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1110 A.D. Italy (I think). A witch -- of African ancestry, of course -- gathers five hunky young lads in the woods. She does a little hokey. She does a little pokey. She adds a dash of hocus, and pinch of pocus. Presto-chango, Buffy's mystical ancestors now have five suitable, heavily tattooed, potential (and oh yes, this episode uses that word) suitors. If only there'd been the internet dating back then (which I'm not completely discounting, since according to The Vampire Diaries, there were Vikings and horses in Virginia, even earlier), we might have created a super race of monster hunters, but I digress.
The Mikaelsons court one of The Five. His name is Alexander. Rebekah takes a shine to him. Since The Five hunt creatures of the night, and the Mikaelsons enjoy the luxury of deceptive daywalker rings, they wine and dine Alexander rather than kill him. Did we know The Originals needed daylight rings? Note to the IRS: See! The DVDs are a valid professional expense.
Rebekah gets Alexander alone. He explains his tattoo. It's a map to a secret anti-vamp weapon. Xander (how could I not) takes Becky to bed. He asks if she'll accompany him, when he leaves to follow the map. Ever eager for love, the Original Vampire Barbie is down with that plan. She listens intently as Xander explains that his sword holds the key to the mystical map tattooed upon his fine physique. She then asks about the curious dagger on his bedside table. Xander picks up the dagger and, dipping it in a small bottle of White Oak ash, explains that it is a special weapon to be used against a special sort of vampire. When Rebekah asks if all of his prey is so evil that they must be put down, Xander changes the subject, kisses her, fondles her and then daggers her. Poor Beckster.
While Xander is endaggering Becky, it seems the other 4/5s of The Five are daggering the other Mikaelsons. Aside from Klaus, Elijah is the only other Original we see, and I'd be much more excited about that had he washed his hair once in the century prior, but alas... The dagger doesn't work on Original Hybrid Klaus, so he kills their hunters and undaggers his siblings (except possibly Finn), browbeats Rebekah and gets her to confess that the ultimate anti-vamp weapon is a cure for vampirism.
Present. Bonnie is off to visit a nearby college. An anthropology professor there has taken over her grandmother's course load. He has some of her possessions, which he wants to give to Bonnie. The professor is a true believer in witchcraft, and when he's alone with Bonnie, he gets her to confess that while she did practice, she no longer does because she took it too far and there were consequences. The professor says he's learned a lot about magic in his travels, and there are other ways for her to practice her art. Bonnie is understandably intrigued.
Damon and Elena accompany Bonnie to the college. Damon's going to teach Elena how to identify prey, feed, control herself such that she doesn't kill her food, and compel her victims into forgetfulness. During Elena's first attempt, her compassion gets the better of her. Angel fans will feel me, when I complain that compassion is fast becoming the C-word equivalent of Mutant Enemy's overused champion.
Since it's Halloween, there's a Frat "Murder House" event. Damon and the girls dress up as Jack the Ripper and two of his victims. No, I don't know where or how they got their costumes, either. While Bonnie is off with the professor, Damon encourages Elena to find another meal ticket. When she sees a guy dropping a roofie in a girl's drink, Elena's compassion is rationalized into silence, and she feels free to feed, and I enjoy a brief fantasy featuring Elena as a vampiric Dexter. Damon has to stop her from killing the chump, which is kind of too bad. What bothers me more is that I think no one ever took the drugged drink away from that girl. I mean, Elena intentionally bumps into Roofie Rapist (RR) and his victim, but I think she spills RR's drink, not the girl's, because when Elena apologizes for her "clumsiness," it is to RR that she hands another drink.
Anyhow, after Elena makes come-hither eyes at RR, he follows her into an conveniently empty room. She compels him into silence, drinks her fill and then some. Damon stops her before she becomes a murderer. When he asks her how she feels, Elena admits she feels good, then hugs Damon and whispers in his ear that she wants more. She's only sort of talking about blood.
