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Where to begin? "O Come, All Ye Faithful," is a mess, y'all, but I mean that in the best of ways. After all the sexism of last week, I am so glad to welcome back the gore which is season four (and I hate gore). Let's start at the beginning. Although last week's episode ended with Damon telling Elena he had to free her -- to do right by her -- they wake the morning, in the same bed. To their credit, they're sleeping on top of the covers -- fully clothed. Neither of them are happy about that, but Damon says he wanted to be a gentleman.
Elena has to meet Bonnie and Jeremy at the Gilbert Family's lake house. They have a plan to help Jeremy work through his activated hunter desire to kill his sister. Elena invites Damon to come along, so of course he does. He lets Stefan know where he's going, but dissembles regarding Elena's whereabouts.
Meanwhile, the Event O' the Week is the Winter Wonderland Something or Other. After making Klaus show him the hunter sword, Stefan has Caroline distract Klaus during the festivities, so Stefan can break into his house and steal the sword. He needs to do this, because Tyler and his hybrids plan to magically overcome Klaus, put his essence into Tyler's body, and bury TylerKlaus in concrete. Of course the sword isn't in the safe where Klaus stored it before, and since his quest to cure Elena is paramount (to him) Stefan wants to stop Tyler's plan.
Honestly, the finer details of Tyler's plan are still a little fuzzy to me, but it doesn't matter -- not only because the plan fails (as we knew it would), but also because the plan is a fake plan. It's a fake plan, because what's really happening is that at Shane's bidding, Hayley is trying to get Klaus enraged at his dozen hybrids, so that he'll kill them. Shane wants the hybrids sacrificed so he can access (or more likely manipulate Bonnie into accessing) the evil Expression magic we learned about from Nandi, in New Orleans.
Shane is at the lake house with Bonnie and Jeremy, when Elena and Damon arrive. Jeremy tries to kill Elena straight away, but thanks to training with Alaric, she is able to subdue him. Shane sets to work on hypnotizing the Germ. The idea is to give him a happy place where he can go when he feels compelled to kill vampires he doesn't actually want to kill. Elena is on the short list. In fact, she might be the entire list.
Even under hypnosis, while listening to Elena recount warm family memories, Jeremy wants to slay her. In a fit of genius, Damon suggests Jeremy make Bonnie his happy place, instead. When he does, it works. Jeremy can be around Elena without trying to kill her. Heck, he can be around Damon without trying to kill him. Bonnie must be some happy place, indeed.
When Stefan can't find the sword, he and Caroline want to keep the hybrids from disabling Klaus, so Tyler has his hybrid pack drag the duo to the Lockwood cellar. After Stefan gets a call from Damon, explaining that (thanks to Shane) they don't even need the sword to serve as a key to the cure map, Caroline convinces the pack to free them.
Back in town, at the Mystic Grill, Caroline calls Bonnie to confirm that they can put Klaus's essence into Rebekah's already en-daggered body. Sadly, Hayley overhears this conversation, so she snaps Caroline's neck, because Hayley doesn't want Klaus disabled at all. She wants him to kill those hybrids, after all.
Before Klaus can get to him, Hayley gives Tyler a heads up by telling him her whole Klaus-switch plan was a fake. April Young finds pulseless Caroline lying on the bathroom floor of the Mystic Grill. The thing she knows, Caroline is "alive" again. Caroline calls Stefan, tells him that Hayley is a crazy traitor, and orders him to get to the Lockwood ruins and make sure that Rebekah's body is still stashed there. She then compels April to forget everything she just heard and resume her Miss Mystic duties. The only problem is, April is still wearing Jeremy's vervain bracelet -- a fact Caroline learns from Matt, but only after April is out of sight.
Tyler goes out to the woods and finds the remains of 11 of his hybrid buds -- the ones he worked so hard to free from Klaus's sire bond. Poor Pudding Pup. , he finds Hybrid Kim's body in the cellar at the Lockwood ruins. When he leaves, April steps out of the shadows, steps around headless Kim's corpse and opens up Rebekah's coffin. She's still in there -- magical disabling dagger, and all.
Meanwhile, Klaus is looking to kill Tyler. Instead, he finds poor, tipsy Carol Lockwood waiting for her sober ride home (even though, God love her, she gave her sober ride, i.e. the underage Tyler, a drink earlier in the night). Since Klaus is covered in the blood of his other hybrids, Carol knows he's up to no good and begs him for Tyler's life. Her son is all she has left. Klaus knows that. He also knows she is all Tyler has left, so he drowns poor Carol in the fountain. Satan Klaus is no respecter of beauty, I tell you what.
Susan Walters, I can't imagine you're reading this, but if you are, thank you so much for all you put into your role on The Vampire Diaries. You, your hard work, your character, and your beautiful face will be missed. I hope you return and pay Jeremy Gilbert a visit, someday.
Back at the lake house, Damon knows he has to do the right thing by Elena. He invokes the sire bond and orders her to leave him, lying that her doing so will make him happy. Although she tries to argue at first, Elena must comply. When she's leaving though, she tells Damon she intended to fight his orders with everything she has, but now she can't get past the feeling that she must get in Bonnie's car and go home. That said, his orders don't change her feelings for him, so she leaves him with a kiss. Damon will remain at the lake house with Jeremy, train him to kill vampires, and help him expand his hunter's mark.
