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I don't even want to write this up. Right now, I want to stop watching, so the pain will go away. And? I say that as someone who is decidedly not an Elena/Damon 'shipper. No, really. I truly believe Elena and Stefan should (barring future developments) be end-game. The thing is, here's the thing: if I'm watching a story about a love triangle, all three sides of the triangle need to exist and matter in their own right. In "My Brother's Keeper," the closing sentiment seems to be that the Damon/Elena side is nothing more than a mystical nuisance. So for me, right now? So is this show. Yes, my lovelies, right now, I'm doing my job, rather than living my passion. Caveat lector.
It's time for the Miss Mystic Falls pageant. The ceremony takes place at the Lockwood Mansion, and as reigning Miss Mystic, Caroline is in charge. She and Tyler appear to be on the outs, which makes sense in wake of the prior episode, but since we have had no private scenes between them, I'll wait to see it before I believe it. Professor Shane is on hand to award scholarships, because later, Damon will need to link him to werewolf Hayley (see upcoming full recap). Meanwhile, Hayley and Tyler are helping Hybrid Kim break her sire bond. If I'm not mistaken, they're using the now abandoned Pastor Young Ranch to do so.
Stefan tells Damon about breaking up with Elena. To give him his due, because EXACTLY NO ONE else in this episode will do so, Damon is ready to abandon ho for bro, and go guzzle down some Tri-Delts with Stefan if that's what baby brother needs. Stefan is still in Shady Stefan mode though, and still working with Klaus to find the cure. Klaus's latest orders are for Stefan to procure some vampires in need of a good staking, bring them to the Germ, let nature take its course, such that Jeremy's Hunter's Mark will grow.
After Jeremy kills an admitted and unrepentant murderer Stefan has procured for him (because of course, the vampire who rips people apart and then puts them back together cannot lose his head and choose a less deserving victim), Jeremy's vampire-killing lust grows. , Jeremy tries to kill Elena, who is saved in the nick of time by only Matt, with an assist from Stefan. By episode's end, Elena realizes Jeremy can't live with her. She sets Matt up as Jeremy's roommate and decamps to Mossy Manse. Stefan tells Elena to choose a room and then takes his leave. Elena and Damon booze it up, talk it up, kiss it up, and then do it up, which would all be well and good, except for what comes .
Stefan gives Caroline a post-mortem, and once she pieces together all the elements of the story, she decides Elena is only into Damon because she is sire bound to him. I know it's been a long time since we discussed the sire bond story, so a lot of fans understandably think of it as something that only occurs between Klaus and his hybrids, but that's not so. Last season, Damon, of all people, did explain that it occurred, albeit rarely, among vamps and those who turned them. Don't get me wrong. I think Elena's feelings for Damon predate her vampirism (and hence, any sire bond), but this whole storyline smells like the set up to an easy out, and I'm so not interested in watching a story with easy outs.
So, yes, we have these lovely, hot scenes between Elena and Damon, intercut with Caroline completely peeing on the passion parade. I've lost my will to care about this show. I hope it returns, but right now, were there a mid-season cancellation, I'd probably be mostly okay with that in all ways that aren't financial. If the stories aren't real, if the choices characters make don't matter, if everyone is set up with an easy out for their actions, then there's no sense in watching this show.
Yes, I know there are a million reasons to think that Elena's feelings for Damon aren't only dependent on the sire bond. That said, the show has changed in the last half a season or perhaps full season. I no longer have faith that they're telling me a story worth hearing. I hope I'm wrong and end up fully ashamed of my pessimism. If I am, I will confess it with vigor and vim. Right now though, I'm just going to have a glass of wine, put on some classic Buffy and go to bed.
I'll be back with the whole story, in the full recap. In the meantime, please grade the episode at the top of the page and then come on over to the forum, where we always keep it real.
Want more? The full recap starts right below!After my ranty "My Brother's Keeper" recaplet was published, I received a tweet reading: "@CindyMcLennan ur ovrrctng 2 TVD E/D srbnd has 2 b bs-2 mch hstry. C is prjctng (feelngs 4 K)--S? crzy agn Solid ep-Nice plot dev-No mopes!" How can I argue with that? Let's ignore the part in the recaplet where I acknowledge Elena's feelings for Damon predate any of the sire bond nonsense, consider me told, and move on with the recap. Are you with me? Excellent.
Previously, on The Vampire Diaries, Stefan jumped off a roof, I think because he was born in Mystic Falls, and really, that's a reasonable response. Other stuff happened too, but I don't really care about it, right now.
Currently, on The Vampire Diaries, once again, Stefan seems to have survived jumping off the roof. Aw, I shouldn't let my reaction to this episode spoil my fondness for the Stefan character, so let's forget I said that. Anyhow, Stef is in the woods, doing pushups (not a euphemism). He's got his cell phone with him and set on speaker, so Caroline can nag him while he continues working out. He just has to come to the Miss Mystic Falls pageant! He's a Founding Family member. Plus, Caroline says so.
Stefan is not up to it. He'd rather tear into someone's artery. Caroline calls herself his "sober sponsor" and insists he sublimate his feelings, which of course he will. Then Stefan confesses that Elena has feelings for Damon. I don't really like using "feelings" twice like that so close together... and now I've used it a third time. Does it seem like I'm having trouble getting into this recap? You betcha.
Caroline reacts to the Elena news just about how you'd imagine she would, but I don't want to get ranty (again) this early, and truthfully, since Damon used Caroline as his personal chew toy, Caroline's reaction rings perfectly true. The call ends with Caroline reminding Stefan that there's a difference between sublimating and insanity. Yeah, okay. Whatever. I'm still having trouble willing up the ability to care. Let's move on.
