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I'm still watching that scene, over and over. You know the one. Technically, since it's split by a commercial break, I guess it's two scenes. I think I can stop watching -- long enough to write a recaplet, if you can stop, long enough to read one. Deal?
Since Klaus and Kol know Jeremy is in Colorado, someone has to bring him home. Stefan decides Elena and Damon should. He wants Elena to figure out her feelings for Damon. Meanwhile, Stefan will babysit Alaric and try to get his inner psycho killer to come out and play. They need to find where Evilaric stashed the last Son of White Oak stake before Klaus starts a bloody war.
This week's Event O' the Week is preparation for week's Event O' the Week -- the annual decade dance. Caroline shows up in the MFHS gym, only to find Rebekah has usurped her, to the point of changing the theme decade from the 1970s to the 1920s. When Matt sides with Rebekah over her decade choice (admittedly, so do I), Caroline swans off, but it's all a ruse she worked out with Matty beforehand.
Tyler is back in town, and Caroline wants the day off from preparation so she can see him again. And see him she does. They quickly get nekkid in the old Lockwood dungeon, which would not be my first, second or tenth choice, no matter how much I missed my sweetie. Care Bear informs Tyler that when an Original dies, his whole vampyric bloodline dies, and that Damon so doesn't care about Tyler as long as the Fellowship of the Falls can off Klaus without offing the Salvatore/Forbes line. For a moment I wonder if Caroline stole the Son of White Oak stake, but nope.
The Caroline/Tyler plot ends with an off-screen Sheriff Liz inviting Tyler to crash at Fortress Forbes, provided he sleep on the couch. Tyler is disappointed but fine with that condition. What he's not fine with is realizing that Klaus has been drawing OMG CAROLINE + PONIES pictures. It feels a little contrived that just seeing one of Klaus's etchings would send Tyler off in a snit, but maybe it's a lupine pack hierarchy thing.
Since Tyler is only kinda pretty sure he's broken the sire bond, I'm just as glad he'll be out of Caroline's orbit. Seriously, while I wasn't (too) concerned about her getting snake and spider bites down in the Lockwood dungeon, I was deeply worried about her getting a hybrid love bite of death, because been there, done that, got the healing Original birthday blood with bonus grown up bracelet from Klaus.
Speaking of the Event O' the Week, after preparing for the dance, my Pudding Pop Matt drives Miss Rebekah back to Klaus Haus. Before she hops out of his truck, she questions his motives for being so nice to her. Pudding Pop plays it cool, and points out that she's a little too worked up over a ride home from school. When Rebekah gets home, she finds Esther, who claims to be dying. Rebekah is still bitter that mommy tried to kill her, like you are. Esther spouts some spiel about watching Rebekah for a thousand years through the good times and bad. She grabs hold of her daughter's hands, trembles and collapses to the floor. Seconds later, Klaus enters. Klaus believes Esther is dead, because he never watched Lost, and doesn't understand about Eloise Hawking like we do.
Klaus decides Stefan is taking too long getting Ric to unleash his inner psycho killer, so he arrives at Mossy Manse and breaks the ring-wearing Ric's neck just to speed things up a bit. So efficient, these Originals. Hours later, Alaric revives. He and Stefan have a heart to heart about their respective beasts within. The parallel is unforced and really quite lovely. It takes Stefan tapping into his own darkest place to awaken Evilaric. Once Evilaric is convinced Stefan is capable of killing him, he admits he hid the stake where no vampire can get it -- in that charmed cave chamber. Klaus and Rebekah arrive at Mossy Manse just in time to learn this. Really Salvatores, you've got to deed the house to another human, because this is just ridiculous. Rebekah grabs Evilaric and says she'll take him to the cave and force him to get the stake. Once Stefan is alone with Klaus, Klaus admits he hasn't yet killed Stefan because he still holds out hope that his old friend will emerge. Stefan's all, "Yeah, whatever. Stake me."
Out in Colorado, Damon and Elena find Jeremy at the batting cages. Damon cracks that time he compels the Germ, he's going to have to throw in a little baseball mojo as gift with purchase. When Jeremy's new "friend" shows up, he turns out to be Kol. Kol takes a wooden baseball bat to Damon. It breaks, so he then grabs an aluminum bat. Damon grabs the broken wooden bat and stakes Kol. Yes, it's broad daylight, yet no one is around to notice this assault and (what would look to a mundane human like a) murder. I pray that the bat will turn out to be made of yet another Son of White Oak. That would be cool. The whole Fellowship of the Falls could sit around whittling down Louisville Sluggers, but no. Kol doesn't burst into flames and die. He does remain incapacitated long enough for Damon, Elena and Jeremy to hide out at a motel.
Damon and Elena want Jeremy to use his superpower to contact Rose and find out who turned her and is the originating Original of Salvatore/Forbes bloodline. There's some fun, light flirting attempts between both Damon and Ghost of Rose, which makes Jeremy uncomfortable, although not nearly as uncomfortable as Rose's admission that she's rooting for Damon and Elena. Suffice it to say, Germ glosses over some of what Ghost Rose says and sticks to the basics. Rose wasn't turned by an Original, but by one Mary Porter. Rose, who likes being dead, says she'll do some recon and report back.