Because Stefan is under the impression that Damon already did right by Elena the night before, he returns to Mossy Manse. Caroline stops by for a post-mortem. During their conversation, she reveals that Elena was at the lake house with Damon, all day. And although she doesn't technically break the promise she made to Elena (i.e. not to tell Stefan about Elena and Damon), her non-answers and the looks she shoots Stefan when he asks how "together" Damon and Elena are, leaves no doubt in Stefan's mind. He abuses a nearby chess set, because that's just how angry he is.
"O Come, All Ye Faithful" is a refreshing, exciting episode, and exactly what the doctor ordered to help cure me of the rage blackouts that struck me after last week's misogyny fest. There's a lot more to cover, not least of all where Shane and his Silas quest are concerned. I will be back with the full recap, ASAP. In the meantime, please grade the episode at the top of the page and then come on over to the forum, where we're bending an elbow for Mayor Mama Mulva Lockwood.
Want more? The full recap starts right below!Friday afternoon, I sat down to recap "O Come, All Ye Faithful." Since the show is on holiday hiatus, my plan was to burn through this episode earlier than I usually do and enjoy my time off. I turned on the TV -- not as a stall tactic; I need to watch the show as I recap it. The thing is, the set was tuned to MSNBC. I don't think I changed the channel 'til I shut off the TV, late that night. The Sandy Hook Elementary School slayings are still all I can think about. I can't get those poor babies (and their families) and the heroic faculty members (and their families) out of my mind. And I shouldn't be able to. When something like this happens (and God, how sick is it that there have been other somethings "like this") I shouldn't ever be able to forget it. I am sure I wouldn't feel like recapping any episode of any show right now, but just thinking of Klaus ripping out all those hearts is... I can't go there. I can't make myself put in words all of the thoughts that gallop through my mind when I think of this episode and that scene, in particular.
We (TWoP writers) usually assign headlines (the sometimes-snarky faux titles) to our episodes. Thursday night, when I wrote the recaplet, I gave "The Loneliest Snowflake" to "O Come, All Ye Faithful" (OCAYF). The most obvious associations are both Klaus and his painting. The events of OCAYF have left some of our other characters feeling terribly alone, too. The "special snowflake" meme has been around TV fandom for an age. During last week's focus on the sire bond, my daughter rolled her eyes and said something like, "Being such a special snowflake, of course Elena is one of few vampires ever to develop this rare bond." Then, when Damon was digging through his New Orleans mementos and revealed that another vampire he turned also suffered from sire bond, my daughter said, "Oh, so Damon is the special snowflake." We laughed, and it was on my mind when OCAYF began, so the headline came right to me. Now I hate it. I'm changing it. I don't know to what, yet. I might just use the episode title.
I'm getting rid of the blurb, too. I'm getting rid of the blurb, because I wrote: "Is there anything lonelier than Christmas in Mystic Falls?" Well yes, damn it, because there's real loneliness, and pain and loss. Right now, I flat out refuse to feel sorry for a bunch of fictional people and monsters, yet I don't feel like mocking loneliness either. I think of all the survivors, both in Newtown, CT and beyond. How many people have just had their hearts ripped out? How many more do each day, that don't get so much coverage? Do you see what I mean about discussing this episode?
To my knowledge, no one I love (or even know) lost anyone in that poor little school, but we all lost so much. I know it's likely that at least one of you had some connection to someone in Newtown. My heart goes out to you and your loved ones. I know how trite that sounds. I don't know what else to say. I am profoundly sorry that anyone has to experience anything even approaching this. I pray for peace and strength for you -- for all of us.
I also pray that this country I so love can hike up its grown up pants and do something real and of consequence -- good consequence -- in the wake of this tragedy. We are a smart, resourceful people. We can figure out a sane way to balance rights which are in some degree of natural tension with one another. We can more effectively care for our ailing countrymen. We can better protect our children. Let's do it. I just cut 5,000 words of sermonizing. No really. It was about time I found myself discussing unexploded ordnance in Laos that I realized that perhaps I'd gone on too long, and remembered my job is TV Recapper, not National Responsibilities Coach, so let's get on with the show.
Mossy Manse. Morning. It's the morning after the episode. Elena and Damon have spent the night together, fully clothed, on top of the covers. Elena makes it clear that was Damon's call. Damon says he was being a gentleman, but he's none too happy about it. When he tells her she shouldn't have stayed, she agrees. He rants a little about how he promised Stefan he'd make her leave and reminds her she's sired to him. When he says her feelings for him might not even be real, Elena says, "I know," so apparently she's already forgotten that, the night before, Tyler told her the sire bond doesn't affect feelings, just actions. What she feels for him feels real and she's not ready to let go of it. When Damon threatens to invoke the sire bond, Elena dares him to do it. Damon complains that not only did he fail to keep his promise to set Elena free, he also didn't come clean with Stefan about sleeping with Elena. Damon is struggling not to kiss her when Elena's cellphone rings and gives him a break. It's Bonnie. The girls are meeting up so they can teach Jeremy not to kill his sister. Elena invites Damon to come along.
Klaus Haus. Klaus is painting a picture of a snowflake when Stefan arrives. Stefan mocks its simplicity. Klaus mutters something about it being post-modern. Anyhow, it's his donation to the Winter Wonderland charity event. When Hybrid Adrian comes in, Klaus tells him to deliver the still wet painting to Mystic Grill. Adrian's sire bond is broken now so he resists Klaus's order a little, but then falls in line, to keep up the ruse.