Klaus jumps Stefan, gets him in a headlock, and gives him hell for telling everyone about the elusive Vampire Cure. Stefan points out that no one who knows about the cure will endanger them, and that he wants to find it more than anything else, because he completely hates that Elena is already better at being a vampire than he'll ever be. That might be a paraphrase. Klaus orders Stefan to find some more vampires for Jeremy to kill, so his map will grow, but to do so on the QT.
When Stefan returns to Mossy Manse, he's nothing if not taciturn toward Damon. Damon: "Okay, I see shady Stefan's back. Please don't tell me that you're still working with Klaus." Stefan realizes Damon hasn't heard the latest teeny bopper gossip. "Elena and I broke up." Damon doesn't have much of a poker face, does he? And no, he's not reveling in the news. Our Evil Pixie Monster is the biggest Stefan/Elena 'shipper on the planet. He is devastated, and will surely write some fan fic in which he reverses this heartbreaking development, as soon as the episode is over.
Right now though, Damon has to fill in for the Exposition Fairy, so he tells Stefan everything Stefan already knows about needing to find a vampire hunter, and getting him to kill vampires, so they can follow the map that is the hunter's mark to Elena's cure. "Unless we want Jeremy to go all Connor 2.0, I suggest we find a different hunter. [...] And, I was going to ask Professor Shane, but apparently he's shadier than you are." Not really, Damon. Not this week. Okay, Shane is probably better at being shady, but that's only because we don't know him, yet. Anyhow, Damon then explains about how Matt got a hold of Pastor Cliche's phone records, and discovered how many times he called Shane before blowing the Council to kingdom come.
Stefan is too bitter to strategize with Damon. The only item on his agenda is mocking his rival. "Ah. So you're gonna confront Shane, threaten him, possibly kill him...that sort of thing?" Damon smirks. "Yeah, unless he tells me what he's up to. What do you say? Should we tag team this?" Stefan: "Nah. I'd say you're on your own."
When Stefan tries to leave, Damon stops him. "Or we could just blow it off, man. Go get drunk, brother-bond over some Tri-Delts, if you...you know want some quality time." Stefan sneers at Damon's genuine offer. "Let's not pretend like this isn't the best day of your life." Damon wisely says no more, but his poor little broken 'shipper heart is broken, just the same.
Lockwood Mansion, Exterior. Elena is helping Caroline set up for the pageant. Caroline swears she's not picking sides between Stefan and Damon and then does precisely that. Elena says she still loves Stefan, but ever since she's turned her feelings for Damon have become more intense. Caroline reveals that Stefan already told her, which catches Elena off guard. Hearing that Stefan is not doing well, she asks if she should have lied to him. Caroline says, "No, but you weren't supposed to let Damon weasel his way into your confused newbie vampire heart." Elena acknowledges it's too late for that and says now she just has to figure out what it all means.
The girls are interrupted by Professor Shane, who is at the pageant to interview contestants. When Elena remembers his name from her trip to Whitmore College, Shane says, "Yeah, that's right. Professor by day. Pageant judge by other day. In spite of being absurdly unqualified, I'm apparently awarding a scholarship." Okay, why is a college professor absurdly unqualified when it comes to scholarship awards? That doesn't even make sense, Show. I mean sure, I can buy that he's never interviewed pageant contestants before, but he's certainly talked to older teens, and knows how to read an academic transcript, right? Ugh. Don't try so hard to make him quippy. Quippiness comes when it's in the mood. When Caroline directs him to the Lockwood parlor, Shane says, "All right, I'll just follow the scent of hairspray and world domination." See, that's the way you do it.
Once they're alone again, Elena tells Caroline that Shane is the one who told Damon how to break the Hunter's Curse. Caroline tells Elena he's got Bonnie so obsessed with practicing magic again, that she's bailed on pageant prep. I don't even think Bonnie was in the pageant last year, was she? Maybe Bonnie bailed, because it's stupid, and feels no responsibility to help she's not from a founding family, since the historical racism in this town is rivaled only by its vampire infestation. Elena and Caroline agree that it's creepy Shane is now judging the pageant, because it so very much is.
On the other side of the house, Matt and Jeremy are unloading booze from Matt's new pickup truck, because what's a high school beauty pageant, without liquor. Oh, this Show. Matt: "So, your sister is making me be her date. Think I'll have to do that weird dance thing?" Oh Pudding Pop, you know I love you like...pudding, but if you only see it as a "weird dance thing" then I'm starting to understand why you're still alone.
Jeremy reassures Matt that only the contestants have to do the weird dance thing, and confirms that he's April's escort. "She needed a date, and apparently you were taken." When Matt struggles to unload a keg from the truck bed, Jeremy hops up and shows off his newfound strength. He picks up two kegs, one in each hand, and jumps down to the ground. Matt is more disturbed than impressed, and Jeremy's explanation that his strength comes from his newly woken hunter-osity, does little to dispel Matt's fears. He reminds Jeremy that a byproduct of his energy is an increasing desire to kill vampires. Since he lives with one, perhaps he should talk to someone about what's going on with him. Jeremy pooh-poohs this. "I would never hurt my sister. I'll be fine." Matt grimaces as he watches Jeremy walk off.
Hospital. Shady Stefan enters and starts reading patient's charts. When he spies a guard outside one patient's room, Stefan compels him to take break. Inside the patient's room, Stefan keeps the compulsion eyes on, and asks that prisoner-patient why there was a cop outside his room. Patient: "I'm a convicted murderer." Stefan: "Are you guilty?" Patient: "Of course I am." Stefan: "Any regrets?" Patient: "Only that I got caught."