Elena and Damon dance with and feed on new victims, then dance with each other. I guess it's hot, but I really think the show is overdoing the fake blood. While blood vomitus (and really, any vomitus) bothers me, blood itself usually doesn't. I just wish Elena would wipe her mouth after dinner. Has vampirism smothered her commitment to hygiene, grooming, neatness, and darn it -- old-fashioned manners? Someone get her a napkin, or perhaps a hanky. Anyhow, Elena and Damon revel until Bonnie Wet-Blanket returns. Elena's compassion awakens and causes her to rush out of the Frat House, just when things were getting interesting. Bonnie follows. Elena decides she should be with Stefan and going through all of "this" with Stefan, so I can't decide if it's enjoying her meal that bothers her, of if it's the fact that she's so enjoying her lover's brother. Damon overhears the whole scene, gets his feelings hurt, imparts a little Vampire Philosophy, and says it's time to return home.
Meanwhile, back in Mystic Falls, Stefan goes to Klaus to find out about The Five. Klaus says they'll need Rebekah, and since she's currently disowned Klaus, he needs Stefan to lure the girl to their side. After Klaus cajoles him, Stefan does so by promising Rebekah a clean slate with him and perhaps Matt.
Rebekah and Stefan go to Klaus Haus for dinner, which features human food. I mean it features food humans eat, not humans as food. There's more talking than dining though because most of these scenes are the set-up to learning the 1110 A.D. backstory. When the reminiscing is done, Klaus immediately pisses off Rebekah, who storms out before telling them how to find the sword which will help them decipher the tattoo map. Klaus has Jeremy studying Connor's tattoo and sketching it because Jeremy is the only one who can see it, and when Klaus killed the Original Five, the then-visible tattoos disappeared. While Jeremy is drawing, Connor lets slip that the tattoo expands every time he kills another vampire.
Rebekah finds Stefan at Mossy Manse. She's sorry she stormed off, but she cannot deal with Klaus. So say all of us. When Stefan confesses that he wants the cure not only for Elena but also for himself, Rebekah is touched. She admits that even though Xander betrayed her, she loved him still. She even went to the trouble of burying him at the church where she and Xander were to be married. As soon as the words escape her lips, she realizes she's been played. Stefan wanted to know Xander's final resting place because she buried him with his cure map-key/sword. Klaus appears from the shadows, dagger and White Oak ash in hand. Rebekah gets in a final dig at Klaus about never being able to love, then he daggers her. Stefan, the Judas, hangs his head. Klaus orders him to tell no one of the cure. Just stash Becky's body somewhere it won't be found, compel Jeremy to forget all he's learned, and keep his yapper shut. The hybrids will babysit Connor while Klaus flies off to Italy to fetch the sword.
Damon sees Elena to her front porch -- their sort of special spot. She apologizes for earlier. She thinks he's right about what a vampire should be, but she hates that feeling. She doesn't want to be... Damon finishes for her. "You don't want to be like me." Stefan opens the Gilbert Gables door and saves Elena from any more confessions. He lies that there's no more news about the hunter, and Damon takes his leave.
Elena tells Stefan that while she learned how to feed without killing, she hates it. It might get easier, but she doesn't want it to. She feels like she's becoming someone she doesn't want to be. I am really disappointed in some of this, which I'll hit in the full recap, because while ultimately I have no problem with Elena choosing not to enjoy vampirism, I have huge problems with her making that choice in the span of mere minutes. I have no desire to watch her continue to play some sad sack victim. It's making her intolerable rather than relatable. My 13 year old insists I add that book Elena, in both her human and vampire forms, is far more enjoyable.
By episode's end, Connor has killed one of his guards and escaped. As promised, his tattoo map expands. We cut back to the college, where he visits the professor, who says, "Shouldn't you be in Mystic Falls, killing vampires?" Connor glowers at him. "Why the hell did you send me there?" Grr argh.
I'll be back with the whole story in the full recap. In the meantime, please grade the episode at the top of the page and then come on over to the forum, where we're taking up a Wet Wipe collection for Elena.
Want more? The full recap starts right below!Welcome back, everyone. I hope those of you who were hit by Sandy are doing better than you were this time last week. I have friends who are still without power (and some without power and water), but they're safe and sound, and made of much tougher stuff than I am. While the Seaboard is just starting to fight its way back, there is some immediate good news. Our long national nightmare is over. Okay, if you think President Obama is our long national nightmare, you might not see it that way. I'm looking at it from a non-partisan point of view though, so I'm speaking strictly of the election itself.