How is Adrian supposed to carry a still-wet painting without ruining it? I like to imagine that the writers thought of this, and that's why they had Klaus mention that it wasn't yet dry, but you know what would have worked better, writers? When you realized it was dumb to have Adrian take the painting Klaus was working on just seconds ago -- you should have decided that he shouldn't be painting, after all. I mean, he could have just been looking at it when Stefan walked in. We all saw his CAROLINE+PONIES4eva sketch. We know he's an artist.
After Stefan snarks to Klaus about Lincoln freeing the slaves and Klaus babbles about maximizing the benefits of free labor, Stefan gets to the point. Elena is sire bound to Damon. Klaus already figured that out last week, because in case you forget, he's always one step ahead of everyone, except for when he's not -- which will be the case by episode's end.
Stefan wants to speed up the race for a cure. Klaus tells Stefan he has the sword that will help them decipher the map. Stefan is the one who is supposed produce the hunter. Stefan explains that's a little hard to do since Jeremy now wants to kill all of them. That doesn't seem to bother Klaus much, which surprises me, because the last thing he wants is Elena to die -- at least while there's any chance he can make her human again and use her blood in his baby hybrid recipe. In fact, shouldn't Klaus take over the Jeremy situation? He's unkillable and can compel vampires. He could compel however many more vampires the Germ needs to kill in order to complete his mark. Jeremy could kill them with no struggle and then he'd be done.
When Stefan asks if Klaus is lying about finding the sword, Klaus removes it from his safe and shows it to Stefan. He recounts the swords use and some hunter's mark explanation and then tries to turn the talk to matters more personal. He knows Stefan moved out of his house and calls it a bit of a martyr move. When Stefan says he isn't there to bond, Klaus says right now he's the best friend Stefan has. Meanwhile, I'm still trying to figure out how the etching on that sword is the key to anything. I think their key needs a key, is what I'm saying.
Lockwood ruins. Adrian and Kim are complaining to Tyler about Klaus and whatever else, when Hayley arrives. She announces she has a witch who is going to save their lives. Tyler tells the hybrids they did their part by breaking the sire bond. Now he and Hayley are going to do their part. We cut to the...
Town Common. Look, I don't know if it's the common, but it's somewhere outside, and downtown. I have to call it something. Wherever it is, it's a veritable winter wonderland, indeed. The Founders Council (or whoever organizes these events) spares no expenses. They even have a snow machine, like you see at some ski slopes (although smaller). Tyler finds Caroline and I'm just going to quote here, because this plan confused the heck out of me, the first time I watched. Tyler: "Hayley found a witch strong enough to do the body jump spell. You know -- the Klaus specialty." Caroline: "So, you're going to put him in someone else's body, and then what?" Tyler: "We'll encase the body in concrete, then bury it." Caroline: "Why not just desiccate him, like Bonnie did?" Tyler: "Because to do that spell, you have to stop a human heart. I was a little short of volunteers."
Caroline asks who was dumb enough to volunteer to be a Klaus sublet. Tyler just nods. Oh dear. The smell of stupidity is making me dizzy. When he gets a good look at Caroline's face, he tells her not to freak out, thereby completing the incantation sure to bring on a freak out. Tyler assures her, "It's not forever -- just long enough for the hybrids to be able to completely disappear. Caroline is pissed. It is senior year, after all. No. Really. That's her objection to this cockamamie plan.
Putting his hands on Caroline's shoulder, Tyler tells her that since this started with him, it has to end with him. He needs her support. Having seen the rest of the episode, I'll pass on Caroline's support. What I need is to watch a whole bunch of old episodes, because I'm both confused by how that body swap plan could work, and have forgotten some details surrounding Tyler's turn from werewolf to hybrid. DVDs, you and I are going to have a few dates during the winter hiatus.
Lake House. Let's go to a world where the only guns are Steven R. McQueen's, shall we? Look at his muscles and his veins. Our little boy is all grown up. In case your eyes never made it down to his hands, Jeremy is chopping firewood. When a piece splinters off that looks like a stake, he picks it up but soon throws it back down. As he returns to the task at hand, Damon and Elena arrive. Even before they get out of the car, Jeremy reacts to their presence.
Bonnie comes out tells Jeremy they're there to help him. Putting her hands on his and on the axe handle, Bonnie asks, "Do you trust me?" Once he says he does, Bonnie takes the axe from him, lays it down and leads him toward the house. When Professor Shane steps out onto the porch, Damon asks Elena what "Professor Shadypants" is doing there? Elena admits she invited him.
Inside, Shane wants to get started, but first, Jeremy has to invite Elena in. It's his house, now. Jeremy looks at Elena will some love, but his gaze freezes before he says, "You can come in." Elena touches his arm, then walks past him to put down her bags. It's then that Jeremy draws a stake from the back of his pants and aims it at Elena's heart. Even though he didn't say her name, Jeremy's invitation must have been Elena-specific, because Damon doesn't bust in and break the boy's neck. I pretend that Damon tries to rush in, bounces up against the mystical barrier keeping him out and falls on his butt -- just for fun. Meanwhile, Elena gets the Germ in a headlock and disarms him.
Mossy Manse. Caroline calls Stefan, who is at home now. He tells her Elena is no longer at Mossy Manse. Specifically, he says, "Damon took Jeremy to the Gilbert Lake House with Bonnie, so I guess her house is safe for her, again." Wow Stefan, they're lying to you but good. He tells her he got more information about the hunter's sword. He now knows the sword decodes the hunter's mark. "It's literally the key to finding the cure." Didn't he know that back when Rebekah told him about the sword? Maybe not. I'm in no mood to check. It's then that Caroline tells Stefan about Tyler Klaus body-swapping plan. Tyler and the hybrids mean for it to go down, tonight.