After Jeremy is asleep, Elena is lying in bed half-awake when Damon comes back in the room. He's shirtless at first, but throws on a shirt and pours himself a drink. Elena watches him, and um... the way she watches him makes it quite plain she has plenty of feelings. I won't speculate as to where she's feeling those feelings, at least not in this recaplet. Damon realizes Elena is eying him, and lies down on top of her bed. During the confab with Rose, she learned about how Damon eased Rose's dying with his day-in-Paradise dreamscape. Elena wonders why he doesn't show his good side more often. Damon admits it's because if people (Elena) know he can be good, they (Elena) will expect him to be good. He then practically breaks into a rousing version of "I've Gotta Be Me." When he takes Elena's hand, it's all too much for our girl, who was already nearly hyperventilating. She hops out of bed and leaves the room. Damon finds her outside and tries to talk to her. Elena's not too forthcoming with words. What she is very forthcoming with are smoochies! Germ is visibly disturbed, when catches the two making out up against a wall, but manages to tell them that Rose has located Mary Porter in Kansas. Rose, for a Damon/Elena 'shipper -- your timing sucks.
When the trio gets to Kansas, they find Kol has already beaten them there, and has staked Scary Mary. He claims she was an Original groupie and says any of them could have turned her, but they'll never know which one. He then finishes his payback beat down of Damon (and throws Elena across the room, for good measure).
Once they're alone and Damon has hit the auto-reset button on his broken bones, he asks Elena what is up with the kissing and then the shying away, and well this trip and everything. Elena confesses that the trip was Stefan's idea -- to give Elena a chance to discover if she has feelings for Damon. Damon asks if she does. Elena stammers that she doesn't know. (Liar.) Every time they hit a bump, he lashes out and she can't take that. I have to watch again to be sure, but I think Damon's response means he's not going to lash out this time and make it easy for her. She's going to have to put on her big girl knickers and make the choice for herself. Fair enough.
On their ride home, Ghost of Rose pops into the backseat. She tells Germ not to tell the tense and silent Damon and Elena she's there. She then explains that while Stefan's love is pure and he will always be good for Elena, Damon can be good for Elena, too. There's more, but her point is that Damon is either going to turn out to be the best thing in the world for Elena, or the worst.
Meanwhile, back in the Falls, Rebekah and Evilaric arrive at the cave. She waits at the entrance to the No Vamps Allowed chamber until Evilaric retrieves the last Son of White Oak stake. Then she enters the chamber! Evilaric is so confused. I guess he never watched Lost, either. Just as Klaus possessed Alaric's body, Esther is possessing Rebekah's body. She introduces herself and points out that they have an awful lot in common. Dun dun dun.
I'll be back with the full weecap, ASAP. In the meantime, please grade the episode up top and join us in the forum, where we're pretty sure we've identified at least one of Elena's feelings for Damon.
Want more? The full recap starts right below!Previously on The Vampire Diaries, the Originals so overwhelm the show, that even though I'd watch them in their own series, I decide I am more than ready for them to be Son-of-White-Oak staked, daggered, magicked into a tomb or ridden out of Mystic Falls on the proverbial-yet-literal rail. Whatever. I am not fussy. Also, Ric is a psycho killer. When an Original dies, every vampire in his bloodline follows suit. Evilaric hides the last known Son of White Oak stake. Stefan loves Elena. Damon loves Elena. Elena loves Stefan. Elena loves Damon too, but refuses to admit it. Stefan loves Damon. Damon loves Stefan. Stefan hates Stefan. Damon loves Damon. Rebekah loves Rebekah and hates everyone who doesn't immediately love Rebekah. Klaus loves Caroline. Caroline loves Tyler. Tyler loves Caroline. Tyler loves Klaus. Nobody loves Matt. Bonnie's story plays so far on the sidelines that she might as well be benched.
Currently on The Vampire Diaries: Alaric is locked in the dungeon at Mossy Manse. Elena visits. She brings him some toiletries, as well as some boring reading material to help him sleep. Alaric looks at one of the books. "Dr. Jekyll and Mr. Hyde?" Elena's all, "What? No... no... Damon! He thinks he's hilarious." Only 'cause he is, E. Only 'cause he is. Our Lady of Compassionate Yet Questionable Judgment suggests that Alaric doesn't have to be locked up in the dungeon, but Alaric knows better. He needs to hang there until his psycho killer alter-ego coughs up the last Son of White Oak stake. He wonders what Klaus will do if they can't find it. Elena says, "Well, it's the only thing that can kill him, so... wage war, murder people -- you know, Klaus stuff."
Elena changes the subject. Stefan is going to watch over Ric for a while. Now that Kol and Klaus know Jeremy is in Denver, he is no longer safe, so she and Damon are headed out to bring him home. Alaric knows Elena is waiting for him to disapprove of her choice in traveling companions. Elena figures he must have something to say about her traveling cross country together with Damon. Alaric says he's more curious about what Stefan thinks. Elena admits it was Stefan's idea. "He thinks that I have some unresolved feelings for Damon." Ric asks if she does. Elena starts to shake her head, then almost nods instead. Once she stops bobbling, she says, "I guess that's why I'm going on this trip -- so I can figure it out." Time for a sidebar.
Sheesh Sidebar: Elena, look, I know you're young, confused and haven't stopped loving Stefan, but CLEARLY you have feelings for Damon. The real issue is that you don't know what you should do about those feelings. That is all right. You don't trust that Damon will remain stable and with good reason. You don't want to hurt Stefan (and probably don't or at least shouldn't trust that he can remain stable, either). Maybe you, like some people on our boards, are a little grossed out by the idea moving from one brother to another. I get that. Well, I would get it if this wasn't a show about blood sucking fiends. The morals on this show are so paper-thin, that in my opinion, any supposed Bro Code drowned the first time the Brothers Salvatore laid eyes on you (much as it did when they laid eyes on Katherine). Stefan won't tell you this, and Damon won't tell you this, but I'm a little disappointed Alaric hasn't told you this. Even if you do "have feelings" for Damon, you don't have to act on them. That's an okay choice to make. And it's okay to tell both Stefan and Damon that, so they'll get out of your grill. Speaking as a fan, I admit to 'shipping any two characters on this show that share a scene, and I do sort of feel like it's time for you and Damon to give it a go. But? Speaking as a woman and a mother, I have to say it's okay to admit you have the hots for a guy, but just don't think a relationship with him would be the best idea right now. Seriously honey, you should tell both brothers to suck eggs, and then go mini-golfing with your girls and Matt.