This is sad, morbid, really, but I won't let that stop me. Years ago (I think I was 19), my dad's twin was dying. We were at the hospital with him. He had a treatment, and then, because of the cancer (and the "cure") he was really out of it. We had a baseball game on the TV. When it ended, my uncle whipped off his oxygen mask and said, "Are we done? Is it over? Are we done?" That's exactly how I feel about this election. I mentioned this the other day, on Facebook, and Demian said I should have saved my anecdote for something better than Facebook. I reminded him I'm not above plagiarizing myself, and now I've proven it (and will do so more than once in this recap). So there you go. It's over, America. It's over. And if it's not. If I'm hallucinating, please just hush up and let me keep doing so. Oh my word. I just realized this is turning into an episode of The Recapper Diaries, so I'll just shut up and get to the show. You ready? Okay!
1110 A.D. A witch -- of African ancestry, of course -- gathers five hunky young lads in the woods, possibly to audition them for the first ever Chippendales show. They have capes, and make me want to watch Thor. The witch does a little hokey. She does a little pokey. She adds a dash of hocus, and pinch of pocus. Presto-chango, Buffy's mystical ancestors now have five proper heavily-tattooed potential (and oh yes, this episode uses that word) suitors. If only there'd been the internet dating back then (which I'm not completely discounting, since according to The Vampire Diaries, there were Vikings and horses in Virginia, even earlier), we might have created a super race of monster hunters, but I digress. Yes, most of that was plagiarized from the recaplet, but that's only because I regularly screw myself over when writing the recaplets. I should have exercised some restraint and saved that for this recap, so think of his as a successful recovery mission, and please follow me to a fresh, original paragraph, starting at...
Mystic Grill. Rebekah shows up and presents Matt with keys to a brand new truck she bought him to replace the one that's still probably in the bottom of the river, from when she tried to kill him. Matt snarks that perhaps Rebekah should be giving it to Elena, since she actually killed her. I love Rebekah, but I hope she gets less needy as the season progresses. I can empathize with her only to a point. After that, my compassion (sorry, Elena, I know that's your gig) turns to contempt.
Klaus watches the whole scene and taunts his sister about trying too hard. He's not wrong, and yet scenes between these two always make me glad I'm an only child -- yeah, even beyond their undeniable incestuous vibe. There's exposition about how Klaus didn't leave town, which, yes, we already get because he's standing in the Mystic Grill. Rebekah reminds Klaus they're still in a fight, just like the Salvatores, but Klaus tells her things have changed. There's a chance The Five have resurfaced. Rebekah is all: I don't care about The Five and I hate your stupid face, or similar.
Whitmore College. Damon drives his beautiful blue convertible onto campus, and as near as I can tell, parks in the middle of a walkway right at the quad. I don't know a campus in America where that wouldn't get you shot, but I guess vampires don't have to worry about non-wooden bullets. To my non-American readers: I kid about the getting shot thing. I just realized that since our reputation as gun-loving yahoos proceeds us, you might have taken that seriously. Parking on the quad would only get you water-boarded at most American universities. I swear.
I don't think I realized this when writing the recaplet, but one thing that screams out at me right now is how frigging exposition-heavy this episode is. Elena mopes that college may no longer be in her future. Damon tells her to stop the pity party. If he can go to college, Elena surely can. Taking the bait, Bonnie expresses surprise as she questions if Damon really went to college. He eye-things at the girls and says, "Sure. Plenty of times. I always had a thing for sorority girls." Elena rolls her eyes at him. Bonnie says, "You're disgusting." Damon whispers, "I know," as he eye-things some more. As they take off, he leers at a young co-ed who passes them.
Bonnie leads Damon and Elena into a lecture hall, where Anthropology Professor Shane (David Alpay) is giving a lecture on witches. The girls agree he's hot as the professor talks about how every culture "in reality, or in this reality at least" has witches who are the architects of everything that goes bump in the night like ghosts, etc. He includes doppelgängers in his short list, which is our first clue that he doesn't believe what he's saying about it not being real. I mean I watch a show which features two doppelgängers, and yet doppelgängers don't spring to mind, when I'm talking about popular beliefs on the supernatural.
When Damon cracks something about the professor being "Witch-a-pedia," Elena laughs, but soon starts fretting that she too may be a ripper. Damon assures her she isn't, but when she continues to worry, he tells her to pick a victim and they'll find out. He follows her gaze and tells her the stoner she's looking at is a bad idea. Stoners are too paranoid and a vampire doesn't want the extra buzz. Geeky girls are suspicious when someone is too nice to them. He points out a pretty blonde, and says pretty girls are easy prey because they tend to be self-absorbed. That's kind of mean, Damon. Way to stereotype people. Then there's obligatory moment where the professor calls them out for interrupting, which I have never, ever experienced in a lecture hall. Between this and parking on the frigging quad, I have to wonder where our writers went to college. Right now, I'm thinking Convenient Cliche U. We cut to...