Downtown. Aw. The show is using The Waitresses' "Christmas Wrapping." I love that song. No. Yes, you do too know it. Here. Watch it on YouTube. Little kids run through the fake snow. I cry.
Mystic Grill. Caroline is looking at Klaus's painting, which magically framed itself while still wet. When she sees Klaus, she ribs him about being there to steal Tiny Tim's crutches, but I don't want to enjoy Caroline this week, because I already watched this episode. When she tells him his painting is a nice snowflake, he asks if he work is quite that literal. Caroline says, "I'm serious. There's something lonely about it." Klaus takes that as a compliment and offers Caroline some champagne. She declines, on account of all the adult eyes in the room, despite the fact that these kids have been openly drinking at every event since the pilot aired.
Sidebar: I'm kind of bitter about Caroline this week, but let me thank the writers for that. No, I am being serious. Lately, all I've had to say about Caroline is, "Caroline is awesome," or "Caroline continues to be awesome." Thank you for giving her feet of clay. Thank you for allowing her to jump to conclusions and rush to judgment, even if her motives are pure. I hate perfect characters. Caroline needed a little taint. She sorely needed it.
Declining the drink is short-lived proposition anyhow, since as they continue to talk, Caroline says, "If we're going to be nice to each other, then I will need that champagne." So, she doesn't have to care about the adult eyes, because she and Klaus are being nice to each other? Come on, dialogue. Be better than this. As if to prove my point, Klaus asks, "Is that our thing?" Just out of the blue like that. Is what their thing? Is being nice their thing? Is drinking champagne while being nice their thing? Are special snowflakes their thing? What? What? What? Since Caroline insists they don't have a thing, I guess it doesn't matter. When Klaus heads off in search of bubbly, Caroline texts Stefan and says, "He's here. Go." And that's actually their thing: Caroline flirts with Klaus whenever the Fellowship of the Falls is trying to use or thwart him, even though he's an unstable, unkillable monster who is allegedly one step ahead of everyone. We cut to...
Klaus Haus. Stefan disassembles Klaus's safe, but the sword is no longer in it. We cut to Damon who is on the phone with Stefan. He says since Klaus isn't walking around with it, Stefan just needs to check the rest of the house. I know Tyler's plan is cockamamie, but since everyone on this show is pretending it could work, isn't it not a bad thing? I mean, disable Klaus and you can look through his things at your leisure.
Stefan says he already has looked elsewhere. I'm not even enjoying Damon's snark enough to share it. Klaus finds a stash of letters Klaus has kept -- at least some of them look like love letters, but I didn't get a good enough look at them to tell you what they say. I'm a font of nothing, aren't I? Anyhow, since Stefan can't find the sword, Damon suggests that Stefan kill Tyler before he goes to Klaus, or just warn Klaus about the hybrids, and then Klaus can kill Tyler. Stefan says no one is killing Tyler. He changes the subject and asks where Elena is. Damon says, "I think she's running around, trying to figure out how to deprogram Jeremy." Stefan asks, "How'd she take it last night -- you telling her to stay away from you?" Damon says, "Not well." Stefan: "You okay?" Damon: "Peachy. Gotta go. Bonnie's enlisted Dr. Evil in her plan and I have to thwart him." Dr. Evil, huh? Is that a bit too 1997, or is its datedness irrelevant, because it's a classic? I like Professor Shadypants better, at least in part because Shady is Damon's favorite adjective, this season (assuming we're not even listening to anyone on this show when they say epic, anymore).
Inside the lake house, Shane blahs about Jeremy's burning desire to kill vampires, even Elena, whom he truly doesn't want to kill. Bonnie mentions something about Persuasion. Just like that. You can see the italics and uppercase P float out of her mouth. When Shane says something Jeremy's urge to kill vampires is a conditioned response, I roll my eyes, because there is nothing conditioned about it. It's yet another mystical whammy which has been whammied upon him. Shane's going to use Persuasion to set up a roadblock in Jeremy's mind. It will give Jeremy's subconscious a chance to recognize Elena as someone he loves and wants to protect. It will give Jeremy the choice to take a detour around his urge to kill her.
At Shane's instruction, Elena starts reminiscing with Jeremy about all the childhood holidays they spent at the lake house, and how Jenna took them there after their parents died. She reminds him their parents would have wanted to stick together, no matter what. When Shane asks Jeremy how he feels about Elena, Jeremy opens his eyes, glares at his sister and gives the Elena-haters some vicarious satisfaction. "She ruined our lives. She's not even my real sister. She's just the reason that everyone I've ever loved has died. She means nothing to me. I will kill her, even if that means I die myself." When Shane breaks the trance, Jeremy looks at a horrified Elena and asks her if the hocus pocus worked. It's grim looks all around the cabin. We cut to...
Downtown. Exterior. I think we're in the stairwell by the Grill, where Matt once killed Finn. Does that seem right, to you? Since Stefan was unable to find the sword, and Klaus is their only shot at finding the vampirism cure, Stefan tells Caroline that Tyler has to call off his cockamamie plan. No, I'm not going to stop saying cockamamie. It's fun (and way better than either shady or epic). Appearing at the top of the stairs, Tyler says that's not going to happen. He's incensed that Caroline revealed his secret strategy to Stefan. Stefan just wants a little bit of time. Tyler is disinclined to deal with Stefan, since he was involved in killing Hybrid Chris.
