut to commercial. There's no suspense here because clearly the show isn't killing off Damon, at least not yet.

When Damon wakes in the tunnel, he digs a wooden bullet out of his head and berates Jeremy's stupidity, even though the boy is gone. Rising to his feet, Damon again starts yelling to Jeremy that he should have killed him when he had the chance. The moron has even left a blood trail for Damon to follow. We cut to...

Where are we? Are we at Klaus's place or Rebekah's? Regardless, Kol is there. He and Rebekah snit at each other, then Rebekah decides to dagger him in the back. The problem is, she hesitates, even though she says that if she does it, "Damon's compulsion ends and this is all over." Kol plays the sibling sympathy card and bemoans the state of their family. "This cure has ruined us and it hasn't even been found yet." Rebekah says the family was ruined long before they knew about the cure. This gives Kol enough time to swing around, pull out the Son of White Oak stake and hold it to Rebekah's chest. "I won't let you raise Silas." Before they can have a sensible conversation, Klaus swoops in and calls an end to the foolishness, even as he pushes Kol away. Kol leaves in a huff. No, none of them have matured an iota in a millennium.

Alone with Klaus, Rebekah tries to catches her breath and she complains to Klaus that Kol was going to kill her. Klaus smiles. "Well, I think you need a lesson on how to properly dagger a sibling." At first, I wonder if these two will reach a new detente, but then Rebekah says, "Burn in hell," and swans off.

Before Damon catches up to Jeremy in the woods, Elena shows up and pleads with Boyfriend B. "I know you don't want to hurt Jeremy, so please stop." Damon turns to her and says he can't. When she insists he's strong enough to resist the compulsion, Damon says, "Why because Stefan did?" Elena says, "Because I love you. Because you love me. You'd do anything for me, so please do this for me." Damon tries, he really does, but when he smells Jeremy's dripping blood, it's too much for him. His eyes vamp out a little. Damon says, "Sorry, Elena," then Stealth Salvatores after the Germ.

Jeremy's really hurting when Damon finds him. He's got the presence of mind to cock his weapon, though. Aiming at Damon, he struggles to his feet. Damon stops and tells Jeremy, "Shoot now." As Jeremy fires the gun, Stefan appears and pushes Damon out of the way and against a tree. "Hey, brother. Long time no see." Elena catches up just in time to see Stefan snap Damon's neck. Stefan licks his lips, looks at his ex and says, "You're welcome." Oh Bitter Stefan, I heart you so much.

Damon wakes on the floor of the Mossy Manse dungeon. Can't he even be in the room with the cot? I'm pretty sure there's a cell with a cot, right? Stefan grabs the Exposition Fairy's wand, or perhaps it's the Contrivance Fairy's wand. Maybe there's a hybrid Expositon/Contrivance Fairy. Oh wait, that's only a stake Stefan's holding. At any rate, we learn that since they have no vervain (which might be the dumbest continuing contrivance of the series to date) to weaken Damon, Stefan bled out big brother to keep him weak. When Damon suggests going after Kol to make him break the compulsion, Stefan scoffs about getting right on that. Ha. Damon slumps back to the floor, coughs, and asks Stefan to let him see Elena. Bitter Stefan is in the house. "C'mon. You know you can't do that. With the sire bond, all you have to do is tell her to let you out of here. It's too risky." Damon sighs. "You're really enjoying this, aren't you?" Stefan sneers then says, "It's better for Elena if you stay in here for now, at least until we find the cure. And then once she's no longer sired and you're no longer compelled, you can both do whatever the hell you want." When Stefan starts to leave, Damon asks him to wait, but his pleas fall on deaf ears. Stefan slams the door shut and takes a last look at his brother through the bars.