Having gotten all the conscience salve he'll need for what's to come , Stefan bites into his own wrist and forces the patient to drink, then snaps his neck. Shady Stefan is all about the end justifying the means.
Lockwood Mansion. Caroline hollers at three girls who are bearing floral arrangements. See that cute little one in the middle? That's two time Olympic Gold Medalist, Gabrielle Douglas. Aside from being an insanely talented athlete, Ms. Douglas is a big fan of The Vampire Diaries. I can't believe I had the foresight to "favorite" the conversation that initiated this appearance, especially in the summer. Go me, with my accidental failure to slack.
You see, back in August, Julie Plec tweeted: "In the span of one week I learned that an Olympic Gold Medalist and an American Idol love TVD. That rocks. @gabrielledoug @kelly_clarkson" Ms. Douglas replied: "@julieplec Awww thank you soo much!!! Btw this is one of my FAVORITE SHOW! #TheVampireDiaires #Guessappearance? lol <3" Plec responded: "Blushing, @gabrielledoug, you let us know when you're free and we'll see what we can do! #allinthetvdfamily"
I am in awe of gymnasts, particularly female gymnasts, so seeing Ms. Douglas on TVD just warms the cockles of my heart, and is perhaps the reason it didn't end up entirely frost-bitten by episode's end. I'm so proud of the TVD team for making this happen. So kids, if you want to appear on The Vampire Diaries, all you've got to do is devote your life to a sport, be better at it than anyone else in the entire world, win a couple of Olympic Gold Medals, and then have your people call Plec's people. No big! (Gabrielle, you should have held out for a kissing scene with the character of your choice. Wait. Scratch that. It's probably better for your health to make a quick exit from Mystic Falls.)
Okay, I'm done fawning. Let's get back to the scene. So Caroline berates the girls for inept floral placement or some such. Once they're gone, Klaus finds his Pony Princess. He's wondering what time he should pick her up for their promised date, tomorrow. Caroline was hoping for a movie date, during which they wouldn't have to talk to each other, but Klaus wants to accompany the reigning Miss Mystic Falls to the pageant. After he rubs in the "fact" of Tyler's indiscretion with Hayley, Caroline acquiesces, but insists that Klaus not get her so much as a corsage. Klaus agrees with a smile. "I'll see you tomorrow, Caroline." We cut to...
Some barn. I'm just going to pretend this is Pastor Cliche's barn, if that's okay with you. Hayley watches a young woman, Kim (Alyssa Diaz), who is in chains because the writers are trying to troll more than one ethic minority, don't you know. All right, sidebar...
The few times I've exchanged messages with Julie Plec, my overriding thought has been what a nice woman she is. I am sure she, Williamson, and their crew are NOT a bunch of raving racists, but really, the portrayal of minorities on this show must improve. Anyone who isn't Bonnie typically ends up dead. Granted, Kim isn't getting killed in this scene. Hayley is helping this hybrid break her sire bond to Klaus, but just seeing this young woman in chains is the close to the last straw for me. While I love Plec and crew, love this show, and hate when "fans" issue threats and other vile garbage to anyone on Team TVD, I am going to harangue the hell out of the show for its treatment of minorities until it improves. I know you can do better, Show. I know you can. Do so. Please.
So, yes, Hayley is encouraging Kim to break her sire bond, but Kim is finding it more annoying than encouraging. She thinks she's suffering now? She should have watched The Secret Circle. Hayley exposits about how turning 'til it no longer hurts will break the sire bond, but we already know that song.
Tyler shows up at tells Hayley about Caroline's pageant date with Klaus, which will buy them another day to help unsire the hybrids. While Kim screams in bone-breaking agony, Hayley suggests that they attend the pageant, together. Her excuse is that it will help them keep up their romance ruse, but we know she has designs on Tyler, because have you seen Michael Trevino? (Note to vision-impaired readers: he's sick hot.) Even as her bones continue to break, Kim screams at the two, in frustration. "GUYS, LIKE THIS ISN'T TORTURE ENOUGH! CAN YOU TAKE IT OUTSIDE?" Oh my word. I love her. Can we keep her, Show? You know how I just told you to do better. Here's your chance. M'kay? Ignoring Kim, Hayley tilts her head and bats her eyelashes at Tyler. He considers her for a moment then says, "Fine. We'll go." On his way out, he adds, "Wear a dress."
Gilbert Gables. Night. Elena is having trouble fastening her necklace. Jeremy stops outside her room and asks if she needs a hand. As he gets to work on the clasp, Elena tells him she picked up his dry cleaning. Jeremy looks at her reflection in the mirror and says, "I really wish you'd stop acting like you were still my sister." With that, he pulls the necklace tight around her throat. As Elena struggles, her neck starts to bleed. Jeremy wakes with a start. The Elena haters go into fits of apoplexy. As the now awake Jeremy struggles to catch his breath, he looks around and finds a knife and freshly carved stakes (which bear the same symbol we saw on Connor's stakes). His confused expression makes it clear that Jeremy doesn't remember carving them. Commercial.
The day, as they're getting all prettied up for the pageant, Matt questions Jeremy about how he could have woken up with a knife in his hand and not know how it got there. While Matt is sure the Hunter's Mark is to blame, Jeremy worries that it the psycho-killer protect-o ring could also be to blame. What if, like Alaric, he's developing an alter-ego. I hope it's both, personally. Matt reads some hunter research which seems to support his theory that hunterdom is to blame here, though. Rising to his feet, Matt says, "You're not having a psychotic break, Jer. You either tell Elena, or I will." Well honey, it's sort of like a psychotic break, even if the forgetfulness is a passing thing all newbie hunters experience. Regardless of what we call it, or its cause though, surely he should tell Elena, anyhow. Jeremy agrees. He'll tell Elena when he sees her. Just then, Jeremy gets a text from Shady Stefan: "Meet in Lockwood Cellar. Don't tell anyone." When Matt asks Jeremy if he needs a ride to the pageant, Jeremy tells him to go ahead. He'll meet him there. Okay, that's dumb, Jeremy. Never go meet a Salvatore without telling at least one person. Also, its dumb, Show, that Matt came over to get prettied up with Jeremy, but then isn't disturbed when his bud (who isn't driving yet, as far as we know) doesn't need a ride.