Finally, Tyler tells Stefan he doesn't owe him anything. As he's walking away, he says he's taking out Klaus. Stefan Stealth Salvatores up in Tyler's face. I guess I'm supposed to find this menacing, but since all Tyler has to do it bite Stefan and it's game over, it seems like a silly tactic to me. Anyhow, Stefan says he can't let Tyler go ahead with his plan. When Caroline tries to call off Stefan, Stefan thinks she's being protective of Tyler, then he looks around and realizes they're surrounded by the Hybrid Pack. Tyler says, "I'm sorry man, but you don't have a choice." Wow, Caroline looks particularly gorgeous in these shots. That said, her skirt (while completely lovely) puts me in mind of the Buffy 'Bot's skirt.
Lake House. Exterior. Damon finds Elena down on the dock. He tries to get her to smile, but even the sire bond has its limits. To put it mildly, because I just don't feel like feeling sorry for fictional people right now, Elena is down in the dumps that the plan didn't work. She compares the challenge of reprogramming Jeremy's mind with their sire bond situation, then says the last time she was at the lake house, she was completely in love with Stefan. Now it's but a memory. She asks Damon if that's because of the sire bond, or if it's because she's so happy to be with him, now. Ouch. Whatever, her tactless question gives Damon an idea. As he heads back toward the lake house, let's head toward a...
Sidebar: I'm getting slightly ahead of myself here, but I'm afraid if I don't say this now, I'll forget about it, so here goes.... My friend Robyn wonders if Persuasion isn't the key to disarming Elena's sire bond. I feel like what Elena said in the last scene was meant to imply that it's not so easy. That said, Damon is going to suggest using Bonnie as Jeremy's mental detour sign. And SPOILER it's going to work. So, like Robyn, I can't help but wonder if they could whammy Elena with a little Persuasion. The thing is (and I don't think Robyn will like this idea so much), I wonder if Stefan would serve as her detour around the sire bond. I don't know. I'm mostly convinced they're going to turn Elena human again, and I do think that's what will ultimately break the sire bond. We shall see.
Lockwood Ruins. Cellar. Ty orders the pack to keep Stefan and Caroline in the cellar until they're ready to bring in Klaus. You know, I know Stefan and Caroline want to cure Elena, and they REALLY want to free her from the sire bond. I know Caroline doesn't want Tyler encased in concrete (or Tyler's body -- I'm unclear if his essence would go into Klaus's body, or what, because after all, the Klaus plan isn't real). The thing is, wouldn't they rather be free from Klaus than cure Elena?
Hey, you know who they should ask about this? Elena. I'm tired of this story where Elena being a vampire is the most desperate situation in the world, so Caroline and Stefan must fix her. Their mission to "fix" her is so important that they're constantly working behind her back. Caroline adapted. Damon adapted. I think maybe even Abby adapted. Heck, Stefan adapts in fits and starts. Also, I've also formed an unfortunate association between all this stuff, and real world attempts to "de-program" gay people, so now it's all making me a little sick.
When Stefan reminds Tyler that this is about more than revenge for them, Tyler spits back that he knows they just want the cure. The problem as he sees it is that hybridism has been the cure for the monthly bone breaking transitions of being a werewolf. I don't like the implications here. Tyler and crew worked really hard to make their transitions painless. Are we now to believe that if their vampire element is taken away, that will all be undone? I mean -- none of this is real. The writers can set the rules. I just don't like that. I guess Tyler needs a reason to be in conflict with Stefan and Caroline, and this is as good as any. When Caroline tries to appeal to her boyfriend, he says that he needed her on his side. That's all he wanted. Ouch.
Lake House. Damon enters as Bonnie is just about to begin another Persuasion session with Jeremy. I'll just let him talk, here. "Professor Shane has been dipping into the magical herbs a little too much, if he thinks using a vampire to suppress the need to kill another one is going to work on a hunter. It's like dangling a cheeseburger in front of someone on a Master Cleanse." And in fact, Pixie Monster, Shane wasn't even using one vampire to get Jeremy to suppress his need to kill another vampire. He was using Elena to get Jeremy to suppress his need to kill Elena (and then the others, too, but Elena is the main point, as far as Jeremy and Bonnie are concerned). Damon continues, "Just find someone else to attach your warm and fuzzy detour feelings to." He waits a beat, looks around the room, then says, "Gee, I wonder who that could be."
Jeremy looks at Damon and says, "You," and I nearly fall off my couch. Of course, Bonnie is standing right to Damon, so that's really who he means, but wouldn't it have been much more fun if Damon was Jeremy's detour. When Jeremy explains that he feels that way about Bonnie, she smiles, because it's the first time anyone has felt anything about her in approximately two seasons. All Damon is feeling is awkward, so he awkwardly announces his awkwardness and takes his awkward leave.
Shane finds Elena down on the dock. She's wrapped in a blanket, or some sort of blankety poncho thing. Should Elena even get cold, anymore? Well, I guess Nina Dobrev does, so I'll cut this some slack. Besides, I'm pretty sure Elena always wraps herself in that thing when she's at the lake.
Shane praises Damon's suggestion of using Bonnie as Jeremy's touchstone, because we're not calling it a detour, anymore. When Shane brings up Elena's relationship with Damon, Elena asks if he has any idea how to use hypnosis to free her from the sire bond. Shane says, "In all my world travels, the one spell I've never found is how to break somebody from loving too much. Trust me. I've looked." When Elena gives him a curious look, Shane explains that his wife and son died. He was trying to figure out a way not to miss them. I'm sorry. Real world stuff is still keeping me from caring. Well, real world stuff and the fact that I don't think Shane is above manipulation, because it seems to be his gift.