Anyhow, Stefan is in the parlor waiting by the fire, when Damon comes in and asks if he's heard from Klaus. Stef says he hasn't yet, but since Klaus wants the stakes, he figures it will only be a matter of time. He's prepared to do what it takes to get the information out of Alaric. Yikes! Damon wonders if he's up to the task. "You're good Stefan, again. You're in control. Sorry. You might get the girl, but you lose the edge."
When Elena joins the brothers, Damon asks her if she's ever flown first class. She wonders who he compelled for that. Damon's all, "Please. I used miles." I'm just glad to hear they're not driving the 1600 or so miles to Denver, because that's too long to be trapped in a confined space with Damon. I mean, I love him, but he's a hyper little bugger. I'm sure I'd stake him somewhere along the way just for annoying the heck out of me, and I don't think Elena is any different in that regard. Damon walks out first. Elena stops and tries to talk to Stefan, but all he says is, "Be safe." Title Card.
I went overboard with the recaplet, so I'm going to plagiarize myself here and there, in an attempt to keep this weecap wee (or at least quicker for me). This week's Event O' the Week is preparation for week's Event O' the Week -- the annual decade dance. Caroline shows up in the MFHS gym, only to find Rebekah has usurped her, to the point of changing the theme decade from the 1970s to the 1920s. When Matt sides with Rebekah over her decade choice (admittedly, so do I), Caroline swans off, but when Matt chases her out to the parking lot, they reveal it's all a ruse they worked out beforehand. Tyler is back in town, and Caroline wants the day off from preparation so she can see him again. She asks Matt to keep Rebekah busy and keep himself safe. Matt struggles to find the right words as he asks Caroline to tell Tyler he says, "Hi." All I want to say is that if Matt has to wear a shirt, he should always wear the blue one he has on right now. Well, right now, he has a jacket on over it, which kind of ruins the effect, but back inside the gym? Hello, Pudding Pop pecs!
Mossy Manse. Stefan brings a bottle of something to Alaric. They figure getting him soused will speed up the process of him passing out, which may allow Evilaric to come to the fore. I have to ask, why hasn't anyone tried compulsion? Okay, clearly that's because it's not in the script, but since the writers want Evilaric, and they want to give us some parallels between Stefan and Alaric, there should be a throwaway line in here about how they tried compelling Evilaric to come out, and it didn't work, or that they don't have time to allow the vervain to leave his system, or something. Without it, this whole plot just makes Stefan, Damon and Alaric (and soon, Klaus) look even dumber than usual. I'd include Elena in there, but I'm quite sure no one told Our Lady of Compassionate Yet Questionable Judgment that Plan B involves torture.
Anyhow, Alaric wonders why Stefan's the one staying behind to babysit him, while Damon takes a trip with Elena. Aw, is Ric is getting bromantic for Damon, again? Stefan implies that if getting Ric to pass out doesn't summon Evilaric, he's going to have to get rough with his willing prisoner. Alaric says, "So you're worried you're going to have to torture it out of me. And you don't think Damon could have done that?" Actually, Ric, I don't. Damon could (has, and may yet again) kill you, but I don't think he could torture you. He wuvs you beary much.
Stefan doesn't directly answer Ric's question. Instead he says that Elena needs to go on this trip with Damon. "No matter what I go through to get her back -- fighting my bloodlust, trying to get in control of my life again? None of that matters if she has feelings for somebody else." Um, on behalf of all the humans you've ripped apart and pieced back together, Stef, I'd like to think that you're basing your recovery on something a little more solid than the affections and attractions of an 18-year-old girl, no matter how nice she is. And no, I don't want to hear that I should be calling Elena a woman, when I talk to you Stef, because you're nearly 3/4ths of the way to your bicentennial. She's still in high school. I have a son who's only two years younger. He's a boy. Elena's a girl. I am old. You, handsome, are ancient. The end.
Denver. Elena and Damon find Jeremy at the batting cages. They must have installed some GPS app on his phone. Jeremy swings and misses. Damon: "time we compel him, remind me to make him better at baseball." Elena calls to Jeremy. He's happy to see his sister for a second, 'til he takes note of her traveling companion. "What's wrong?" Heh. There's a quick cut and Jeremy's now outside the cages. Damon says, "Katherine sired us. Rose sired Katherine. All we need to do is find out who sired Rose." And? Time for another sidebar.
Siring Sidebar: Okay, all fricking season long, the show has used their own stupid, bad, dumb meaning of sired to describe the magical loyalty Tyler and other hybrids feel toward Klaus. I've mostly referred to that as the "sire bond" and sometimes the show has too, but at first it was all, "He's sired to Klaus, blah blee bloo." So I wouldn't further confuse things, when talking about a vampire turning a human victim into a vampire, I've stuck to using turn and turning, even though this isn't my first vampire show, and sire and siring come much more naturally. Now that the show is back to the genre's typical, sensible use of sire, I'm almost more annoyed than when it made up its stupid meaning of sire. There. I feel better now.