Lockwood Mansion. April holds up two gowns for Caroline and Elena's opinion. They both tell her to choose the blue. April looks fond of the red one though, and worries that the blue might be too safe. Elena says safe is good when it comes to the judges, and Caroline tells a little anecdote that I don't feel like sharing, because I'm irrationally irritated by our Vampire Barbie this episode. So there.
Damon appears at the door and puts in a vote for the red dress. Caroline throws something at him, but it's nothing that does any damage to his pretty face. As she marches toward him, Damon says he's looking for Professor Shane. Caroline tells him to check the judges table and then tries to slam the door in his face, but Damon pushes it back open and tells April, "The red one. Definitely." When Caroline says they've already agreed the red is too showy, Damon says showiness is the point of pageants. Caroline: "Did you win Miss Mystic, last year? No. I don't think you did." Damon: "Neither did Elena." He turns to April and adds, "And she wore blue." There's some more back and forth and an interjection from April. When Damon asks Elena her opinion, her voice is falters. "The red is pretty." Damon nods and smiles. "And my work here is done." Once he's gone, Caroline turns to Elena and wonders how she switched her opinion so quickly. This gives Elena pause, but she shakes it off and tells April to choose the one she wants to wear, and then walks out, leaving Caroline to ask, "What just happened?"
Elena follows Damon down the stairs. Softly, slowly, she says they need to talk. Damon: "Stefan told me about the breakup. I'd say I'm sorry, but I'm not." Elena asks what he said. Damon: "Oh you know Stefan. They guy just went on and on about it. He wouldn't shut up." That's not true at all, right? I mean, he said they broke up, and he tried to get away from Damon, and then he just told Damon not to pretend it wasn't the best day of his life. Oh Damon, you're such a 'shipper that you're substituting fanon for canon.
Elena looks at Damon. "So, he didn't tell you why?" Damon: "Nope, although I'm sure it has something to do with you acting weird, so why don't you tell me?" When Elena says, "You..." all the emotions cross Damon's face. I know I like to poke fun at Damon's eye-thing, even though I get a kick out of it, but this, right here -- this is a world apart. Somerhalder's expressions convey more than words or his usual eye-thing antics, or even words and eye-thing antics combined. At first, there's a soft, but reflexive smile. Then Elena's answer actually hits his brain, you know, and it's almost like he's concerned (it must have hit his 'shipper center). , he narrows his eyes and searches Elena's face for meaning. When he gets it, he still can't believe it. Finally he lets a whispered, "Huh," pass his lips. He almost wants to smile but doesn't. Then stupid Professor Shane comes in and spoils the moment. My daughter and I are convinced he's evil. Damon looks at Elena like Oh God, don't go anywhere and don't change your mind. I'll be right back as he follows Shane. Once Damon is gone, Elena looks like she's not quite sure why she told him anything.
Exterior. Shane and Damon stroll the grounds sipping champagne, as Damon says he's looking for another Hunter. When Shane says he thought Damon already had a "Potential" Damon says, "I did, but he ended up being potentially a problem." Shane claims he can't help. Damon wonders why Shane is there -- what he's up to. Shane: "You think too highly of me, Damon. I'm going to go find the other judges." Damon stops him and says, "Hey, no pity votes for April Young, okay? I mean, just because her dad blew up a house with a dozen people in it doesn't mean she should get a tiara." When Shane shoots Damon a look, Damon continues: "But you knew him, didn't you -- 'cause I hear you two racked up a pretty impressive phone bill."
Shane tells Damon if he wants to know something, he should just ask it. I agree. That's how people on this show used to talk to each other -- like people. Oh, not Damon. This is par for the course with Damon. But in general, these characters used to be written such that they avoided the frustrating non-revelatory conversations which plague so many fictional characters. Anyhow, Damon takes Shane up on his challenge. "Okay. How did you convince the pastor to kill all those people?" Shane: "Did you just accuse me of mass murder in the middle of a high school pageant?" Well yeah, but it's a Mystic Falls high school pageant, Shane, so I don't think Damon's question is a problem for Miss Manners.
Carol Lockwood takes the microphone and welcomes her guests to this year's pageant. As she blahs about community leaders-in-the-making, Shane walks away from Damon, who watches him go with a mixture of concern and contempt.
Jeremy enters the old Lockwood ruins. Since Stefan's text just said to meet at the Lockwood cellar, I can't help but think it would have been a hoot if Jeremy had gone to the Lockwood's current home and spent the last 2/3s of the episode wandering around in the dark, calling for Stefan, but that's probably because I'm still having trouble getting into this episode.
Stefan presents Jeremy with his freshly made almost vampire. After some soft sell revolving around restoring Elena's humanity, Stefan pulls out a knife, cuts Jeremy, and forces his blood into the chained up Unrepentant Killer's mouth. When Jeremy finally manages to pull away, Stefan presents him with a stake. Jeremy is horrified. "Was this all so I could stake him?" Stefan: "Do you think I want to do this, Jeremy? Look at me. I hate this. I don't want to do this, but your sister isn't supposed to be a vampire, and we need to help her." Gesturing toward his prisoner, Stefan adds, "He's a murderer, and he will gladly kill again, so do it, Jeremy. Kill him."