Klaus Haus. When Klaus enters the room where he's got a shirtless Connor tied up, Stefan is already there. Gesturing at Connor, Stefan says, "I was going to take him, but I figured you went to such trouble to truss him up in your red room of pain..." Heh. I like it when Stefan gets to snark. Klaus: "It's from the Inquisition. I thought it was a nice touch." And it is, but Klaus admits he hasn't gotten much out of Connor. He hasn't said anything about either the Council explosion or whatever "greater evil" is supposed to be coming their way. Connor reminds Klaus he doesn't know anything. Klaus tells him not to worry, as he (Klaus) knows plenty.
Klaus and Stefan leave the red room of pain (I really wish I'd made Red Room of Pain this episode's headline, darn it), to speak privately. There's yet more exposition about Klaus healing Elena. When Klaus is less than forthcoming about The Five, Stefan makes a bold threat: he'll hang around all day and pester Klaus. Um? Klaus is a nearly unkillable Original, and yet Stefan's threat to nag him strikes enough fear in Klaus heart to persuade him to talk, at least a little. Ah. More exposition. The Brotherhood of the Five was a group of highly skilled vampires. The Originals first crossed paths with them in 12th Century Italy.
Even flashing back to an Italian village, circa 1114 does not spare us from present-day Klaus's exposition. The Mikaelsons had followed the Normans as they conquered the south. They fed and turned people as they went. The exposition stops for a blessed moment, as one of the Chippendales Hunters, Alexander (Paul Telfer) preaches to the crowd about the demons who live among them. Expositing present-day Klaus interrupts via voice-over though. I look at the counter on my DVR and realize I'm only 11 minutes in. If I'm going to get through this without staking myself, I've got to do some glossing. Basically, the Originals were less than discreet with their kills, and attracted too much attention. I know, you're shocked, too. Oh, look. There's Elijah, circa 1114. Oh no. Has he not washed his hair in 114 years? Darn it, Show. When Daniel Gillies is on the show, his hair must be in top form, okay. If we can accept there were Vikings and horses in Virginia, circa 1000 A.D., we can surely accept that vampires of the Middle Ages bathed more than their human counterparts.
Anyhow, Elijah and Klaus watch as Alexander opens a crate and releases a vampire. When the sun strikes the beast, he bursts into flame. Elijah notes that Xander (yeah, I'm calling him that) is putting on quite a show. Klaus (who -- is it just me, or does he look like Harry Styles there?) brags he could eat the hunter for sport. Elijah preaches discretion because Original stories are spreading, thanks largely to Kol and Klaus's failure to control themselves. Too bad Caroline wasn't a vampire back then. She could have taught them a thing or two about control. Oh no, wait, she'd suck at that because she's good at it. Right. Anyhow, Klaus points out that Rebekah is canoodling with Xander and suggests that perhaps Elijah should do something about that.
Klaus Haus. We're still in the Ecru room of Exposition, so the conversation is what you'd expect. Klaus says Connor is the first hunter of his kind that he's seen since 1114. Rebekah fell in love with Xander and learned many of the brotherhood's secrets. Klaus will share them with Stefan, provided Stefan gets Rebekah over there. They're in a fight, after all. Klaus wants to make peace with her, so he can get some important information from her. Stefan wants to know what's in it for him. Klaus tells him to get Rebekah there, and he'll tell him, "...but trust me. That hunter in there holds the answer to all your prayers." Commercial.
Sidebar. Okay, to keep myself from falling asleep during all the exposition, I did a little speculating. Call me Captain Obvious, but it seems the five hunters were created (or empowered, or whatever) not just as general vampire hunters, but specifically to stop the five Originals. Agreed? Okay. I guess that's not that much speculation after all. It seemed bigger before I put it in black and white. I now return you to our program.
Mystic Grill. Matt's talking to April, who babbles excitedly at him. Clearly, she's a Pudding Pop fan. When Rebekah joins April, Matt is surprised that Rebekah has found a friend. He pretty much can't stand being near her, so he leaves. When April's eyes follow him, Rebekah warns the girl that she already has dibs.