Jeremy doesn't think he can contact Rose. He's never even met her. There's no connection between them. Damon's all, "What good is you dying and coming back to life if you can't talk to a ghost when I need you to?" Charmer. Elena explains that Damon and Rose were close, so perhaps they can use him as a connection. Jeremy agrees, but asks if they can do it later, because his friend has just arrived. "And yes, Damon, I actually have some. I'll call you when I'm done." Poor Germ doesn't actually have this friend, because this friend is none other than Original stalker, Kol. Elena spots him first and warns Jeremy and Damon, but before our Evil Pixie Monster can react, Kol takes a baseball bat to him -- so hard that he breaks the bat. Jeremy yells, "What the hell are you doing?" Kol drops the broken bat near where Damon lies, and then turns to the Germ. "No hard feelings, mate, but we're not buds." He takes an aluminum bat out of a stand and notes he'll never get used to this newfangled kind, but at least it won't break. Damon, still trying to get off the ground, grabs the broken bat and stakes Kol in the chest. Jeremy: "Did you kill him?" Damon: "No, but at least it will give us a head start." Commercial.
Damon, Elena and Jeremy arrive at a motel. Damon needlessly says, "For the record, she's the one who wanted to stop at a motel, not me." Elena gives him A Look. Germ asks where they are. Damon says, "Corner of somewhere and nowhere, where Kol can't find us." When Germ says he can't believe Kol's a vampire, Damon replies, "Well, didn't you think it was weird you made a friend so fast. Have you met you?" Elena turns to him. "Not helping!" Heh. Time for yet another sidebar.
Seriously, Show? Sidebar: Um, has anyone uncompelled Jeremy? Does anyone plan to? Have you told him about how the protect-o ring tends to give its wearer an evil alter-ego? Show, this is where your fast pace hurts the story. The first season or two, one of the things I most loved about you is that characters had the sort of conversations real people would, during which they revealed the things going on in their lives. You avoided stilted TV conversations where people forget or otherwise fail to mention the big stuff. And I know you're probably avoiding these natural in-character revelations so there can be CONSEQUENCES later, but you used to be able to give me the crazy roller coaster ride in a much more organic way. Please get back to that in Season 4, okay? Elena and Damon failing to tell Jeremy what could happen to him because of that damned ring, and Damon failing to de-compel Jeremy -- that kind of crap makes your characters less likable and less sympathetic. And? It frustrates the heck out of this recapper. The end.
In motel room 236, it doesn't take long for Damon and Jeremy to summon Rose. She appears right after Damon tells Jeremy about how he gave Rose a day in Paradise dreamscape, to ease her dying. Rose smiles. We cut to...
Mystic Falls, Woods. Caroline's walking alone, looking for Tyler. He appears and tells her he's missed her so. They kiss and we cut to the dungeon beneath the Lockwood ruins. They're still making out. Soon the clothes start coming off. Young love. Young lust. I do not care. Do they not see those spider webs? Shudder.
Klaus Haus, Exterior. Time for some partial self-plagiarism. Matt drives Rebekah home. Before she hops out of his truck, she questions his motives for being so nice to her. Pudding Pop plays it cool, and points out it is sad that she can't get a ride home from school without thinking there's an ulterior motive (even though there is one -- well done, Pudding Pop). Rebekah drops hints about the dance. Matt deftly deflects them and flashes her a brilliant smile. She returns a soft, shy smile as she bids him goodbye and thanks him for the ride. Rebekah watches as Matt drives off. Her smile grows.
Inside, Rebekah finds Esther waiting for her. Rebekah Stealth Salvatores up to mumsy, pushes her against the wall, and gives her the trademark Vampire Diaries throttle. "Give me one good reason why I shouldn't kill you right now." Esther answers, "Because I'm dying." Hey, why not speed up the process?
No Tell Motel. Rose says she enjoys life on the other side. Being a teenaged boy, Germ gives Elena and Damon the CliffsNotes version of most of her answers. Damon asks if Rose is still hot. Rose says, "Tell him he's still dripping with sex, too." Jeremy gives her an Ain't Gonna Happen look, so Rose relents. "Fine, tell him I miss him [...] and tell him I'm rooting for him and Elena." Jeremy says, "She... misses both of you." Hee! Rose says she was sired by a Mary Porter. Damon says, "Ah, Scary Mary." Rose doesn't know where Mary is, but she'll try to find out.
Mossy Manse, Dungeon. Alaric and Stefan wonder if Damon and Elena have gotten to Jeremy yet. Stefan mentions that Elena's worried about her little bro. "Now that she can't count on his ring anymore." And see my earlier sidebar about this, because I really enjoyed this episode, and don't want to revisit a rant I just ranted. BUT YOU KNOW, SHOW, IF YOU WERE PRESSED FOR TIME, SHE COULD HAVE HANDED HIM A BOTTLE OF BONNIE'S SPECIAL HERBS AND GERM COULD HAVE HAD A ONE-OFF LINE ABOUT THE RING. JUST SAYIN'...
Starting again. Ahem. Alaric jokes that maybe Jeremy's alter-ego is a pot-smoking hippie pacifist. Isn't that just his regular ego, or possibly even id? I've got to stop thinking about Germ and the ring. Change the subject, fellas. Alaric obliges and mentions he can't believe his own alter-ego is hostile and militant. Stef points out that since Isobel left Ric to become a vampire and Jenna was killed by one, his alter-ego makes sense. Ric says, "He must really hate me. Here I am, the failed-hunter-slash-drinking-buddy of vampires." What bothers Ric the most is that his alter-ego is him. He's not compelled or possessed. There's no "humanity switch." Stefan argues that the alter-ego isn't the sum of Alaric. He's the darkest part of him, and we all have those darkest parts.