With the prisoner's chains now unhooked from the cell bars, Stefan holds them like reins. I start hearing the, "My Little Pony" jingle. Jeremy does not, so he screams at Stefan. "What are you doing? What the hell is wrong with you?" He's a Brony, Jeremy. A Brony! No wonder Elena's feelings for Damon have intensified. Stefan is a frigging Brony. Perhaps I shouldn't be so judgmental. It's likely Klaus compelled Stefan into Bronyism.
Stefan tells Jeremy to stake the vampire, or he'll remove the chains entirely. When Stefan gives him some slack, My Little Prisoner lunges at Jeremy who stakes him, but misses the heart. I hear Buffy tell Dawn that it's okay, she missed the heart her first time, too, but when I go to the relevant scene in the "Lessons" recap, I find that Sep didn't bother to either include or even mention that line. I really hate when I find one of my favorite recappers has failed to set me up for a link 10+ years prior to when my current episode aired, and seven years prior to when my show premiered. Thanks, Sep. Thanks a lot. You just wait and see if I ever give you a good setup for one of your Buffy recaps. Um.
Jeremy stakes and stakes and stakes My Little Prisoner until he's finally dead. I wish these vampires would poof the way the Sunnydale vampires did. Stefan finally has to call off Jeremy. I think for a moment that Jeremy might charge at Stefan , but instead, he takes us to the Olive Garden...commercial.
Pageant. Caroline is bussing tables and the berating the waiters. she barks at the orchestra to be a little more upbeat. And I'm supposed to recognize what they're playing. Everyone else on the entire internet does, but I don't, and I forgot to note what they're playing. Thankfully, Klaus saves me from myself and by calling Caroline's attention to the fact that Tyler has just arrived and he's walking hand-in-hand with Hayley. Joseph Morgan somehow manages to convince me that Klaus is simultaneously thrilled by this development, and broken hearted on Caroline's behalf. Caroline is probably acting, but not only acting disturbed to see her boy holding another girl's hand. She turns to Klaus and says, "Let's just get today over with." Amen, sister. Amen.
Now, am I wrong? Did Tyler not tell her to wear a dress? He did, right, so why is Hayley wearing a bandage? I didn't even know they came in that color. Anyhow, Hayley walks up to the table, where the pageant tiara waits on pillow. Picking it up and putting it on her head, Hayley says, "I can't believe that I won. I just want to thank the judges for seeing past the fact that I'm a raging bitch." Heh. Tyler takes her actions more seriously. "You don't want to do that. Those girls will cut you. They have nails." Double heh. Hayley replies: "I have claws." Meh. Still, she puts down the tiara, just before Caroline takes center stage.
Taking the microphone, Caroline presents the Miss Mystic Court, but not before reminding everyone that she is still the reigning Miss Mystic Falls. Shouldn't she be wearing the tiara, and then place it on the head of this year's winner? Is one of the contestants wearing Elena's gown from her pageant? Oh never mind that. Look, there are two women of color in the Court. Okay, that's actually good on the diversity front. Of course they don't have any speaking lines, but I complained about the mere appearance of Kim in chains, so I'm glad to see another appearances-only scene in which the show does better. Damon can't help but steal a glance at Elena. Surely, he's remembering last year. Elena is too.
As Caroline introduces the contestants, Matt approaches Elena and asks if she's seen Jeremy. Matt's been "wrangling" the escorts at Caroline's behest, and Jeremy isn't among them. Matt then asks Elena if Jeremy told her about his nightmares..."The ones where he kills you?" Elena says she'll find him, but then stops talking, so we can watch April make her descent down the stairs -- wearing her lovely red dress. She tells Matt that April is about to be abandoned (much like Stefan abandoned Elena, last time). Matt says he's got it, so he's playing the Damon role and it looks like he'll have to do that "weird dance thing" after all. Jeremy's name is announced, but he's not there, so Matt steps in. When April takes his arm, she could not be more pleased. Matt tells her Jeremy is running late. Elated, April chirps that she guesses Matt will do.
On the dance floor, Matt whispers to April to take the lead. The partners bow and curtsy to each other. The "weird dance thing starts." Damon steals another hopeful glance at Elena, but then realizes she's preoccupied. Looking back at him distracts her a little. Once Damon looks away, Elena steps off to make a phone call. Caroline rushes over and asks where Jeremy is. Elena explains she's calling him right now, but he's not picking up. Damon has joined the ladies by then and speculates that perhaps Jeremy overdid it at the open bar, which would be totally acceptable in Mystic Falls, because the adults are brain dead. Remember, this is the town in which student can advertise keg parties in their high school.
Elena says, "Matt says that Jeremy's been having dreams about killing vampires, and he's been hiding it from me." Wow, she's covering for him a little, which is a good thing, because she knows Damon would kill him in a heartbeat. Damon looks concerned, but tells Elena, "Relax. I'm sure he's fine." Elena: "I don't know. I have a bad feeling." Damon says, "If I'm not worried, you shouldn't be worried. Let it go. I'll go look for him." Caroline nods in approval and fakes up a smile for Damon that fades as soon as he walks off.
Alone with Elena, Caroline tells Elena to go home. She'll look around the Lockwood place for the Germ. Elena: "Maybe Damon's right. Maybe he grabbed a bottle from the bar and snuck off to the woods." Caroline says, "No, Damon's never right. Damon is sneaky and manipulative, and rude, but he's never right. How can you not see that?" Well, probably because he's frequently right, Caroline. I mean, yeah, he's definitely sneaky, manipulative, and rude, but as far as being right is concerned, his batting average certainly isn't the lowest in the Fellowship of the Falls. Elena feels much the same way I do, so to answer Caroline, she says, "I don't know, but why do I think that you won't hesitate to tell me?" Caroline: "Okay. Fine. Friend-tervention." Oh that's a pretty gnarly portmanteau, Care Bear. But I've interrupted you. Please continue.