Stefan slides into the booth to April, compels her to remember nothing of the conversation to come, and tells Rebekah he's there to get her to talk to Klaus. Rebekah is all We're in a fight. Stefan knows, but he's asking Rebekah to play along, so he can find out what Klaus is up to. Rebekah wants to know what's in it for her. I can't decide if these parallels (the Salvatore and Mikaelson siblings being in a fight, Rebekah and Stefan asking what's in it for them, etc.) are a nice touch or heavy-handed, because the exposition has already killed the part of my brain I used to use for such things. The bottom line: Stefan promises Rebekah a clean slate with him, and that he'll also do his best to get Matt to give her the same, if only she'll cooperate. We cut to...
Whitmore College. Exterior. Damon tutors Elena as they follow the pretty blonde girl from the lecture hall. Elena approaches her out in the middle of the crowded quad and pretends like she's a student in the Anthropology class in need of the reading list. She compels her prey and is all ready to feed, when she notices the wallpaper on the girl's smartphone. It's her and her little sister. Our Lady of Compassion can't go through with the feed, and compels the girl to go back to class. Damon gives her hell. "Everybody is someone's uncle, or father, or camp counselor, or Bible study teacher. Elena, you don't know these people. Why do you care?" She cares because she's our Lady of Compassion.
They're interrupted by Bonnie, who asks what's going on. Damon snaps that Elena's teaching him about feelings. Elena asks Bonnie if she got to talk to Professor Shane. She did. He's found some of her grandmother's things, and he's going to dig them up for her. Bonnie then hands them a flyer for a "Murder House" frat party. Damon declares it solves all their problems. "Douche Central." He rubs his hands together and tells Elena she'll be eating well tonight, then asks the girls if they should dress as victims or killers.
Klaus Haus. In the red room of pain, Rebekah asks how Klaus knows Connor is one of The Five, since he doesn't seem to be sporting their trademark tattoo. Klaus exposits...zzzz
Oh, sorry. If you made it through this episode and then still wanted to read the recap, I should be way more considerate of your time and patience, because I know how I feel about hearing all of this once, never mind multiple times. Klaus says the tattoos aren't visible to the naked eye on the new model. He then leads Stefan and Rebekah into the dining room, where there's people food (not people who are food) on the table and a compelled young lady waits on them. Klaus is grateful to the now-exploded Council for rounding up all the vervain in town. Did they really get it all? I guess so. I don't think this is a plot point. I think it's more of a contrivance so that we no longer have to wonder why the locals are again compellable and edible. It just seems a bit facile to me. I get tired of the villains being so invulnerable while the good guys can't even get their hands on a plant. Whatever. I've skipped a bunch of exposition, mainly about Rebekah and Klaus's fight, Elena's blood, making hybrids, etc. but you're not missing anything. Stefan agrees, because he says, "Let me just name the million other people I'd rather be having dinner with right now." Preach it, brother. Klaus asks Rebekah's forgiveness. Rebekah says she'll take it under advisement. Stefan asks about Rebekah's hunter. We flashback to...
Italy. 1114. Elijah, Klaus and Rebekah have daylight rings (I questioned this in the recaplet because I thought they didn't need them, but my friend Christy refreshed my memory). They believe this keeps Xander from suspecting they're supernatural beasties, but c'mon, we know how this is going to end. When Elijah asks about the brotherhood, Xander says, "We are but five men, bound by fire and the last breath of a dying witch to single cause -- the destruction of all vampires." They believe they can achieve this because they have the ultimate weapon which they believe no vampire can survive.
Back in the present, Stefan asks how a weapon is the answer to all his prayers. Klaus and Rebekah share a look. Stefan suggests they stop with all the theatrics and get to the point. Klaus is all about the theatrics though, silly Stefan. It's like you and brooding. It's his gift. Klaus interrupts me to point out that they'll get to the "weapon" but first they need to solve the puzzle. The puzzle in question is the hunter's tattoo. It's a map that will lead them to its "treasure." Rebekah points out that the map seems to be invisible, but Klaus is already two steps ahead. He knows Jeremy can see it, and he's already had his hybrids snatch him. Stefan flies to Germ's side, but Klaus stops him from rescuing the boy. When Jeremy declares he's not helping Klaus do anything, Klaus snatches his Protect-o Ring and begs to differ. Commercial.