And you know how I said I'm sick of the Originals? Well scratch that, because just now, Klaus pops in and mocks these mopey-moos, saving me the trouble. "Well, this is depressing, isn't it?" Goodness, yes. Klaus found one Son of White Oak stake upstairs. He'd like the other and isn't in the mood to wait for Alaric to pass out. He'll just kill Ric instead. Stefan says, "Well then you won't know the location of the other stake." Klaus says he can live with that. Stefan explains the whole deal about how killing an Original kills an entire bloodline. Klaus is all, "So the fate of the entire vampire race depends on you finding a stake, and to get it, we need [Alaric] to pass out, which means I feel totally justified in doing this." He Stealth Salvatores past Stefan and breaks Alaric's neck. Yes, another sidebar.
Something Sidebar: Okay, so Klaus doesn't care about the last stake when he thinks it can kill him or one of his siblings, but he does care when he thinks it could wipe out all vampires from one line. Why? What's the difference from Klaus's perspective, here? If he was worried about himself, or his hybrids, I could buy that. But he's suddenly concerned about the "whole vampire race" -- really? And by the way, his listening and memory skills suck, because one stake cannot kill the whole race, since it burns up while killing an Original. At most, one stake can kill one bloodline. Dear heaven, I can't wait 'til the end of this season.
No Tell Motel, Exterior. Damon's returning from the ice machine when Stefan calls and informs him that Klaus got impatient and snapped ring-wearing Ric's neck. Damon figures Kol reported back to Klaus that Elena and Damon are in Denver. Stefan says that when Alaric wakes up, if he isn't Evilaric, he'll do whatever it takes to make him Evilaric. He then asks Damon if they've had any luck with Rose. Damon says they're stuck in "this motel" until Rose gets back to them. Stefan's all, "A...motel." Damon says they had to get away from Kol. He'll call Stefan when he knows more.
Inside the motel room, Jeremy asks Elena what's up with her and Damon. Elena tries to pretend that there's nothing, but Jeremy tells her Rose said something. Damon enters the room before Jeremy can offer specifics, and asks the Gilberts if everything is okay in there. Elena lies that it's fine. Damon says he's going to freshen up and suggests the siblings get some sleep until Rose returns.
Klaus Haus. Rebekah doesn't understand how Esther could be dying, since the witch Ayana preserved her body with a spell. Esther answers that when Abby died, her connection to the Bennet line was severed, so now she's weakening. Rebekah's not interested in keeping her murderous mummy company during her last hours. Esther argues that she's spent a thousand years watching over Rebekah through good times and bad. Not a day has gone by that she wasn't right there with her daughter. Rebekah says, "And yet you still tried to kill me?" Esther: "Because it shouldn't have been a thousand years, Rebekah. No one should live that long." Rebekah says she hasn't lived at all. Okay, I know I'm supposed to be touched, but if Rebekah hasn't managed to make hay while the sun shone for however many of the thousand years she's been around, that's her own damned fault. Elijah's lived. Klaus has lived. Klaus kept Rebekah with him and daggered her here and there, but please get off the pity pot, Becky. I am so sick of your whining. Esther tells Rebekah she's "so so sorry" and takes her daughter's hands. Esther starts to tremble and falls to the floor. Rebekah looks down at her. Klaus enters and asks what's going on. Rebekah says, "She's dead."
Lockwood Dungeon. After the loving, Tyler and Caroline share some spider-crawling pillow talk. He needs to prove his sire-bond to Klaus has been broken by testing it. He feels different and freer -- way more himself. And it seems he achieved that feeling by turning about 100 times while he was off in the Appalachian Mountains. Caroline tells Tyler they've got another problem. She explains about how Matt killed Finn, and they then learned when an Original dies, his whole vampyric bloodline dies. Damon so doesn't care about Tyler as long as the Fellowship of the Falls can off Klaus without offing the Salvatore/Forbes/Bennett line. Like everyone else, Tyler assumes if Klaus dies, he'll die too. I say we don't know that, since Tyler was a werewolf before he was a vampire.
No Tell Motel. Damon comes out of the bathroom wearing only his pants. Somerhalder is frakking cut. I wonder how much working out it takes to get abs like that? Not that I'm ever going to try. It's just idle curiosity. He puts on a shirt, but leaves it open, bless his heart, and pours himself a drink. At first, he doesn't realize that Elena, who is lying in bed, is just staring at him. After he's sitting for a while, their eyes finally meet. Elena closes hers and feigns sleep. Damon almost smiles, but not quite. Elena opens her eyes again and stares at him. Damon rises. He walks to her bed, lies on top of the covers and returns Elena's stare. Finally, she says, "You never told me about that -- what you did for Rose." Damon says, "It wasn't about you." The Elena Haters cheer.
Elena smiles and asks Damon why he doesn't let people see the good in him. He admits it's because if people (Elena) know he can be good, they (Elena) will expect him to be good. He doesn't want to live up to anyone's (her) expectations. Elena heaves a sigh and turns away so that she's lying flat on her back. When Damon takes Elena's hand, it's all too much for our girl, who was already nearly hyperventilating. She hops out of bed and leaves the room. Damon finds her outside. Without even turning toward him, Elena says, "Don't." Damon: "Why not?" A beat. "Elena?" She shakes her head then turns at runs at him. Her kiss catches him by surprise, but those super vampire reflexes allow him to get right into it. After a few moments, he moves them so that Elena is leaning against a wall. His head travels from her mouth to her neck to her décolletage. With her hands, Elena leads his face back up north to hers. They part lips and look at each other and... COMMERCIAL darn it.