Caroline: "I think your so-called feelings for Damon are really starting to cloud your judgment, and I don't like it." Klaus walks up then, but Caroline doesn't let that stop her. "The thought of you two together really makes me want to barf." Klaus leans in close and whispers, "Easy, love. You're making a scene." As I mentioned earlier, given Damon's past actions toward a then-human Caroline, everything about her distaste for a Damon/Elena pairing rings true, and is, on whole, a good thing. That said, Caroline is there with KLAUS who killed Jenna, made all their lives a living hell, and tried to kill Elena, until he realized that he'd be better served by keeping her alive to act as a wet nurse to his hybrids, and a future brood mare to the doppelgänger bloodline. Elena is more restrained than I, so she only says, "Wow, Caroline. Thank you for making this very difficult time so much easier." When Elena storms off, Caroline shrugs and asks, "How did I become the bad guy?" Klaus: "Let's get you a drink. I'll tell you all about being the bad guy."
Inside the Lockwood Mansion, Damon is on the phone with Stefan, hoping against hope that his brother hasn't roped Elena's brother into a world of crazy. Stefan says he had no choice. Elena needs a cure. Damon: "Oh, right, so you can turn her back into the girl who is still in love with you." Stefan says he gets why Damon wouldn't want to believe it, but Elena is no longer herself. Damon's all of course you would think that. Meanwhile, Jeremy is staring down at his arm. His hunter's mark has grown.
When Stefan gets off the phone with Damon, he asks Jeremy to look at the sketch of Connor's mark and show him how far the mark has grown. I've already read a bunch of, "Show me on the doll where the bad man touched you," takes on this, so I don't feel right presenting it as my own thought, but it was my own thought, the first time I watched this. Jeremy's in no mood to cooperate with a vampire. He refuses to tell Stefan anything, even when the vampire gets threatening. Eventually, Stefan turns on his compulsion eyes and demands to know what the mark looks like. Jeremy shoves a stake in Stefan's gut, and says, "I guess I can't be compelled anymore." That must be a relief, huh? Jeremy wastes the opportunity to stake Stefan while he's already down, picks up his weapons bag and walks out.
As Caroline and Klaus stroll the Lockwood grounds, Caroline complains about how Elena is acting. When Klaus suggests that being a vampire has changed Elena, Caroline says it only amplifies who you already are. Klaus smiles at her naiveté. Voice dripping with sarcasm, he agrees this is, "Very peculiar." Caroline can't help but notice his smirk, but when she asks about it, Klaus tells her it will eventually make sense.
As they take a seat, Caroline encourages Klaus to hurry up and find the cure and then asks if he'd ever take it. Klaus asks why he'd cure himself of being the most powerful creature on the planet. Caroline can't believe there wasn't a single moment he never wanted to be human. Klaus turns the question back at her.
From a distance, Tyler watches as his girlfriend laughs it up with his former master. Klaus pulls Caroline's Miss Mystic application from his suit coat and starts reading from it. It's a cute, playful scene, but the end of this episode turned me off Caroline (through no fault of her own) for the nonce, so I don't feel like going into detail. She's adorable. Klaus is adorable in his own fashion. Tyler is jealous.
Keeping an eye on the crowd, Damon spies Professor Shane wining, if not dining (or dining on) Hayley. When Damon sees Tyler, he asks how the two know each other. Tyler insists they don't and tells Damon he's paranoid. Damon: "The Council just got burnt to a crisp. Some mysterious hunter just blew through town, and this guy just happens to know everything about everything. Yes. Paranoid."
Inside the mansion, Jeremy digs through his weapons bag, conceals a few vampire killing tools on his person, then puts on his jacket and heads outside. He strides through the party with purpose, until April finds him and asks where he's been. Jeremy lies that he got stuck at work. April says if he was too chicken to do the dance, he should have just told her. He says, "No, no I knew the dance. I watched some lesson online, like a hundred times." Despite being smitten with Matt, April blushes with pleasure at that. Is this another triangle in the offing?
When Jeremy notices Shane is there, he asks April why. She explains he was a judge and then says she talked to him about her dad. Shane told her that Pastor Cliche never seemed depressed or suicidal. Jeremy gets distracted when he spies Elena across the party. When April notices he's preoccupied, she wonders what's up. Jeremy says, "Your dad was doing the right thing for this town. The whole Council was. They died heroes." Of course April has been compelled within an inch of her life, so she has no clue what he's going on about. Before she can ask, Jeremy takes off. You're a hell of a date, Germ.
Damon finds Shane inside the mansion. He demands the name of another hunter, but Shane insists there is no other name to give. At any given moment there are five hunters in existence. Most of them have no clue who or what they are, so finding them is pretty much impossible. Shane tries to stomp off, but Damon Stealth-Salvatores right up in his face. Shane looks momentarily startled, but covers well enough and says, "Subtle." Yep, that's Damon's middle name. Damon says, "Like you didn't already know." Shane doesn't argue, so Damon tells him he's got five seconds to give him another hunter's name or he's dead. Shane blahs about the mark and says even if they get a hunter with a complete one, and find what they're looking for..."the thing you're looking for is sealed with a spell only a certain kind of witch can perform." Shane doesn't intend to answer, so Damon grabs him. Shane winces. Damon says, "I love pressure points. What kind of witch." Shane: "Come on, you're a big boy. You can figure this out." Damon smiles. "A Bennett witch." Shane: "Aren't too many of those lying around, as I'm sure you know. None of this matters until Bonnie's back in touch with her magic. Between the two of us, who do you think she trusts to help her get there?" Damon releases his hold on Shane who doesn't know when to keep his mouth shut. "Five seconds are up -- unless you just realized you need me alive. Now if you'll excuse me, I have a scholarship to award." Back outside, Caroline announces that April Young is this year's Miss Mystic Falls. What a crock. The kid just blew back into town from boarding school and her father killed himself and a bunch of Council members, some of whom must have been from Founding Families. Come on.