Whitmore College. Night. Murder House Frat Party. Damon and the girls are dressed as Jack the Ripper and two victims. Their costumes are way too nice for a spur of the moment party, aren't they? Professor Shane is there. Bonnie goes off to talk to him while Damon helps Elena survey the living menu before her. She looks uneasy until she notices some guy slip a roofie in a girl's drink. She walks up to the couple, but instead of bumping into the girl and spilling her drugged drink, she bumps into Roofie Rapist (RR). Really, Show? You couldn't have put two more seconds thought into that. You underestimate how much of your audience already hates Elena. Since this is yet another episode about her overwhelming compassion, I don't think you mean this scene to play out the way it does -- which is to say, that while Elena thinks drugging a girl makes RR deserve a good bloodletting (and hey, no one's arguing with that), it looks like she doesn't give a rat's patootie that the poor girl is still going to be drugged into rape-able oblivion -- in the middle of a gosh darned fraternity party. Sheesh. Anyhow, Elena gets RR to follow her into an empty room, where she compels him into silence and then feeds with gusto. Damon has to stop her from draining her victim dry. He talks her off the ledge at the last second. She compels RR to leave and forget about "this." Damon compliments her and asks how she feels. Elena takes a moment to ponder and then is happy to announce she feels good. She hugs Damon and whispers into his ear, "I want more." She never, ever wipes her mouth, which is just rude, not to mention unsanitary.
Klaus Haus. As Jeremy is sketching Connor's tattoo, the hunter berates our boy for leading him into a trap at the hospital. He doesn't understand how Germ can see the tattoo, if he's a sympathizer. Jeremy wants to know where the tattoo comes from and why he's the only one who can see it. When Connor was serving in Iraq, he met a man who had an intense desire to hunt vampires and blah blah blah exposition cakes. He told Connor he was a "potential." I have Buffy Season 7 flashbacks. Connor blahs that he lost touch with his mentor, but one day, the tattoo just showed up on his hand. As he killed more vampires, the tattoo spread -- as if it was trying to tell him something, but Connor claims he doesn't know what.
Dining Room. Klaus sets up another flashback to 1114. Rebekah has Xander in bed. She's young, beautiful, and smitten. When she asks about the tattoo, Xander explains it's a map to the weapon, and his sword is the key to understanding it. He wonders if she's considered his offer to leave with her and follow the map. She has and is all for it. It's then that she notices that it's time for me to plagiarize the recaplet, again. She asks about the curious dagger on his bedside table. Xander picks up the dagger and, dipping it in a small bottle of White Oak ash, explains that it is a special weapon to be used against a special sort of vampire. It will disable them until such time as the weapon is found. When Rebekah asks if all of his prey is so evil that they must be put down, Xander changes the subject, kisses her, fondles her and then daggers her. Poor Beckster.
Present. Klaus tells Stefan that Xander and The Five endaggered all of The Originals that night. He then mocks Rebekah's ability to choose men. Stefan exposits about the dagger not working on Klaus because he's a hybrid. Klaus confirms that's so, and in a flashback, we see him covered in blood. He takes the dagger out of Rebekah's chest. When she wakes, she asks what happens. Klaus points to Xander who has been impaled by his own sword, and tacked to the wall like a knickknack. And this scene pisses me off because 1114 Klaus scolds Rebekah and says it's because of her stupidity that the whole family was nearly wiped out, but wait just a gosh darned second. Granted, yes, Rebekah let Xander get close enough to dagger her, but that means the other 4/5s of the Originals let the other 4/5s of the Brotherhood get close enough to dagger them, too -- including you, Satan Klaus. And let's not forget that you all are supposed to be super strong, even stronger than regular vampires, so I'm just not going to let you play the blame game with Becky here. Well, I guess I can't stop you, because the scene has already been shot and has aired, but I won't indulge your rantings. So there.
Back in the present, Klaus continues to chew the heck out of the scenery as he convinces Rebekah to tell Stefan what, exactly, this weapon is that can bring about an end to the vampire species. Rebekah finally admits the weapon is a cure. Commercial.