When we return from break, the couple is still kissing when Jeremy walks outside. He looks around for some brain bleach, but can't find any, so he says, "Elena?!" She pulls back from Damon. "Oh, my God. Jeremy. Hi." Jeremy looks for the brain bleach again, then says, "Rose found Mary. She lives in Kansas. Damon looks more than a little annoyed, but says, "Okay, then. Let's go." He walks back to the room, leaving Jeremy staring at his sister. He sighs, shakes his head and follows Damon. Once he's gone, Elena's sheepish face breaks into smile that it takes her a second to cover.
Mossy Manse, Dungeon. Stefan has read through nearly all of Moby Dick. I wonder if the anvil fairy has hit him over the head, yet. Alaric revives. He's still not Evilaric, so he takes off his protect-o ring and tells Stefan he hopes his dark side has a sense of self-preservation. Stefan scoffs at the idea of killing Alaric, but Ric says if they're going to have any chance at this, Stefan will have to try. Let the beatings begin.
Kansas. Yes, Damon, Elena and Jeremy drive some 200 to 400 miles (or more) east and yet it's still dark when they reach Mary Porter's house. Elena tells Jeremy to wait outside. Jeremy: "Why, so you two can make out some more?" Damon: "Don't be a dick. Listen to your sister." When Germ turns back toward the car, Damon calls out a patronizing little, "Thank you." Fans have pointed out that it's stupid that Elena goes in, since Mary is another old vampire and therefore more powerful than Damon. They're not wrong but I'm not holding this contrivance against the episode. It's worth the pay-off we soon get.
Mary's house is dark and full of junk. Damon cracks something about "vampire hoarders" and tells Elena that "Scary Mary" is "very old and super creepy." And apparently he slept with her, once upon a time. After Elena finishes rolling her eyes at him, they hear a noise coming from another room. Opening the door, they find Mary quite dead -- staked to her own crumbling wall -- with a broken baseball bat. Damon says, "Mary." From behind them, Kol's voice finishes: "Quite contrary." He flips on the light to reveal he's got his aluminum baseball bat with him.
Mossy Manse Dungeon. Stefan's beating up Alaric, but it's not working. When Stef realizes he's drawn blood, he starts to vamp out, and says he has to stop. He can't resist the blood. Alaric pretty much tells him to sack up. If he wants the answers from Alaric's darkest side, he's going to have to tap into his own. Alaric tells Stefan to try and kill him, because that's the only way Evilaric will come out. I am not your action recapper. Suffice it to say, eventually Stefan vamps out and throws Ric against the wall. Evilaric comes out and taunts Stefan for being so weak. "Look at you. One of nature's most hideous creatures, and you can't even get that right." Stefan looks at him. "You." Evilaric answers back: "Me." Commercial break: "Us!"
Kansas. Kol claims Mary Porter was an Original groupie and says any of them could have turned her, but they'll never know which one. He spoke to Klaus and knows they're trying to find out which Original sired the Salvatore line. He says now they never will. Kol then begins his payback beat down of Damon. Damon orders Elena to get out. She runs but Kol blocks her exit. He tells her Klaus has said she's off limits but she'd better not test him, and then throws Elena across the room. That's enough to get Damon back up on his feet. He growls at Kol not to touch Elena. Kol bats Damon across the room and crows that he just wants them to be even. "You snapped my neck. You killed my brother, and then you humiliated me." He hits Damon three times on his back. You can hear the bones crunch. Damon cries out in pain. Kol smiles. "Now we're even." And people 'ship this guy with Bonnie, huh? Wow.
Mossy Manse Dungeon. Stef asks Evilaric where the stake is. Evilaric tells him he's spineless, pathetic and that they're all going to burn. Stefan finally gets Evilaric in a headlock, I think because Alaric says, "Ashes to dust." At least I know that pissed me off. Look Ric, evil or not, you can say the whole thing: "Ashes to ashes; dust to dust." You can say: "Ashes to ashes." You can even just say, "Dust to dust." But your: "Ashes to dust," is just clunky. Anyhow, Stefan threatens to snap Evilaric's neck in three seconds and starts counting down. Finally, Evilaric hisses, "It's in the cave, where no vampire can get it. Heh heh heh." Of course it is. That's the first place they should have looked, and I'm ashamed I didn't think of it when we first learned Evilaric probably hid the stake. D'oh. Anyhow, Stefan throws Evilaric down and locks him in the dungeon. When he gets upstairs, Stefan finds Klaus and Rebekah waiting in the parlor. Klaus says, "That wasn't too hard, was it?" Rebekah smirks. I shout, "Get your hands on a de-invite spell, STEFAN! Call Bonnie. It's not like anyone THREW OUT YOUR CELL PHONE." *Crickets*
Kansas. Elena, who is bleeding from the head, rushes to Damon's side and ask if he's okay. He resets his broken bones, which helps some. When he notices Elena's wound and asks if she's okay, Elena gets visibly uncomfortable as he touches her. She turns away. Damon asks her, "What are you doing? [...] This trip and you kissing me? What the hell is this?" Elena says, "Stefan thinks I have feelings for you." Damon asks if she does. Elena stammers that she doesn't know. See my earlier rant on this subject. And? Apply it to Damon as well as to Elena. Clearly she has feelings for you, you big galoot. And clearly, she doesn't know what she wants to do about that. Now, I don't expect you to wait around for her, but she has a right not to act on those feelings. She has a right to test them out. You have a right to accept things her way or do them your own way. Ah, why do I bother?