Elena saves me from thinking about that anymore when she spots Jeremy rushing through the crowd. She hustles off the stage and follows him. Thankfully, Matt takes everything in. Inside, Elena finds the Germ waiting for her -- stake in hand. She tells him to put it down, but he insists Connor was right. "All I can think about is killing vampires." Elena tries to talk him down. Jeremy wants to believe he's not like Connor. He doesn't want to hurt Elena, but everything inside him is telling him to stake her. Elena appeals to him as his sister and assures him she'd never do anything to hurt him. I saw people screaming about how she shoved a knife in his neck, but you know -- that was a Hunter's Curse thing. Since Jeremy is a hunter, he ought to understand, if you ask me.
Jeremy isn't even thinking. Instead, he stabs his palm with the stake until he begins to bleed. When she sees the blood, Elena starts getting into game face, despite herself. She shakes it off and tells Jeremy to get the blood away from her. When he comes after her, she throws him off. Jeremy lands on the ground and appears unconscious, but when Elena kneels over him and begs him to wake up, he surprises her and sticks a small stake into her neck. Partially immobilized by the wood, Elena can only clutch at her neck as Jeremy readies his full-sized stake. When he raises it above her chest, Matt enters the room and yells Jeremy's name. Jeremy tells Matt to leave, but Matt tries to reason with him. Jeremy hesitates, but he still looks determined to stake Elena. It's then that Stefan swoops in, pulls Jeremy off Elena, and tells Matt to get Jeremy out of there. After Stefan tosses Jeremy to Matt, he tends to Elena. When he gets the wood out of her neck, Elena, still struggling, looks up at him.
Party. Hayley is impressed that Carol Lockwood parties harder than Tyler, and wonders if she too carries the lycanthropy gene. Tyler explains that he got it from his dad. We get some Hayley backstory. She was adopted. Her adoptive parents found out she was a werewolf the night she did -- when she tore apart their living room. When Tyler asks what triggered he transition, Hayley says it was a drunken boating accident. I think she's lying. Is she lying? Tyler prods Hayley in an effort to get her to admit that she knows Professor Shane. She insists she doesn't. Don't believe her, Tyler. Don't believe her. Pudding Pup, I'll tell you right now, what I think her deal is. I think Shane has convinced Hayley to break the hybrids' sire bonds to Klaus so that Klaus will be more vulnerable, and while that isn't a bad thing, I suspect that by helping Hayley free the hybrids, you're helping Shane harm your town, your friends, and maybe yourself.
Tyler doesn't listen to me because he's trained his werepire hearing on Klaus and Caroline. Klaus is telling Caroline that there was one moment he wanted to be human. "Once, I was on a trek in the Andes and a hummingbird flew up to me, and just hovered there, staring at me. Its tiny heart was just pattering like a machine gun. And I thought what a thing, you know -- to have to work that hard every day, just to stay alive. To be constantly on the verge of death -- and how satisfying every day must be that it survived. And that was the only time I thought about being human." Caroline smiles, but her expression is opaque. When Hayley notices that Tyler is listening in, she asks what Klaus is saying. Tyler: "A bunch of B.S. about being human. The sooner we get rid of this guy, the better."
Stefan chases Elena across the lawn. She doesn't have time to talk. She's got to find Jeremy. Stefan confesses it's his fault that Jeremy had that reaction. Jeremy was with him, today, killing vampires, so they could make his map grow, and find the cure. Stefan thinks that each time a hunter kills a vampire, it increases his urge to kill more. If getting her humanity back means stripping Jeremy of his, Elena doesn't want the cure. Stefan: "He's the only way to fix all of this." Elena: "You mean me. The only way to fix me. You don't have to love me like this. This is who I am now. The old Elena died when she went off that bridge. Let her go." Noticing Stefan's attention has been diverted, Elena follows his eyes, until she spies Damon come up from behind her. When she turns back to him, Stefan lowers his head and skulks off.
Gilbert Gables. Matt finds Jeremy packing his bags. He won't live there if he's in danger of killing his sister. Matt: "Elena knows that. That's why she moved out and asked me to move in." Matt isn't one of them, so he can keep an eye on Jeremy and keep the hunter stuff in check. Being a hunter must leave one with some brain damage, because Jeremy asks where Elena will go. We cut, of course, to...
Mossy Manse. Damon opens the door for Elena. Stefan emerges from the parlor. Elena explains to him that she can no longer stay at home. Stefan says, "Pick a room." He waits a beat, then adds, "I'll crash somewhere else." We cut to...
The barn. Kim is on the floor. She begs Tyler to tell her it's over. She can't take much more of this. Tyler crouches by her side and nods. "It's over. Nice work. We are one step closer to ending this." Wait. I thought she had to transition over and over until it was no longer painful. That's what Hayley said. If she can't take much more of this, it must still be painful. Plus, shouldn't they try to get Klaus to give her an order, just to see if this "therapy" worked? Tyler ignores me and takes out his phone. He sends a text that reads: "Kim broke the sire bond. Where are you?" We cut to...