Anyhow, Our Lady of Compassion doesn't rip off her daywalker ring then and there, and immolate herself in honor of Shane's pain, which is good, because here comes Damon walking softly and carrying a big stick. Actually, it's an axe. He hadn't yet threatened to kill Shane this episode, so he takes the time to do that, then asks Professor Shady why he's after the vampire cure. Shady says he never said he was looking for it, but can tell them where to find it. While Klaus's sword will lead them there, so can Shady. He's already been there. We cut to...
Downtown. Exterior. Winter Wonderland. The beautiful Mayor Carol Lockwood is filling April in on her Miss Mystic duties during this Event O' the Week. When she sees her son approaching, Carol grabs two champagne flutes and hands one to Tyler. "Quick. A toast, before people can judge us." Tyler clicks her glass and drinks, but it's clear to Carol that something is wrong. We cut to the two of them sitting on a bench. Tyler's already filled mom in on his cockamamie plan, because Carol is upset he'll miss graduation. She knows it's ridiculous to worry about that, but still.... Tyler goes on about his responsibilities as an alpha. Eyes wet, voice choked with emotion, Carol nods and tells him to do what he must. With a warm smile, she admits she's trying to channel Tyler's late father. If that's the case, she should be hitting the kid and berating him, no? We're not going there, because it's time to be sentimental. Carol tells Ty his dad would be proud of him. "You're a leader of people, just like he was." They hug, and it's then that I realize Carol will be dead by the end of the episode.
Lake House. Shane unveils the Silas tombstone. Does he take that thing everywhere? Talk about awkward! Damon tries to channel Spike and says, "It's a rock." My family corrects his line reading, before I can continue. Shane repeats his Silas story about the immortality spell, and how Q got jealous that Silas was going to share it with another woman. Q killed the girl before he had a chance to make her immortal. I've seen speculation about the girl's identity somewhere, but I'm just thinking the people who shared it might have been spoiled, so I guess I'll keep that under my hat. Cursed to an eternity without his one true love, Silas found a way to reverse the immortality spell. Before he had a chance to take the reverse spell, Q buried him underground, leaving him and the cure to rot. If he's immortal, will he rot? I guess that's beside the point.
After taking all this in, Elena says, "So it's a cure for immortality?" Um sweetie, if it is, I'd think long and hard about taking it, at least before testing it on some vampire we don't care for. You have to die in order to become a vampire. If your immortality is cured, shouldn't that render you truly dead since you already died? Shane doesn't care about all that. Instead, he says that human blood is the life force of an immortal. "No more immortality, no more need to feed on human blood. You dig up Silas, you've got your cure." Uncharacteristically quiet, Damon just listens.
Lockwood Ruins. Cellar. Caroline is complaining to Kim when Stefan's phone rings. Care Bear has a moment of foolish, if not false bravado, and zoops up into Kim's face. Caroline, all she has to do is take a little nibble out of you. Why would she find your actions anything but annoying? Anyhow, it's Damon on the phone. He tells Stefan they have an answer to his "Tyler problem." When Stefan hangs up the phone, he tells Caroline they no longer need the sword.
Using Jeremy's sketch, Shane explains the hunter's mark to Elena and Damon. He says the symbols in the vines are the map, but they no longer need that. When the mark is complete, it will contain the spell they need to dig up Silas. Damon: "And where'd you say he was buried? Oh, I forgot. You didn't." Shane: "You've threatened to kill me -- what -- three times, already this week. Location is how I'm going to survive your bad moods." I wish Alaric was here to hear that. He'd laugh and laugh.
Elena asks Shane what's in it for him. He claims he's in it for Silas, who, until now has only been myth. When Damon snarks that Shane should write a thesis, Shane says, "Would you rather be the guy who writes about Noah's Ark or the one who sails it down the Hudson River?" I'm not sure of Noah's Ark's actual location, but surely there are bodies of water nearer to it than the Hudson. Damon ignores this, looks at Elena and says, "I'm not buying it." I hope her sire bond is sensitive enough, that she too remains at least somewhat skeptical of Shane. Shane says they don't have buy it. They just have to believe they can fix Jeremy. When his hunter's mark is complete, Shane is going to take it to the cure.
Mystic Grill. Caroline enters the ladies room. Hayley and Tyler follow her in. When Ty asks how Caroline got out, she says, "I got out, because even your idiot hybrids recognize the stupidity of your alpha hybrid murder plan." Tyler refuses to fight, but she begs to differ. They're going to do plenty of fighting once he shoves Klaus in someone else's body. Tyler reminds Caroline he doesn't have another body. Caroline: "Well I do. [...] Rebekah. She's got a dagger in her. Stefan has been hiding her coffin in the tunnels. We dump Klaus into her body, bury her, and we've just killed two original birds with one stone." Hayley lamely complains that it's too late to change the plan. What, Hayley, the witch you don't even have can't whammy Klaus's essence into Rebekah's desiccated corpse, instead of Tyler's living body? Oh right, this is all a lie on your part, so never mind. Tyler tells Caroline to call Bonnie and make sure the plan will work. While Tyler praises Caroline's genius and tells her he loves her, Hayley texts Shane. Tyler rushes off to tell Carol he can actually graduate.