Back upstairs, Stefan runs into Elena who wants to see Damon. Stefan points out how dumb that would be. When Elena says she won't let Damon out, Stefan says, "You won't have a choice. You're sired." When Elena doesn't say anything, Stefan says, "Is that all?" Oh Stefan, you shouldn't have asked. Elena's been unlikable enough lately, as it is. This gall that is about to come out of her mouth is about to push her over into full-on insufferable. "Stefan, what are you doing with Rebekah? She tried to kill me." Stefan says, "And this will be the second time that Damon tried to kill Jeremy." He shrugs and adds, "So I guess nobody's perfect, right?" Elena shakes her head in disbelief, but Stefan makes an excellent point that people on our boards have been making for nearly ever. Look, forget about Damon trying to kill Jeremy this time. He has been compelled and struggled against it as best he knew how. Hell, he begged Jeremy to shoot him in the heart and kill him. But that first time Damon snapped Jeremy's neck, he did not know Jeremy was wearing the Protect-o Ring, and he just did it because he was in a snit.

Anyhow, hellbent on trading in her Miss Compassion crown for a Miss Overly-Entitled crown, Elena says, "Are you trying to punish me? I don't know how many times I can apologize." Stefan cuts her short. "I never asked you to. You can do whatever you want, Elena. I really don't care." Elena knows the title isn't hers yet, so she pushes just a little more. "You're hurt. And you're acting out, Stefan. This isn't you." Stefan smiles with his eyes, but it's a chilling smize. "Sure it is. You've just never seen me like this. You don't know what I look like when I'm not in love with you." As the power of his words washes over Elena, she nearly recoils. Stefan waits a beat then adds, "I'll let Damon know you stopped by." Elena bites her tongue, but not in a Randy way, and walks out. We cut to the...

Mystic Grill. Bonnie tries to apologize to Interim Dad, but he doesn't want her to apologize. He just wants to get her some help. Bonnie insists she doesn't need it and balks at this, but Interim Dad is insistent. Don't worry, Bonnie. He's a black man in Mystic Falls. How long can he last?

Gilbert Gables. Klaus arrives to fetch Jeremy. He wants to take the boy and his mark under his protection. Jeremy says that's a big pass-a-dena. Klaus tries to warn the Gilberts about Kol, but Elena says they'd rather take their chances on their own. Klaus hasn't yet been invited in, so he moves as close to Elena as he can. "Fine. But when Kol does come, and he will come, be sure to let me know -- preferably before he burns your nice little home to the ground." He looks past Elena, to Jeremy. "As for you, hunter. There's no shortage of people to turn or loved ones to threaten, so sleep well. We'll plan on finishing our work tomorrow." When Klaus leaves, Elena shuts the door and we cut to...

Rebekah's Room. Beckster is sipping a martini when Stefan barges in. When she calls him on it, he snarks that he thought not knocking was their thing. When he chides her for failing to dagger Kol, Rebekah fails to mention that her soft underbelly got the best of her, and just says, "Well, the white oak stake pointed at my heart make things a little difficult." After catching Rebekah up on the Damon situation, Stefan asks where the headstone is, and reminds him of their deal. Rebekah turns to him. "Considering that you've betrayed me twice and I've betrayed you never, I think I'm acting brilliantly. Especially since we have no idea why that guy was looking for it." She waits a beat and then asks Stefan if he worked things out with Elena. When Stefan asks if she cares, Rebekah says, "Nope, just trying to figure out why you're here." Bitter Stefan has swagger. He stifles a grin as he says, "Do you even have to ask?" Rebekah: "No feelings. No attachments." Stefan moves in close, even though he was already way over the close-talker line and says, "None. Whatsoever." At that, they're off doing the high-speed, rough kissing that leads to high speed vampire sex. Thank goodness the camera spares me. I am glad to see Stefan and Rebekah together for a spell. I just think the vampire sex on this show leaves a lot to be desired. We cut to...

Gilbert Gables. Jeremy is whining that if Kol doesn't kill him, Klaus is just going to force him to kill more innocent people. Oh come on. There have to be some bad vampires out there. There's never been a shortage before. When Jeremy wonders how many kills it will take, Elena gets a Terrible, Horrible, No Good, Very Bad Idea. "If you kill one Original vampire, their entire sire line will die with them. That's thousands -- maybe tens of thousands of vampires. Kol compelled Damon to kill you. You're going to kill Kol, instead." Title card.

I will be back with coverage of "A View to a Kill." In the meantime, please grade the episode at the top of the page and then come on over to the forum. The power of Plec compels you.