Stefan insists there's no cure. Rebekah assures him it's true. Stefan wonders why they didn't search for it. Klaus blahs that once the hunters died, the maps disappeared from their bodies. Since they were dead, there was no pressing need to find the cure, and it hasn't come up over the past 900 years. Klaus then belittles Rebekah more for handing her heart to any man who looks twice at her. Rebekah snaps back that no, she clearly hasn't learned her lesson because she's stayed with Klaus all these years. She gets in a dig about Klaus leaving Finn daggered. Klaus proclaims Finn a dullard. Rebekah knows Klaus just wants the cure now, so he can cure Elena and she can once again serve as wet nurse to any new hybrids he might mass-produce. She tells her brother to shove his cure and stomps out. Klaus tells Stefan he'll need to get Rebekah to reveal where the sword is. He knows Stefan will help because this gives him a chance to save Elena from being a vampire, which may well destroy her and her all holy compassion. Ptui. We cut to...
Whitmore College. Professor Shane is babbling about how Grams left an original edition of Stephen King's Cujo, which must be a shout-out to Tyler, who isn't in this week's episode. He soon turns the conversation to witchcraft and wants to know if she practices. Plagiarismtime. Bonnie confesses that while she did practice, she no longer does because she took it too far and there were consequences. The professor says he's learned a lot about magic in his travels, and there are other ways for her to practice her art. Bonnie is understandably intrigued. I see some fans have a problem with this, since Bonnie watched Grams suffer spiritual torment, just a few weeks prior, but since in the very episode, Bonnie confessed to trying (and failing) to do a nature spell, I have no trouble buying it.
Damon's dancing with, kissing and feeding off of a young woman, while Elena is doing the same with a young man...oh no wait, her prey is female, too. Maybe there's no kissing, but there's dancing and feeding. Interesting. Sheesh, Elena, wipe your mouth on your arm, or your victim's shirt, or something. Once Elena and Damon have fed, they find each other and dance. Any episode that features Damon dancing can't be all bad, but why does he look like he's on heroin? Maybe he fed off of some other poor girl who's been roofied. Anyhow, when Elena spots Bonnie glaring at her from across the room, she (sadly) comes to her senses and rushes outside.
Red Room of Pain. When Jeremy shows Klaus his tattoo sketch, Klaus throttles the boy. He's seen the tattoo in the flesh and knows there's more to it. Jeremy insists that's all of it, then remembers that Connor says the tattoo spreads each time he kills a vampire. Klaus summons a hybrid Nate and tells him to get a girl to see Jeremy home. Meanwhile, Nate should keep Connor alive at all costs. Alone, Connor struggles against his bonds. He seems to loosen something or other, but Nate returns and decides to tighten things up. When he gets too close, Connor bites Nate's ear. Nate recoils in pain. Connor spits out the hybrids earring. Is it still an earring when it's one of those bar thingies? I don't know what to call it. My piercing knowledge is limited because I hit my gross out threshold right around those spacer things. This is a little bar or rod that pierces Nate's cartilage, but why am I even talking about this? Nate whacks Connor, tells him he's lucky he can't kill him and then storms out. Connor spits out the ear jewelry. I gag. Commercial.
Frat House. Exterior. Bonnie follows Elena outside. Elena finally starts wiping off her mouth, but she's still got blood dripping down her neck. She wonders why she's acting like this. BECAUSE YOU'RE A VAMPIRE, ELENA. Bonnie blames Damon. Elena cries that she should be with Stefan and going through all of "this" with Stefan, so I can't decide if it's enjoying her meal that bothers her, of if it's the fact that she's so enjoying her lover's brother. Damon overhears the whole scene, gets his feelings hurt. Bonnie gives him hell for letting Elena get out of control. Damon says, "She wasn't out of control. She was having fun." Bonnie: "This isn't fun. She was acting like a different person." Damon: "She is a different person. She's a vampire. We're a predatory species. We enjoy the hunt, the feed, and the kill. When the guilt gets too bad, we switch off our humanity and we revel in it." Bonnie: "Is that what you want -- for her to be like you?" Damon: "She already is like me. And you know what makes me able to drink my fill and leave someone breathing, and not rip their head off, like my brother? It's that I can revel in it." He gives his best Evil Pixie Monster eye gymnastics, then adds, "I can make it fun." He marches past the girls, and leaves Elena with a single, perfect tear rolling down her still somewhat messy face.