Damon chews over Elena's non-answer then says, "I guess you thought this little trip could help you figure that out, didn't you? Or maybe you're hoping I'll screw it up, so I can just make the decision for you. Am I wrong? Am I wrong?" Elena tries to say various things in between, but Damon talks over her. Finally she gets out: "It's what you do, Damon. You sabotage things. You -- I mean think about it. Every time there's a bump in the road, you lash out." Damon asks, "What if I didn't? What if there was no bump?" When Elena just looks at him, he finally says, "I'm sorry, Elena. But this time I'm not going to make it so easy for you. This time, you'll have to figure it out for yourself." And with that, he walks out, leaving Elena shaking her head in disbelief. Please join me for another...
Sidebar: Never mind my earlier "why do I bother" because I love that scene. I love it more than the (admittedly hot) kissing scene. I don't blame Damon one bit, but I don't blame Elena one bit either. Damon is tired of waiting and hoping. Manning up like he just has, and telling Elena he's not going to sabotage things and make it easy for her is the perfect decision for someone in his shoes (provided he can stick to the decision not to sabotage things). Elena, while she doesn't admit her feelings, all but does admit them when she tells him he sabotages things. Every time there is a bump, he does lash out. That's basically her saying, "Yeah I do have feelings, but..." And? Her but is valid (and hey, take the but/butt pun, because I love that Nina Dobrev has some hips, so there you go). Thank you for some forward motion on this front, Show. I don't need these two to end up with a white picket fence, but without some development, after a while, "Will they or won't they," turns into "Who fricking cares?" That is all.
Mossy Manse, Parlor. As Stefan paces, Klaus pours himself a drink, and it's not even red. Rebekah drags a still bloody Evilaric up from the dungeon. Sheesh, would someone please wash his face? I know, hey, Stef, lick it clean. Anyhow, Klaus takes a gander at Alaric's booboos. "It's a little gratuitous. Don't you think, Stefan? I would have been more gentle." Hee. Look, I can love the Originals and still be tired of them infesting Mystic Falls. It's a thing, all right? (Dear Tubey, if they ever do get their own show, may I please cover it?) Rebekah announces she's going to take Evilaric to the cave. To Evilaric, she adds, "You're going to go inside and fetch me the stake. And if you think you can hide, you're wrong." I was going to say that it's pretty stupid that they don't just call up Matt, or whomever, and have him go in the cave, but then I remembered Rebekah dousing Elena and the cave with gasoline and throwing matches in, so I guess even if Evilaric won't bring the stake out, the Beckster can get rid of it.
Once Becky and Evilaric leave, Klaus says, "And then there was one." I don't know why he can't count to two, either, but he's still damned funny when he's not being a ginormous crybaby. Anyhow, Klaus tells Stefan he knows about Damon's mission to Denver and that he failed. "Not that that's news anymore." Stefan asks Klaus if he'll kill him now. When Klaus says he hasn't yet decided, Stef points out that he hasn't bothered to kill him yet, regardless of all the chances and excuses to do so. Klaus allows that he's still waiting for his old friend to come back. Oh, dear. I'm getting sick of him, again. How needy can you be after a thousand years? I'm like 25 times younger than this guy, had better parents and am not an unkillable, blood sucking fiend. I'm as needy as all get-out, until you put me to Klaus (and don't get me started on Rebekah). to him (them), I am a rock. I am an island. Anyhow, Klaus thinks Ripper is right beneath Stefan's surface. Stefan has a delightful air of hard-earned satisfaction as he says, "I've been fighting that part of myself, thinking that if I repress it, it will go away, but it won't. And now that I've accepted it, it can't control me and neither can you. So unless you're going to stake me, why don't you get the hell out of my house?" Stefan walks off, leaving Klaus to enjoy his drink (and a bit of crow, but not the Damon-pet kind) in front of the roaring fire. And can I just give props to Damon here, for persuading Stefan to accept the beast within? This is my (never wee, even when I try) weecap, so of course I can. Yo, Evil Pixie Monster? Props to you. Speaking of...
On the Road Again... Are Damon, Elena and the Germ going to drive the 1200 or whatever miles back to Mystic Falls? Really? Even though Elena and Damon flew to Denver, first class? Okay. Whatever, Show. It looks like they're going to drive in silence, too. All three occupants more or less stare straight ahead. Rose apparates in the back seat and asks, "Are we there, yet?" Jeremy turns toward her in surprise, but she asks him not to tell Damon and Elena she's there. She exposits that Damon and Elena had a fight. She knows Germ wants to stop any romance between Elena and Damon. "...Protect her from it, but you're young. You don't see what I see. It's not just that she makes him a better person -- and she does, but he changes her, too. Damon challenges her, surprises her. He makes her question her life -- beliefs. Stefan is different. His love is pure. He'll always be good for her. Damon is either the best thing for her, or the worst." Jeremy looks off for a second. When he turns back, Rose is gone. Up in the front seat, Damon looks at Elena, but she doesn't meet his eyes. One more sidebar, for old time's sake?