Lake House. Shane receives the text messages from Hayley. "We have a problem. The plan is falling apart." Shane texts back, "Fix it," then finds Bonnie and Jeremy working on Jeremy's detour. Just then, Caroline calls Bonnie and asks her if it's possible to put Klaus's essence into Rebekah. Bonnie doesn't see it won't work. She asks Caroline if she needs her help. She can leave Elena at the lake house with Jeremy. Caroline is all, "Elena? She's there, too?" Bonnie: "Yeah, she came with Damon, who's being slightly less horrible than usual." Caroline: "You know what? I can't deal with this, right now." She hangs up and starts out of the bathroom. Hayley congratulates Caroline on her change in the plan, then snaps our Vampire Barbie's neck. Nighty night, Care Bear.
Lake House. Elena drags out a box of Christmas decorations and talks to Damon about trusting Shane. Damon scoffs and tells her he thinks Shane blew up the 12 people at the Young Farm. Before Damon can explain, Shane is there. He mocks Damon for his "false" accusations, then dissembles for Elena. Sure, as Damon discovered, Shane was in contact with the pastor, but only because the pastor was severely depressed over the death of his wife. He sought out Shane for some supernatural assistance. Lies, damned lies (and possibly statistics). Elena buys it, though.
And at any rate, Elena doesn't have long to think things over, because Jeremy walks in and says by George, he thinks they've got it. Bonnie tells Elena not to move. When Elena sees the stake in Jeremy's hand, she's on guard. Shane reminds Jeremy to choose the right path. As Jeremy slowly moves toward his sister, Damon gets in his way. Jeremy looks to Bonnie who smiles prettily at him. He then flips the stake and hands it over to Damon. Jeremy stares at Elena as he approaches her. Finally, they hug. During all the lovey dovey stuff. Shane gets another text from Hayley which reads: "I'll fix it. You'll get your twelve." Dun dun dun.
Klaus seems to be having words with Hayley, but we can't hear them. If Stefan can, he doesn't share his vampiric hearing with us. Still, I imagine Hayley is just busy setting up Klaus to kill all his hybrids, by telling him that they've broken the sire bond or plan to. When Hayley walks up, Stefan joins Klaus who wants to know where he was all day. "You've been dodgy and Caroline's been lovely, which I've come to recognize as a tool of distraction. Now, do you have something to share with me, or shall I compel it out of you?" Stefan admits his broke into the safe to look for the sword, because he doesn't trust Klaus. Klaus is deeply wounded. He's been on Stefan's side this whole time. "What do you want from me? A secret brotherhood handshake?"
Stefan looks around the party and changes the subject. "I found the letters. You've had a few pen pals over the centuries." Klaus asks if keeping his victims' letters is much different from Stefan writing his victims' names on a wall. He hisses Ripper at Stefan and is enjoying himself, until he spots Adrian a way off. Klaus's smile fades, and he walks away from Stefan. When Stefan turns to watch him, Klaus stops and turns back. Eyes full of tears, he says, "Loneliness, Stefan, that's why you and I memorialize our dead." He goes on but I just can't. Okay? I just can't. Klaus then follows Adrian into the night.
Mystic Grill. In the bathroom, April finds Caroline lying on the floor. When she can't find a pulse, April screams for help and rushes toward the door. Caroline revives, Stealth Salvatores herself between April and the door and asks where Hayley is. April's all, "You didn't have a pulse." Caroline ignores this and calls Stefan. "It's me. That little werewolf slut has lost her mind. Go to the Lockwood cellar and make sure that Rebekah's body is still there. I'm going to find Tyler. Hayley is trying to screw this up." When she ends the call, Caroline smiles at April, turns on her compulsion eyes, and tells the girl to forget everything she just saw and heard. Then, in perfectly lovely, typical Caroline fashion she adds, "You are Miss Mystic Falls. You have duties to fulfill." Caroline's off her game here, though, because she should recognize that the girl hasn't forgotten anything. April scurries out of the bathroom, undoubtedly to wreak a little havoc of her own.
When Caroline returns to the restaurant, Matt finds her and tells her Stefan has been looking for her. "Adrian is leading Klaus to the cellar." Still stressed out, Caroline asks why the only time April isn't following him around like a lost puppy is when Caroline's lying dead with a broken neck. Matt: "April saw you?" Caroline: "Yeah, it's okay. I compelled her." Matt: "No. She's wearing Jeremy's vervain bracelet."
Downtown. Tyler can't find Carol so he calls her and leaves her a voice message that plans have changed. Everything's going to be fine. Oh Tyler. He promises he'll be back later to pick her up, then ends the call, when he sees Hayley. He asks her why she's there instead of taking the witch to the cellar. Hayley shakes her head. "There is no witch, Tyler. [...] I made it up. We cut to the woods, but I'd rather finish Tyler and Hayley's scene, so forgive me for going out of order. Hayley says, "I never intended for you to put Klaus down. I needed him for the sacrifice." Tyler says, "The what?" We cut back to the woods, but I'm staying here. Hayley says, "I don't know how to explain it, but I made a deal with someone who can help me find my family." Tyler demands to know what she's talking about. Hayley: "There needed to be 12 for the sacrifice, Tyler." I ignore another cut. Tyler says, "Twelve what?" Another cut. Hayley says, "I'm sorry." Another cut. Tyler: "Hayley, what did you do?" Another cut. Hayley: "If you run now, you might make it out alive." Another cut. Tyler backs away, his eyes wide open, literally and figuratively. As he rushes through the crowd, we cut back to the woods.