Mossy Manse. Rebekah arrives and apologizes to Stefan. She is sorry she stormed off, but she cannot deal with Klaus. Back in the day, she too wanted a cure and was willing to leave her family behind for it. Rebekah asks him if he'd take the cure if given the chance or if he just wants it for Elena. Stefan confesses that while part of him wishes he could spend an eternity with Elena, he knows that eventually she'll kill. The pain and guilt will make her shut off her love and compassion. Arrrrrgh. That last use of compassion just killed my will to continue.
Rebekah envies the fact that Stefan would do anything to save Elena. She envies the love the two have for each other. She admits she believed Xander loved her, and says they'd talked about marriage and even picked out a church. She knows Stefan wants her help, but she won't do anything that will help Klaus. Stefan presses his case and all of Rebekah's buttons when he says, "I never did answer your question. If it meant I got to be with her, have children, grow old with her -- if it meant that we'd die together, be buried together... then yes, I'd take the cure."
Eyes full of tears, Rebekah admits that even though Xander betrayed her, she buried him at the church where they were to be married. "What kind of hopeless fool does that?" As soon as the words escape her lips, she realizes she's been played. Stefan wanted to know Xander's final resting place because she buried him with his cure map-key/sword. Klaus appears from the shadows, dagger and White Oak ash in hand. Rebekah gets in a final dig at Klaus about never being able to love, then he daggers her. Stefan, the Judas, hangs his head. Klaus orders him to tell no one of the cure. Just stash Becky's body somewhere it won't be found, compel Jeremy to forget all he's learned, and keep his yapper shut. The hybrids will babysit Connor while Klaus flies off to Italy to fetch the sword.
Sidebar. You know, Stefan deserves a darned good staking from Rebekah. I understand him getting the information about the cure. I don't understand him not even trying to talk Klaus out of daggering Rebekah. Heck, even if he started to try, then realized Rebekah might jeopardize their quest for the cure, and changed his mind, I'd be okay with him here. I guess none of Elena's compassion has rubbed off on him. And what's with Klaus looking all shocked and pained when he daggers Rebekah? All this guy does is dagger his siblings. I'm having a hard time swallowing his remorse, and am having an even harder time enjoying it.
Arriving at their special spot on the Gilbert Gables porch, Elena apologizes to Damon. Things got heated at the party. I'll say. Anyhow, she shouldn't have let that happen. Blah blee bloo. Deep down, she believes he's right about what a vampire should be. She hates that feeling. She doesn't want to be... Damon finishes for her: "You don't want to be like me." Stefan, bless him, breaks up the awkward moment. He claims he just had a few things to discuss with Jeremy. I hope that, instead of compelling Jeremy, he is enlisting him as an ally because secretly teaming up with Klaus seems like the stupidest idea ever, and Stefan of all people should know this. He lies that he didn't learn anything new about the hunter. Damon declares the day a bust and goes home.
Alone with Elena, Stefan asks her what happened. She says she learned how to feed without hurting someone, but it was awful. He was right. She got caught up in it. She doesn't care if it will get easier. She doesn't want to feel these feelings. She's becoming someone she doesn't want to be, and doesn't think she can survive this. Stefan keeps Klaus's secret, even as he takes Elena in his arms and tells her to hold on.
Red Room of Pain. Nate's on the phone, asking for two or three more hybrids to back him up. After he ends the call, he starts getting Connor a snack. Connor has gotten himself free, though. He comes up behind Nate, and using the chains that once held him, he decapitates Nate. I guess that kills hybrids as well as ripping out their hearts. He holds out Nate's head to get a good long look and to give us the opportunity to watch his tattoo spread. It passes his bulging bicep and leaves a five-pointed star on his significant shoulder. We cut to...
Professor Shane's office. On the wall hangs a framed etching of the star section of Connor's tattoo, and some writing or symbols. Shane is reading when Connor enters. Shane: "Shouldn't you be in Mystic Falls?" Connor: "Why the hell did you send me there?" Shane's smile is inscrutable. We fade to black.
I should probably have more to say about this episode because it does contain a good bit of mythology, but I'm so tired of the exposition, I can't make myself do it. There's more commentary (including my disappointment in Elena's journey, thus far) in the recaplet, which is linked at the top of page one. I'll be back Friday morning, with coverage of "The Killer." In the meantime, please grade the episode at the top of the page and then come on over to the forum, where we've trussed up the Exposition Fairy in an Inquisition Error device.