Sentimental Sidebar: Some fans hate Rose's mini-monologue. I've seen accusations that it's heavy-handed, ham-fisted and showing rather than telling. I don't care about the first two, as I think that's a matter of taste, and hell, I just covered a season of Ringer and want it to get renewed, so clearly, all my taste is in my mouth, and I'm fine with that. But, as to the point of this being telling not showing, I object. This is telling after showing. That is, The Vampire Diaries has been showing us, for at least a season, exactly what Rose just said. Damon is different. And speaking as a woman who was once a young woman, there are people who come along, usually when you're about Elena's age. Sometimes they turn out to be great for you because they're great for you. Other times, they turn out to be great for you because they are so fucking horrible for you. I'm sorry. I usually try not to swear too much in these things, but no other modifier would do there. I had a three year relationship with a Soul Sucking Demon (SSD) when I wasn't much older than Elena. And while when I look back and shudder over what I put up with and how much of myself I lost during those three years, I also thank God for the experience because it made me the woman I am today. It made me the woman who (usually) appreciates what a grand gift my husband, Scott, is in my life. While my great parents always made it crystal clear they loved me and wanted the best for me, there were other experiences in my youth that made me doubt I was lovable, so I took what SSD had to offer without realizing how much of it was mean, crappy, emotionally abusive shit -- shit that was so bad for me. Doing so, and coming out the other side, taught me not to ever again let someone grind me down, the way I let the SSD grind me down. Now, before you Damon devotees get all up in arms, I'm not saying that Damon is Elena's SSD. I'm saying Damon is just what Rose said he is going to be -- the worst or best thing for Elena. If he's the worst thing for her, Elena will gain something from the relationship with him. If he's the best thing for her, Elena will gain everything from the relationship. Either way, it's a decision only Elena can make. Despite his love for his sister, Jeremy needs to stay out of it. He wouldn't steal her joy, so he shouldn't steal her pain. Okay, lecture over.
Fortress Forbes. Tyler is waiting in Caroline's bedroom, when she enters carrying a pillow and blanket. Her mother says Ty can stay as long as he needs, provided he stays on the couch. Tyler is bummed, but amenable. I start laughing at the morality in Mystic Falls. Yes, immortal daughter. You're a blood sucking fiend and your boyfriend is a hybrid blood sucking fiend + hound dog. He can stay over, but no sex for you. Don't get me wrong. No boy would be sleeping in my 17 or 18 year old daughter's bed, but once we're talking vampires and hybrids, some of this protectionism seems silly. Talk turns to speculation about what Damon and Stefan will learn about their bloodline's originator. Tyler says, "If Klaus didn't create their line, and they try to kill him..." Caroline kisses him and tells him she just got him back. She's not losing him again.
While Caroline brings Tyler's blanket and pillow to her couch, Tyler idly looks around her room. He notices Klaus's OMG CAROLINE + PONIES sketch on her bedside table. "Klaus drew this for you? That's pretty creepy." Caroline agrees. Klaus is creepy, even when he's aiming for charming. Tyler's all, "Charming? Does Klaus have a thing for you, or something?" Caroline: "No! As far as I'm concerned, he is incapable of real feelings." Tyler seriously wants to know what happened while he was gone. Caroline assures him it was nothing. Tyler wants to know why she kept the etching, if that's true. Caroline doesn't know. Hell, I know. When a guy draws an OMG YOU + PONIES picture, it's really hard not to love it, even if you don't love him. Tyler shakes his head and looks down at the drawing. "I think I'm gonna find someplace else to spend the night." Caroline calls out after him as he leaves, but to no avail. Seriously, Tyler? I can't even. I was so happy you're back, but now? You don't deserve the awesomeness that is our Vampire Barbie, Caroline. Don't let the door hit ya where the good Lord split ya.
Caves, No Vampires Allowed Chamber. Rebekah stands at the doorway and orders Ric to get the stake. He does. His face is still bleeding. Gag. Does no one have a face cloth? Grabbing the stake, Evilaric sits down on Esther's now vacant coffin. "Why would I give you the one thing that requires everyone to keep me alive?" Rebekah says if they're bargaining, she'll need to know his offer. Evilaric: "There's only one stake out there, which means only one Original has to die. Help me, and I'll make sure it's not you." Rebekah declares his offer tenuous, but gives him points for effort. I think I'll let the lady speak the rest of her lines for herself...
Rebekah: You see, I don't want one Original to die. [She looks down at her feet and crosses into the No Vampires Allowed chamber.] I want them all to die.
Evilaric: [rising, nervously] How the hell did you do that?
Rebekah: It was easy to fool Niklaus, but I thought you, of all people, would understand. After all, my son did use your body at one point.
Evilaric: You're not Rebekah.
Not Rebekah: No. My name is Esther, and we have a great deal in common.
Audience: Holy shit, Evilaric. It's Eloise Hawking. Run!
So that happened. I flirted with the idea of changing my grade from an A to something lower (mostly based on all my complaints in the above sidebars). I decided not to because I enjoyed the heck out of this episode. I love the Esther/Rebekah switcheroo. I've read complaints that since Klaus-in-Alaric could enter houses without an invite, Esther-in-Rebekah should not be able to enter the No Vamps Allowed cave chamber, but I don't care. It's likely Esther cast the No Vamps Allowed spell on that chamber, so I can accept that she knows where there's a backdoor. I still wish Elena and Damon had said something to the Germ about the ring and that Damon had reversed his compulsion, but those are annoyances (to me), that's all. We have movement on the Damon/Elena front. Stefan has taken a giant step forward. And most importantly? There are only (please God) a few more episodes until the Son of White Oak storyline is dead and buried. All in all, I'm in a good place, and feel like my show is back. season, I still want a return to normally revelatory conversations. And well, there's a whole wish list here, but I'm out of time and out of wine.
I'll be back with coverage of "Do Not Go Gentle." In the meantime, please grade the episode up top and join us in the forum, where we're pretty sure we've identified at least one of Elena's feelings for Damon.