Professor Shane's Office. Hayley reads Tyler's message and smiles at Shane. "We got another one." Shane says, "Good. Then we're almost ready." Hayley says, "I want to leave Tyler out of this when it all goes down." Shane: "We'll talk when you've broken the last one."
Mossy Manse: Damon brings Elena a whiskey, but is surprised that she's drinking it. "I was being polite. I thought you hated whiskey." Elena says, "My brother wants to kill me." Damon eye-things at her and says, "Welcome to the club." They clink glasses. Elena: "Jeremy can't live with me. Stefan wants to fix me, and Caroline flat-out admitted that she doesn't like me this way. I think it's safe to say that I'm not so great with this vampire thing." Damon says, "You want to know what I think? I don't think I've ever seen you more alive." Elena chuckles at that, brings up their dance at her Miss Mystic pageant, then adds, "I wanted to dance with you, today." Taking her glass, Damon lays it to his on the coffee table, stands, extends his hand to Elena, helps her up, and leads her in front of the fireplace and then I have to block my ears for a few seconds, because my daughter is shrieking with delight, over hearing Ed Sheeran singing, "Kiss miss." Fortunately, Damon and Elena aren't talking, just dancing. We cut to...
Nowhere. We're staying right in Mossy Manse, so let's get back to the good stuff. (I should burn this episode to DVD and cut out all of the buzz killing cuts to Fortress Forbes, but I'm far too lazy to do that.) As Damon and Elena dance, he spins her out and then pulls her back to him. They kiss and I can't decide if Damon initiates it, or if it's mutual, but I am pretending Elena initiated it, so that their first full-fledged love scene isn't tainted by thoughts of sire-bond nullification of Elena's agency and consent. The kissing intensifies. Elena forces Damon up against the wall (and knocks over a lamp in the process). That is definitely initiated by Elena (on screen, that is, not just in my imagination). Damon looks startled, but game. There is some more kissing, then Elena rips open Damon's shirt. It's Damon's turn to zoop Elena up against a wall, but that doesn't bother me. She started it. She also wraps her leg around his waist. Eventually, they end up in Damon's bed. Elena is on top of Damon. She pushes him down and kisses him. Now he's on top of her. They switch positions again. And again. His lips travel down her body. Her lips travel down his. They lock lips again and carry us into the title card. There. I fixed it. You're welcome.
Okay, now here's all the crap I skipped: Fortress Forbes. I am still mad at the show, so you're getting the skinny. I did not cut back and forth between the Mossy Manse scenes and these scenes, because it's the cutting that mostly made me mad, but I'm getting ahead of myself. Stefan thinks he needs to let go of Elena. Caroline insists that Stefan can't give up on her, because together, they're "epic." Caroline is sure there's something wrong with Elena. It's when they're discussing how Klaus is going to need fresh, human Elena blood (because Tyler has un-sired most of the hybrids) that a light goes on over both their heads. Caroline figures it out first, though. She decides that Elena must feel a sire bond to Damon. I'm not going through her explanations, either, because I don't have to. So neener. The bottom line is, Damon's blood (via an injection from Meredith) made Elena a vampire. Sire bond among vampires is rare, but it happens (to give the show its due, this was explained back when Damon figured out Tyler's creepy loyalty toward Klaus). Now I don't have to talk about that any more. Ta dah!
I know all of Elena's feelings for Damon aren't caused by the sire bond. She certainly wanted him before she even turned. Here is why I was so upset when I wrote the recaplet. The Show failed to let their first love scene be joyful. They squandered it. Now Damon never told Elena to be in love with him. In fact, until she and Stefan broke up, Damon had been taking the annoying high road. He called Stefan to Elena's side, without her knowledge or consent, when she was first feeling the effects of the hunter's curse. When Elena got all cutesy-wootsy with Damon, after he saved her from burning up, he said out loud he was taking the annoying high road, and explained that Stefan was only being shady because he was working to find a cure for Elena.
It's important to Damon, and we've known this for at least a couple of seasons, that things remain "real" between him and Elena. I do not think he would take advantage of the sire bond just to bed her. Not everyone is "real" to Damon. Believe me, I know. I remember him compelling Caroline into bed and how he used her as his chew toy. I remember Ace Reporter Andi. She was only last season, right. But forcing Elena to do anything flies in the face of all of his character development, so despite the promo monkeys suggestions regarding the episode, I don't think Damon took advantage of the sire bond -- at least in a romantic way.
Provided Elena's romantic feelings for Damon aren't now being written off as the result of the sire bond, I can accept this wrinkle. I can even accept that maybe it was the sire bond that intensified her feelings to the point where she finally felt free to indulge them (provided she doesn't want to take it all back, when and if the bond is broken). There does need to be conflict, after all. But regardless of how it all shakes out, I will always be disappointed that we did not get to enjoy their first time together, without all the cuts to Caroline blathering. Stefan ended their scenes by saying, "Elena is sired to Damon." From there, we jumped right to the first view of Damon and Elena in bed together, and it made me sick. I watched in horror, not in joy. If this plot point had been introduced in the episode, I could possibly get on board with the exploration of this theory. I just hate that those of us who have been waiting for this never got the chance to enjoy it, even in the moment. Seriously, even in the very moment that it was playing out, it was being undercut by Caroline's theory. Between that, and the thought that it's just an easy out (just like this frigging cure is an easy out to Elena's vampirism), I started to question if this show is still worth my time, interest and carpel tunnels. I hope it is, but I'll be keeping an eye on it. And that's all I have to say about that.
I'll be back Friday morning, with coverage of, "We'll Always Have Bourbon Street." In the meantime, please grade the episode at the top of the page and then come on over to the forum, where we always keep it real.