Out in the woods, during all those cuts I didn't cover, Klaus has killed eleven of the hybrids. O Holy Night plays the whole time. I'm not shedding tears for fictional characters, and I'm just not going to recap the violence this week. I don't have it in me. A blood-spattered Klaus follows Kim down to the cellar and demands to know where Tyler is. When Kim says she doesn't know, Klaus kills her, too.
Lake House. Damon is sitting on the on the deck watching as Elena, Bonnie and Jeremy examine the Christmas decorations and reminisce. When Jeremy pulls out an old sprig of mistletoe, Elena laughs that Jenna used it to make out with Logan Fell. This is a sweet scene, and I laughed when I watched it. Elena beckons for Damon to join them, but he demurs, so she walks out to the porch and tells him he's missing the actual fun part. When she holds the mistletoe up over her head, Damon tells her they can't. Elena refuses to believe this isn't real. She knows how she feels and that he feels it to. He should stop fighting it.
Damon changes the subject and says it was good to see Elena being all normal with Jeremy. He wants that for her again. He also waxes nostalgic about his childhood Christmases with Stefan. Damon knows he's been wrong to be there with Elena, when he promised Stefan he would invoke the sire bond and send her away. He knows he should have done the right thing by her and by Stefan, so he'll do it now. He tells Elena to go home. He'll stay with Jeremy, train him and help him hunt vampires -- without her. "I'm setting you free, Elena. This is what I want. This is what will make me happy." I don't think that's as strongly worded as it needs to be, but I'll give him an A for his effort.
Mossy Manse. Caroline finds Stefan and says Matt can't find April and she can't reach Tyler. "This is a disaster." She can't believe how chill Stefan is, but he's really being morose. He's feeling guilty that Klaus has been led away to the slaughter. Really? First of all, it's not even a slaughter. I mean, I know you don't know its fake Stefan, but even given that, we're just talking about a body switch. This is a crime Klaus has been guilty of at least twice in the short time he's been in Mystic Falls. Not to mention he terrorized Elena, killed Jenna, and whoever else and reactivated your Ripper self. But you feel guilty? You need help, Stefan. Caroline feels guilty too. Yes, Klaus saved her life once, but he only had to save it because he ordered Tyler to bite her in the first place. Maybe Caroline and Stefan can get a group rate.
To show me up, Stefan reminds Caroline that they've all done horrible things. He's trying to figure out what makes them any better than Klaus. "I think it's just that we have family we can trust." Caroline's voice drops to a whisper as she agrees that trust is everything. "Have you heard from Damon?" Stefan says yes, and that he's still with Jeremy at the lake house. Caroline asks if he mentioned where Elena was. When Stefan asks why she's asking, Caroline gives him a pointed look. Stefan takes a seat to her. "They're together, aren't they?" Caroline answers with her eyes. Stefan: "How together are they?" Caroline averts her gaze, so Stefan says, "Caroline, tell me. How together are they?" Caroline says nothing. Stefan reels. We cut to the...
Lake House. Jeremy walks Bonnie to her car. Before she gets in, he thanks her and they hug. That might be the first time anyone has touched Bonnie since she shared a chaste bed with Jamie. Damon follows Elena out of the house and to the car. Jeremy waves to his sister as he returns to the house. She turns back to Damon and says that while she was ready to fight him on this, everything in her is now telling her to get in the car and leave without him. Damon tells her to do it. Looking resigned, Elena leans in and gives Damon a soft, quick kiss on the lips. When he opens the car door, she frowns and gets in. We cut to...
Mossy Manse. Stefan is so torn up about Elena and Damon that he commits chess set abuse. I hear that's a slippery slope back to Ripperdom. Self-righteous, even in her empathy, Caroline gives him a pained look and lowers her eyes. We cut to the woods.
Tyler finds the bodies of the 11, then rushes down to the cellar where he finds Kim's corpse. When he leaves, April Young steps out of the shadows. She makes her way to Rebekah's coffin and opens it to find her desiccated friend.
Downtown. Carol's leaving Tyler a voice mail. "You're supposed to be my sober cab." Um, you remember giving him a drink, right mom? She continues: "I think I drank half the party." That's why we love you, Mulva. She's sitting alone on a bench when Klaus approaches and asks her if she's looking for Tyler. "I'd like a little word with him, myself." Klaus is still covered in blood, proving beyond a doubt that he is the originator of Elena's vampire bloodline, because for heaven's sake, tidy up. Poor Carol is frightened. She begs Klaus not to hurt her son. He's all she has. Klaus says, "And you're all he has. There's a beautiful symmetry to that, don't you think?" With that, he drowns Carol. Were this not Susan Walter's swan song, I wouldn't have even given you that much of the scene. I'm done. So is Klaus. He walks away. Title card.
I truly enjoyed this episode. I know that's probably less than evident from this recap, but that's because I can no longer enjoy it. But that first time I watched it, I felt like my show was back. I'm still not crazy about the cure and sire bond, but that's the story they're telling and I feel like this week, they told it well.
The Vampire Diaries returns Thursday, January 17, 2013, so I'll see you year. I hope you had a good Hanukkah. A continuing Happy Holidays, Merry Christmas and Happy New Year, to all who will celebrate. Please take care of yourselves and your loved ones. Before you go, please grade the episode at the top of the page and then come on over to the forum, where we're bending an elbow for Mayor Carol "Mama Mulva" Lockwood.